It was if the waiting had built a patience in Gabe, a desire to make our first kiss something lasting and infinite. His lips brushed mine, back and forth, asking me for an invitation, and I gave it. His hands gathered up the weight of my hair and let it fall through his fingers, testing the way it felt. His body leaned into mine, so that the wall propped us both up when gravity tugged me down. Then those fingers slid under my shirt to discover the small of my back, and my skin wanted to throw a party.
I stopped thinking and did what I’d imagined so there would be no regrets. My hands met at his neck, traced across his shoulders, and explored the muscles and skin between there and down to his hips. I flattened my fingers against his shoulder blades to pull him closer. I tasted his mouth, and I fell deeper into him. And when we came up for air, our eyes met, naked with emotion. Then he smiled and I had to see what that tasted like, and we dove back into each other to find out how our second kiss would be.
It was during our fourth kiss that green fireworks ignited against my eyelids. Neither of us had bothered with our mental defenses, and I stole his immortality—healing it.
“Gabe,” I warned, as his mouth slid to my jaw. “My powers . . .”
The panic rose in me, but he soothed a hand down my back. “I know.” I thought he would ignore what was happening, but he eased away in stages, his lips finding a new patch of exposed skin between retreats. He rested his forehead against mine, his green eyes burning with fires that I wanted to throw myself in. “It doesn’t matter.”
Our ragged breathing sounded loud in the small room, and I stared back at him. I couldn’t help it if this scared me. Being with him felt natural—necessary—but what if I hurt him? The first time I’d kissed Asher, I’d thought I was going to kill him when I’d lost control of my abilities. That hadn’t occurred with Gabe, and I didn’t understand why when I burned everywhere we touched.
“Gabe, something is happening to me. I think . . .” I licked my lips, hesitating. “I’m changing. Can’t you sense it? It’s like I’m siphoning off your energy. The more I take, the more powerful I’m becoming.”
Trust Gabe to stay calm with a tornado bearing down us. The timbre of his voice soothed some nerves, while sparking others. “You’re faster. You’re hearing things you shouldn’t. What else?” he asked.
“I can see in the dark. I’m stronger, too.”
“Are you sure it’s not that we’re growing weaker?”
Gabe didn’t sound upset about the possibility, but I shook my head. “The thing is . . . I may have left out a bit about my visit with Seamus.”
I explained about what happened when I’d attacked Seamus. He listened in silence, his hands never losing their place on my back. When I finished, I dropped my gaze to his Adam’s apple and waited for the explosion, the lecture about the dangerous chances that I took. Asher had hated that, and we’d argued about it all the time, especially when I didn’t tell him about things that I knew would upset him.
“Hey.” Gabe bent to see my face. “I’m not Asher. I trust you, Remy.” I must have looked shocked, because he laughed and dropped a solid kiss on my mouth. “Look, you’re used to taking care of other people. Bad things happen, and you either process it or you put it away until you can deal with it later. I get it. I get you.”
That was exactly how I worked. I had needed time to think about what I’d done to Seamus before I told the others. The violence I’d displayed hadn’t surprised me, but the way I’d devoured his energy had. I had liked it too much and that scared me. I hadn’t imagined that Gabe would get that I needed to figure out how I felt before I could tell someone else about it.
“You see a lot, Gabriel Blackwell,” I said, brushing a lock of hair off his forehead.
He tilted his head into my caress. “I see you. You’re fierce when you love someone. It’s how you tick, and I think it’s obvious that I like the way you tick.” I bit my lip and Gabe grinned. “I also know when you’re biting back the sarcasm. Go ahead and mock me. You know you want to.”
“Who me? No way. That was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me.” Then because I couldn’t leave things alone, I walked my fingers up his chest in a blatant come-on and added in a deep voice, “Baby, are you a clock? Because I like the way you tick.”
Gabe lost it, throwing his head back and laughing. “You are impossible to romance.”
