Jayson (Fallen Brook High School YA series)
Page 12
Maria snorts and pulls the fingers I'm holding up to her head and gives me a mock salute using them. “Yes, sir!”
Elizabeth has been watching our exchange, a scowl on her face, and opens her mouth to say something, but Maria once again interrupts by squealing loudly. Jesus, this girl is loud.
Someone has brought Bluetooth speakers and hooks up their phone to blast out music. “Hell yeah! Let’s dance!” She and Hailey run off and begin dancing around the bonfire.
Jayson kisses the side of Elizabeth’s cheek and tells her to join the girls. “Nah, I’m good here,” she replies, taking a sip of her water.
“Lizzie! Get over here!” Maria shouts, jumping up and down rocking out to the music.
“Baby, go have some fun.” He gives Elizabeth a nudge. We both know she’s dying to get out there. Her hips are already moving to the beat of the music.
A girl passes in front us carrying four beers. Jayson reaches out and snags two causing the girl to yelp out “Hey!” before she sees it’s Jayson.
“Oh!” the girl says before blushing bright red. “Hi, Jayson. Hi, Ryder,” the girl says to us. Elizabeth frowns. She’s been doing that a lot tonight.
“Thanks.” Jayson winks at the girl and turns back around to ELizabeth and me, completely ignoring her. We hear a humph as she stomps off.
“Lizzie! Come on!” Maria and Hailey both shout out.
“Elizabeth, seriously. Go dance,” I tell her.
“Are you sure?” she asks me, looking warily between me and Jayson as Jayson pops the top off one of the bottles he stole.
“Elizabeth, for Pete's sake, get over here!” Hailey calls out.
I can see Elizabeth hesitate, not sure on what she should do. I feel bad for her knowing she’s more than likely going to be nursing a drunk Jayson’s later tonight at the rate he’s going. I'll need to find Julien and tell him not to drink so he can drive them home.
“Go, Elizabeth. I got him,” I assure her.
She links her pinky with mine and squeezes before leaving to join the girls.
I turn to Jayson after she’s out of earshot. “You need to slow down.” I motion to the bottle in his hand.
“Whatever, man. I don’t need a babysitter,” he slurs slightly, somewhat buzzed and heading toward tipsy fast.
He’s starting to tick me off with his surly mood, so I shrug and ignore him and watch Elizabeth dance around the bonfire, her braid bouncing, eyes closed, head tilted to the side, mouth slightly parted. Maria backs up to Elizabeth so their backs are touching as they dance. Both girls giggle as they move up and down, hands raised, slightly bent, fingertips reaching for the night sky. Something stirs inside of me when I hear Elizabeth’s voice belt out the lyrics to the song she’s dancing to. God, I love her voice.
“My girlfriend is so sexy,” Jayson groans. I couldn’t agree with Jayson more. “You should hit up Maria,” he tells me.
For the second time tonight I reply, “Not interested.”
“You guys appeared quite cozy earlier.”
“She’s just a friend,” I clip back.
“Be right back,” he says and hands me his empty beer bottle.
I watch Jayson stalk over and grab Elizabeth, smashing his mouth down on hers in a hard kiss. She jumps, startled, but then relaxes as she weaves her arms around his neck. I know I should turn around and leave. Why torture myself? But that’s exactly what I do. I watch as he kisses her passionately. I watch as he grabs her and lifts her up. I watch as her legs wrap around his waist. I stand there like a perv and watch it all, wanting to be him, jealous that I’m not. Jayson carries Elizabeth off, stumbling a bit.
A movement beside me catches my eye. Jacinda slides in next to me holding out a bottle. “Hey,” she says.
“Hey,” I say back.
Jayson
It doesn’t escape my notice that Elizabeth has been distracted tonight ever since she saw Ryder and Maria together. Maria has always been a bit odd, but tonight she and Ry appear to be hitting it off. I’m happy for him, really. He’s a great guy and deserves to be with a great girl, even though I know the great girl he wants is mine.
