by J. L. Wyer
Fallon stands up and pats Ryder’s shoulder. “We were just talking, man. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”
Fallon steps to the side to walk around me and Ryder, but stops beside me. “You want to continue our conversation, you know where to find me.”
We watch as he walks back around the side of the house into the darkness.
“What was that about, Elizabeth?”
I really don’t know, honestly. “Nothing. He was just messing with me. You know how he is,” I reply, hoping Ryder will drop it, but of course I’m not that lucky.
“You need to be careful when you're around Fallon.” After that encounter, I completely agree. However, my curiosity is piqued. As strangely bizarre as I think Fallon is, he intrigues me. Question is, am I willing to play his games?
“You hang out with him, right?”
“Yeah, but our friendship is complicated to say the least.”
Deciding it’s best to drop the subject, I ask him, “You said you had something you wanted to tell me. Oh! Julien has good news, but I won’t spoil it and will let him tell you. Would you mind driving him home so Jayson and I can leave?”
“Yeah, I can do that. Why are you guys leaving? I just got here.”
“I’m not up to partying tonight,” is all I say. Ryder nudges me to sit back down on the porch swing with him.
“I feel there’s more to that than you’re letting on.”
“Too many bad memories,” I reply, knowing he'll understand. Ryder tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, his gaze understanding. “So, what did you want to talk about?” I ask again.
“I broke up with Maria.”
Well, that came out of left field. Maria hasn’t said a word to me about it. Actually, Maria hasn’t responded to any of my texts or calls and now I know why.
“What happened, Ryder?”
He exhales and closes his eyes. “Things weren’t going anywhere. I tried, but she’s just not the one for me. I don’t love her. I never will. She needs to be free to find someone who will love her and give her what she needs. I’m not that person.”
“I’m so sorry,” I hear myself say. Well, kind of, but not really. And thinking that makes me feel guilty. I feel like it’s my fault, that I’m to blame for their breakup.
Ryder and I seem to have this push-pull between us, like we’re stuck on opposite ends of a bungee cord and the farther we try to run away, the stronger the snap back is toward each other. Jayson wants to plan a life, a future with me. How can I truly commit to that future when part of me is still in love with Ryder? The way I feel isn't fair to Ryder. It’s not fair to Jayson.
“What are we doing, Ryder?”
“I wish I knew, Elizabeth,” he says with a sigh as we stare at each other.
A door bangs open and the music and noise from inside the house spills out as Jayson and Julien step out onto the porch.
“There you are.” Jayson notices Ryder next to me. “We’ve been waiting on you, man. When’d you get here?”
“Just now. Saw Elizabeth. Heard you had some good news, Jules.”
“So, so good news. CU offered me a full ride.”
“Julien, you’re so drunk.” Jayson laughs at him while keeping him from toppling over.
“I know. Isn’t it awesome?”
“Whatever you say, brother. You're not going to think it's so awesome in the morning. No more, okay. Mom and Dad will flip their lid if Ryder brings you home like this.”
Ryder takes Julien’s arm. “I’ve got him. He won’t drink anymore tonight. I promise. Congratulations, Jules. You deserve it.”
“Yes, I do!” Julien hiccups and makes a face. “That tastes awful.”
“Let’s see if we can’t get you some coffee. I’m sure Curtis has some somewhere.”
“You ready to go, baby girl?” Jayson asks me.
Yes, I nod emphatically. “I’m driving though. Give me your keys.” I hold my hand out. I give a hug to Julien but when I go to hug Ryder goodbye, he presses his cheek against mine. Those silly little butterflies start flapping their wings in my stomach at Ryder's closeness.
“Good night, Elizabeth.”
“Goodnight, Ryder.” He helps Julien back inside and they disappear into the house.
“Where to, princess? Want to grab a late dinner?”
“Chili dogs. My treat.”
We get in his truck and buckle up. “No onions.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m having you for dessert, sweet girl.”
