by C. Sunrise
“Traditionally, shifters with different inner animals, like dogs and cats, aren’t permitted to mix, not even as friends,” Mama says with sadness underlying her voice.
“This was said to ensure our shifter bloodlines stay pure and strong,” Papa explains. “So, we don’t know if other shifters have ever attempted to mix with shifters from another species. This means that you’ll be of great interest to many individuals out there.” Papa pauses and looks at me quizzically as my eyes glaze over. “Pup? Are you still with us? I know this is a lot to take in.”
I just sit there, trying to catch flies in my mouth. I don’t know how long my mouth has been open, but based on the dryness, it has been a while.
“Well, I think we broke her... again.” Momma smirks and shakes her head.
“Sie!” Papa calls out, snapping his fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Sie! Did you get all that?”
I smack my lips together a few times as my brain shifts enough neuronal activity to regain control of my body. “Two weeks ago, I was just an average young woman,” I state, not hiding my shock and confusion. “Working my dream job, partying with my bestie, watching movies, and tripping all over the place. Now, I’m the most wanted Princess Animal Shapeshifter. Anything else you want to let me know?” The sarcasm is dripping off my tongue as I speak. Sarcasm has always been my go-to when I’m overwhelmed or unsure of how to respond in a situation.
“Well, actually there is another thing you should know now,” Papa says as he cringes and shifts his body uncomfortably. “It’s about the boys.” He looks at me cautiously.
“Let me guess,” I interrupt before he continues. “As part of my super-Royal-magic-blood duty, I’m supposed to mate with every Royal male in the land to ensure the strongest bloodlines continue until the end of time.”
I wish I had a camera right now. The look on Papa’s face is pure gold. He looks absolutely mortified by the thought of what I just said. Momma, on the other hand, struggles to stifle her laughter.
“No dear, not quite,” Momma replies, clearing her throat and allowing Papa to regain his composure. “But once a shifter turns twenty-five, she releases pheromones, or scents, that will make her irresistible to males.” Papa crosses his arms and clenches his jaw as Momma continues. “And you will start feeling intense urges to be with someone; your hormones will be all over the place. Usually, the attraction only works with males of your own kind, but because you are a special hybrid shifter, it seems to be different for you.”
“Does this mean I’m going to have a bunch of animals trying to hump my legs at work?” I ask. This is a valid question in my mind considering my entire day revolves around direct contact with several animals. “Note to self: do not bend over at work.” I laugh awkwardly.
That is my response to all of this? I hear all this information and I’m worried about Mitzy the poodle trying to sexually assault me at work. That’s it, this is the moment where I have officially lost it. I’m just going to walk myself to the nearest psychiatric facility.
“No, silly,” Papa replies, as confused by my outburst as I am. “No animals are going to molest you at work.”
“Well, that is good to know.” I reply, still hanging on to my sarcasm.
“But...” Momma waits for me to make eye contact before continuing. “You will attract other shifters, particularly Royals. And the attraction can be very intense. Some shifters, especially Royals, have literally fought to the death over a woman.”
“And it’s even more intense if the shifter happens to be your mate,” Papa cautions. “Most shifters mate for life, so if a person is your mate it means you have a bond with them that goes beyond love and marriage, your animal and human souls are essentially intertwined. A mate is a soulmate.”
I raise my brow at Papa. First, I find out the world is full of shape-shifting creatures. Then I find out I’m one of them. Now, they’re telling me that soulmates are really a thing. Did I step into the Twilight Zone or something?
“Not everyone will meet their mate and there have been a few rare instances where someone has had more than one mate,” Momma adds, pulling me from my musing. “But if you meet your mate, you’ll know it.” Momma turns to face Papa and continues with a gleam in her eyes. “You’ll feel a strange pull towards them, an urge to be near them. You might feel suddenly attracted to someone, who you didn’t feel that strongly about before you turned twenty-five or even someone who you’ve never met before. You’ll have an immediate connection with your mate and will feel best when you are with them and terrible when you are apart. These feelings will only grow stronger with time. Does any of this sound familiar?”
My parents both turn and face me. I think for a second as the blood vessels in my cheeks respond, causing a brilliant red blush to appear. “Yes, kind of. I thought I was losing my mind, or that I had a tumour that threw me and my hormones out of whack.”
My parents chuckle knowingly.
“Oh, Pup. There were days when I would literally take the door off its hinges just to get to Momma.” Papa turns and gives Momma a disturbing ‘hungry-eyes’ look—a look parents should never give each other in front of their children.
“And the things we would do after-” Momma begins before I cough to stop her.
“No!” I shout. “You will stop right there! Do not pass go! Do not collect two hundred dollars!” I point angrily at them. “Some people’s children, I tell ya.”
I give them an exaggerated eye-roll and then shake my head and they both adopt goofy smiles. Papa gently massages Mommas shoulder. It looks like they are waiting for me to process everything, or maybe they just don’t know what else to say right now.
Seems as good a time as any to ask some questions.