I tilted my head to the side so I could kiss his neck, and his laugh disappeared. “I don’t know. You seem to be doing just fine.”
“Yeah?” he breathed.
“Yeah.”
His head dropped, and I lost my ability to count somewhere after kiss number six.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Gabe and I tried not to be obvious around the others out of consideration for Asher. We acted as we always had, never touching and making an effort to keep our eyes off each other. We hid our impatience to be alone, and then practiced holding our breath whenever we managed to sneak away. The green sparks kept on, but Gabe didn’t care. It had taken months to change Asher, and I prayed we’d find my father before that happened to Gabe. If Asher noticed that things had shifted between Gabe and me, he didn’t give anything away. Three days of waiting for Seamus to call with news, and we thought we’d succeeded in keeping our relationship a secret.
On the fourth morning, I sat in the dining room eating cereal when I heard Gabe roar upstairs. A minute later, Lottie came speeding through the dining room, almost cackling with glee. That was enough to snap me awake, but then Gabe ran into the dining room looking like he’d just rolled out of bed. His brown hair stood on end, and he looked deliciously sleepy. He spied me and drew to an abrupt halt.
My nerve endings stood up and did cartwheels when I saw he wore sweats and nothing else. Well, almost nothing else. I blinked at his chest. Someone had taken a black Sharpie to the skin over his heart and written PROPERTY OF REMINGTON. Flowers and vines bordered the words in fancy curlicues. Under my perusal, Gabe’s skin flushed a bright shade of red, and I raised both brows when the color spread.
“Sound sleeper?” I asked. He had to have been out for Lottie to do that.
“I was up late,” he reminded me.
My fault. I’d insisted I couldn’t sleep until he kissed me one last time. That had turned into a lot of last times by the time he went to his room.
“I regret nothing,” I quipped.
Behind him, Lucy and Erin appeared. “What’s the ruckus?” Lucy said. She circled Gabe, saw his chest, and clapped a hand over her mouth to smother her laugh. Erin peered around him to see what had caused the reaction, and they both collapsed into giggles.
Gabe’s stare dared me to join in. Instead, I motioned him forward with a sweet smile. He narrowed his eyes at me, but he did as I asked. When he stood in front of me, I touched his hand and “healed” his skin, restoring the cells. The marks disappeared from his chest, and his hooded gaze dropped to my shirt like he wanted to see how they’d transferred to my skin. I felt myself turning red, and his lips finally quirked in a smile.
“Lottie?” he asked calmly.
I pointed toward the kitchen and he leaned down to lay a kiss on me that would have wrecked my ability to stand if I hadn’t been sitting. “Good morning,” he whispered in a husky voice.
Then he was gone, and his shout of “I’m going to kill you, Lottie!” echoed through the house.
As soon as he disappeared, I glanced over at Lucy and Erin, who watched me with huge eyes. I peeked inside my shirt, and the evidence of Lottie’s prank stripped the last of my control. I laughed so hard I cried, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so happy.
If not for Gabe, the waiting would have been interminable. As it was, I wanted to call Seamus a thousand times a day to see what kind of progress he was making. I still wasn’t sure if I could trust him, but I didn’t know what other choice I had. We’d exhausted our other options for finding my father, and there was no way we would give up on him. So we waited, a
nd I tried not to lose my mind.
Later that day, Gabe went off to patrol with Lottie, and Erin and I made a bowl of popcorn to take down to the family room. We’d developed a Doctor Who addiction to fill the time. Erin loved the Eleventh Doctor, Matt Smith, but I was a die-hard fan of David Tennant, the Tenth Doctor. We settled on the couch with feet propped on the table to watch our favorite episode, where Sally Sparrow took on the creepy Weeping Angels with a little help from the Doctor. Halfway through the episode, I realized that Erin wasn’t paying attention. She’d drifted off into her thoughts, and they weren’t happy ones judging by the expression on her face.