I'm woken up from a deep sleep by a noise. I crack my eyes open and see the bright red numbers of my alarm clock show that it’s three in the morning. After our late-night hotdog dinner, Jayson and I snuck up into my room to fool around before we both fell into an exhausted sleep. I hear the noise again. It sounds like crying. I try to turn over to get out of bed, but Jayson pulls me back to him.
“Go back to sleep, Liz,” he murmurs into his pillow.
“I think Hailey is crying. I’m going to take a quick peek into her room.”
Jayson lifts his head up. “I don’t hear anything.”
His hand moves down to splay over my stomach and I forget what I was talking to him about. Oh, right. “I swear I heard crying.”
I cock my head to listen but there’s no other sound other than the sound of my sheets rustling as Jayson rolls me over to face him.
“I thought you said I had to go back to sleep,” I tease him.
“Not sleepy anymore.”
He rolls over on top of me. The only sounds now are the hushed tones of our kiss.
Chapter 18
Elizabeth
Instead of going to our morning breakfast meet-up before school, I tell the guys I’m going with Hailey this morning so we can track down Maria. She’s ghosted me for days and I’m starting to wonder if she’s mad at me or just upset about her break-up with Ryder. I could see things weren’t good between them lately, but I’m her friend and would like to be there for her.
“Mom! Did you sign that permission slip for school yet?” Hailey yells from upstairs. I take a bite of my muffin.
I hear Mom mumble “oh crap.”
“Signing it right now, sweetheart. Lizzie, where’s a pen?” I take one out of my bag from the floor at my feet and hand it to her. “Do you remember where I put the permission slip?”
“Table in the entryway.”
“Thanks, honey.” She runs out of the kitchen.
“Hales, we need to leave. Come on slowpoke!”
“Coming, Geesh!” I hear her yell back, feet stomping down the stairs. She has a black hair band in her teeth and then loops it around her hair. I take a moment to mentally critique what she’s wearing. Long capri pants and a long-sleeved button-down shirt.
“You know, it’s still like eighty degrees outside. You may want to lose the top. You’ll be sweating buckets as soon as we walk out the door.”
“Nah, I’m good.” She slides on her shoes and grabs a muffin. “Okay, I’m ready.”
Mom meets us at the door and hands Hailey her permission slip. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Be good girls,” Mom kisses both of us. “Hailey, are you picking Lizzie up from work today?”
“Jayson’s got me," I tell her. "See ya, Mom!”
I throw my bag into the back of our sedan as Hailey asks me, “So, how are we doing this? Ambush style or straight up gangsta?”
“I vote ambush style. Maria’s been avoiding me. She usually gets to school around seven and helps out in the main office. We should be able to corner her there and find out why she's been avoiding me.”
“You still don’t know why she hasn’t spoken to you? That’s not like her. You guys are almost as joined at the hip and you and Jayson.”
“I have a pretty good suspicion as to why.”
Hailey shovels the rest of her muffin in her mouth as she drives. “And?” she says when she is able to swallow. My sister is like a Hoover vacuum when it comes to food.
“
She and Ryder broke up.”
“And what? You think she blames you? That’s nonsense.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. Look, I’m your sister and have had the pleasure of living with you my whole life. That also means I have had the pleasure of growing up around Jayson, Julien, and Ryder. I know the deal when it comes to all of you. But I also know that you and Ryder and you and Julien have not once crossed the line with each other since you and Jay hooked up.”
I grimace and her eyes get big. “Or have you?”
“Technically, no. Lines have not been crossed but they have come pretty close a couple of times with Ryder.”
“Close is not crossed.”
“I don’t know, Hales.”
“Exactly. You don’t know. So let’s go find out.” We pull into the senior lot at school and I immediately see Maria’s car.
“Good. She’s here. Want to be Riggs to my Murtaugh?” I ask her referring to the buddy-cop movie, Lethal Weapon.
“I think we’re more Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne from Dumb and Dumber.”
