by Jacob Chance
Eliza jumps up and down squealing like I won the lottery. “Get your laptop out. We’re making your profile right this minute. No ifs ands or buts about it. Chop, chop.”
Grabbing my laptop from my room, I set it up on our table. We both crowd together, shoulder to shoulder as we go through the steps of setting up my fake profile.
“I need a name.” I tap my lips with my index finger. “Sally? Marie?”
“Diane,” Eliza offers.
“I like it. Now a last name. Smith? Jones?”
Eliza leans forward, focusing on the slot designated for a last name. “Johnson? No.” She shakes her head answering her own question. Her eyes light up as she sits up straight. “Hamilton.”
“Hmm, Hamilton. That could work. Diane Hamilton. Sounds like a nice girl and no one will suspect it’s me.” I type the last name in the slot and enter the rest of the needed information. We make up an address and phone number and set up an email account for Diane. It says winner will be notified by email so we had to use a legitimate one. “I need a hot profile picture. We can look on stock sites. I use them for my articles sometimes.” I pull up my favorite one and type in sexy female. Two hundred pages of images come up. I scroll down through three pages before I come to the one I like. It’s a picture of a brunette with sunglasses on reading a book on the beach. She’s gorgeous and studious. Perfect.
“Now for the bidding.” Perri rubs her hands together.
I scroll down the page and we look over the existing ones. Eight hundred dollars is the most that’s been offered, so I place a bid for one thousand dollars and hope that will get the job done.
“This is so exciting.” Eliza dances in her chair.
“And nerve wracking too.” I rub my permanently upset stomach. I haven’t felt well since New Year’s Eve. This situation with Nolan has made me an anxious mess. Not even dancing has helped and that’s the one thing that always seems to help me forget my troubles. But Nolan’s not one of my troubles. He’s so much more significant than that. Losing him is like losing a limb. He’s become part of my everyday existence and I like him there. If the past few days have taught me anything it’s that I don’t want to be without him anymore. And he can be my best friend, but he’s going to be my boyfriend first.
“The next twenty-four hours are going to drag. What do you want to do to stay busy and keep your mind off the auction?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure anything will help.”
“How about tomorrow we have a girls’ day? All our favorite movies and snacks?”
“That might help a little.” I smile. “I love you, Eliza. You’re the best, cuz.”
“Was there ever any doubt?”
In between movies, Eliza and I check the auction. There’s only one more hour until it ends and then an email is to be sent out informing the winner. All we can do is wait and hope for the best.
“What are you going to say when Nolan finds out Diane is really you?”
“Surprise? I told him I was working tonight so he won’t be expecting me to take part in it anyway.”
Eliza snorts, “He might pass out from excitement.”
“He might be disappointed.”
“Trust me, that’s the last thing he’ll be.”
“I’m nervous.”
“About what?”
“This is a big step. Do I have time for a boyfriend? And what if he doesn’t want me as a girlfriend? What if I bare my soul to him and he tells me he only wants to be friends?”
“Do you honestly think he’s going to say no?”
I chew on my bottom lip. “He seemed as happy to spend time with me as I was with him. He kissed me like someone who wanted more than sex, but maybe I’m reading into it because it’s what I want. It’s hard to be objective when you’re invested in the outcome.”
Eliza glances at the clock. “You only have forty-five minutes left now. So let’s enjoy the rest of the pizza and have some more wine.”
“I can do that.”
We head into the kitchen and I add some pizza slices to our plates while Eliza tops off our wine glasses. At the rate I’m drinking, I might not care who wins the auction. This is the second bottle we’ve dipped into.
“What’s Owen doing tonight?”
“He’s at the frat with the guys. He said they were having an auction party for Nolan. I’m sure they’re practically pouring shots down the poor guy’s throat. He won’t even be conscious by the time the auction ends. But I guess if he doesn’t know most of the people bidding it won’t matter to him who wins. I can’t wait until he finds out you’re Diane. Oh to be a fly on that wall.”
“Let’s go sit on the couch. I need to watch something to distract me. Talking about this is making me more nervous.”
We carry our pizza and wine into the living room and Eliza turns on an episode of The Challenge. The politics and backstabbing on the show keep me entertained and helps the time pass. I check the auction when there’s five minutes left and I’m still the highest bidder. Now I can relax. Surely, if someone was going to bid they’d have done it by now.
We finish watching The Challenge and clean up our plates and glasses. I check the auction one more time, refreshing the page and let out a strangled gasp when I see that someone has outbid me.
“Oh no,” I wail. Eliza comes running over.
“What’s wrong?”
“Someone outbid me.”
“How is that possible? You checked it right up to the last minutes.”
“Yep, but Valentine Martinez, whoever the fuck that is, offered fifteen hundred.” I fall into the wooden seat at the table as the tears start to flow. Eliza sits next to me and wraps her arm around my shoulders. “Fuck,” I sniffle, resting my forehead in my palms. “I guess we weren’t meant to be after all.”
Eliza squeezes me closer. “Don’t say that. Wait and see what happens. Maybe he won’t go through with it.”
