by Amy Field
Tracy, herself, was just as pretty with short blond hair and a perfect figure. It paid to be good looking as a secretary as Tracy had learned. No one liked to wait until you had an appealing face, a sad truth.
“Earth to Tracy,” Camellia said, waving her hand in front of Tracy’s face.
“Huh? I am sorry,” Tracy said automatically.
“Where did you go off to?” Camellia laughed.
“I got a bit distracted,” Tracy said. “It’s nothing to worry about.”
Camellia smiled warmly at her and opened her mouth to say something. As she did, an uncomfortable feeling bloomed in her stomach and began to push its way up to her throat. She tasted the sour liquid and bent down, her hand going to cover her mouth. Tracy was immediately by her side.
“Camellia!” Tracy exclaimed. “What’s wrong?”
“The bathrooms work right?” Camellia managed to say.
“They do,” Tracy confirmed and had barely finished her sentence before Camellia took off running towards the nearest one.
Camellia barely made it to the toilet and was throwing up her breakfast of eggs that her lover, Jared Baker, had made for her. Tracy stood by the doorway, a conflicted expression on her face.
“Are you okay?” Tracy asked tentatively as the bathroom elapsed into silence.
Camellia nodded weakly and wiped her mouth with the toilet paper, avoiding looking at the toilet bowl. She flushed it and washed her hands.
“I just have a bad case of food poisoning,” Camellia said.
“I don’t think that’s it,” Tracy contradicted. “I watched you for the last few days and you have been sick for a while now.”
“It’s a bad case,” Camellia tried to say.
“No more excuses. I am making an appointment for you tomorrow.” Tracy wagged her finger at her.
Camellia started to protest but at the fierce expression on Tracy’s face, she stopped and smiled.
“Well, I guess I have no choice but to accept it.”
Camellia didn’t like hospitals.
It wasn’t because she had a traumatic experience but she didn’t like the smell or look of it. It always smelled like alcohol and sickness. Today, it was especially worse. The smell made her want to run for the bathroom but she had skipped breakfast that day so she didn’t really have anything to throw up. Or so she thought until she ended up inside the bathroom.
She was being a bit harsh but as she stared at the people around her, she began to feel ill at ease, stamping down the urge to leave. She had promised Tracy and she hadn’t told Jared about it which was foolish of her. He deserved to know but he was busy with his law firm.
Jared Baker was six years older than Camellia and was well on his way to become the partner in his firm. She had met Jared during a housewarming party thrown by one of her clients.
To this day, Camellia knew it had been Jared’s eyes that had attracted her towards him. They were dark but warm with an intensity that mesmerized her. He was good looking, that was sure, with an impressionable face and friendly demeanor which was useful for his cut throat profession. He was well-liked by everyone and Camellia had been surprised to see how much when she had been taken by him to her first high-class event. Since then, she hadn’t looked back.
It was their third year of dating and recently they had begun to talk of their future. Words that made her heart flutter in joy.
“Miss Moore?” A nurse was calling out.
“That’s me,” she stood up hastily.
The nurse indicated towards the door and Camellia went in. Inside, a doctor sat by the chair, he was well in his fifties with white hair and a smile on his face. Camellia sat down.
“What seems to be the problem?” the doctor asked pleasantly.
Camellia told him about the nausea and added that she had felt quite tired recently. The doctor nodded and took down notes.
“For now, I’ll ask you to take a routine blood test and I’ll give you some vitamins. Come back tomorrow for the results.”
Camellia nodded and took the prescription. It had taken all of ten minutes. As she walked out, she was relieved it was over. A small blood test and then she could tell Tracy that her fears were unfounded.
What could happen?
“You can’t be serious,” Camellia gaped at the doctor.
“I’m afraid I am,” The doctor said gravely. “You are pregnant.”
“How… but… I… “ Camellia spluttered.
She heard the doctor’s voice from far away, telling her that she was ten weeks along and it was surprising that she wasn’t showing yet. It was quite common to experience nausea during this stage and he was going to prescribe some more vitamins for her along with an appointment with a gynecologist who could take an ultra sonogram for her.
“The ultra sonogram can be arranged now if you want it,” the doctor said helpfully.
“Yes,” Camellia said automatically.
The doctor smiled and picked up his telephone, speaking into it. Meanwhile, Camellia lay trapped in her thoughts, trying to absorb this knowledge. She was pregnant. How had this happened? Usually they were so careful but it had to be a day when they weren’t so careful. How could she be so careless? This wouldn’t do…
But was it so bad?
Someone was tapping her shoulder and she looked up to see a nurse. Camellia blinked in surprise.
“She’ll take you to the ultra sonogram room,” the doctor said.
Camellia got up and followed the nurse. She was prepped and laid on the chair, her blouse pulled back so that her stomach was exposed. A female doctor came in, smiling at her and squirted the cold bluish gel onto her stomach. She winced as the wand moved along her belly.
“There we go,” the doctor said in satisfaction. “This is your baby.”
