by J. L. Wyer
I sit down on my bedroom floor to open the paper star Jayson left for me. Inside is a quote: "You weren’t just a star to me, you were my whole damn sky." I press the paper against my chest. Once I feel more settled, I read Maria’s texts.
Maria: Yo, girlie! U better text me as soon as U get up. Waiting for some juicy gossip.
Maria: Guess ur not up yet. Late nite perhaps?
Maria: It’s past 8! U never sleep past 7. Text me asap! On pins and needles about ur date.
Me: Just woke up.
Maria: There u r!
Me: Didn’t get home til late. How bout u?
Maria: Normal time.
Normal time? I bite my lip and ask myself, do I really want to know? Yes, I do.
Me: Normal time? No sleep overs?
Maria: Nope. Ry took me to dinner and brought me home after.
Maria: I did try to attack him in the car. He looked so f’ing hot last night.
Me: And?
Maria: Said he wanted to go slow. Wasn’t ready for that yet.
Relief pours through me.
Maria: Did my best girlie get lucky last nite?
Me: U r so crass
And this is where I lie to my best friend, something I have never done before. I’m not ashamed of what Jayson and I did last night, quite the contrary. I do not, however, want even a hint of it to get back to Ryder. So I lie.
Me: Nope. Nothing major to tell. Jayson was very romantic tho. Lit our tree up with lights and hung paper stars with love notes in them. Made me a tree swing. Dinner was nice. Then came home and we went to forest fort and talked all nite.
Maria: Awwww.
Me: Jayson coming in a bit. Need to get ready.
Maria: OK, chica. Talk 2nite. Ryder said he had to help his dad today so Im going back to bed.
Me: Hugs. Sweet dreams.
The need to go pound out some of my wayward mixed up emotions overcomes me. I head to the shower and decide that afterward, I’ll go release some of my nervous energy by wailing on my drums. Maybe Dad will join me.
Dad had to run into town but said we could jam later if I was still at the house. I grab the toast Mom left out for me and head to the music room. I take a seat behind dad’s Yamaha drum set he uses to practice with and twirl my sticks between my fingers deciding on what to play. Scrolling through my phone, I select “My Hero” by the Foo Fighters and press play. My phone is connected to a surround sound speaker unit Dad installed for the room. I love cranking up music and playing along on the drums to whatever song is streaming. As soon as the song starts and I hear the first beat at the beginning of the song, I quickly join in and lose myself in the tribal pounding of the drums. My arms and legs work in synchronicity, and I can feel sweat already trickling down the hollow of my back from exertion.
I’m so connected and lost in what I’m doing, I almost lose the rhythm when an electric guitar joins in, startling me. I’m even more taken aback to see Ryder in front of me, arms pumping down on the guitar strings, playing the melody. We grin at each other like fools, never once breaking eye contact as we play. Ryder ends the song with one last guitar riff as the music fades.
“I haven’t heard you play guitar in a long time. I didn’t realize how much I missed that.” My dad used to give Ryder guitar lessons just like me. It’s why we’re so comfortable playing and singing around each other. “You look so hot playing guitar.” I fan my face pretending to swoon.
“And you’re one sexy drummer. Want to do one more?”
“Absolutely. Your pick. Fast or slow?”
Ryder scratches the side of his jaw with the guitar pick in contemplation. “Another fast one. How about some Fall Out Boy? 'Sugar, We’re Going Down?'”
I select the song on my phone and hit play. Ryder cues into the music with his guitar immediately, and I watch him as we play. Ryder is very handsome, striking even. Dark hair and eyes that glow like amber. There are some subtle changes that have occurred over the past year, like his shoulders and chest seem wider and bulkier, his hair on top a tad longer, his arms thicker with muscle. Jayson is taller, his body more streamlined from swimming, whereas Ryder is more muscular. Julien is similar in build to his twin brother, but leaner due to all the soccer and running he does. It boggles my mind how I got to be so lucky to have three such gorgeous, captivating boys as my best friends, ones that love me in different ways.