“How’s he going to avoid it? Someone promised fifteen hundred dollars for him.”
“I don’t know, but have some faith.”
“At least the amount she put was more than I could’ve come up with. There was no way for me to beat her.”
“Look, you need to hang in there because this will all be over tomorrow night. And then you guys can talk things over.”
“This is all my own fault. I should’ve told him how I felt when I was in Vermont. Instead, I acted distant because I didn’t want to get hurt. And what good did it do me? My heart’s still going to break.”
“This is just a bump in the road.” Eliza rubs my back.
“Are you crazy? This is a mountain to overcome. I don’t see how it will work out between us now. I’m going to cut my losses and avoid all guys for the rest of college.” Pushing back my chair, I rise. “I’m going to go to bed. Maybe if I can get some sleep, I’ll feel better about this situation.”
Who am I kidding? There is no feeling better about this.
Eliza has been my shadow all day. She made me eat breakfast and take a shower. I told her I’m not leaving the house for the next five days so I didn’t need to look clean, but she wouldn’t hear it.
I barely slept at all last night and the proof is beneath my eyes for all to see. I look like a raccoon. No, that’s too cute. I look like I’ve been on a week long bender. I’m lazing around like I have been too. I’ve been lying on the couch all day. My motivation has completely left me. Thankfully, I’ve got tonight off from work because I don’t know how I’d drag myself in there, otherwise. I may love my job, but I’m in the midst of a personal crisis. This is why I avoid falling for any guys and I’ve been mostly successful up to this point.
“What do you want for dinner, Perri?” Eliza calls from the kitchen.
“What time is it? Didn’t we just just eat breakfast?”
“It’s almost five.”
“What the hell?” I grumble sitting up. Rubbing my pounding temples, I try to soothe the ache behind my eyes. This is the after effect of cry
ing.
My phone buzzes on the table beside the couch and my stomach jumps with hope as I pick it up that it might be Nolan. Staring down at the screen, I frown when I see it’s the editor from the school paper.
“Hello.”
“Perri, I need you to do something for me,” Carl barks into my ear.
“Okay, what’s up?”
“I need you to go to the Park Plaza in an hour and interview Nolan Archer.” My stomach clenches uneasily at the mention of his name.
“No. No way.”
“Perri, I wouldn’t be asking this of you if I wasn’t desperate. I know you filled in covering sports for me when you weren’t looking for that much responsibility and I appreciate it. You’re a team player and that’s one of the things I like best about you.”
“Spare me the buttering up. I’m not dumb. I know what you’re doing.”
“Is it working? Perri, I need you to help me. Please. This auction is a big deal. No one seems to be talking about it and if we can break the story it would be huge.”
“Fine, I’ll do the interview, but I don’t want to be credited for the article. You can take credit for it.”
“We can talk about that later. Right now you need to get yourself to the Park Plaza, room five hundred twelve.”
“Whoa. Wait a minute. You want me to go to the room where everything is taking place?”
“I do and I want pictures too.”
“This is insane.”
“Come on. I’m counting on you.” Carl coaxes.
“Fine. But this is the last thing I’m doing for a long time. I’ll write my monthly article as alway, but no extras.”
“You got it. Email the article for tomorrow morning.”
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.” I can hear the laughter in his tone and he’s right. I don't hate him.
“Bye,” I mutter as I hang up and bury my head in my hands.
“What’s wrong?” Eliza walks over to sit next to me.
“Carl wants me to go to the Park Plaza and interview Nolan before the big moment.”
“What?” she gasps. “Did you tell him no?”
I shake my head. “I said I’d do it.”
“What are you thinking?”
“I’m not, I guess. I feel numb. But seeing him about to sleep with someone else will make it easier to end whatever this is. I can get some closure and move on from him.”
“When do you need to go?”
“Right now.” I stand and shove my phone into the pocket on my yoga pants.
“Do you want company?”
“No, this is something I need to do by myself. I love you for asking though.”
“Call me if you need anything. I’ll be here.” She rises to her feet.
I pull her into a hug and rock her back and forth. “You’re too good to me,” I tell her as I take a step back.
“Can I offer a little advice?”
“Sure.”
“You might want to change out of your slippers and brush your hair before you go.” I reach up and feel the loop on top of my head.
I smile. “Thanks. I think I’ll do that.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Perri
My heart pounds so forcefully, I can feel it in my chest. I’m sweating in my hoodie and scarf and it’s only thirty degrees outside. The walk from the front entrance of the hotel to the elevator feels like I’m in slow motion. My eyes take in all the holiday decorations. There’s a ten foot tree in one corner and poinsettias sit on every flat surface. The scent of pine, heavy in the air, tickles my nose.
I push the button to call the elevator and wait with a sinking stomach. I can’t believe Carl got me to agree to this. Am I a glutton for punishment? Or am I that desperate to see Nolan one more time? Do I think that I can change his mind? Or make him have second thoughts? I’m not sure what my motivation is, I only know that I felt compelled to come here. And so, here I am.