“You said that all animals and humans are linked, does this mean Batman is real?” I ask. “Or what about shark people? Baby shark do-do-do-do-do-do.” I sing and wiggle my body, doing my impression of a shark dance. I’m partially serious but of everything I was just told I’m not sure why this is the first thing that came out of my mouth. I was always smart and did very well in school, but sometimes my mouth likes to make people think otherwise.
Momma laughs. “Well, technically no. But there are shifters who have bats as their inner animal.”
“So, vampires are real then?” I appreciate that my parents know me well enough to humour me and give me a real answer to my questions, even if they sound like childish questions at times. They’re the ones who always taught me there was no such thing as a stupid question—I guess that backfired on them.
“Yes, but not like what you see in the movies,” Papa replies, with a shrug. “They aren’t soulless creatures, running around sucking everyone’s blood, having wild orgies, and turning everyone into vampires. Well, at least not the blood and turning people into vampires part.” He smirks, and Momma and I snicker at his comment. “That being said, like humans there are good and bad in every animal, even bats. Meaning that there are some of us out there who do bad things when we let our inner animal take control.”
I nod my head, accepting his answer. I have so many more questions related to this, but there are more pressing questions to ask right now.
“Why are my eyes and hair changing colour?” I ask, finally getting to the important issues.
“We aren’t quite sure, but we’re doing some research on that right now,” Papa says as he strokes his chin between his thumb and index finger. “Our initial guess is that it might be because you are a Prime and Royal hybrid, but we need to look into this more. It could also be because your inner animal spirit is trying to come to the surface but is struggling because you haven’t been trained. We’ll let you know as soon as we have answers for you.”
I nod. I can’t deny that I’m a little disappointed that they don’t have an answer.
How am I supposed to keep something a secret when my body keeps betraying me?
I let out a sigh of frustration. “Are my hormones going to calm down anytime soon?”
“Unfortunately, your hormones and pheromones will go crazy until you have successfully mated,” Momma says as she scrunches her face, knowing I’m not going to be pleased with this.
“You mean I’ll be like this until I get married or knocked-up? Fantastic—said no one ever.” I’m thinking they were on to something with Rapunzel.
Cage me up in a tower somewhere and let my hair and eyes do whatever they want, and at least then I won’t have to worry about crazy males busting down doors to get into my pants.
“Speaking of attracting attention, who is looking for me and how have we stayed hidden for so long?” I ask.
“My family and every other Royal family would look for you, Kitten,” Momma says as she bows her head, drawing her eyes away from my eyes and towards my bed. “You’re of great value to them, not as an individual but as an experiment, a lab rat. Also, you would be seen as a weak link to the Royal bloodlines.” Her lip curls, showing the disgust she feels for the people she once called her family. Her parents. Her siblings.
“How have we stayed hidden for so long?” I ask, hoping to distract Momma from the anger and disappointment she feels about her family. It works, and she lifts her gaze back to me with a slight smile on her face.
“We have learned how to control our animal spirit, hide our power, and mask our scent,” Papa says nonchalantly. “We have learned when and where it is safe to let our inner animal out, which is why we live out in the countryside. Every time we feel like we are going to lose control, we risk being detected. Out here we have enough space and freedom to keep our secret safe. We can run around the forest, and the hillsides without being detected. We also try to stay away from others like us. It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“Except Bel and Percy and now Kace and Jay. Are you worried about Kace and Jay finding out who you are?” I ask, fearing we will have to move and hide from people who I’ve become rather attached to.
Momma looks over at Papa, who thinks for a second before he replies. “Yes, and no. Kace and Jay already know what we are. I’m sure Kace also suspects we’re Royals because he bowed his head to me, which is what you do when you meet someone of a higher rank than you. Depending on Kace’s rank, he might not know that I’m a Prime, but he knows that I’m a high-ranking Royal. I don’t know for sure how balanced Kace is, but I feel like he’s a high-ranking Royal too. I could feel the power radiating off him.”
“Papa looked into Kace and his parents and they appear to be good people,” Momma says, noticing the look of concern that spread across my face as Papa was speaking. “He also seems to genuinely care about you. But we need to you be safe, Kitten. You need to make sure you’re careful about who you tell our secrets to.”
I heed her words of caution. I don’t feel like I truly have a grasp on the situation enough to even risk a conversation with anyone about this. Aside from my parents, of course.
“Thank you for telling me all of this,” I say followed by a heavy sigh. “It’s very overwhelming. Why didn’t you tell me any of this sooner? Why did you all keep these secrets from me? Didn’t you trust me to keep our secrets?” My brain has clearly done with processing what they’ve told me and is letting my emotions seep in.
Momma and Papa both look ashamed and sad.
“To be honest, we were hoping we would never have to tell you,” Momma says, her voice cracking.
“We hoped that being a Prime-Royal hybrid from different species meant that you wouldn’t be balanced and that you could live your life as a human,” Papa confesses. “You had shown no signs of being balanced until recently. But we’re happy that you’re balanced. We can’t wait to show you how to control your inner animal and how to shift.”
Momma nods and their eyes light up with excitement and perhaps a hint of pride.
