by Annie Rains
He reached for her hand as it fell back into her lap but she pulled it away.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. I, um, just wanted to tell you that I’m leaving.” She quickly stood from the chair, making Shadow rise as well.
“To return Kaitlyn’s car? How will you get back? I don’t want to leave Maddie alone right now.”
“No, I’m not coming back, Tuck. I’m about to pack up my stuff. The B and B has a room available, and I’m taking it.” She smiled stiffly. “I got an interview for the job I wanted so I’m heading back to New York. I spoke to my landlady a few minutes ago. My apartment is free and clear.”
“Just like that?” he asked, feeling like he’d been sucker punched in the gut. He thought he’d lost Maddie this afternoon but apparently it was Josie that he was losing.
“We both knew it was just a matter of time,” she said, still holding that smile.
“What about us?” he asked.
“Us?” She met his eyes, a coolness to her expression. “What about us? This was fun, and I appreciate you allowing me to stay here. I think I’m paid in full on my rent so everything is tied up nice and neatly.”
Was she serious right now? Because she sure as hell looked it. “Fun,” he repeated. It’d been more than just a good time to him.
“Well, you’ve been a great friend as well. Thank you for fixing my knee. And for helping me with the issue with Bart. Will you tell Maddie that I’m glad she’s okay? Tell her that I’ll FaceTime her from the city. I’ll show her some of the skyscrapers she wanted to see.” Josie nodded but didn’t wait for him to respond to anything she’d just rattled off. He wasn’t even sure he knew how to respond. “Okay, well, I’ll see you around.” She offered a weak smile that didn’t touch her beautiful blue eyes.
His heart screamed for him to do something, change her mind, beg her to choose him over some job that would never make her happy. He knew it wouldn’t. Instead, he clamped his jaw tightly shut. If this was what she wanted, he wouldn’t stop her. Maybe he was the fool for thinking there was something longer lasting between them.
“Goodbye, Tuck.” She waved and then hurried down the steps, disappearing to the garage apartment next door.
He didn’t return the sentiment. The Cherokee didn’t say goodbye. They said donadagohvi. Till we meet again. But some part of him wondered, when Josie left to go back to New York, if she would ever return to Hope Cottage.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Two hours later, at nearly nine p.m., Josie was back where she started in the Pride and Prejudice room at the Sweetwater Bed and Breakfast. The room had come available this afternoon when someone had canceled their reservation. Things had fallen into place like they were meant to be but she didn’t feel like anything was right at all.
“I come offering chocolate,” Kaitlyn said, peeking her head inside the room. “You okay?”
“If you indeed have chocolate, then you can come in,” Josie said, sitting up in bed. She set her laptop on the nightstand. Her plane ticket was booked for late tomorrow afternoon.
Kaitlyn climbed onto the other side of the bed to sit beside her and placed a bag of dark chocolate between them. “Want to tell me what happened and why you suddenly needed to come here? Why are you in such a hurry to leave?”
“I was supposed to leave last month, remember?” Josie asked as she unwrapped a piece of candy. “And I already told you my apartment is available, and I have a job interview. It’s time.”
Kaitlyn reached for a chocolate as well. “I still can’t believe you quit Loving Life magazine. You loved working there.”
“It’s called The Vibe now,” Josie corrected. “And loved is the key word.”
Kaitlyn was staring at her. “So what happened with Tuck?”
Josie swallowed and gave her head a quick shake. “You were right. We got in over our heads.”
“I never said that. I said you liked him, and I think that’s great.”
“No, it isn’t. He’s a dad, and I’m just Josie.” She held up her hand. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not having a pity party. I have great self-esteem. I just know my strengths and weaknesses. I’m not good with kids, and I’m getting in the way there.”
“I doubt that.”
Josie leveled her with a look. “Maddie ran away, Kaitlyn.”
“And you found her! Doesn’t that count for something?”