I touched her leg, careful to keep my guard up. Since my run-in with Seamus, I’d noticed that I had to be more careful around her. That monster inside me woke whenever I was around her now, and I didn’t want to chance hurting her. In fact, Asher had taken over training with her to make things easier. She excelled at it, sparring with him and Lucy with a determination that I understood. I think she imagined Alcais as her opponent and it lit a fire in her.
“Popcorn for your thoughts,” I said.
She smiled. “No pennies?”
I shook my head at her. “The popcorn has butter and salt. I was offering you gold, woman.” She ignored the bowl, and I said, “Seriously, are you okay?”
She sighed and the sound was heavy with sadness. “I was thinking about home. I miss my mom.”
She’d been so agreeable since she joined us that sometimes I forgot how she’d been ripped from her life and everyone she loved.
“I’m sorry, Erin.”
“Are you sure I can’t call them?” I frowned, and she rushed on. “You said it yourself. Seamus followed Gabe into the woods that day. Franc didn’t send them.”
My feet hit the floor, and apprehension wound its way around my spine. “You can’t call home. Franc has already shown that he’s tracing our calls, and even though it wasn’t him in Muir Woods, he knows that you’re with us now. I’m sorry. We have to be careful.”
The apology sounded weak to my ears. I wondered if it would have consoled me if I was in her place, and I knew it wouldn’t have. She missed her family and her community, and I couldn’t blame her.
“Tell you what. Why don’t you write her a letter? We’ll figure out a way to get it to her.”
It wasn’t enough to remove the sadness from her eyes, but Erin nodded. “Okay.”
We turned back to the show, but I could tell Erin’s heart wasn’t in it. Maybe Gabe would have a way for her to call home without it tracing back to us. I resolved to ask him about it.
Gabe let himself into my room after everyone had gone to bed that night. It was difficult to date someone when you couldn’t actually leave the house to go on dates. The newness of Gabe and me was something I wanted to savor, and we couldn’t do that in the open where it might cause Asher pain. These late-night visits were a compromise. Our way of spending time alone.
I laughed when I saw what he was wearing. Gray sweats and a white T-shirt.
“Nice,” he said, eying my matching outfit. “We’re already dressing alike. Imagine how in sync we’ll be a year from now.”
He carried a book with him and dropped it on the nightstand. His gaze followed me as I put my clothes away in the wardrobe. The hungry look on his face said there would be a lot of kissing in my near future. He sat on my bed on top of the covers with his back against the headboard and his legs stretched out in front of him. His size ensured he took up a lot of space, more than his share of the bed, and he never apologized for it. I liked how confident he was and the way his confidence infected me. If I wanted more of the bed, he trusted that I would tell him so or shove him over. Gabe didn’t play head games. I would always know where I stood with him.
“What?” he said. “You have an odd look on your face.”
“Nothing,” I answered. “Hey, do you think you could find a way for Erin to call home?”
I told him about my talk with her, and he frowned. “She’s so even-keeled that I didn’t realize she was upset.”
I took my earrings off and walked to the dresser to put them in a dish for safekeeping. “That’s how she gets by. Where I used anger to deflect things, she uses smiles. She might have me beat in the strength department.”
“Alcais really did a number on her, didn’t he?”
I nodded and gritted my teeth. “It makes me wish I’d known when we were in Pacifica that first time. I would have found a way to make him sorry.”
“Remington the Fierce. Woe to those who screw with her loved ones.”
He smiled with understanding when I turned to face him. “It really doesn’t bother you, does it? That I would fight to keep the people I cared about safe, even if it means endangering myself?”
His answer meant a lot to me, and he seemed to sense it. He considered my question for a moment before saying, “Not even a little. It’s who you are. I suppose it would worry me if you were always risking your life to save mine, but you wouldn’t do that.”
“I wouldn’t?” I asked, bemused by his certainty.
He shook his head. “No, you wouldn’t. Just like I trust you to take care of yourself, you trust me in the same way. And I know you would ask for help if you needed it, the same as I would.”