For the past year, Ry and I have slowly put our friendship back together. It’s almost like old times between him, me, and Julien and it feels good to have my friend back. Doesn’t mean that I’m going to let my guard down when it comes to him and Liz. I know he still loves her. I see the look he gets on his face when he watches her. Perhaps I can help push his attention elsewhere, and Maria seems as good as any for me to use to start that push.
When Ry and Maria catch up to us, Elizabeth pulls her aside as Fallon walks over to greet Ryder.
“What was that all about?” Elizabeth asks Maria. I take that opportunity to go get us something to drink, but I can still hear them talking as I stroll over to a cooler sitting in the dirt.
“What was what all about?”
“You and Ryder.”
“What about me and Ryder?”
“Mar.”
I spot Julien heading toward Ry and Fallon. By the time I get back to Liz, whatever conversation she and Maria were having has ended. I hand Liz and Hailey a water and Maria a beer. Elijah and Julien walk off and then so do Fallon and Jacinda.
“I would stay away from that one,” I warn Ry. Jacinda’s been closely watching Ryder even though she’s apparently with Fallon tonight.
“Not interested, so doesn’t matter.”
My jaw clenches when I see him looking at Elizabeth, but I keep my mouth shut.
“Well, Jacinda definitely is interested. Ry, you should—”
Liz and the girls join us, stopping me from finishing my sentence, and I see Liz frowning once again as she watches Jacinda. My mood suddenly sours. I gulp down my first beer hoping it will help alleviate the ache in my chest, then decide it isn’t enough and start guzzling my second. Some of my old fears decide to rear their ugly heads at me. The only way I’m going to get through tonight is to get hammered. When Maria shouts out, “I’m so going to get drunk tonight,” I tip my bottle back in absolute agreement.
By the time Ryder and I are standing watching the girls dance around the bonfire, I’ve got a very nice buzz going. It mellows me out enough so that I don’t get too upset as I continuously side-eye Ryder next to me because he can’t seem to stop looking at Liz. Jealousy is a dangerous thing. I swore to Liz I would move heaven and earth to make sure our unit of four stayed intact. I know how much her friendship with Ryder means to her, how much it means to me too, and I love my girl, so I will not do anything ever again to hurt her like Ry and I did last year. That doesn’t mean, however, I can’t show him who she belongs to now.
“My girlfriend is so sexy,” I groan. Time to push. “You should hit up Maria.”
“Not interested.”
“You guys appeared quite cozy earlier.”
“She’s just a friend.” This isn’t going anywhere. Whatever. I have better things to do and stumble away to get my hands on my sexy girlfriend.
I grab her and turn her in my arms before smashing my lips down on hers. She startles before realizing it’s me. I get a high every time I kiss Liz. I can’t imagine I’ll ever get tired of how her lips feel against mine. I lift her up and she wraps those long, toned legs around my waist, her skin glistening with sweat from dancing around the bonfire.
“You are so beautiful,” I tell her and walk off with her wrapped around me to find a more secluded spot. I weave a little and wonder if I’m more drunk than I thought.
Liz is lost in our kiss and doesn’t notice that we’ve left the bonfire until I press her back against the side of a tree across from the dilapidated warehouse.
“What are you doing, Jayson?”
“Making out with my girlfriend,” I respond.
“Jayson, not here,” she says, but my tipsy brain disagrees.
Liz and I decided a while ago not to rush into having sex. Do I want to? Yes. Every minute of every hour of every day. I love this girl so much. But
I know she’s not ready to take that next big step yet. However, like I said a second ago, my drunk brain doesn’t care. My insecurities are high tonight with old fears about her and Ryder.
“Jayson, stop.”
I don’t listen. I pull at her shirt. She doesn’t shove me away or yell at me. I deserve it though, shame sneaking its way into my inebriated mind for how I’m behaving. She gently touches my face with her hands and lifts it up so our eyes meet. She kisses me once on the mouth and once on the forehead.
“Jayson,” she speaks to me soothingly, “we’re in the middle of the woods and you’re drunk.”
I try to focus on what she’s telling me, but all I see are two of her, the four beers I practically inhaled in minutes showing their effects. The only thing I can do is nod and lay my head on her shoulder. God, she smells good.
She turns me around, taking most of my weight on her delicate shoulders. “Let’s go find Julien.”
