by Gemma Snow
“It’s not going to work.”
She blurted it out almost before Dec had finished talking and he pulled back to give her a smug smile that Hollie had half a mind to wipe off his face. She was still an unrefined dirt child from the wilds of Montana, after all.
“Why not?’ he asked. “And do you even really know what you don’t want to work, or are you cutting out all possibility because you’re terrified, without even looking at your options?”
“How did things go down with Lily?” she asked. “Because I guarantee it wasn’t the result of a decade of radio silence, broken trust and mutual dislike.”
“You’re right,” Dec replied. “Things are complicated with you—that’s valid and I won’t argue it. But things were complicated with Lily and Micah and me too. Things were complicated with Aubrey.” Hollie winced at the reminder of the woman who had broken Dec’s heart the year before. “Things will always be complicated where love is concerned, no matter what kind of love that is. But.” He paused and gave her a very pointed look. “Love is worth fighting for. It’s worth being vulnerable for and it’s worth giving in to.” The expression in his eyes made Hollie actually believe in true love, which was a thing and a half if she were being honest.
“They hate each other,” she said quietly, voicing her deepest concerns out loud. “They’ve been fighting for years and I don’t even really know why and even if something could happen, that would make things really hard for us.”
She hadn’t actually considered an us, an us in anything other than the abstract, not in the reality of her somehow forging a relationship the likes of which Dec enjoyed every day.
“They don’t hate each other,” Dec replied. “They blame each other, but they don’t hate each other.”
“So what?” It was somehow both a massive relief to talk about this and one of the most terrifying conversations she had ever had, because Dec made it sound real—not easy, not without its challenges—but real, as though she could simply decide that she was going to go ahead and follow this wild and crazy path, and that everyone else would just be on board with it.
“Hollie, do you have feelings for Cade and Sawyer?” he asked simply.
She didn’t say anything for a moment. Saying it out loud would make it final, would give it concrete form that made it impossible to ignore. Saying it out loud would mean she had some very important decisions to make in the next days when she was supposed to be focusing on saving lives.
“We slept together,” she said, instead. “Once together-together…then…well, once at the fire department and once at the police station.”
Dec was making an obvious effort not to laugh in her face and she cut him a dark glance. He held his hands up in surrender and finally gave over to the giggles.
“I know you slept together,” he said. “Even if the totally hot expressions you all keep shooting each other when you think no one’s looking didn’t give it away—which they totally do—you left your panties in the lounge the other day. Not exactly subtle.”
Hollie dropped her headed into her hands and let out a low groan.
“Does everyone know?” she asked through her fingers. Not that it mattered. Once she left Wolf Creek, she would never see any of these people again.
A thought that left her surprisingly sad.
Beside her, Declan gave a shrug. “We’re not blind, Hol. There’s obviously something going on between the three of you and, well, we’re pretty good at recognizing the signs.” He paused. “But that’s not what I asked. I asked if you had feelings for them, and judging by the fact that you changed the conversation, I have my answer.”
“It’s complicated,” she repeated, still with her hands over her head.
“So you’ve said,” Dec replied. And it was interesting to see him this way, the man who had been a carefree flirt to cover up hidden hurts from his past, suddenly a sage on love and ready to dispense wisdom to willing and reluctant souls alike.
They were quiet for a moment and Hollie watched the birds swoop low and dark against a bright white sky. In another week or so, the whole mountain would be lush with colors—bursting greens, patches of blue and yellow wildflowers as far as the eye could see, pink and orange. She wasn’t above admitting that she’d missed the sight, that of all the beauties she had visited across the world, there was something extra special about Wolf Creek in the spring.
“Yes,” she said quietly, pulling her hands away from her face to look Dec in the eye. “Yes, I have feelings for them, both of them, and I’m confused and scared and not sure what to do next.”
Dec took her hand in his, and it was a comfort that made her want to call Wes when she got home. Once the storm was over. And the natural disaster too.
“You talk to them, Hollie. You take that leap you’ve always been the first to take and you allow yourself to be vulnerable.”
“What if I get hurt?” she said, saying it out loud for the first time. “What if I hurt them?”
Dec placed a chaste kiss on her head and stood.
“What if you don’t?”
Chapter Thirteen
Sawyer caught up with Cade just as he was walking back from his Bronco. Cade had just pocketed his cell phone and looked as though he wanted any excuse in the world not to talk.
“She’s going to leave after this storm passes,” Sawyer said without preamble. “And there’s nothing either of us can do about it on our own.”
The expression on Cade’s face told Sawyer he had come to the same conclusion.
“What do you suggest?” Cade asked. “Hollie’s never done anything she didn’t want to do and if she wanted to stay, she would.”
“We haven’t given her any reason to stay,” Sawyer replied, and it made his chest feel a little tight. They hadn’t given her any reason to stay beyond spectacular lovemaking against walls, tables and floors. “I know she slept with you. And for right now, it’s not what I’m worried about.” Was that actual admiration in Cade’s gaze? Sawyer wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it.
