“Yeah, but to hide what I am? What if I have kids? Fuck, what about my sisters’ kids?”
“The binding is a blood ritual. Your sisters’ children probably had the spell passed to them through the blood. And your sisters probably mated men who are not versipelli. Their children would have only a fifty percent chance of being able to shift anyway. That spell was so strong, you nearly died when Sal accidently broke the binding.”
Brandon just sat there, shaking his head. The lengths to which his parents had gone to allow him to live the life he had now, it amazed him.
He remembered being a teenager and practically crawling the walls to be able to get away from his no-stoplight town. Hockey had been his savior. For others, it’d been college.
“Guess their plan worked. Shit, I couldn’t wait to leave.”
He was still shaking his head when he realized what Lucy had said. He turned to look at her and she met his gaze straight on.
“Wait, what do you mean, broke the binding?”
“Exactly what I said. When Sal… pierced you with the blade, he disrupted the spell. You can now access your berserkir powers. Since I don’t know much about berserkir, I think you might want to call or go visit your parents.”
“I’ve got games.”
She dropped her gaze for several seconds before taking a deep breath and lifting her head, as if it was so hard to do.
“I don’t think you’re going to be able to play, Brandon. At least not for a few weeks. You’re going to need time to adjust—”
He blinked at her, stunned. “Weeks? I can’t be out weeks.”
Jesus, just the thought of missing Thursday’s game gave him a case of the shakes.
Lucy’s expression had turned stony. “You’ll have to tell your coach you’ve had a family emergency—”
“No, no way—”
“—and you had to leave immediately. Tell them your father’s had a heart attack, tell them your mother’s come down with a deadly disease. You can’t get on the ice until you know how this is going to affect you.”
“What do you mean, affect me?”
But he already knew. He could feel the change deep inside. Almost like a coal smoldering in his gut. Earlier, when he’d fucked her against the wall…
“You’ll need to test yourself, see what your limits are,” Lucy said. “How hard you can throw a punch. You already had a killer slap shot. Now, you might literally be able to take someone’s head off with it. If you get into a fight with someone, you won’t be able to control your claws. Not yet. It’s going to take time for you to master everything that being a berserkir means.”
He froze as another thought occurred to him. “Am I going to change into a bear? A real fucking bear with fur and fangs and…”
Holy fucking shit. His brain had gotten stuck on that image and now it wouldn’t release him. Could he handle that? Or would he freak out and have to be put in a cell for freaked-out werebears?
He felt a laugh bubble in his chest, but in his head he knew it sounded kind of scary so he tried to suppress it.
“No, you won’t.” She reached for him then, put her hand on his arm, and suddenly he could think clearly again. He put his hand over hers so she couldn’t get away and take his sanity with him. “Do you remember what Sal said earlier? About how the berserkir had evolved? You won’t become a bear but you will take on some of their traits. The claws, the fangs, the strength. You will learn to control them, but until then you’ll need to lie low. Sal’s promised to help. And I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”
Was that guilt he heard in her voice? “Lucy, why do I get the feeling you’re not too thrilled about this? I did this for you—”
“But I gave you no choice!”
He frowned. “What? What the hell are you talking about? I told Sal—”
“I should have known something would go wrong.” Releasing him, she got up to pace. The second her hand left his, he felt that spark, that flare of heat and… aggression. Yeah, that was the word he was looking for. Aggression.
He gripped the side of the mattress, forcing himself to stay on the bed, not to run her to the ground or grab her arm and throw her down on the bed every time she passed by him.
“Sal broke the binding. We can’t replace it, can’t fix it. We can’t put you back to the way you were.” She stopped to take a deep breath. “Your life will never be the same, and this is all my fault.”
He shook his head, trying to see it from her angle, but there was a little part of his brain that kept telling him she was right. This was her fault. He’d never play hockey again. He’d be a freak and an outcast.
All her fault.
With a growl, he grabbed her arms, yanking her to him then flipping her onto the mattress beneath him and covering her with his body.
And she let him. She didn’t fight him, didn’t yell at him or tell him to get off. Which meant he was in way more trouble than he’d thought.
He opened his mouth to tell her, again, that this wasn’t her fault… and decided to show her instead.
Bending down to her, he kissed her. He let himself revel in the heat and the taste of her. Her scent tangled around his fast-growing lust and he pried open her unresponsive lips and plundered her mouth.
She let him kiss her, let him take what he wanted. And it pissed him off even more.
He didn’t want her docile. Fucking her into submission was different than having her just give in.
Swinging his leg over her, he planted his knees on either side of her hips and held himself above her, trapping her beneath him.
He almost thought she wouldn’t meet his gaze, but she did, and now he really could see the guilt in those stormy gray eyes.
Stealing another kiss, he drew back so he could see her entire face.
“You still don’t get it, do you?” he said. “You still don’t understand that this is what I wanted. I want to be strong. I want to be what you need.”
She shook her head. “But I never wanted to have the choice taken away from you. I—We almost lost you during the ritual. You almost died when the spell broke. You didn’t…”
She bit her lips and drew in a shaky breath. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her hands clench into fists. “I cannot live my life like this. I can’t.”