Ryder’s eyes meet mine and he gives me a knowing eyebrow wiggle as he catches me checking him out. My face heats. Yep, totally busted.
Jayson and my dad appear in the doorway as Ryder and I finish the song.
“You guys sound good together,” my dad says as he walks in and picks up his bass guitar. “Do you mind if your old man joins in the jam session?” Dad plucks the strings a few times and turns on the amplifier for it while he waits for us.
“What’s up, Ry?” Jayson asks Ryder, and they fist bump.
“Not much, man. Keeping busy.”
Jayson walks over to where I'm sitting behind the drums and gives me a short, sweet kiss. “Hey baby.”
I tap a drum stick against his butt. “Do you mind waiting while we play?”
“Not at all,” he replies, kissing me one more time and pulling up a stool to sit next to me.
“What’s your poison, dad?”
“Do you guys remember how to play ‘Come Closer’?” Dad asks us.
“Oh! That’s the one you taught both me and Ryder. I love that one.”
Ryder plays the first three measures of the song to refresh his memory. “I think I got it.”
I tap my drum stick against Jayson’s knee to get his attention. “Jayson, would you mind videoing us?”
“On it,” he says and stands up with his phone pointed at us. I want to treasure this rare moment — me, Dad, and Ryder playing together like old times, and Jayson with us. When we finish, my dad lifts me up in a great big bear hug.
“Love you, Pumpkin.”
“Love you too, Dad.” I squeeze him harder. I’ll be leaving for college in a little over a year and won’t have as many opportunities to enjoy my favorite daddy hugs like I do every day now. I want to pack as many in as I can, especially since he’s leaving again for a six-city tour.
Dad puts me back down and clasps Jayson’s and then Ryder’s hands before leaving. “Good to see you boys.”
Ryder goes to the minifridge in the corner and takes out three waters, handing me one and tossing the other to Jayson. He opens his water and takes a sip. “That felt really good. It’s been awhile since I last played. Thanks for letting me play with you.”
“Anytime, you know that. We should do it more often.”
Jayson hooks his arm around my waist. “What brings you by, Ry?”
“Taking a break before I have to head back to the garage.”
“Maria said you guys had a good time last night,” my mouth blurts out before I can stop it.
“Yep,” is his one-word reply, then, “Saw the video of the tree.” A flash of sadness flickers briefly across his face before disappearing. I feel Jayson’s arm tighten around me. The air thickens around us, the tension between Jayson and Ryder palpable. Should I be worried about where this conversation is going?
Ryder is the first to break it. “That was a pretty cool thing to do, Jay. Anyway, I think I’ll head back.”
Jayson surprises me with his response. “If you have time, why don’t you come with. Liz and I were going to grab some lunch in town.” I’m so proud of both of them at this moment.
Ryder hesitates, so I push. “That’s a great idea. You’ll come? Please?”
Ryder takes a deep breath. “Yeah, sure. Yeah, I’ll come. Thanks for asking. Mind if I meet you guys there?”
“Ruby’s Diner in a half hour,” Jayson tells him.
“Got it. I’ll be there.”
Jayson releases me and I walk over to give Ryder a hug. He links his pinky with mine and pu
lls me in, wrapping me in a warm embrace. I rest my cheek against his chest and breathe him in. He gives me one last squeeze before walking out.
Jayson waits until he hears the front door close and then pounces. My body is abruptly lifted and pressed against the adjoining wall, and I only have a second to blink when Jayson lands a hard kiss on my lips. “God, I couldn’t wait another second to get my hands on you. The ease in which he takes me from zero to sixty is ridiculous.
“I wish I could carry you upstairs and have my way with you,” he says.
“You are such a tease.”
“Yeah? Well, your dad is still in the house and I don’t want him to kick my ass if he finds me defiling his daughter. Besides, I have to take my girlfriend out to lunch.”
He grabs my hand and walk to the front door. “Dad!” I yell out.
“What?” he answers from upstairs.
“Going to lunch with Jayson and Ryder. I’ll be back later.”
“Okay, hon.”