“I think we have to talk to her,” Cade said quietly, as if the idea of the two of them going to do anything together was unfathomable, despite all that had happened between them in the last few days, and despite the incredible communication they had shared that night they had seduced Hollie, without a word, without asking each other for permission.
“She’s back in her cabin right now,” Sawyer replied. “Savannah told her to go sleep before the calls came in. Might be the last chance we get.”
And he hated that he had to ask for Cade’s help the same way that he hated that Cade was involved at all, but the draw he felt for the woman who had torn his heart out when they’d been nothing more than kids was so much stronger. If it was a matter of talking to her with Cade Easton at his side or not talking to her at all, Sawyer knew which option he would pick.
“This doesn’t mean we’re friends,” Cade replied grudgingly, but they started down the path toward her cabin together. There was a light on in her room and since Savannah, the only other resident of the Triple Diamond B&B at the moment, was still safely up in the lodge, there was no second-guessing where to go. They walked in silence, but Sawyer had to admit that the undercurrent of tension that had long existed between the two of them was almost a comfort. With everything else on its head the second Hollie had walked into town with her pretty lips, luscious ass and adventurous spirit that made the world around her sit up and take notice, Sawyer was almost grateful for that reminder that some things never changed.
Though, of course, they could. The bridge between him and Cade Easton wasn’t exactly impassable. They’d never been best friends. In fact, Sawyer had really only had one best friend until joining the fire department, and she had skipped town the moment things had gotten rough. But the deep, abiding dislike between them had, once, stemmed from a place of hurt and sadness.
A place of love.
Sawyer wanted to punch himself in the face for even thinking it. But once
the idea had taken root, it was almost difficult to ignore. Hollie had left them both without a word and it had just made them turn on each other, rather than forming some kind of plan to get her to come back. Granted, it had been years in which they had fostered this deep resentment and anger, and that sort of thing didn’t just go away, but…
They stopped outside her door and Cade gave him a look Sawyer couldn’t even begin to interpret.
“Hol, you home?” he called out. No answer, though movement in the cabin indicated she was awake. Was she avoiding them? He wouldn’t have blamed her—hell, he’d probably turn tail and run in the other direction if he were in her shoes.
Which he really hoped she wasn’t about to do.
“Hollie.” Sawyer’s voice was low and rough and he knew that he could get used to saying her name every day for the rest of his life.
“Sheriff, you want to do the honors?” Sawyer asked, with only some of his usual sarcasm. Cade didn’t even comment on it. Strange times for us both, it seems.
“Hollie.” Cade pushed open the door to the cabin and called her name when they walked inside. Maddy Hollis had done one hell of a job decorating the place, Sawyer had to admit. It was homey and rustic, like the front of a Hallmark card or something just as schlocky, but it didn’t feel forced. It felt genuine, like coming home.
Like seeing Hollie Callihan again.
There was movement in the bedroom and Sawyer followed Cade down the hallway until the two of them came to an abrupt stop. Hollie was in a pair of shorts and a light pink bra. Headphones peeked out from until her lush piles of blonde curls, which he rarely saw down, and she was swinging her hips and dancing as if she didn’t have a care in the world.
And oh, shit, Hollie could dance. The way she moved her ass reminded Sawyer of exactly what it had felt like to have that ass in his hands as she arched against him, as they gave over to each other against the wall at the fire station. Her body was smooth and lithe and muscled and he wanted to lick her all over, to give in to this maddening lust for this woman every single day for the rest of their lives.
“Hollie,” Sawyer tried again, but she must have been wearing noise-resistant headphones, because she still didn’t turn around. Cade stepped forward and made an obvious effort to be gentle about getting her attention, but she was so lost in her own world that the moment he touched her she let out a screech and yanked the headphones from her ears.
“Jesus Christ,” she said, placing her hand to her chest, which Sawyer had difficultly not watching fluttering up and down. He’d held her breasts in his hands. He’d caressed the swollen nipples pushing at the cotton of her bra and he’d pressed his mouth to the hot apex of her thighs until she had screamed his name, pulled his hair and come hard against his tongue. He very much understood the idea of tasting the forbidden fruit now.
“Sorry, Hol,” Cade said, “we called your name a few times, but you didn’t hear us.” She gave him a look that Sawyer took to interpret as I know you’re right, but I don’t need to be happy about it.
“What are you guys doing here?” she asked. “We should all get some rest before the party starts.” She wasn’t wrong, but the idea of letting her walk away without even having the conversation was enough to make Sawyer feel caged and claustrophobic. He didn’t understand it—hell, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to understand it. He had cared so much for the girl and she had gone and broken his heart. It would be foolish, then, to care so much for the woman with the same power.
“We need to talk,” he said gruffly. “And we know you’re going to try to pull a Houdini on us the moment the storms settle, so we’re doing it now.” Some things hadn’t changed, and the expression in Hollie’s eyes gave him all the insight he needed to know that he had been right about her intentions to pull a disappearing trick.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Of course not,” Cade replied. “In fact, you were planning to seek us out and tell us everything and discuss all of your feeling and emotions, then give us the chance to share ours, right?” Hollie looked like an angry pixie, which Sawyer did not point out.
