by Nikki Wild
“No guessing about it. You’re as much a part of this thing as we are. I know you’re probably struggling to accept that, thinking it’s a dream come true. And it is. But you’re not asleep, Phoenix. The dream doesn’t have to end.”
“But Alex…”
“…Is gone,” he told me calmly. “Alex isn’t in the picture anymore. He screwed up at the wrong time, and we’ve had to move on. He’s not coming back.”
“I don’t get how you guys can be so blasé about what happened with him.”
Trevor shrugged. “He was kind of a tremendous prick. You’re not. You’re also a better bassist than he ever was, and you show up to practice. So there’s that.”
“Yeah, but he wrote some of the best bass lines I’ve ever heard! I’ve spent the last year playing his stuff every time I can…” I replied quietly.
“You think he wrote that stuff single handed? Alex might have had a hand in it, but Dylan penned almost every single note. He doesn’t take enough of the damn credit.”
“Weird,” I shook my head. “I had no idea...”
My fingertips tapped almost involuntarily against my thigh, pressing against invisible frets as I imagined my way through one of the difficult solos. Knowing that Dylan behind that soul filled beat made all too much sense. I was instantly reminded of the way he’d join me on stage… The way we would play at each other while the whole room faded away.
“Remind me to tell you more about that sometime,” Trevor said, snapping me back to the present. “For now…”
“Yeah?”
Jeremy was suddenly handing us drinks. “Sorry to interrupt, but these were going to just water down over there…”
“No problem,” I smiled up at him. “How happy are you that Nicole’s around?”
Jeremy glanced over at her.
“Oh, I’m stoked. She’s got exactly what we need to move up a few pegs. The label gave us an amazing goddamn start, but if we want to keep this engine oiled up right, we’ll need all the help we can get…”
Something triggered in my head.
I jumped up from my chair and walked straight up to Nicole, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her back to a more private area of the bus.
Jeremy shouted after us, but I held up a finger to let him know we’d be a minute and he went back to talking with Trevor.
“Whoa, hey!” Nicole chuckled as I shoved her past the bunks, a little liquor slurring her voice. “I was chatting with the twins there!”
“I need your advice,” I told her as we pushed through doors and I sat her down on the bed in the back.
The one in which I’d just spent the afternoon doing the sexiest thing I’d ever done in my entire life.
“What’s up?” She asked curiously as I fumbled for the bedside lamp, bathing the room in dim light.
I knelt in front of her.
“I’m confused, and I don’t know who to turn to, and now here you are, right when I need you,” I started blabbering. “I don’t know what to do, and I’ve been fighting it for so long. I just–“
“Whoa!” Nicole blinked with an amused smile. “Don’t come at me running on 10. Turn that down a few notches and explain to me what’s going on.”
“The twins,” I told her.
“What about them?”
“I fucked them.”
Nicole’s face lit up. “Seriously? You banged both of them? Hell yeah, girl! High fives are in order!”
“No, I mean… they’ve had the hots for me for weeks. They’re both so hot and so… different. I couldn’t decide between them. And I tried to not give in, I really did…”
“So you tried both?” She smirked. “And they know?”
“Oh yeah,” I sighed. “They know.”
“And they’re cool with that?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“Then girl, you lucked right the fuck out, didn’t you?” Nicole laughed. “If everyone’s cool, then what’s the worry? Unless…” She went quiet. “That doesn’t really sound like you, though.”
“Being in this band is changing me,” I told her. “I wanted to just join up for a few weeks and play with musicians I respect. They’re hot as shit, but I didn’t dream for a moment that…”
Nicole set her drink down and pulled me into her warm embrace. “Lots of things have been moving fast. It’s not hard to see that you’re struggling to deal with that. I get it.”
I nodded sadly into her bosom.
“But what you’ve got to do now is decide what you really want, right? Choose how these experiences will change you, Fee. Are they going to hurt you? Or are they going to liberate you?”
The feeling of my best friend petting my hair brought clarity and warmth to my confused, stumbling mind. I pulled back from her and looked her in the eyes.
“They were fighting. I knew they were fighting over me. But I couldn’t decide between them, even seeing how different they are… so…”
Her eyes flashed wide.
“You didn’t.”
I bit my lip. “I did.”
“Together?”
“Yeah…”
“When?!”
“This afternoon…”
Nicole was ecstatic. “That is the hottest thing I have ever heard of. You have got to tell me every last, glorious detail.”
“Maybe not right now,” I shrugged.
My friend pouted.
“Alright… but they were okay with this? Man, I knew those two did everything together, but I didn’t know they went that far…”
“I don’t think they usually do...”
Nicole began mock-fanning herself. “I’d have killed to have been a fly in that room… better yet, the chick in the middle. Those two are fucking hot. You sly dog!”
“You see why I’m worried about hurting one of them. Or getting hurt myself.”
Nicole smiled deviously. “You never give yourself enough credit for how well you can improvise and handle shit. You’ll be fine. They will be fine. Take this opportunity and go for it. Just see where it goes, and know that I support you no matter what.”
