by Diana Bold
Julian leaned forward, intrigued. Though he considered Michael one of his closest friends, they weren’t in the habit of sharing secrets. “Of course. Consider me a vault.”
Sherbourne shook his head. “When I arrived, she kept me waiting for an eternity, then came down to greet me wearing nothing but a purple satin dressing gown.” He leaned back in his chair. “She is exquisite. I was utterly flummoxed. Made an utter ass of myself. She agreed to think about it but didn’t give me an answer. I feel I’ve ruined everything.”
The look of abject misery on Sherbourne’s face was the only thing that kept Julian from laughing outright. He couldn’t imagine his straitlaced friend confronted by such outlandish behavior. “Do you think she was having you on? Trying to see how you’d react?”
“I think that’s exactly what she was doing,” Sherbourne replied in a disgruntled tone. “I just didn’t think I’d be so... affected by her. She’s so lovely, so exciting. She terrifies me, if I’m being perfectly honest.”
This time, Julian couldn’t hold back his laughter. He felt for his friend, he truly did. But all he could think about was that this would give him another chance with Jane. He had a lot to make up for, and he knew the odds of her forgiving him were not in his favor. But he was no longer the stupid, selfish boy he’d once been, and he was determined to at least try. If nothing else, he wanted to find a way to help her financially, though he sensed that would be a battle as well, given her prideful independent streak.
OVER THE NEXT WEEK, Emma ran Viscount Sherbourne a merry chase, but at last, she agreed to his proposal. The morning after, she enlisted Jane’s help in penning a missive to her father. In it, she extolled Michael’s virtues and lineage, then pleaded with Blackjack Marks, the famous American railroad tycoon, to travel to London as quickly as possible.
“Don’t look so worried,” Jane said, once they’d sent a footman to post the letter. “Sherbourne is one of the best catches in England. Your father will be thrilled.”
“It’s not my father I’m worried about.” Emma shrugged. “What if I’m making a terrible mistake? Michael can be such a terrible snob.”
“You didn’t seem to mind when the two of you disappeared from the ball last night. You were practically glowing when you returned.” Jane had struggled mightily with her decision to let Emma sneak away with Sherbourne. She’d sensed that they needed a moment of privacy, but it had been a terrible risk. She shuddered to think what would have happened if anyone had caught them.
“Honestly, Jane. Sometimes you take your role as chaperone just a little too far.” Emma’s words held no real heat. The two women had built a solid friendship despite their differences. Jane liked to think they complemented each other.
“You don’t need a chaperone, Emma,” Jane teased. “You need a keeper.”
Emma laughed and slanted an arch look at Jane. “Lord Basingstoke will be at dinner tonight. Perhaps I’ll be the one who will need to chaperone you.”
Earlier, a beautifully handwritten invitation had arrived, asking Emma and Jane to a celebratory dinner at Michael’s father’s house. When she’d found out Julian was going to be there, she’d wanted mightily to decline, but she couldn’t. Wherever Emma went, she must go also.
Jane felt her face heat with embarrassment. “Lord Basingstoke meant nothing by his little display at the theater. He’s always been a bit of a showoff.”
“Lord Basingstoke?” Emma raised a brow. “Just a few nights ago, he was Julian.”
Jane sighed and met Emma’s knowing gaze. “A mere slip of the tongue. We knew each other as children and his immature antics made me regress.”
“Oh, I see.” Emma fought a smile.
Jane sank into the chair across from her and poured the tea from the breakfast tray, her practiced movements far less graceful than usual. “Are you nervous about dining with Lord Warren?”
“Yes, I am a little nervous,” Emma admitted, allowing Jane to change the subject. “He’s quite intimidating. I’m not sure how he’ll react to the thought of an American daughter-in-law.”
“He’ll hate it,” Jane replied. “But don’t take it personally. He’d manage to find fault with anybody Sherbourne chose.” She’d known the Blakes since she was a child, and the earl had always made her uncomfortable. He’d been cruel and abusive to Michael’s younger brother, Dylan, and he’d pressured Michael to become the perfect heir until he’d nearly snapped.
