I thought hard. “Lancer, I honestly don’t know if I can leave.”
I felt his shock. It resonated through his body to mine. He was afraid. He was afraid of what would happen to us.
“Allie, you have a chance for freedom. You have to think about this.”
I moved away from his touch. I needed space. “I am thinking about this.” Staring out the large window that overlooked the stables, I watched Cam grazing in a small paddock.
What kind of Pandora’s Box did I open?
“When I saw you that night, you looked scared. You wanted out. You told me so.” His feet carried him to close the distance between us. “You told me you were contracted. I knew what that meant. I knew who you truly were at that moment and I made it my mission to free you. And Avalon gives it to you freely? Alexandria, please—you owe this man nothing.”
As he spoke, a strange sense of anger rushed over my entire being. I couldn’t explain it. I wheeled around to face the man I cared for to defend the man I had taught myself to resist.
“Did you not see him just now? Avalon has been alive for one thousand, five hundred and thirty years! He is ancient! He’s been alone! He’s been suffering longer than you or I could ever imagine.” Tears pricked my eyes. “At first, I did not like this arrangement, especially with how strange it appeared. But now ...”
Lancer’s eyes searched my face, and I saw realization register over his face. Brows furrowed and those warm green eyes grew hard. I saw him fight off a flurry of emotions.
“He’s gotten into your head, Allie. He’s in your head.” Without warning, Lancer grabbed me, and I found myself laid on my bed. “He abuses you. He uses you for his own gain. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear at night and plays devil’s advocate in the day.” The urgency was clear in my lover’s voice. “I am inside you. I love you. I want nothing more than to protect you, Alexandria. You are mine.”
I closed my eyes as he spoke. His words lashed guilt over me like the straps of a whip. Of course, Lancer wanted to keep me safe. I could understand his fears; they matched many of my own.
He whispers sweet nothings into your ear at night and plays devil’s advocate in the day.
My eyes flew open.
I sat up, pushing him back and stared at the wall. I had to let this thought register. I had to let everything align.
“Do you finally understand?” His voice held hope.
Everything in my head screamed to run. Run down the hall, turn the corner, and just run to him. Taking a deep breath, I turned to look at Lancer.
Do I still love Lancer?
Of course, I did.
Am I still in love with Lancer?
My heart skipped a beat thinking of the way Avalon had kissed me.
The butterflies in my stomach stirred both in a flurry of promise and uncertainty. Somehow, Avalon had made room in my heart for himself.
“I have to stay, Lancer. I made a promise.” I offered him a small smile.
“What? No—that’s not how this works. A contract is not a promise!” He jerked away from the bed and angrily paced.
I steeled myself from his outburst. I kept my voice as calm as I could. “I made a promise today.” I raised my chin proudly. “I promised I would do whatever I could to break this curse on Avalon. On all of us.”
Despair settled on Lancer’s handsome features. Understanding soon followed. He was quiet for a beat. Then he walked to me, caressing my cheek before walking out of my room.
I didn’t follow.
My heart was steady, my mind clear. I knew what I had to do to set myself free. I didn’t need protection, and if I ever did, I had someone to protect me.
“Ms. York.” M’s voice caught my attention.
“M.” I stood, and I felt different. I felt like the weight of worlds rested on my shoulders, yet someone was there. I didn’t know who—but someone was helping me stand.
Eyes that reflected the sea seemed to sense the change in my resolve. “Shall I pack your belongings? His Grace asked me to see you off on his behalf.” Thin lips twitched into a small smirk. “That is if you are leaving us?”
I went to the wiry man and gave him a warm hug. “How could I leave Avalon like this? He stood his whole life in my shadow, making sure I could succeed. Besides”—I pulled back and placed my hands on my hips—“I never leave a job unfinished.”
I didn’t miss the relief on M’s gracious face. “This makes me happy to hear. I am sure the duke will be thankful as well.”
“May I see him?” I had to see him. I needed to know he was back on his feet.
“Right this way.”