Josie frowned. “Not if the reason she ran away was because of me.” Josie had already told Kaitlyn the full story of what happened, swearing her to secrecy. If Tuck knew, he’d be torn on what to do. Josie wasn’t torn. Maddie needed him and that was all there was to know. Josie was a grown woman. She could take care of herself just like she always had.
Kaitlyn smiled weakly. “I really thought you two had a chance. I wish things were different for you.”
Josie reached for another chocolate and popped it into her mouth. “Me too.”
* * *
“Looking good, Mr. Sajack,” Tuck said, walking beside his patient the next day.
Mr. Sajack looked over and laughed. “Well, you’re looking plumb awful. What’s wrong with you? You sick? If you are, my wife makes the best chicken soup. It’ll knock whatever’s ailing you right out.”
Tuck shook his head. “I’m not sick. I’m fine.”
“Well, you look crummy.” Mr. Sajack put one foot in front of the other, going faster than he had even a week ago as he walked toward his mailbox.
“You know, you’re great for my self-esteem,” Tuck said sarcastically, sounding like Maddie.
Mr. Sajack laughed so hard it threatened to throw him off balance.
“Easy there. You’re doing too good these days to fall and have a setback,” Tuck said.
“Don’t worry about me.” Mr. Sajack reached his mailbox, pivoted the way Tuck had taught him, and reached to pull down the lid. “What do you know? I have mail. Probably bills and whatnot.”
“That’s what you say every time,” Tuck said on a humorless laugh. He didn’t feel like exchanging jovial banter.
“That’s because it’s true.” Mr. Sajack placed the stack of letters in his fanny pack and turned to face his house. “Now I’m going to leave you in my dust while I make my way back to my TV for the news at noon. That broadcaster Serena Gibbs is a looker.”
“Don’t let Mrs. Sajack hear you say that. She might cancel your cable.”
Mr. Sajack wobbled slightly as he chuckled again. “She just might.”
After leaving Mr. Sajack’s place, Tuck drove downtown. The spot in his schedule that Claire Donovan had held wasn’t filled yet so he stopped into Halona’s flower shop for a bouquet.
Halona had several customers when he walked in. He browsed around the displays as he waited for her to finish up.
“Hey,” she finally said, walking over. “Flowers today?”
He nodded.
“For?”
She’d never had to ask before. There’d only been one woman in his life. Now there were three. His late wife. His daughter. And the woman he was in love with. Except the third option was no longer his, and these flowers were for none of the above.
“Nosy much?” he asked, dodging the question.
Halona put her hands on her waist. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just ask that.”
He grinned.
“Just give me a few minutes.” She started collecting flowers from her freezer and set to binding them together as Tuck watched.
“How is Josie anyway?” she asked, leading him to believe that’s who she thought the arrangement was for.
He swallowed thickly. “She’s great. Her apartment in New York is open again, and she has a job interview up there that she’s excited about. Life is apparently working out perfectly for her.”
Halona stopped working and looked at him sadly. “Oh, Tuck.”
He looked away. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I just want the flowers.”
She hesitated and then retur
ned to working. She tied a lavender ribbon around the bunch and handed them over. “Here you go. Tell Renee I said hello.”
“Thanks, but I’m not stopping by Renee’s grave today.” He winked playfully even though his mood was anything but. He didn’t bother trying to pay Halona. She never took his money anyway.
“Bring Maddie over here one day, okay?” Halona said, still fishing to see if that’s who they were for as he headed for the door. “I’m ready to say hello to my niece.”
He had to smile. “I’m picking her up after school. Maybe we’ll go grab ice cream together.”
Halona grinned. “Sounds like fun, big brother. How about I invite you two over for dinner next week?”
“That’d be great,” he said. “And the flowers aren’t for Maddie either,” he called over his shoulder before slipping out the door, satisfied that Halona would likely be going nuts for the rest of the day, trying to guess who the arrangement was for. Then he got into his Jeep and drove to the edge of town, parking in Forest Grove Cemetery.
Renee was buried in Sweetwater Cemetery near the river. He visited often and was used to walking among the graves there. This burial place was shadier. There were flowers lying at the various sites.