“Well, I’ll just have to do my best to charm him, won’t I?” Emma gave Jane a brief smile. “Help me find something to wear, Jane. Something very conservative.”
Jane took a quick mental inventory of Emma’s flamboyant wardrobe and then shook her head. “I don’t think you own anything conservative enough for dinner with the Earl of Warren. You’ll have to borrow something of mine.”
Chapter Three
When Sherbourne sent round a note asking Julian to join him, Miss Marks, Jane, and his father, the formidable Earl of Warren, for dinner to celebrate his engagement, Julian hastily agreed. Michael had a terrible relationship with his father, and Julian knew his friend wanted him to be there for moral support.
He arrived before the women, and Sherbourne’s look of relief was palpable. “Thanks for coming,” his friend told him, pulling him into a swift embrace that was completely unlike him.
Realizing that Sherbourne was truly nervous about the coming evening, Julian patted him comfortingly on the back before stepping away. “It will be all right.”
Michael laughed bitterly and turned to pour them both a drink. “My father is furious that I’ve gone ahead with this. He acts as though he’s given me any choice. As though there were a dozen other heiresses beating down my door.”
Julian accepted the drink and lifted it toward his friend in a sympathetic salute. “You did the right thing in refusing to marry Lady Natalia. She loves Dylan, and both of you would have been miserable if you’d made her give him up. You’ll be much happier with Miss Marks.” The woman the earl had chosen for Michael—Lady Natalia Sinclair, the daughter of a duke and also a great heiress—had run off a few weeks ago with Michael’s younger brother, Dylan, who was estranged from the family and wouldn’t contribute a farthing to their cause.
“Happy?” Sherbourne scoffed as if he’d never heard of such a thing. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy as long as my father lives.”
Before Julian could respond, the butler announced the women. Julian didn’t even hear the man’s words because the moment he caught sight of Jane, his heart squeezed in his chest. Her honey-blond hair was piled atop her head in a loose chignon, and her teal gown hugged her lush curves like a second skin, leaving little to the imagination. The creamy swells of her breasts took his breath away, and he forced himself to move his gaze to her warm blue eyes.
She seemed to be just as stricken as he, a faint flush on her lovely face as she stared at him with a longing she couldn’t hide. Memories of the past, of the kisses and confidences they’d shared and the love and support she’d given him during the hardest part of his life nearly overwhelmed him. What have I done? How could I have been so stupid?
He moved toward her, as though pulled by a thread, hoping she could see the sincerity in his eyes as he bent over her hand. “Good evening, Lady Jane. You’re looking lovely tonight.”
Her face flamed even brighter. “Thank you, Lord Basingstoke. You’re looking very well yourself.”
For the next ten or fifteen minutes, the four of them engaged in polite small talk, but although Julian couldn’t take his eyes off Jane, he gradually became aware of Michael’s growing unease.
“I don’t know what could be keeping my father,” Michael finally said, snapping his pocket watch closed. “I’ll go see what’s keeping him.”
The moment Michael left the room, Emma’s face fell. “The earl is refusing to come to dinner, isn’t he? He objects to our marriage so thoroughly he can’t even pretend to be polite.”
“I’m sure that’s not the cas
e,” Julian tried to assure her but knowing the old bastard as he did, he very much feared her words to be true.
Jane tried to distract her protégé with a tidbit of gossip as Julian paced the room, casting occasional covert looks at Jane while trying to think of a way to get her alone this evening. Though she was Emma’s chaperone, surely it would be all right for her to leave the engaged couple alone for a few minutes? He glanced at the clock with a frown. Given Emma’s rising agitation, he began to wonder if she’d call the whole thing off.
Nearly half an hour passed before Michael finally returned with his obviously disgruntled father in tow. Dinner was unbearable. Even though Julian had been warned, he couldn’t believe the way Warren behaved. The earl was terribly rude to Emma, then stormed out halfway through the meal, claiming he had another engagement.
Silence reigned in the dining room for several moments after the earl took his leave, and Jane exchanged a shocked look with Julian, both of them stunned by the way Michael’s father had treated his future daughter-in-law.