Jayson helps me up into his truck. He buckles me in and comes around to hop in the driver’s seat. I roll my head toward him. “That was a really nice thing you did, inviting Ryder to join us.”
“Anything for you, princess.” He reaches for my hand and places it on top of his thigh as he backs out of the driveway. “How are you feeling this morning?” A hint of nervousness creeps into his voice.
“Good. A bit sore.”
“How do you feel about last night, about what happened between us?”
I can tell he needs reassuring, like he’s worried I may regret what we did. “Jayson, pull over please.”
“Why? Do you feel sick?”
“Just pull over please,” I say again. He slows the truck and pulls over in the grass next to the roadside ditch. Once he puts the truck in park, I release my seatbelt and climb over the console to straddle him. His eyes widen but he says nothing. I cup his face in my hands and press soft kisses on the corners of his mouth, then trace his facial features with my fingertips as I speak.
“Last night was the most incredible night of my life. Do not ever think that I regret one single moment of us. You made it beautiful. You made it perfect.” I peck his nose. “‘You aren’t just a star to me, you are my whole damn sky’,” I recite his love note back to him.
“Jesus, Liz. I needed to hear that so badly.”
“Many more next times, remember.”
“If you don’t want now to be one of those next times, I suggest we get going before I don’t care that we’re in my truck out on the side of the road for any passerby to see.” I giggle and make my way back over the console to my seat.
“You are so sexy,” he murmurs and starts the truck.
I texted Julien when we got to Ruby’s diner and asked if he could join us. He arrived a few minutes ago. We’re all smooshed together in a back booth with Jayson sitting next to me and Ryder and Julien across from us. A feeling of pure joy unfurls around me. It's been a while since the four of us have hung out together, talking, being silly, laughing. The waitress brings our food out — burgers and fries. I haven’t had anything to eat today other than the piece of toast Mom left out for me, so I’m ravenous.
“Pass me the mustard, please.”
Jayson hands me the squeeze bottle and grimaces. I have an addiction that is mustard and fries. I’ll even put mustard on my potato chips. It grosses Jayson out every time. I slather my fry in mustard and pop it into my mouth. “Mmmm. So delicious.”
“Don’t expect me to kiss you after that,” Jayson playfully warns me. I take two fries and dip them into the mustard again and smirk at him.
“Not a problem right now. I’m so hungry, I don’t think your threat of withholding kisses could stop me.”
“Oh, is that a challenge, princess?”
“Mmmhmm.” I grab another fry. Jayson is quick and grabs my wrist before I can hit it with the mustard and pulls it to his mouth, biting my fry in half. “Fry thief!”
Ryder dips his fry in my mustard. “You know, this is actually pretty good.”
“Thank you, Ryder. See?” I stick my tongue out at Jayson.
“I stand by what I said. Now mayo, that’s the thing.”
Julien gags. “Dude, if you start dipping your fries in mayo in front of me, I am going to lose my lunch.” He holds his straw up and fires a wad of paper at Jayson.
“Oh, it’s so on, brother.” Our lunch dissolves into a spitball war and our waitress is none too happy with us based on the scowls she throws our way.
We clean up our mess and finish eating our burgers. “Mom is hinting about a big family vacay for all of us this summer. Pretty sure it’s Hawaii,” I tell them. Ryder reaches over the booth and picks a paper ball out of my hair. “Thank you” I mouth. His foot taps mine under the table.
Jayson’s mouth falls open. “Seriously? That would be awesome.”
“I hate to say that I eavesdropped a little the other night when Mom was video chatting with Freda and Faith. Looks like we’ll be heading to the Big Island in June.”
“Heck yeah!” Julien high fives Jayson. “Surfing the waves in Hawaii will be monstrous compared to the tiny waves we get here on the coast.”
“I can get Maria to help me shop for some new bathing suits,” I think out loud. Two twin groans erupt from Jayson and Ryder and they start laughing. “What? What’s so funny?”