The steel doors part and I step inside. I push the number five and close my eyes until the door opens on Nolan’s floor. Stepping out into the hallway, I pause and take a few calming breaths.
You can do this. You need to do this. This is the closure you’re looking for. I coach myself all the way to his door, but I still feel as though I could pass out at any second. There’s a low buzzing in my ears and my knees feel wobbly like they won’t support me much longer.
My knuckles meet the steel and I wait. A trickle of sweat runs down the middle of my back and I focus on the slow rolling sensation to distract me from what’s to come.
The door opens and Nolan stands in front of me wearing a black tuxedo and a smile. He’s fucking gorgeous and he smells amazing. His blue eyes shine down at me and his dimple is out and in full effect. He’s perfect and I want to cry. Scratch that. I do cry. Big, blubbery tears roll down my cheeks and I can’t seem to stop them no matter how hard I try. This is not how I wanted to react. I wanted to show him how unaffected I was by him. But I can’t, because I am. I’m completely fucking affected by him. From the top of my head all the way to my toes.
I’m pathetic.
Nolan looks alarmed at my reaction. He catches my hand and pulls me into the room, closing us inside. “Hey, don’t cry.”
“I can’t… h...help it,” I stutter. He pulls me into his arms, with my runny nose pressed to his chest. I hope I get snot on his jacket and Valentine will be repulsed by him. But who would be repulsed by him? He’s… Nolan.
“Come with me.” He takes my hand and leads me through the room. We pass a rose petal strewn bed and a sob leaves me as images of him and some faceless bombshell rolling around on them assault my mind. He directs me to take a seat on a small couch and I comply. He sits and angles himself toward me, until our knees touch. Still holding my hand, he rests it on his leg.
“There are so many things I want to say to you. I’m not sure where to begin.” The tip of his tongue darts out to moisten his bottom lip. “Why have you shut me out this week? I’ve missed you.”
“I was protecting myself. I knew you might end up having sex with another girl and thinking about it made me sick to my stomach.”
“Why didn’t you tell me not to go through with it?”
“You acted like you had no choice.”
“We always have a choice, Perri.”
“Then why did you go through with it? I set up an account and tried to win, but someone else beat me at the last minute.” The tears start to flow again, one after another. An endless stream of regret and sadness.
“You bid on me?” He grins.
“Yes, but I lost.”
“But you still wanted to win and you tried to. That’s all that matters.”
“No, it’s not. I didn’t win. Valentine Martinez did. And now she’s going to be your first instead of me.”
He cups my face in his hands and forces me to look at him. “I’m Valentine Martinez.”
“Huh?” What’s he talking about?
“I set that account up and bid on myself for you. I don’t want to be with anyone but you, Perri.”
“You did? You did all that for me?”
“Yes. I’m crazy about you. You’re all I think about.”
“I feel the same. I’ve been sick all week without you.”
“How could you think I’d go through with it? Don’t you know me at all? I realize we weren’t honest with each other about our feelings, but we spent enough time together that you should’ve known who I was as a person.”
“I’m sorry. I should have believed in you, but I let my own insecurity get the best of me. I should’ve opened up to you in Vermont and this wouldn’t have happened.”
He leans forward, clasping my hand between his. “I love you, Perri Benson. I don’t want you to ever doubt us again.”
I smile and throw myself against his chest, climbing into his lap. “I love you too, Nolan Archer. And no other girl is ever going to touch you.”
He chuckles, “I’m good with that
as long as you touch me. Often.” He winks.
“There’s something else I haven’t told you.”
He frowns. “What?”
“I’ve never had sex.”
“What?” he yelps.
“I’m a virgin.”
“How is that possible? I mean, look at you.”
“I’ve been waiting for the right guy to come along.”
“And has he?”
“Yep, but my patience is running out. I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”
“Conveniently, we have this room. What do you think of making the most of it?”
I run my fingers through the sides of his hair. “I love this brain of yours almost as much as your hot body.”
He stands with me in his arms. “I don’t know how much this brain is functioning right now. All the blood has left my head.” He walks with me over to the edge of the bed.
“It left your big head for your little head,” I giggle.
“Hey.” He acts wounded, but smiles mischievously.
“What are you going to… ah.” He throws me onto the bed and I bounce up and down. “That was fun. Can you do it again?”
He strips his tuxedo jacket off and throws it on the chair in the corner. “Maybe later. Right now, I want you naked. Strip.” He tugs at his bow tie, removing it before he undoes each of the buttons on his shirt.
I get so caught up watching him, I forget that I’m supposed to be removing my clothes. I kick off my boots and socks. Unwrapping the scarf, I hook it over the headboard and aim a wink at Nolan. His eyes go wide when he catches my meaning and he palms his dick through his pants.
“Fuck. I want you so bad.” He peels his shirt from his arms, revealing his impressive torso. Broad shoulders taper to a lean waist. Six pack abs bunch and flex beneath his skin with every breath he takes.
I tear my hoodie and t-shirt over my head leaving me naked from the waist up.
“You didn’t have a bra on.” He states.