Frustration made his voice sharper than he wanted. “And how have you been living your life all these years? Have you let anyone get close to you? Ever? You act like nothing affects you. But when I touch you, you burn, baby. Don’t you wonder why that is? Huh?”
Lucy didn’t have to wonder. She knew. She loved him. She’d been half in love with him before she’d ever met him. Ridiculous but true.
And now that she’d had him, she knew why she’d never allowed herself to fall in love. Because the loss would be too great for her to bear. She’d become so damn weak in the past few centuries. Yes, she’d been protecting her lucani as best she could. The only way she knew how.
But then this man had skated onto the ice and she’d lost her heart. Just another weakness she couldn’t afford. And one she didn’t want to give up.
Staring into his beautiful eyes, she lifted one hand to trace the slightly crooked nose then let her finger brush across those talented lips.
“I don’t need to wonder.” She pressed against his lips and he sucked her finger into his mouth. The wet warmth of his tongue made shivers dance up her spine. “I know exactly why.”
She loved the feel of his mouth on her skin. Wanted more than anything to be able to forget her responsibilities, to toss caution to the wind and simply love him.
Hated that in three short days, he’d become more important to her than protecting her people.
She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t give him what he wanted and remain strong enough to keep her lucani safe. But neither could she give him up, not after what he’d sacrificed for her.
She lifted her head to press her lips against his, felt his hesitation just before he gave in and kissed her
back.
Blessed Goddess, she was selfish. Winding her arms around his neck, she brought him closer.
He held back for a few seconds, as if to proclaim his dominance, and that was okay. She could allow him some power, particularly here. In bed.
She needed to show him that he wasn’t merely her plaything. That he held an equal amount of power in this aspect of their relationship.
He kissed her until she could barely breathe, then he moved, getting off the bed to stand by the side. Startled, she just stared at him.
“I’ve got to call the coach, tell him… Hell, I’ll tell him I have a family emergency and need to head home for a few days. We don’t have a game until Thursday. We’ve got time to figure this out. Okay?”
Sitting up, she nodded, willing her brain to stillness instead of rushing through thoughts at breakneck speed. He was right in this. No decisions needed to be made at this moment.
***
Lucy left Brandon alone in the bedroom to make his phone calls while she headed out to find some hot chocolate.
She knew Sal had made some, she could smell it, and right now, she would sell her firstborn son for a mug. Ty would understand. He let her get away with murder.
Following a short hall, she found herself back in the common area of Cole’s home in the den. He had another property several miles away where he actually lived but this served as his headquarters.
Comfortable furniture, an open floor plan in the main living areas and enough decorative touches to make it feel welcoming to anyone raised in the Etruscan ways. Or who’d lived through the heyday of the Etruscans. Like her. Her lucani were nothing if not loyal.
She’d expected to find only Sal in the kitchen at the back of the house. She paused halfway through the entrance when she realized it wasn’t Sal.
“Ty? What are you doing here?”
He looked at her with eyes the color of his father’s, a blue so dark it looked almost black, the exact shade of the sky at full dark with no moon and the sun nowhere close to rising.
They looked so much like his father’s that she’d tried to disguise them when he’d been a baby so no one would ever suspect whose child he was. So he wouldn’t be a target.
“Should be obvious.” He shrugged, broad shoulders moving under the black cotton T-shirt emblazoned with the name of another band. Her son had a thing for music. Something he’d gotten from her. Thank the Blessed Mother Goddess, he’d gotten most of his traits from her. “I’m checking on you.”
“I’m fine.”
He snorted and stood to pour her a huge mug of chocolate from the pot on the stove. “Yeah, right. That’s why you look like you’ve gone a few rounds with that tukhulkha demon.”
Setting the mug on the table, he waited until she took a seat before he slumped back into his chair across from her. “You fell for him, didn’t you?”
Thick, fragrant steam billowed up from the mug and she drew it into her lungs, feeling the magical stress-relieving powers of the chocolate seep into her bones. “Did you come to interrogate me, my love?”
He snorted. “Yeah, like that’s gonna happen. No, I’m just here to make sure you’re okay.”
“And I’m fine. Have you checked on Catene?”
Low blow, yes, but she didn’t need her son picking at her now, asking her questions she couldn’t answer.
“Wow, you’re definitely running scared if you threw that at me already.”
And she should’ve known he’d see right through her. Obviously, it wasn’t all that hard right now.
“Mom—”
“Ty, please.” She held up one hand. “I could do without the examination, at least for now. Especially with Brandon so close.”
His sharp gaze held hers. “No worries there. He won’t hear us unless I want him to. Cone of Silence spell. Works like a charm.”
Ty had always had quite the fascination with comic-book superheroes since their debut in the early twentieth century. And he’d never been a slouch in spell casting. Which was probably why he and Catene—
“Mom. Don’t push him away now. You need him.”
She lifted the mug to her lips and took a healthy swallow, willing herself not to tremble. “I’ll get him killed. He nearly died during the ritual.”