“You’re the best,” I grinned, throwing my arms around her. “Thanks for talking me through it… I have to think about it, but you’re exactly who I needed right now.”
“Were you not listening earlier?” Nicole laughed, taking a deep swig from her drink like the glorious party girl she was at heart. “Bitch, I am Decadent Desires’ fairy goddamn godmother!”
I was starting to think she was right.
Phoenix
“An album?” Aiden haggardly asked the following morning, turning his brain back on while scratching his chin.
The group was assembled in the tour bus den, which was quickly becoming our de facto meeting spot. With so many of us here now – the five in the band, Jeremy, and now Nicole – it was the only consistent area that could comfortably fit all of us.
“An album makes sense,” Carter noted.
“I think it’s the way to go,” Trevor spoke. “If we’re gonna do this legit, let’s stop playing at it and do it right.”
“You guys have, what, a couple of extended plays?” Nicole asked, lounging devilishly in an easy chair. “It’s a good idea. Put an album out. You’ve got a full set, so commit that shit to a single CD and give the fans something else to buy.”
“How will we get the CDs?” Aiden asked. “We have our EPs out with the shirts and shit, but even at breakneck speed, we can’t have that stuff mastered, printed, and shipped out to us reasonably soon…”
Nicole chuckled, twirling a glass of wine in her fingers like some kind of mild, drunken fist master of the music world. “Do you guys have any idea how fast something can show up on iTunes?”
“iTunes?” Aiden groaned. “Do you guys really want to do the online music shit?”
Nicole put the wine down and lounged a little more professionally. She started holding up fingers.
“Three words Aiden: exposure, revenue, and initiative. Gather ‘round and let me break this
shit down for you.” She was kidding, but we all leaned forward in our seats anyway.
“If you want more people coming to these things, you’ve gotta give them something they can download without having to leave the house. No more relying on YouTube postings and a couple of songs slapped up online.
“Plus, songs are cheap. It’s like, what, under a buck to buy a song? An album is under ten dollars. iTunes gets their cut, then the label takes theirs, and you get what’s left – which is still higher than the physical copy of the disc, especially if it goes viral.
“Third, Steven Stone didn’t have the time to try and throw a recording session together for you guys out there. So, he’s working with your self-made EPs after cleaning them up. For DIY stuff, they’re good. Damned good. But take the reins on this. Show him you’re willing to give him something to work with. Put an album in his hands and watch how quickly he puts that well-oiled machine of his to work for you.”
“We haven’t heard anything out of him about an album,” Carter chimed in. “Hell, we haven’t heard anything out of him, period. Does he want us doing this?”
“He’ll probably say he just wants you focusing on the tour,” Nicole conceded. “But I can make some calls and reach out to his peeps out here. See if I can book studio time. If you just played your set to perfection and recorded that… I mean, you’ve already got the songs, yeah?”
“Always nice to have a few fallback songs that aren’t recorded,” Dylan mentioned. “We can slap everything we’ve got on a record, but then what? What do we keep in our back pocket, just in case?”
“You’re a band, right?” Nicole smirked, taking another sip of wine. “Are you telling me that you guys can’t just, I don’t know, write other songs?”
We all shared a thoughtful look.
It certainly hadn’t occurred to me to write anything new with them and, judging by the thoughtful looks on their faces, the same was true for them.
This really meant that we were moving forward without Alex.
“We could do that,” Aiden noted.
“Sweet,” Nicole grinned, downing the rest of her glass and whipping out her phone. She was already texting at breakneck speed. “Let me line a few things up and nail us a recording date, and start thinking melodies. If you can think of something really good before you go into that booth, then that can be the leading single.”
I was already getting excited. Even Carter was smirking at this bold new idea, his fingertips drumming in the air.
Nicole glanced wistfully ahead. “The first step forward for the direction of this new lineup…” She smiled proudly at us. “Just remember… if you guys can make it, Snow Leopard can print it, and I can sell it.”
Jeremy nodded off to the side. He’d been quietly content to let Nicole take over our little band huddle this morning, and he was thoughtfully watching her.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I called out to him, drawing his gaze.
He smiled. “Nothing really to add. I think it’s a damn fine idea. You need all the fresh firepower you can get, and nothing quite says firepower like a new release.”
Nicole smiled warmly his way. “Then it’s settled.” She popped up from her chair and slipped her phone back into her purse. “I’ll move some pieces around and see what’s what. I suggest that you guys practice for tonight and start thinking songs…”
“Actually, I already have been,” Aiden smirked, turning to his brother.
Dylan returned a grin. “So have I…”
The two of them jumped up to head for the practice room. Trevor and Carter glanced lazily after them, then turned to each other and shrugged.
I jumped up curiously and followed them to the instrument room on the bus. I closed the doors behind myself and turned to the two of them.
“Before you guys get started…”
The twins turned to me nonchalantly.
I swallowed nervously.
“I’ve been thinking about yesterday,” I told them with a tight lump in my throat. “I just… I wanted to say… I’m really sorry for freaking out on you guys. That wasn’t cool.”