Recovering herself, Miss Marks drained her glass of wine and got to her feet. “I just remembered that I also have another pressing engagement.” Her words were carefully precise, but the pain in her voice gave her away. “Shall we go, Jane?”
Jane gave an uncertain nod.
Michael cast a pleading glance in Julian’s direction, obviously hoping he would take pity on him. “Julian, would you escort Lady Jane down to the conservatory and show her the orchids? I’d like a few moments alone with Miss Marks.”
Julian frowned even though he wanted nothing more than to escape to the conservatory with Jane. Miss Marks had done well under the earl’s insults, holding her own and refusing to cower as he’d wanted, but she looked on the verge of tears. He met her dark gaze, finding himself on her side in this matter. If she wanted to leave, he wasn’t going to impede her. “Is that all right with you, Miss Marks? I can call for your coachman, if you prefer.”
Michael threw Julian a glare, then got to his feet and came to stand behind his fiancée, touching her shoulder tentatively. “Please. I need to talk to you.”
Miss Marks cleared her throat then nodded jerkily. “As a matter of fact, there are some things I want to say to you, too.”
Julian shook his head. Poor Michael. Miss Marks was no wilting flower and seemed rightfully upset that Michael hadn’t stood up to his father on her behalf. She’d probably give him an earful once they were alone. Michael would be lucky if she let the engagement stand.
He turned his gaze on Jane, wondering if he’d fare any better than Michael. Jane had years’ worth of anger to share with him, he was sure. But ever since she’d reentered his life the other day, she’d been haunting his thoughts. He had to at least try to mend things between them.
He stood and went to her side, taking her hand and drawing her to her feet. Her scent, a lovely combination of lavender and vanilla, filled his senses. “Shall we?” he asked softly.
“We’ll be back shortly,” Jane promised, a worried look on her face as he steered her toward the door.
JANE ENDURED THE SLIGHT pressure of Julian’s hand on her waist until they were safely away from the dining room. Then she shook him off, desperate to hide the fact that his slightest touch still had the power to turn her into a lovesick fool.
She hated herself for her weakness. This man had destroyed her. How was it possible to still want him so badly? All during the interminable dinner, she’d found her gaze drawn to him repeatedly, much to her chagrin. He’d caught her staring at him more than once, but she’d tried to play it off, tried to pretend that he wasn’t the most handsome man she’d ever seen.
Julian paused, staring down at her with those moody dark eyes that always saw too much. “Do you hate me, Jane?”
Stunned by his blunt question, she stepped back, inadvertently trapping herself between the wall and Julian’s big lean body. “You give yourself far too much credit, Julian. I haven’t even thought about you in years.”
He moved in and braced his hands on either side of her head, a faint smile curving his lips. “Liar.”
His scent overwhelmed her, the intoxicating mix of leather and man that dredged up memories best left forgotten. Taking a deep breath, she placed her hands on the muscular wall of his chest and tried to shove him away. “Surely, you have better things to do than toy with the emotions of a spinster.”
He refused to budge, and she knew she’d made a terrible tactical error. The warm, tantalizing swell of his chest teased her fingers. The desire to touch him overwhelmed her.
“Oh, Jane,” he murmured. “You’re far too lovely to be a spinster. I can’t believe that you are. I thought you’d married someone else ages ago.”
“If you cared at all, you would have kept track of me.” She shook her head. “You’re the one who hasn’t given me a second thought.”
“I’m thinking of you now. Ever since I saw you the other night at the theater, I’ve been remembering how it used to be between us... How you used to kiss me so sweetly...” He lowered his head and pressed his lips to her forehead, a tender caress that made her ache for what could have been.
She closed her eyes against him and prayed for strength. “I was a fool, Julian. I believed you when you said you loved me.”
“Maybe I did love you.” His voice was low and rough, his mouth mere inches from her ear. “God knows I’ve never felt that way about anyone else.”