And how much worse would it be if he died trying to protect her? If she couldn’t keep him safe?
“But he didn’t. Hell, the guy was strong enough to pull through having a knife plunged into his chest. Don’t you think—”
“He’s not strong enough to stand against a tukhulkha demon. He shouldn’t have to be. But neither do I have the strength to send him away and I might as well just sign his death sentence.”
“Whoa, Mom, going for the Oscar today? Chill.”
Her lips lifted in a slight smile. “And how old are you, sweetheart?”
“Younger than you and don’t you forget it. Seriously, Mama, what happened?”
“He’s a berserkir and we accidentally released the binding spell holding back his powers when we did the ritual last night. He wants to be enough for me but I took the choice away from him. Now he has powers that may make it impossible for him to ever play hockey again and he could get himself killed defending me from a tukhulkha demon sent by Charun.”
She waited, expecting another smart-ass response, but Ty looked to be deep in thought.
So she sat back to sip her chocolate. Ty presented such a carefree attitude to the rest of the world, most people forgot her son had a steel trap for a mind.
“He told me about the demon attack the other night and I looked up Tessa and her Cimmerian. They filled in the rest of the blanks. You know Charun will be coming for you because you actually have some power left. He’s upping the stakes.”
“But I am stronger and I have the lucani.” And now she had Brandon, even if she shouldn’t. “Charun’s demons will think twice about coming for me again.”
Ty shook his head. “So they’ll just go after Nortia or Amity or one of the others.”
Frustration began to boil in her veins. “And what do you suggest we do? We can’t take the battle to him. Charun’s too strong in Aitás. We’d be handing ourselves over to him on a platter. No, we merely need to protect ourselves until he gives up this stupid idea.”
“So basically you’re going to hide?”
Yes, it sounded cowardly. But she had to think of her sons, her lucani. And Brandon. People depended on her.
“And isn’t that what we’ve all been doing for the past two millennia? Why should this be any different?”
“You know why, Mama.” Ty leaned forward, his gaze intense and piercing. “You know the time’s coming. Cat’s birth—” He stopped to take a breath, forcing himself to unclench his fists on the table. “Everything’s changing and we need to get up to speed.”
She stilled, then realized she couldn’t ignore what he’d said. Ty never talked about Cat lately unless he had a damn good reason. “I thought you didn’t want Cat to be burdened yet?”
His expression screwed up with total frustration and she saw so much of herself in him at the moment, she wanted to be someone else, someone who could make it all better for him. Her sister goddess Tessa had a maternal instinct a mile wide yet she had never been blessed with children.
Lucy was a hunter goddess, fierce, strong and icy cool. During her prominence, she’d ruled the night and its denizens with a steel grip and swift retribution.
She’d created the lucani on a whim when the king of a small city had come to her and begged her to give him protection from those who would try to take his land. She’d given him the ability to shift into a wolf, him and his entire city.
She’d taken on a powerful god who’d wanted to bend her to his will and she’d walked away with her sanity and her son.
Now, she melted at the feet of one man and was seriously considering an irrevocable act that would forever change the life of a nineteen-year-old girl. And free Lucy from her continued obsolescence.
&nb
sp; “I’m sick of waiting.” His voice sounded like a low growl and he shoved away from the table to pace the floor. “I hate knowing what’s meant to be and I hate having no choice in the matter. I hate that her choice is nonexistent. And I love her so much it fucking scares me.”
Running a hand through his already messy hair, he looked wild, and for the most part he was. He’d taken to running in his pelt much more now than he ever had before.
All because he feared the changes they’d both known were coming. And which they’d been ignoring.
Charun’s pursuit was forcing her hand and she didn’t like feeling she was being backed into a corner. She tended to come out fighting when that happened and that never ended well for anyone.
She had much more to lose now. Or… maybe she just cared more about what she had to lose.
Either way, she needed to come up with answers. Soon. For all their sakes.
“Ty, sweetheart, you’re going to wear a path in Cole’s floor. The decision doesn’t have to be made this minute. We have time.”
A lie. She knew it and so did Ty.
He shook his head. “No, we don’t.”
***
“Hey, Mom. How’s it going?”
“Brandon, honey, how are you?”
Yeah, how the hell did he answer that one?
“I’m fine.”
Andrea Stevenson paused and Brandon had a second to wonder if she could actually read minds in addition to growing claws. “What happened? Were you injured?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. I’m fine. I’ve just… I got a question for you and I need you to answer me straight up.”
Another pause and Brandon saw his mom so clearly in his mind’s eye. She was flexing her hands, straightening and curling her fingers like…
Shit. Curling his own fingers around the charm Cat had given him before the ritual, he shook his head. How many times had he seen his mom do that and joked that she reminded him of a freaking bear, clawing the trees.
“Brandon, you’re worrying me. What’s wrong?”
Just spit it out. “Are we berserkir?”
He heard his mother gasp and then the clatter as the phone hit the floor. Next he heard her yelling for his dad. Screaming would probably be more like it.
How to Worship a Goddess Page 20