That was the second time he’d brought up trust. Who knew the word was such a turn-on? I smiled and stalked toward the bed, crawling across it until I could reach him. I straddled his thighs, and his hands landed on my waist.
“May I?” he asked, one of his hands tugging on my French braid. I nodded and he pulled the rubber band off. His fingers loosened my hair, separating the strands so that it hung over one shoulder. The intent look on his face made me shiver, and the backs of his hands brushed my collarbone.
“What’s that?” I asked in a shaky voice, tipping my head to the book.
He shrugged. “I found it in the library. It’s a book on Greek mythology. There’s a section about the phoenix that I thought you might like.”
“Read it to me?” I asked, touched by the thoughtful gesture.
He nodded, and I moved to lie beside him, our heads sharing a pillow. That didn’t feel close enough, and he agreed because he slid an arm under my head and pulled me half on top of him with my leg over his and my arm across his chest. I tucked my face into his neck to breathe him in. I loved the scent of him. It reminded me of running beside him in the moonlight in San Francisco. We settled together like we’d always known each other. No awkwardness or hesitation.
“It’s so easy.” I tilted my head up to see his face. “Being with you. I didn’t expect it.”
“I did.” His fingers tangled in my hair, always in my hair, and I sighed with pleasure.
“But how could you know?” I asked, touching his jaw. He’d shaved, and I savored the feel of the smooth skin.
Gabe kissed my hand, and placed it against his heart so I could feel the steady beat of it under my hand. “Because we fit,” he said simply.
His low voice washed over me as he propped open the book and began to read about the phoenix. Only one phoenix could exist at a time, and every five hundred years, the bird would die in flames only to be reborn in the ashes. A symbol of immortality, the phoenix would always resurrect itself. One story told of how the creature could heal itself when wounded by an enemy. An immortal Healer, I thought, with a shudder. I didn’t think I would want that life, especially when I watched the people I cared about die.
What could my future with Gabe hold? He said we fit, and he was right. We were alike in so many ways. Fierce protectors of our families. Survivors.
Gabe’s voice dropped off, and I looked up expecting him to be asleep. Instead I found him staring down at me. “Where are you tonight?” he asked.
“Do you know when my feelings for you changed?”
Gabe shifted, rolling onto his side so that we faced each other. He tugged a blanket over us and reached for my hand. “I suspect it was when we bonded, but I could be off about t
hat.”
I shoved him and he gave a quiet laugh. “Smart-ass. But do you know why my feelings shifted?”
He was quiet for a moment and then he said, “In the beginning, I worried it was because you had mistaken me for Asher.”
I reeled away from him, though our joined hands didn’t let me go far. “You’re not interchangeable, you know.”
“I know,” he said. “But you love us both.”
Sometimes the truth hurt, but I wouldn’t lie to Gabe. “You’re right. It shredded me to feel something for both of you, so I pretended that I could never care about you. But you wouldn’t stay in the box where I’d put you.”
He didn’t judge me, but then he’d known how I felt. “The one marked enemy?”
“No. The one marked friend, idiot.”
“I’m stubborn that way.” He kissed my nose, and then gave me an expectant look. “So tell me about how great I am and how you couldn’t resist me.”
I laughed. “It wasn’t like that. Do you remember the night you rescued me in San Francisco? We thought Asher had died, and I wanted to die, too. You wouldn’t let me.”
“I yelled at you when you wouldn’t heal yourself,” he said with a grimace.
I laid a hand over his heart. “You also sang to me and helped me heal myself and nursed me and held me while I cried for your brother. You were there for me before I even knew I needed you. You always have been.”
His heart jumped under my fingertips, skipping a beat.
“I didn’t want to care about you then, Gabe, but you’re pushy. Every time I turned around you were there, and now I can’t imagine it any other way. You make me happy. I’ve laughed more with you than I ever have.”
There hadn’t been a lot of joy in my life. I hadn’t played or laughed freely, but Gabe gave that to me. It felt like I betrayed Asher to admit that.
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