We both laugh. “You’re saying I’m dumb but you’re dumber? I can handle that.”
Just as I thought, Maria is in the main office working the copier machine. She started volunteering her time to help out at school this year thinking it will look good on her high school transcript that colleges will see. Our school requires we complete at least one hundred volunteer hours in order to graduate and get our diploma. My time working at the library doesn’t count since I get paid, but twice a month the boys and I go out and help pick up litter and plant trees at local parks. Periodically, I also sing and play music for the younger kids at the library on the weekend. I take Dr. Seuss books and put them to music. The kids are so freaking adorable because, of course, they know the words to every Dr. Seuss book and will jump around and sing the words with me.
Hailey waits outside the main office doors on a bench as I go inside. Mrs. Teasdale, the school receptionist, greets me with a smile.
“Good morning, Elizabeth. Did you need anything this morning?”
Maria turns to look at me, first with shock and then with what I think is a pissed-off expression on her face.
“Good morning, Mrs. Teasdale. No, ma’am. I actually came by to talk to Maria for a second if that’s alright.”
“Of course, dear. Maria, I can take over until you get back.” Maria doesn’t argue and warily walks around the counter toward me.
“Hey, Mar. Did you want to go outside or something so we can talk?”
She shrugs. “Fine.”
We walk out and she sees Hailey at the bench. “Great. You’re tag teaming.” She plops down on the bench, arms crossed, looking defensive.
“What’s going on Mar? Why have you been avoiding me the past few days?”
She scoffs at me. “Like you don’t already know.”
“No, I really don’t. That’s why we’re here. You're my best friend, Mar. Please talk to me.”
She scoffs again, then huffs, crosses her legs one way, then another. “Okay. Fine. Ryder broke up with me.”
“He told me. I’m so sorry.”
“Of course he told you,” she snaps at me. "You were probably the first person he ran to to share the good news."
Hailey jumps in. “Hey. Cut it out. Why are you mad at Lizzie? She didn’t do anything.”
Now Maria snaps at Hailey. “Are you kidding me right now,Hailey? It’s always been about her. She's dating Jay, and Ryder’s still in love with her. He still wants her. I never stood a chance.”
“Mar,” I say, wanting to both defend myself and be an understanding friend.
She turns her anger on me again. “Don’t Mar me. Do you know how it feels to fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you back because he’s still in love with someone else? Do you know how that feels, Liz?” She jumps up and shakes her finger at me. Several students walking by slow down to watch our scene unfold.
“You chose Jayson. The day Ryder asked me out, that was the happiest day of my life. I was like, finally, he saw me. He saw me, not you. I have bent over backwards trying to make him happy, to make him want me. I was an idiot. He never wanted me. I was just a distraction for him while he continued to pine away for you!”
“That’s not fair! I’m not responsible for your relationship problems.”
“You’ll never understand. You have those three boys wrapped around your finger. Their princess. Isn’t that right? You’re a selfish bitch who keeps stringing Ryder along. You want everything and have to give up nothing.” Her verbal knives hit their target. Have I really been doing what she’s accusing me of?
“That’s enough, Maria,” Hailey grabs her arm. “You don’t know anything. Ryder, Julien, Jayson, and Lizzie have been best friends since they were little.”
“Jesus, not this again. You forget, Hailey, that I’ve been around too since the third grade. I know all about their ‘special bond,’” she replies sarcastically using air quotes.
“Yes, they do have a special bond. Something that existed way before you and Lizzie started hanging out and became friends. Something unique and special and I would give anything if I could find something like that. But am I jealous of my sister because she has something that I would love to have too? Absolutely not! You’re the one being a petty, selfish bitch. Not her. I can guarantee you that nothing has ever happened between her and Ryder. So if Ryder wants to dump you, that’s on him, not her. And if you believe otherwise, you don’t deserve her friendship.”
Wow. Hailey’s passionate speech in defense of me takes me by surprise. Not as surprising as what comes out of Maria’s mouth next.