I get pulled into Jayson’s side. “Oh baby. Those are dangerous words.” He leans in close to my ear, “And don’t forget what happened last time you wore your bikini top in front of me.” His words make me shiver. Jayson notices my reaction and smiles broadly.
Julien looks at his phone. “Hey guys. Elijah said there's a party at Fallon’s tonight. We’re invited.”
Jayson looks at me. “You in, princess?”
“I’m in. Are you and Maria coming Ryder?”
He doesn't answer and pushes Julien out of the booth so he can get out. “Thanks for lunch. I need to head back to the garage.”
“I’m sorry we kept you out so long. I’m glad you joined us though.”
“I’m glad too."
"Jules, need a ride to Fallon's tonight?” Jayson asks his brother.
“Sounds good. You want to ride with us?” Julien asks Ryder but he shakes his head no.
Julien texts us the address Elijah sent him. Three phones ping at the same time.
We get up to leave and make sure to tip the waitress extra. I’m looking forward to spending a night partying with my three guys, just like old times. Famous last words as I come to find out later that night.
Chapter 15
Elizabeth
Fallon’s parents’ house is huge. I mean mansion huge. Most of the kids that go to Highland High are from wealthy families, but good gracious, this house is a mini palace. We had to pass through a grand palisade before driving up a half mile private road to get to the house. A large five-tiered fountain cascades water into a lighted reflection pool that is about the size of a swimming pool and sits in the middle of a wide circular drive in front of the massive home. If this is what the driveway looks like, I’m afraid to see the inside.
Ryder, Julien, and Maria meet me and Jayson outside and we walk in together. The smell of beer and smoke hangs thick and acrid in the air. I guess Fallon’s parents are out of town, but what little knowledge of Fallon I have from the boys, he probably wouldn’t care if his parents were here or not and would still throw a party like this. Once we enter the expansive foyer, we collide with a sea of people, some dancing and others drinking from red plastic cups.
“This party is off the charts!” Maria shouts beside me to be heard over the loud, thumping music. I have an utterly different opinionabout the party than my best friend. “Come on Ryder, let’s go get something to drink,” she yells, tugging his arm to pull him away from our group. I just stand there like a deer in headlights clinging to Jayson’s hand. I mean, I’m not a prude, but large party scenes like this just make me very uncomfortable.
�
��I’m good here,” he shouts down at her.
“Ryder,” she whines. “Come on. This is a party. Let’s go have some fun.” She tugs on his arm again.
“Maria, I said I’m good,” he snaps at her. Her face contorts with a hurt expression and she looks between him and me, then back to him.
“I’ll go with you, Mar,” Jayson says and lets go of my hand. “You guys want anything?” We shake our heads no.
“Hey, there you are!” Elijah has to shove some people out of his way to get to us.
“Hey, E. Where’s the beer?” Jayson inquires.
“There’s a keg set up next to the bar and some coolers with other stuff beside it. Straight that way.” Elijah points the way to Jayson as he and Maria disappear into the sea of writhing bodies.
Tapping Julien’s shoulder, Elijah raises his voice so we can hear him. “Follow me guys. We’ll head out back to the patio. It’s quieter and less crowded.” We follow Elijah through the throngs of moving people and one guy grabs my arm trying to pull me to him.
“Hey!” I pull my arm back in protest.
“Back off, man.” Ryder shoves the guy away from me then moves me in front of him and places his hands on my hips to walk us through the dining room and out the door to the patio. I try to find where Jayson and Maria are but don’t see them anywhere. I figure they’ll find us eventually.
“Thanks, Ryder,” I tell him.
“What a douchebag.”
“You alright, Liz?” Julien sits down on the plush patio outdoor sofa and pulls me next to him. Elijah and Ryder sit down next to us and Julien starts to rub my back up and down in soothing circles. There are groups scattered around on the patio and the backyard, but Elijah was right — it’s much quieter out here.
“Just a drunk guy getting grabby. I’m fine.”
Elijah grimaces. “I’m so sorry, Liz. I should have texted you or Julien after I got here to let you know how crazy it was. Fallon throws some big parties, but this is insane.”