Elizabeth drags my dropping body away from the tree and back toward the bonfire. I’m starting to feel a bit sick to my stomach, beer sloshing around in my guts. I should have eaten before we came out here tonight. As we pass the side of the warehouse, Elizabeth suddenly halts in her tracks, jostling me which makes my stomach heave. I raise my head and see two forms standing against next to the warehouse.
I hear Elizabeth’s pained gasp, “Ryder?” And then I throw up.
Ryder
Jayson is carrying Elizabeth off, and my stomach plummets. I have a pretty good idea of what’s going on in his mind after seeing him grab her and lift her up. Why can’t I move on from her? Why am I still so obsessed with Elizabeth? I sit by and pine away, wanting her to notice how I continue to hold my heart out to her in my hands, pleading for her to take it. She’s still my best friend. She still loves me, I assure myself, so shouldn’t that be enough? To have her in my life even though I can’t have her in my arms? Thoughts of what she and Jayson are probably doing right now cut me like a thousand daggers, shredding me. Have they had sex yet? Are they having sex now?
A movement beside me catches my eye. Jacinda slides in next to me holding out a bottle.
“Hey,” she says. I chug the rest of Jayson’s beer and take the one she’s offering.
“Hey,” I say back.
“You’re not here with anyone tonight I see. And I’m not with Fallon.” She moves closer to me and smiles. I smile back which makes Jacinda's smile widen across her face. “Want to get out of here?” she asks.
Do I, I wonder? Part of me is desperate to move on, to try and find a semblance of happiness with someone else even if it's not with Elizabeth. She’s with Jayson. She’s happy. Me? I want one minute not to live in my pathetic self-imposed seclusion. I want to feel something, anything, other than the lonliness that I feel.
“Yeah,” I say, taking Jacinda’s hand and pulling her toward the warehouse.
Jacinda wraps her arm around mine and giggles. I don’t want to hear her voice right now. It’s not the voice I crave. I just want to forget. I know I’m being a jerk. I’m about to use a girl who I could care less about just so I can escape my need for the girl who has always owned my heart. I justify what I’m about to do by telling myself that Jacinda was the one to approach me and make the first move.
I pull Jacinda around the side of the warehouse, out of sight from the bonfire where darkness can shroud us. She reaches around my neck so she can raise up on her toes to kiss me. I close my eyes and imagine a different scene playing out, a different girl. I imagine it's Elizabeth who is kissing me.
Getting disgusted with myself, I’m about to pull away from her when my worst nightmare happens.
A sound of a gasp. A voice I would know anywhere because it haunts my dreams.
“Ryder?”
Jacinda turns around and glares at Elizabeth who is holding on to Jayson. She curls herself around my waist, sending Elizabeth a smug grin. A strained silence filled with regret and remorse hangs over us as the crickets chirp and the voices of partiers drift over from the bonfire. Before I can say a word or rush over to Elizabeth and beg her to forgive me, Jayson vomits all over her shoes.
Chapter 13
Elizabeth
It’s Valentine’s Day and Jayson is taking me to Anaïs, a very exclusive restaurant located in the next town over. Maria and I went dress shopping last weekend and I found a gorgeous dark blue V-neck chiffon A-line midi dress. I pull the plastic protective covering off the hanger and place the hook over the bathroom door. I’m streaming some benign Top 40 pop music, shaking my butt to the beat as I finish straightening my hair with the flat iron. My phone pings and I see a text from Maria.
Maria: What do you think? Too much?
She attaches a picture she took of her herself in the full-length mirror inside of her closet. Maria’s wearing the yellow cocktail dress she bought. It looks good against her tanned skin and dark hair. She’s paired it with gold t-strap five-inch heels. Her hair is twisted up on top of her head with loose tendrils curling around her ears and neck. She looks stunning.
She and Ryder started dating a month ago and I’m trying not to act weird about it. She’s so smitten with him and it’s good to see him smiling. Maria is such a goofball, you can't help but laugh when she’s around.
Me: You look beautiful.
Maria: I’m so nervous.
Me: You will break hearts tonight. Have fun.