I followed M back to Avalon’s wing. I had no idea where Lancer went, or what was going to happen between us, but I made a promise. It wasn’t just a promise to Avalon, but to myself, as well, and a higher power I hoped we could believe in. M motioned for me to slow my steps and knocked on Avalon’s door.
The night was gaining hold of the day. The sun was setting, and the large windows cast in light, flooding the room that stretched to the doorway. It seemed like Avalon’s room was awash with flames. Mentally, I took stock of everything that had happened over the past few days, the last few weeks, the last four months. Slowly, it was all making sense.
“Sir.” M entered, leaving the door ajar. I glanced through the crack and saw Avalon standing by the window. His raven colored hair looked damp and hung into his eyes. Black pants fit his strong frame, and a white dress shirt was tucked in, but the top few buttons were left undone.
“Is it done?” Avalon’s voice was ragged. “Please tell me.” His large hand went to his eyes, covering them for a moment. “Alexandria is gone?”
“Sir, I believe you underestimate Ms. York’s resolve.” The shorter man made his way carefully to Avalon. Resting his hand on his shoulder, Avalon looked up from under his hand.
“Yes, her resolve is strong, but her fear is stronger. I just want her safe, even if it means ...” His voice choked. His hands played with the ring on his finger.
My lips parted. Every memory was ticking my clock closer to understanding more and more. I watched Avalon’s shoulders slump under M’s touch. His chest heaved. He bit his bottom lip, and his chin quivered.
A small piece of the puzzle fell into place. The swell of emotion through my veins at the sight of Avalon thinking he had to wait another lifetime to try again killed me. Hands moved without me directing them. I pushed the oak door opened and walked in.
“Do you really think I’d be that cruel? To leave you knowing what I know? Do you truly think I’d leave a sculpture halfway done? I finish what I start.” I stood as steady as I could, hands balling into fists.
Those slate gray eyes rose to meet mine. My breath caught under his gaze. There was no trace of coldness, no intimidation. I was staring at a man stripped bare, vulnerable, and awestruck. Avalon opened his mouth to say words, but none came out.
“Don’t you understand, Avalon? I’m not leaving. I made a promise.” Pursing my lips, I raised my chin proudly. “I will do whatever I can, to the best of my ability, to help lead you from the dark.”
M nodded in agreement toward me, releasing Avalon from his hand. The man I had pushed away came to me.
I felt drawn to meet him.
I feared him no longer.
I closed my heart to the questions that screamed over and over. I was beginning to understand how this could work, and how it could go oh-so-wrong.
Avalon paused just inches from me, his handsome face seemed youthful with eyes wide and with mouth struggling to form words. I could see the shock. Another piece clicked in my brain.
“You’re used to people walking out on you or leaving you, aren’t you?” Tilting my head, my eyes grow soft on his.
Blinking fast, he swallowed. “Very few people stay. Very few people haven’t betrayed me.” He exhaled in a rush. “You don’t have to stay, Alexandria. It’s all right.”
My hand was fast to caress his cheek, thumb stroking over hi
s scar. The Dragon’s heart raced—I could feel it but couldn’t explain how. I stepped to close the space between us, stepping into the electric flow that buzzed between us.
“You were always there for me. You knew my parents died. You made sure I was given everything I needed to pursue my dream.” Unsuccessfully holding back tears, I sniffed. “It’s my turn, Avalon. I’m not like those from the past. I swear it.”
He shook his head, leaning into my touch and lowering his head. His larger hand covered mine as he nodded. I watched the wedding bands flash silver on his lightly tanned skin.
“I’m not her. I will not betray you. I can’t promise you my heart, and you know why, but I can promise my loyalty.” I felt his walls falling. He was letting me in. He trusted me. “Please, Avalon, I want to stay. I want to stay and do whatever I must to break your curse. Let me set you free.”
The intensity that flashed over his face at those words made my stomach twist. It was so—familiar. I dared to push. My fingers snaked around the hand encasing mine and ran over Avalon’s ring. He watched me intently.
The ruby glinted at me, its familiar tooling and etchings bringing an ironic smile to my lips.