Camellia looked at the screen and saw her baby. It-he looked so small. Suddenly everything was clear, this was it. This was her baby. Why had she been hesitating? The baby was the most important thing for her.
“I can have an image right?” Camellia said, her voice filled with emotion.
“Of course you can,” the female doctor said warmly.
Afterwards, Camellia remained in her car, staring at the sonogram as tears gathered in her eyes. Her baby, the product of her and Jared’s love. She couldn’t wait to tell Jared, hadn’t he always talked about having kids? So this was a bit sooner than they had planned but what did that matter? He would love to hear the news!
She looked at the clock, it was after five but he was surely at the office. She would go there and surprise him, he would be so happy! They would get married soon and buy a house together. She would take care of everything, especially the nursery.
Everything would be perfect.
Chapter Two
Camellia was strangely nervous as she stood in the lobby of Jared’s workplace. She had been here several times and, though she knew most of the employees, they waved at her as they passed by; she couldn’t smile back at them. Today, there was tension brewing in her. She supposed that it was from the news. The tension wasn’t the only thing that was hindering her. She was a little scared as well, thinking of Jared’s reaction. What would he say? Would he accept this baby or…
She couldn’t think of that possibility.
Camellia sighed and stared at the clock. She had been seated at this lobby for more than fifteen minutes. The clock showed six-thirty and Camellia knew she had to get a move on. As a rule, Jared was usually home by eight and she didn’t want to risk the chance of missing him. Camellia looked at her wrinkled attire and tried to smooth it out.
It doesn’t matter, she thought. Jared doesn’t care what I look like.
Camellia stood up, brushed her hair back and walked to the elevators. She knew which floor Jared was in and was sure he would be in his office. The numbers ticked on the elevator and she could feel her heart rate spiking with them. She was nervously anticipating his reaction.
Maybe he would even propose to her!
The thought made smile, yes,that would be perfect.
Her daydreams broke from the ding of the elevator and Camellia walked out. Jared shared the office floor with three other lawyers and they were the only employees on the floor, barring their secretaries. Jared’s office was situated at the back of the office so Camellia had ground to cover as she headed in that direction.
The other secretaries smiled at her as she passed them by and Camellia could smile back, her fears slightly alleviated. She knew she had been overreacting for no reason.
The first hitch came when she saw that Jared’s secretary, Alice, wasn’t at her usual spot. Usually Camellia would talk to Alice, chat with her, before walking in. It was certainly out of the ordinary but Jared had probably given Alice the day off.
Camellia took a deep breath in front of the door and knocked.
There was a small crash from inside and Camellia’s eyes narrowed.
“Who is it?” Jared’s voice came, sounding a bit out of breath.
“It’s me, Camellia,” Camellia said, wondering why his voice was strained with exertion.
“Wait a second Cam. I have to...uh...organize these papers,” Jared said, tensed.
Camellia waited and as she did, she heard more noises from inside but they were too loud for what Jared claimed to be doing. Even though she hated being suspicious, Camellia couldn’t help it. Something didn’t feel right.
Jared opened the door and Camellia brushed off her fears. She was being irrational, he looked impeccable as always, his hair was a bit awry but he couldn’t have perfect hair in the office. He smiled at her and she smiled back, berating herself on the inside for the scare she had inflicted on herself.
Jared’s office was large; it had a glass desk, a sofa for sitting and his certificates on the wall. Jared led her to the sofa where they sat down and Camellia’s eyes went to the closet door in the corner. She didn’t know why but her eyes kept turning to it.
“Why are you here?” Jared was asking. “I was going to leave in a few minutes anyway.”
“I had something I had to talk about,” Camellia tore her eyes away from the closet to focus on Jared.
His eyes were on hers and she could feel herself calming down. This was it, she would tell him that he was going to be a father and…
Camellia’s thought broke as her eyes fell on his collar. Something red was peeking out of the fold.
It’s nothing, she told herself. It’s ketchup.
Then she noticed something that was troubling. He had forgotten to button his shirt. The third button was open, giving her a view of his wife beater.
Jared was impeccable about his clothes; he wouldn’t do something so absent minded. Jared wouldn’t…
He….
Camellia looked at him with accusing eyes as it dawned on her. She knew it was too good to be true.
“Where is she?” Camellia asked in a hard voice.
“Where is who?” Jared said evasively.
“The girl you were going to sleep with before I interrupted you!”
She stood up agitated and began to look around for the girl. Where was she? Camellia held onto the anger that coursed through her. It was the only thing that prevented her heart from breaking at that moment. She couldn’t believe it, she knew her evidence was too flimsy but in her heart, she knew she was right. Jared was cheating on her.
The closet.
Camellia strode over, ignoring Jared’s protests and pulled it open. The person inside made Camellia gasp.
Alice tried to put her clothes back on as Jared tried to pull Camellia away. The girl’s hair flowed down to her back and Camellia could see her perfect figure taunting her. Anyone would have been fine but someone she knew, especially Alice, this was unforgivable. How could he have done this with someone he saw every day?