Maria: OMG! He’s here! Got 2 go xxoo
I go back to the bathroom mirror and pick up my mascara, needing to hurry because Jayson will be here in ten minutes. My hand shakes as I bring it up to my eye. I toss it aside and lean against my bathroom counter to stare at myself. My eyes take in my light blond hair. I cut it some, about five inches, so it hangs at my shoulder blades, and had some layering put in to give more volume along the sides. Jayson says he loves it and runs his hands through my hair every chance he gets. I look deeper into my light green eyes. I wonder if Jayson can see what lurks behind them. I wonder if Ryder can.
My phone pings again.
Julien: Our boy is about to climb the walls waiting to come get you.
Me: I’m almost done getting ready.
Julien: Hold on…
My phone starts going off and I see Julien’s name requesting a video call with me. I swipe accept immediately.
“Hey bestie,” Julien chirps as soon as his face comes up on the screen. I must look ridiculous in full make-up and hair wearing my unicorn-patterened bathrobe. I squint at the screen because Julien’s face is hard to make out.
“Where are you? It’s really dark.”
“I had to hide in the laundry room so Jay wouldn't hear me. You look fantastic, Liz.”
I snort. “Yeah, right. Are you about ready to head out too?”
“Yeah. I’m going to wait for you guys to leave first, just in case. And I want to see what happens.”
“What’s going to happen?”
“You’ll see,” he grins widely.
Even though he’s full of teasing right now, I know Julien is apprehensive about his date tonight. I’m the only one who knows about it, and he has sworn me to secrecy. He still hasn’t come out to his parents, to Jayson or Ryder either. I feel guilty keeping secrets from Jayson, but it's not my secret to tell and I will not betray Julien or the trust he has in me.
“Where are you and Elijah off to tonight?”
“We thought it would be safer if we went to dinner in Fayetteville. No one should know us or recognize us there.”
When I first found out that Julien and Elijah were in a relationship, my mouth dropped. To say it was a total shocker is an understatement. All the times Elijah showed up to the events, races, and parties we went to wasn’t for him to see me. It was Elijah’s opportunity to see Julien. They are both scared of what will happen if their friends or the kids at school find out about them. It makes me mad that there are still such close-minded, bigoted people out there. Julien and Elijah are two of the kindest, most loving, people I know. I love Ju
lien with all my heart, and he deserves to be happy without having to live his life in fear or feel shame because of who he is. Because to me, he’s already perfect.
Besides, I’ve always liked Elijah. He and I have gotten closer since Julien told me about their relationship. I’ve grown quite protective of Elijah, and he trusts me like Julien does. I make plans for the three of us to hang out together alone when Jayson isn’t occupying every waking minute of my life. I want to give the two of them every opportunity to be able to express their relationship with one another, to provide for them a moment where they can hold hands, kiss, and be affectionate, without fear of being judged. I cherish those times with Julien and Elijah because I see how much they care for and adore each other. I know Jayson and Ryder would feel the same way as I do if Julien would give them the chance.
“Julien, Fayetteville’s like over an hour away!”
“Better to be safe than sorry,” is his reply. “Liz, hold on. I think I just heard Jayson leave the house.”
“Crap! I’ve haven’t even put my dress on. Love you!”
“Bye, Liz. Keep our boy in line tonight.”
I snicker, “Yeah, you know that’s not going to happen.” I blow him a kiss and end the video call.
I hear my mom calling my name from downstairs. I rush to shimmy into my chiffon dress, step into my yellow strappy heels, spritz on some perfume, and dash downstairs. If I wasn’t holding on to the stair banister, I would have tripped and fallen down the stairs, making this Valentine’s very memorable. The reason for my falter is the handsome boy standing at the bottom, looking up at me with love and adoration in his eyes.
I have not once seen Jayson in anything fancier than khaki slacks and a dinner jacket. Tonight, however, he’s wearing a dark charcoal men’s dress suit, blue dress shirt, and dark tie with blue and silver accents. He has styled his thick brown hair so that his bangs are parted to the side and up giving him a more clean-cut look. Jayson’s resting his shoulder against the bottom banister, one hand casually in the pocket of his slacks, looking every bit like a GQ model. He is breathtaking.