“What are you smiling for?” His voice was low, soft. When I peered back up at him, the anticipation heightened.
“I should be angry with you, Avalon.”
He blinked, turning his head slightly, unsure of how to respond. “How so?”
“I can’t be angry with you when I’ve been an absolute dolt about it all. I knew because I won’t lie—I wanted it to be true.” I felt that horrid heat rise between us. His inhale wasn’t lost on me, as his gaze struggled to stay unnerved.
“What is it you know?” Avalon’s voice was husky. The Dragon within him was begging for release.
“You are indeed a Legend ...” I let my voice dangle on the unfinished sentence.
His mouth hung open slightly, steel eyes widening to almost panic. Avalon tried to pull away, but I held the Dragon in my possession.
“Ms. York ...”
“Don’t. Do not Ms. York me when you know everything about me.” I kept my voice gentle. “I am an artist, Avalon. My hands are my eyes.”
“Alexandria ... you are mistaken.” The beast was behind his gaze, wanting, lusting. He knew he couldn’t touch me, not in the light.
“I’m not, though.” I rested my hand on his strong chest. His heart pounded like mine was. “It’s the ring, isn’t it? It connects us at night.” I didn’t look at him this time. I couldn’t let him know I wanted it just as much in that dark corner of my heart.
“I don’t know what you are talking about, Alexandria. Perhaps, we should speak after you have a few days to rest at home?” Avalon gripped my shoulders tightly. It wasn’t punishing but to keep himself distanced.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“There is nothing to tell, Alexandria. You are confused.”
“I won’t tell ... I can’t tell. I didn’t think it was real at first, but now, I know for sure.” I gathered the strength to look at him.
“Please, Alexandria. I’m begging you. You are wrong.” The desperation in his voice gave him away.
“So tell me why you can’t be along with me without looking at me as though you want me? Why can’t you control yourself? Why does it eat you alive that Lancer still wants me?” My fingers curled into the soft cotton of his shirt. “I have been so confused, Avalon. My constant is my inconsistent. My nightmares are the best dreams. With that ring—you have ruined me.”
A silence fell between us. His head hung, and I felt the lock to his demons sliding open. Stepping up on my toes, I whispered into his ear.
“You loved me that night, didn’t you, Arthur?”
His gasp was loud; his hands yanked me to his chest. Avalon held me close as I soothed his beasts. Muscles trembled as his fear of being found out settled on him.
“I’m ... I’m so sorry ... Alexandria. Please, I just ... I couldn’t help myself.” The regret was heavy in his voice.
So that’s your regret.
“Don’t be sorry, Avalon. You gave me a solace I’ve never had. It was a dream. Just a dream.”
“I shouldn’t have done it, dream or not. I shouldn’t have kissed you in the study. I shouldn’t have let you get so damn close.” He growled, standing to full height. Eyes flickered as they narrowed on me.
There was my Dragon.
“No, you shouldn’t have,” I agreed. “But we are where we are now. Now, I know—now, we can move on and solve this curse.”
Avalon’s face was pure shame and guilt.
He sighed, looking away from me. “I don’t know if I can look at you with you knowing what I—what we’ve done. I know how much Lancer means to you. I know how pure your conscience is.”
“This isn’t conventional Avalon. You’ve lived for over a century.” I made a sweeping motion with my arm. “We’re all cursed. Lines will be crossed, I’m sure. Just as long as you understand that I know and I want to stay.” Now, my resolve was breaking. “To be honest, I don’t ever know if I could walk away from you.”
Avalon’s eyes were hard on mine. “Oh, I’m sure you could find reasons.”
“No ...” I gave him a sad smile. “I’m in trouble, just as you are, Avalon.”
“Oh, and how is that?” His voice was sharp.
“I fell in love with that piece of you ...”
There it was. That look he bestowed on me said it all. Somehow, I had gone from the princess in the tower to master of the Dragon.
Five
Avalon
It was Wednesday afternoon, and the only energy I could muster was pushing the teacup around its saucer. The summer sun did nothing to brighten my mood. My brain replayed her words like a broken record.