“You didn’t love me.” At last, her disappointment managed to eclipse the need to be in his arms again. She ducked beneath his arm and glared at him from a few feet away. “You ran away from me when I needed you most.”
Julian remained where he was, one arm braced against the wall, the other clenched at his side. “I’m sorry. I was criminally stupid. Can you ever forgive me?”
“No.” Jane resisted the urge to smooth the dark silky hair from his forehead. “It’s too late for that, Julian. Years too late.”
He didn’t protest when she spun on her heels and took her leave, going to wait for Emma in the foyer, her hands trembling as she put on her wrap. Stupid tears stung her eyes, and she was forced to admit that she’d hoped that he would come after her, that he’d act as though he really meant his apology. But he was obviously just trying to be polite, trying to make things easier, since they were going to see so much of each other over the coming months.
As she squared her shoulders and forced the tears away, she knew she’d do practically anything for the chance to cheat time. If only she could go back to that summer when she’d been seventeen and Julian Tremaine had been the center of her world...
She could still remember the first time he’d kissed her, the way they’d held each other and whispered secrets. They’d created their own little world at the hunting cottage on her father’s land, and she’d truly thought it would last forever. Those had undoubtedly been the best days of her life.
But his betrayal had wounded her deeply, so much so that she’d turned down the few prospective suitors she’d had in the years since. She’d given up on all thoughts of marrying or having a family of her own, all because she couldn’t risk being hurt that deeply again.
She had to keep reminding herself of that and ignore his sweet words and insincere apologies.
Chapter Four
“I need to talk to you,” Jane told Emma later that evening, perching on the edge of a small sofa when they arrived back at her townhouse. “It’s about Julian.”
She couldn’t keep her feelings to herself any longer. For too long, she’d held her anger for Julian deep inside her, telling no one what had happened all those years ago. In truth, she’d never really allowed herself to get close to anyone since Julian had hurt her so deeply. Still, despite the financial aspect of their relationship, she and Emma had become good friends, and she desperately needed a friend now. She needed someone to tell her that she’d been right to walk away from him tonight.
Emma sank into the chair across from Jane, he
r troubled dark eyes brightening a bit. She’d been very quiet on the ride home, and Jane knew she was grappling with doubts of her own. The earl had treated her deplorably, and Michael had not defended her as he should have. “Tell me everything. I’m absolutely dying to know.”
“I love him,” Jane admitted, the words spilling out of her far more quickly than she’d intended. “I’ve loved him since I was a child.”
“Oh, Jane,” Emma whispered sadly, immediately understanding the futility of her sentiments.
Jane buried her face in her hands, unable to look her friend in the eyes. “His country estate bordered my father’s. He was eight the first time I met him. I’m sure you can imagine how he dazzled my six-year-old country heart. He went away to school, so I didn’t see him for many years, but he returned when he inherited the title. There was such an air of tragedy about him. He’d lost nearly all his family in a series of unfortunate accidents, and I wanted to comfort him.”
Emma moved to sit beside her and placed a consoling arm around her shoulders. “Well, you must have succeeded. I certainly wouldn’t describe him as tragic now.”
Jane lifted her head, tears springing to her eyes. “Oh, but he is tragic. He’s just grown so much better at hiding it.” She dropped her gaze and twisted her hands in her lap. “I’m afraid I let him take dreadful liberties, Emma. My only defense is that I loved him so much. I couldn’t imagine his feelings were not as strong as mine.”
“What happened?” Emma asked.
Jane drew a deep shuddering breath. “My father died, and Julian didn’t seem to know how to be there for me the way I’d always been there for him. He distanced himself, went to London, and before long, I started hearing rumors that he’d been courting other women.”
“Oh, Jane. I’m so sorry.”
Jane shrugged. “I’m embarrassed to admit how long I waited for him to come back. Months. Years, perhaps. I rejected other suitable prospects, until eventually, I found myself with no prospects at all. And now, all these years later, after I was so certain I’d finally gotten over him, here he is, once again in my life. I don’t know what he’s playing at or why he’s pretending a renewed interest in me. Perhaps he just finds it amusing to tie my heart in knots.”