He headed all the way down the path, just as the cemetery caretaker had instructed him a moment earlier, until he came to a headstone that read CRYSTAL BETHANY SANDERS. BELOVED MOTHER AND DAUGHTER.
Tuck stared at the granite headstone with a statue of an angel adorning the top.
He stepped closer until he was standing right in front of the place where she was buried. There were so many questions he wanted to ask and things he wanted to say. They all caught in his throat. As it was with his late wife, Crystal wasn’t here anymore. He believed that her spirit was free. Visiting headstones was for the visitor—him—and there was only one thing he needed to get off his chest right now.
“I forgive you.”
He wasn’t sure what Crystal’s reasons were for hiding Maddie from him. Facing parenthood was terrifying. When Crystal had discovered that she was pregnant, they’d been broken up. Maybe she was mad at him. Maybe she thought he wouldn’t step up to the fatherhood plate so why bother telling him?
“I’ll be a good dad to our daughter,” he promised, voice cracking. “Beverly will always be in our lives. I’ll make sure our daughter remembers you and knows that you loved her, because I know that’s true.” A mother’s heart was selfless. They made choices in the best interests of their children. Whatever Crystal’s reasons, wrong as they were, he had to believe she’d made them out of love.
He placed the flowers on her grave site and then turned, retracing his steps back to his Jeep. He felt lighter somehow as he got behind the steering wheel. Carrying around blame for someone who’d robbed you of something was tiresome—almost as tiresome as loving someone who didn’t love you back—and he needed all his energy for Maddie.
* * *
The spring air was cool and crisp as Josie walked the hiking trail behind the bed and breakfast. There was a sign that told her to stay on the trail.
Don’t worry about that, she thought, remembering when Tuck had come to her rescue a month ago. So much had changed since then, and yet she was still the same old Josie.
Dogwoods bloomed from where they bordered the path. She admired them as she processed all her many feelings and thoughts. She was already packed. In an hour, Kaitlyn would be driving her to the airport.
The walking trail looped and headed back to the inn at the one-mile marker. As she rounded the bend in the path, there was a flash of color in front of her. She stilled and located the purple finch on the limb of a bordering pine. Tuck had suggested that the creature was her spirit animal.
“What are you trying to tell me, little bird?” she whispered.
Its wings fluttered like it might take off at the sound of her voice but it didn’t. Instead, it stayed awhile, watching her just like she was watching it. When it finally did take off, Josie didn’t chase after it this time. She was done following colorful birds, and her heart. At least where Tuck was concerned.
“Nice walk?” Kaitlyn asked when Josie entered through the back door. Mr. Darcy left Kaitlyn’s side and beelined toward Josie’s leg.
Josie patted the pup’s head. “Very. I wish I had a trail behind my New York apartment to do that every day.”
“You have Central Park,” Kaitlyn said on a laugh.
“Not the same. Nature-watching is very different from people-watching. Both have their advantages though.”
Josie retrieved her luggage from where she’d set them beside the door.
“Ready?” Kaitlyn asked, pulling her purse on her shoulder.
That was a loaded question. Was anyone ever ready to say goodbye to the people they loved? Kaitlyn was her best friend, and she loved her.
And she loved Tuck in a whole different way. A way that made it hard to breathe.
“Ready,” she lied.
On the ride to the airport, Kaitlyn carried the conversation, talking about guests and upcoming plans for the inn.
“I wish you could be here for that,” she said wistfully, keeping her eyes on the road ahead.
Josie blinked, realizing she hadn’t heard a word that Kaitlyn had said. “For what?”
“For the concert series in Evergreen Park this summer. If you were staying, Tuck could take you. I hear that couples get up and dance barefoot on the lawn. It sounds so romantic. It might make a great article too,” Kaitlyn suggested. “Just saying.”
Josie looked at Kaitlyn. “Michelle at Carolina Home will probably write about it. But Tuck and I are over. I can’t use him for a story.”