“But we’ll take it slow,” Momma cautions. “You need time to adjust to what you’ve heard.”
Papa smiles. “I have some books I’ll give you that tell you more about our history. Then you can take your time and read up on things and we can work on training when you feel ready.” His excitement is palpable.
“Look, I appreciate everything you have done for me, and I appreciate your honesty and enthusiasm.” I pause to focus on my breathing and rein in my emotions. “But I still feel like everyone I know betrayed me by making me live a lie my entire life. I’m upset that you all thought it was okay to keep these secrets from me my entire life and sad that I feel like I can’t trust anyone anymore. I feel alone.” I look down at my bed, unable to look at my parents as I continue to confess my thoughts and feelings. “It will take me time to process all of this and I know you never meant to hurt me but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
I look up and see the sorrow in my parents’ eyes—the tears that threaten to fall from their eyes upon hearing my words. I remind myself that everything that they did was coming from a place of love. They aren’t bad people, they just made bad choices. I know they would never willingly hurt me.
“That being said,” I add with a forced smile. “I know I’m upset now, but I still want you to go and enjoy your trip. I’m just in shock at the moment and maybe some time to myself is exactly what I need right now. I’m sure you can understand.”
To be honest, I don’t know if I can look at them every day and be able to forgive them. My life is utterly messed up, and they could have prepared me for it. Hell, they could have at least told me all about animal spirits and shifting when I was a kid, then this wouldn’t come as such a life-shattering revelation. But for some reason, they chose to keep secrets from me.
“So, promise me you’ll go on your trip tomorrow and have the best time ever. You deserve it, you deserve happiness. We can talk when you get home.” I use all my energy to force a reassuring smile. I know they won’t want to leave me if they think I’m struggling. “That’s an order!”
They both look at me for a moment, attempting to read my body language and find any signs of deception. My resolve is unwavering. I guess I have my parents to thank for my uncanny ability to tell a lie and hide my true feelings. Finally, my parents look at each other and nod.
“You’re an amazing woman, Kitten,” Momma says as she smiles at me. “I’m so proud to be your Momma. If you swear you’ll be okay, then we promise we’ll go and enjoy our trip.” She raises an eyebrow at me and points her finger for emphasis.
“We love you so much,” Papa adds. “You’re the greatest thing to happen to us.”
Damn, they’re good. Why do they have to make it so hard to be mad at them?
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I say as I roll my eyes. “I love you too. Now get out of here and finish packing. Go on! Get!” I wave my hand and shoo them out of my room.
“All right, all right, we’re going,” Momma says. “Sheesh.”
Papa grabs her hand and pulls her off of my bed. They both turn and smile at me before they walk out of my room, closing the door behind them.
I tried my best to keep the conversation positive for my parents. I know they did what they thought was right, but boy oh boy, do I ever feel hurt. A few days ago, I had my life all figured out and now I don’t even know who I am anymore. Or what I am. This is too much, even for me.
I... I... I can’t... I don’t...
My emotions finally break through.
Today I feel, tomorrow I heal.
I flop face-down onto the bed, bury my face in the pillow, and cry myself to sleep.
TEN
So, my life is one big messy lie. Could there be someone from Momma and Papa’s past who wants me here? Maybe someone from Momma’s family? They did kind of sound like assholes, so I wouldn’t put it past them. Or could the people who raised me, who I loved and gave me no reason to think they didn’t love me back, do something like this to me? Or what about the men who have worked their way into my life and my heart? Or maybe someone else?
Why, though? What would be the reason for any of them to do this to me? They wouldn’t. They could
n’t.
That being said, everyone in my life lied to me every day and I had no idea. Who knows what any of them are truly capable of? Nothing makes sense to me anymore.
My stomach growls, and my bladder aches. The animal within claws at the surface, begging for a chance to come out. I don’t know how much longer I can fight my primal instincts. My survival instincts. The four primary drives: fight, flight, fornicate, and feed are all plaguing me right now. Even a shifter with a lifetime of training to control their inner animal would struggle right now… and I don’t have a lifetime of training. All I can do is continue searching my memories for answers.
ELEVEN
You know that feeling you get after you’ve spent the whole night crying? By crying, I mean ugly crying. The puffy eyes, throbbing head, and sore throat from screaming into the pillow all night.
That was my night.
Saying I feel like shit today would be an understatement. I feel like a monumental pile of shit—dinosaur shit. Good thing dinosaurs aren’t still around; I would die on the spot if I ever saw someone randomly shift into T-Rex. Heck, I almost died watching Percy turn into a cute little kitty.
I wonder what the first shapeshifter was. Woolly mammoth? Sabre-toothed cat? Cave bears? Giant ground sloths? All the above?
Damn you, curious mind. Just stop now.
I’ve always struggled to keep my curiosity in check. My mind never shuts off. I have a journal in the nightstand beside my bed for those genius thoughts or questions I come up with at two in the morning. It’s especially helpful when I try to negotiate sleep with my mind. Some nights, jotting down notes is the only way my mind will let me sleep.