“How do you know I wasn’t?” she asked, then winced, as if just remembering how everything had gone down the last time. “Fine, you’re right. Talk, then. Come on.”
“Can you put on a shirt first?” Sawyer asked, pointedly dropping his gaze to her still heaving chest. “I can’t concentrate right now.”
“Always the caveman,” Cade sniped.
Sawyer elbowed him in the ribs and got a very satisfying puff of air from Cade’s parted lips in return.
“Least I know how to keep a woman in my cave so she doesn’t go wandering,” he replied. “Would you like some tips?”
Hollie had gone off in search of a shirt, which Sawyer had to note was a flimsy tank top that only cupped her breasts and made him wants to trace the peaks of nipples that showed through the fabric. Then again, Hollie could have been wearing a bag and he would still have ached to touch her again—the FEMA windbreaker had been proof enough of that. She led them out of her bedroom and into the living room before the fire, where she perched on a chair and indicated for the two of them to sit on the sofa like errant schoolboys. He hadn’t considered the kink before, but if Hollie was his teacher, he certainly wouldn’t rule it out.
“You wanted to talk,” she said, darting her gaze between the two of them. “So talk.”
“This was your brilliant idea,” Cade mumbled.
“Not my fault you can’t string two words together,” Sawyer replied instinctively. They’d been fighting like this for years and all those old hurts were right back at the surface, threatening to send her so far away she never came back—not even for a natural disaster.
“What?” She stopped her nervous fidgeting and crossed her arms over her chest. “What the hell is it between you two? The only time you’ve agreed on anything since I came back was when you were tearing off my clothes on the table in the lodge, which”—she took a moment to point at them both—“everyone apparently knows about.” This was news to Sawyer, but not very important news. Which was good because Hollie was back to giving them both the look that somehow made Sawyer feet contrite and aroused at the same time.
“I know you weren’t the best of friends, but for fuck’s sake, if this is all because of me…” She came up short and rolled her head back until it rested against the wall behind her. “This is because of me.”
It wasn’t a question.
“Hollie.” Sawyer walked over to her, drawn to her conflict and challenging beauty even more now than he had ever been, desperate to make her see… See what? That they could be together, that somehow this insane relationship between them had a happy ending? There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell of that. It worked fine for Dec and Micah and it worked fine for Christian and Ryder too, but those men were friends, family to each other. Communication and trust came naturally to their relationships in a way he and Cade would never share.
Not that he had any plans of sharing.
And yet.
“We didn’t know why you ran away,” Cade explained, sitting on the edge of the couch and crossing his arms over his chest. “We didn’t know how you felt. We just both thought we had done something wrong.”
Apparently, they had done something wrong, hadn’t shown her a willingness to be open for discussion, hadn’t made her feel safe enough to share her secret. “We were young and both…” He shook his head and a part of Sawyer—not one he was entirely proud of—took a small amount of pleasure in the fact that Cade Easton didn’t always know the exact right thing to say. “We were both angry, Hollie. You knew our lives better than anyone. You knew that no one stuck around for kids like us, no one ever looked back when they drove away.” There was no denying the note of pain in Cade’s voice and Sawyer knew their paths ran a tangled parallel even without Hollie’s homecoming.
“I wasn’t leaving you.” God, if this woman started to cry Sawyer was cooked as a
Thanksgiving turkey. He’d seen Hollie cry only a handful of times in their shared years and it had almost brought him to his knees every time. “I was protecting you.” She raked her hand through her hair and gave an exasperated sigh. “It wasn’t just that I wanted you both,” she said quietly. “God only knows how much I wanted you.” This followed by a self-aware laugh that had Sawyer thinking about the firehouse bunker wall and the table in the lodge. “But it wasn’t just that.”
She stood up and start pacing in front of the fireplace, her movements hurried and fidgety. Then she stopped and looked him directly in the eye.
“I had feelings for you both,” she said, her voice calm and firm, as if she were acknowledging this truth for the first time out loud and it was somehow freeing her. Sawyer could understand that. “I had feelings for you both and I was terrified. Wes was gone, Gram was gone and I was falling in love with my two best friends. What would you have done?”
She tore her gaze from him and turned to Cade, who was looking at her in a way Sawyer had never seen before—and he’d been all too aware of the way Cade had always looked at her. Their relationship had been one of amicable distance, an understanding that Hollie had room in her life for them both and raising a fuss would only make her unhappy. They disagreed a lot, but he and Cade had both always done their best to make sure Hollie was happy.
How would love be any different from friendship?
But love was different and Sawyer didn’t see any way around that.
“Hollie, darlin’, you could have trusted us.” Cade was using his put down the gun voice and Sawyer wasn’t sure which of them it was for.
“Honestly, what would you have said?” She directed her question first at Cade, then at Sawyer who gave his head a slight shake.
“I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “But I wouldn’t have been sitting around for eight years wondering why I wasn’t good enough for an explanation, Hol. At least I would have known why.” This followed by a laugh. “And hell, who knows what might have happened down at the lake that night if you had said something.” Out of the corner of his eye, Sawyer saw Cade’s eyebrow raise. Then a smirk spread across his lips.