“Of course not. I just thought you might want to come back and see him—that’s all. The story angle was just my way of trying to convince you. Food is the way to a man’s heart, and work is the way to yours.”
“That makes me sound so cold,” Josie mumbled as she white-knuckled the door handle and tried not to look out the window.
“Stop that. You’re being a Debbie Downer. I get it. You just broke up with a guy but that was all on you. It was your choice, not his, so you don’t get to sulk.”
“Yes, I do,” Josie protested. “I had no choice.”
“You always have a choice, Jo. There’s the right one and the wrong one.”
Josie turned to her. “You think I’m making the wrong choice?”
“Of course I do. You and Tuck are great together.” Kaitlyn looked over at her.
“Eyes on the road! We’re on a very tall mountain,” Josie exclaimed, reflexively reaching for the sides of her seat to brace herself in case Kaitlyn’s car plunged off a cliff.
Kaitlyn giggled, returning her gaze forward. “Don’t worry. I’m a pro at mountain driving these days. You’re in safe hands with me.”
Josie continued to grip the seat anyway. “Where is Shadow when I need her to soothe me?” she mumbled to herself.
“I can do a U-turn and take you to her,” Kaitlyn suggested.
“No! No U-turns on the mountain!” And besides, Josie wasn’t going back, no matter how much she wanted to. Kaitlyn was wrong. This was the right choice.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Tuck had been sitting in the car pool line in front of Maddie’s school for half an hour. Now it was finally starting to budge. Maddie had asked him to pick her up today instead of making her take the bus, which she claimed to loathe. He didn’t blame her there. When he was a student, he hadn’t been fond of the school’s transportation either.
When he got to the front of the school, Maddie walked his way. She was barely leaning on the cane now. In the next month, she might be able to say goodbye to it altogether.
“Hey,” he said, his heart quickening at the sight of her. How could he love someone he only just met? He’d been asking himself that question a lot these days.
She got in, pulled the door shut, and yanked her seat belt across her body. When he heard it click into place, he pressed the
gas and followed the loop that led back to the main road.
“How was school today?” he asked.
“Boring,” Maddie huffed.
“I thought you liked school.”
“I do but it’s still boring.” She folded her arms over her chest and looked out the passenger-side window.
“That just means you’re not being challenged. Did your test go well?”
“I think I got a perfect score,” she said with a confident smile.
“That’s my girl! Things going well at home with your grandma?” he asked then. Even though they’d spent quite a bit of time together over the past several days, he hadn’t thought to ask how things had been at home with Beverly recently.
“Well enough. I’m going to miss being with you and Josie when I go home.”
Maddie was already in bed when Josie had left last night. She hadn’t gotten the memo that there was no he and Josie anymore. His heart hadn’t quite gotten that memo yet either. He’d awoken this morning dreaming about her. She’d been in his arms, and they’d been making love. It was so real that he could smell her lavender scent. He could almost feel her soft skin brushing against his. When his eyes had sprung open, he’d glanced to the other side of the bed, looking for her. Then that raw and searing pain had exploded in his chest, where it’d stayed steady all day. “Your room is always open. You’re out of school in a couple of weeks. I hope you’ll spend some time at Hope Cottage this summer.”
“I feel like one of my friends with divorced parents,” Maddie said on a laugh.
“Is that a bad thing?” He looked over.
“No. I like having two homes. That’s two bedrooms and twice as much closet space.”
He grinned at the comment. It sounded like something Josie would’ve said. Fresh pain sprang up from its bottomless well as he pulled into Maddie’s driveway and cut the engine.
“Something’s wrong,” Maddie said. “What is it?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Haven’t you learned your lesson yet? Stop hiding things from me.”
He sighed. “You’re right. Sorry. Josie and I aren’t seeing each other anymore. She’s actually going back to New York for a job, which was the plan all along.” He tried and failed to offer a reassuring smile. Maddie was right. She didn’t need kid gloves for everything. She was stronger than most gave her credit for.