“That’s fine with me." She turns to me. "We’re no longer friends, Liz."
She storms back into the main office. I can see Mrs. Teasdale looking between the both of us, concern on her face, but she says nothing to Maria when she stalks back over to the copier machine.
“What just happened?” I ask Hailey, and then I burst into tears. Hailey pulls me up off the bench and tells me we’re going to the girl’s restroom to wash my face. I look through the office window at Maria, but she won’t look at me.
Hailey notices a few of the onlookers have their cell phones out. “Enjoy the show?” she snarls at them.
Wonderful. I’m sure this will be posted online before the first bell rings and I’ll have to put up with snickers and nasty comments all day. Jayson and Ryder are going to be livid.
We go inside the restroom and thankfully, it’s empty. Hailey tears off a paper towel, wets it, and hands it to me.
“Thanks.”
I rub underneath my eyes to get the mascara smears off. I don’t wear a lot of makeup, so once I no longer have raccoon eyes, I apply some lip gloss and wash my hands.
“Screw her, Lizzie. Just screw her. That was the biggest pile of denial bullcrap I have ever heard.”
“She’s my best friend, Hales. I didn’t know she was so angry with me. Why didn’t she come talk to me if she was feeling insecure about Ryder? I don’t understand. I have always supported her relationship with Ryder. I may have not liked it at times, but I supported it.” Fabulous. More tears. I rip another paper towel off and dab the corners of my eyes.
“Real friends don’t treat each other that way. Could you imagine what you would do if Brea did that to me?”
“I’d kick her butt even if she is Ryder’s sister.”
“Exactly. Be lucky I didn’t do just that.”
“Hopefully she’ll come around,” I say.
“Maybe. But if she doesn’t, it’s not on you. I know how you love to shoulder the blame. This is not one of those times. You did nothing wrong.”
My phone rings and I see Jayson’s name. My voice is a bit throaty from crying when I answer. “Hey.”
“Are you at school right now?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m with the guys at Ruby’s. You’re on speaker. Please tell me what we just saw did not happen.”
> Well, that was fast. Sometimes I hate cell phones and modern technology. I say nothing, so Hailey pipes in. “Yes, it did. Ryder, what are you going to do about it?”
“I’ll deal with it.” I can hear the anger in his voice when he says it.
“We’re on our way, Liz. Hales, take her back out to the car and wait for us.”
“On it.”
“I love you, baby. Everything’s going to be okay. Be there soon.”
“Okay.” I reply and he hangs up.
“Come on, sis. Let’s go wait for your boys.”
Jayson
I miss Liz this morning, but I understand. Maria has been ignoring her and Liz wants to find out why.
“Can I get you guys anything else?” our waitress, Pauline, asks us.
“Could you bring a black coffee and bag up a cinnamon scone to go, please?” I order Liz's favorites so I can take it to her. If she’s already eaten, she can save the scone for lunch. I know she’ll drink the coffee immediately.
“Sure can, hon. Be right back.”
Julien is sitting next to me today and Ryder is sitting across from me. “So hot topic for the day. I know you broke up with Maria and all, but what gives?”
“Wasn’t going anywhere so broke up with her. End of story.”
Julien pours syrup over his French toast. “So why is she ghosting Liz?”
Ryder rubs his hand over his face and scratches his head. “Beats the heck out of me.”
“I thought things were going good with you two.” This from Julien whose mouth is full of food.
“I always thought she was a bit odd. Too loud and obnoxious for me,” I tell him. “No offense.”
“None taken.”
“What gives then? Did you cheat on her? She cheat on you? People usually don’t break up for no reason.”
“Of course I didn’t cheat on her, Jay. You know me better than that, man.”
The waitress drops off my to-go order and Julien pays the check.
Ryder crumples up his napkin and throws in on the table. “She was getting clingy and wanting more. I couldn’t give it to her.” He flicks his gaze at me then away. “She started saying stuff about Elizabeth and I got fed up with all of it, so I dumped her.”