I fell in love with that piece of you.
My chest tightened at that simple sentence. Did she have no idea the power she wielded over me? Alexandria had only been gone for two days, yet it felt like an eternity. Lancer had helped her collect her things, silent for once, and followed her home. I could sense the tension between the two of them. Something had happened.
I had another episode last night. Luckily, M caught me before I hit the floor. My bones ached; my muscles throbbed from the convulsions.
What was wrong with me?
I lowered my head.
Was this a new trial?
It had been so long since I had one, I forgot what it was like to be tested. Deep down, the fear grew stronger and stronger. I managed to swallow it down for now, but I knew it was the only time.
I stared at the lake before me, the twisting shrubs, and flowerbeds that had been the same for centuries—I bit back a sorrowful moan.
“God, please, give me the means to protect her ... from even me,” I whispered to no one. Or so I thought.
“I have the means, Knight. Should you be brave enough to seek it out.”
That voice.
Turning, I saw a tall, platinum blond woman in a pale blue skirt suit. Her slender frame moved with spectral grace toward me. Weak limbs moved to kneel.
“My Lady ...”
“No, just Vivian this time, Avalon. Please, sit. Orla told me you have not been well.” Her touch gave me a jolt of energy.
Tired eyes widened on her clear blue. “You know how to fix this?”
“Well, not all of it.” She motioned for me to sit, and I did. “But I do have the means to fix you.” Lacing her fingers, Vivian leaned forward. “I know how to reclaim that which is missing from you.”
“You meant what you said that spring night. You came to me and said that the time was coming. Is it so soon?” The woman before me was ancient, even more so than I was. Her radiance, though, was brilliant.
Now in human form over spectral, I remembered the boat ride the day I had been dying. She smiled at me, promising me this wasn’t the end.
“Yes, as soon as Alexandria was born, Mordred has been working away on his strategy.” Her pink lips tur
ned down in a frown. “Avalon, it is bad, what we are up against. When the time comes, we may have to do things we are not proud of.”
“Desperate times ...” I let the cliché hang. Vivian nodded in agreement.
“How weak are you, Avalon?” Clear eyes grew concerned as she watched my hand shake over the teacup. Gritting my teeth, I tried to hide it.
“I’ve just suffered a few setbacks.” I forced a smile. “I’ve been better, but I’ve also been worse.”
A thin brow arched. She reached over the table to touch my chest, over my heart, and closed her eyes. With a gasp, she sat back.
“How long have you been nursing that?”
My own eyes narrowed back. “Nursing what?”
“That blackness ... the hatred and anger that I feel from you is overwhelming.” Vivian’s face grew sorrowful. “Did I make a mistake by allowing that demon in your life again? Has he been the cause of this? What lies has he been feeding you?” Her own irritation grew higher and higher.
“Ah, Ms. Lake, I thought the virtue I smelled out here was you.”
Vivian’s long fingers curled against the ceramic on the table. Twisting her head slowly, she made eye contact with M. I wasn’t sure how long this reunion was going to stay civil.
“Of course, I am here.” Her voice was cool. “I am beginning to realize why Avalon is ill. Spoon feeding him lies and making him rely on your black magic is his ticket to eternal rest.” Her body finally spun to face off with the thin man.
I swallowed. It was an odd position. Almost like having two estranged parents who hated each other meeting for lunch.
“I must say, Vivian, you look fantastic. All of these centuries of resting have done you well.” M’s calm demeanor was all a façade. I know how much he hated the woman who’d imprisoned his heart—and then his soul.
“Flattery will get you nowhere.” The exchange grew interesting when I noticed a flush of heat in the priestess’s face.
M tilted his head downward, sea green eyes grazing her from head to toe over his thin-rimmed glasses.
“M, please stop flustering our guest.” I gave him a wink.
“Of course, sir, I was just a bit taken aback at being blamed for your illness. I have done nothing but support you.” He glowered at Vivian. “Even she should know that. I have been the one with you since day one of your new life.”
The Duke's Curse (Legend Book 2) Page 4