“I don’t believe it,” Camellia said. “How could you?”
“It’s not what it looks like…” he tried to say but Camellia cut him off.
“It’s exactly as it is. You know, I can’t even look at you right now. I am going to go home and you can do whatever you want. Don’t even think about coming to my place.” Camellia spat out and ran out.
She made it to her car before she started sobbing, how did this happen? Where had she gone wrong?
The rational part of her knew that there was no point in blaming herself for it but her heart was too wounded to listen to reason. Jared had played her for a fool. How long had he been doing this with his secretary? Had it been months?
Had Camellia simply been too blind to see it?
She thought back to the days they spend together, had there been any indication of it? No, she couldn’t remember any indication and she hated herself for it. Her blindness had caused her this whole mess. Camellia wiped away the tears with conviction and started her car. She couldn’t stay here, she had to leave.
She didn’t know where she would go but anywhere was better than here.
Camellia ended up at home, packing her suitcase.
Her home was an expensive apartment she had designed for herself when she was first starting out. The sight of it calmed her down for a few seconds but Jared’s fresh betrayal played in her mind and her calm disappeared. Camellia’s eyes filled with tears again and she strode to her bedroom, taking out her red suitcase. She dumped it on her bed and began to shovel clothes into it. She had no reason to leave, this was her home but Jared had a key and there was no way she wanted to see him today. For today, she would spend the night in a hotel and then look for a new apartment. Camellia hated the thought of giving up this apartment but there were too many memories attached to it.
Her suitcase was overflowing with clothes and she stared at it blankly for a few seconds.
Her hand fluttered to her stomach as she thought of the living being that resided inside. The poor thing was left without a father but would Jared have made a good father? He had lied to her and who knew how he would have reacted when he heard the news? The bottom line was clear to her, he didn’t deserve to be a dad and there was no way he was going to come anywhere near her baby.
A surge of motherly love ran through her and Camellia patted her belly.
She was going to take care of this baby and give it everything it needed without Jared’s help. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness and she wondered if he would ask for it. Whatever, she wouldn’t be here for it. She would soon find a home for herself and her baby.
There was no time like the present.
Chapter Three
Seven months later….
Camellia struggled with her shopping bags.
They were filled to the brim with the vegetables that the doctor had recommended for her. The doctor had told her that she needed to eat well as the labor date was drawing close. To be fair, she had two weeks before her labor date but the doctor said the date was only tentative. The real date could be any day now. Camellia was being careful and the bags weren’t helping her at all.
The lift shook as she tried to gather the bags in her hands. Camellia sighed. The lift had been rickety ever since she had arrived in this apartment complex. She didn’t like this place but it was the only place she could have found in a hurry when she left that day.
Jared hadn’t come looking for her.
Camellia didn’t know why he had come to her mind again but she wondered if things would have been different if he had come. Would she have forgiven him?
The lift door slid open and Camellia carried her things out. As she walked to her apartment door, she thought that she would have forgiven him. If he had asked her then, she would have but right now, she wouldn’t. Perhaps the baby had matured her and she no longer needed him for support. The baby was her support.
She opened her door and smiled wryly at the interiors. Her architectural side was in dismay over it. As she prepared for the arrival of her baby, she hadn’t done anything to the apartment. It was decent but plain without any decorations or sofa. All the things she had inside her old apartment
was now inside a storage locker, put there by Tracy who told her that she was free to go pick it anytime she liked. Camellia had avoided doing so for the last few months.
As of now, Tracy was the only one who knew she was pregnant but Camellia trusted Tracy. She knew Tracy would never tell anyone and according to Tracy, Jared had come to her for the information which Tracy had refused to divulge. That had been five months ago. There had been no Jared news after that.
Camellia set down her purse on her only sofa and went to her kitchen, her hands laden with the grocery bags. She started to take everything out and place it inside the fridge.
Everything else in her apartment may be a mess but her fridge was impeccably kept. She didn’t compromise with the food and the health of her baby was important. She had started throwing away anything past one day of the expiration date.
It was a far cry from before when she would eat whatever was in the fridge. It was amazing how much she had changed from her single life for her child and she didn’t regret doing that one bit. The groceries put away, Camellia rubbed her belly absentmindedly.
She did this quite often, touching the smooth bump and hoping that her baby would kick. Sometimes the baby obliged but today the baby didn’t. She was probably tired.
Though Camellia had the chance to know if the baby was a boy or girl, she had avoided learning it. She wanted it to be a surprise. She would love the baby no matter what but secretly she wanted a girl. As a single mother, Camellia felt that having a girl would help her relate to the baby. There was a fear in her, that if it was a boy, he would look like Jared. It wasn’t a farfetched assumption. Jared, despite his flaws, was the father. Camellia was past the feelings of love but she hadn’t quite forgiven him for his betrayal. Her greatest fear was that she would unknowingly inflict her bitterness upon her child.
Camellia was hungry.