They were giving me their undivided attention again. But this time, instead of staring at me like I was some prized slab of meat… they were listening.
“We’re sorry too,” Dylan replied.
“For what?”
Aiden turned away for a moment. “Dylan told me the things I said last night. I’m a piece of shit when I’m half asleep, and I’m sorry. You’re more important to this us than you fucking know. To us and the whole band. The last thing I want you to feel is unwelcome here.”
I’d never seen Aiden act humbled before.
It chipped away at my throat-lump.
“And I’m sorry for the pressure you must have felt,” Dylan replied. “This is new ground for all of us. And if you don’t want this… then, we can move past it.”
“Speak for yourself,” Aiden groaned.
Dylan cast him a filthy look. “Both of us. We will both respect your wishes. If you don’t want anything with us… then we are not going to force you into it.”
I watched Aiden begrudgingly swallow his pride. “Fine,” he growled, turning to me again with eyes a little more vulnerable than I’d ever seen them. “If that’s what you really want, then fine.”
The level of self-sacrifice stunned me.
After all this time, they were both willing to cast aside their personal hunger for me… but I could tell they both really wanted it to continue.
This wasn’t just a one-off fling to them.
They wanted more.
They craved more.
But the two brothers were willing to put my feelings first to keep my friendship, and to keep me in this band.
It made the decision very easy.
“Say something,” Aiden hesitantly spoke.
I took a deep breath. “Lucky for the two of you, that’s not what I want. I want to see where this goes… with both of you. And only with both of you… if you guys can handle it.”
Dylan flashed a warm, endearing grin.
Aiden’s smirk went smugly confident.
These are my boys, alright, I shook my head with a smile. I’m climbing into bed with my crusading knight and my hungry wolf…
“So, now that that’s cleared up,” I tried to shift the mood, “you guys were talking about a song?”
“Yeah,” Dylan perked up. “After how amazing yesterday was, I wanted to channel that into a new track. Maybe slap it on the album if we can get the others to add their own charm.”
Aiden added: “That was my idea too.”
“This is the first time I’ve seen you two agree on anything,” I shook my head in slight admiration. “No more fighting.”
“That’s not true,” Aiden reminded me confidently with a warm grin. “Don’t you remember? We agreed yesterday.”
“Fair point.”
“Why don’t you join us?” Aiden asked. “You were there too. If we’re all in the same place, then why not write the song together?”
Dylan beamed. “I like that idea.”
“Wait – really?” I asked, astonished. “You want me to help you guys write something with you?” I asked. “I mean, I’ve written some songs, but I’ve never really done the collaboration thing before...”
“Hey, we’ve been there,” Dylan slipped an arm around me. “The first time is always tricky. But we’re pros at this shit now.”
“Pros who have only written eleven songs in our entire career,” Aiden replied sardonically.
“So we’ll become pros together,” Dylan continued, undeterred. “We’re a singer, a guitarist, and a bassist. Let’s combine forces to write the best goddamn song this band has ever played.”
“What about the others?” I asked.
“They can help write other songs,” Dylan insisted. “This one’s ours.”
“Are you guys… sure?”
Aiden grinned. I was trying to get used to him smiling without someth
ing wicked or devious in his gaze. “Absolutely. Like my brother said… let’s write the best goddamn song Decadent Desires has ever made.”
And in that room, in the next few hours, that is exactly what we did.
Dylan
While Jeremy and Nicole were tied up with Snow Leopard in the middle of album budget negotiations, Carter and Trevor decided to get lost in a massive gaming marathon.
The three of us had a different kind of marathon in mind…
Once the song was written and we were confident in it, Aiden and I whisked Phoenix away to the back bedroom again.
We were filled with adrenaline after a productive session in the studio room, and the two of us were eager to take our bassist up on her offer before she had a chance to change her mind again.
Aiden started tugging her shirt over her head while I kissed along her bare stomach, eager to taste her flesh again.
Phoenix squealed with affection, her fingers threading into my hair and guiding me up her body.
“No bra today?” I raised an eyebrow.
“I knew we were going to fuck today,” she smiled seductively, her eyes flitting when Aiden tugged her hair back.
Goddamn, that’s hot.
“I should be offended that you’d just assume that,” Aiden growled darkly into her ear. “But, considering how badly we both crave your body… I’ll let it slide.”
“Hell, I’m not mad,” I groaned as I planted my lips around her perfect, perky nipple, grasping the breast in my hand.
Phoenix let out a soft moan.
“I don’t think she’s enjoying this,” I grinned up at Aiden. “She’s so reserved. Maybe we should just stop.”
“Good point,” my brother noted, releasing his grip on her hair. “Perhaps we can come back to this another day.”
“No,” she quietly pleaded.
“What’s that?” He asked.
“Speak up,” I commanded.
“Please don’t stop…”
He and I shared a look. “Well,” I said.
“If you insist…”
Aiden tugged her shirt up to her chin, putting both breasts firmly on display. His hands cupped them, letting me dive in and kiss the erect, perky nubs, taking each into my mouth and suckling them to my heart’s content.