She gave him a gentle smile. “I’m glad to see you’ve been able to forgive them. You have, haven’t you?”
His gaze turned toward the paddock where the mares and fillies were grazing in the falling twilight. “For the most part. Hell, being angry at them won’t change what happened. I just—well, I was close to Mom. And when I learned Dad had betrayed her, it sickened me. I often thank God that she never knew. I happen to think the truth would have crushed her.”
“Oh, I’m not so sure about that. Claudia was a very wise woman. I’m sure she’d have been hurt, but she also knew she’d not coped with Darci’s death well. She was much stronger than you think.”
A rueful smile twisted his lips. “You’re the first person to ever say that to me. I like to believe you’re right.”
Rising to his feet, he tugged her up from the bench. “We’d better move on. Greta will have dinner ready soon and before we go back to the house, I’ll show you some of the horses that are stabled in the barn.”
* * *
When Bart had learned that Lilly was coming to dinner, the old man insisted on descending the stairs to join the rest of the family. And though it had taken both Rafe and Orin an exceptionally long time to aid him in getting to the dining room, Lilly could see how much it meant to Bart to be sitting at the head of the table and capable of being in command of his family.
Rafe’s youngest brother, Bowie, was away finishing the last of his stint in the Marine Corps. But his other three brothers were present for dinner and each of them greeted her warmly. Clancy, the eldest of the sons was the general manager of the Silver Horn. The tall, tawny-haired man was quiet and reserved, who seemed more content to listen rather than talk. Evan, the detective, was next to Clancy in age, yet different in looks and personality. His intelligent face had a sharp gaze that seemed to be constantly watching and weighing everyone at the table. Then there was redheaded Finn with his wide smiles and buoyant banter. To Lilly, he was more like Rafe than the others and she found herself warmed by his youthful energy.
While they partook of the rich Mexican food, the men generally discussed happenings on the ranch and around the area. Lilly was more than content to simply listen, but everyone around the table was careful to include her into the conversation, which couldn’t have been easy since she was the only female.
Once the meal was over, the men excused themselves and scattered in different directions. While Rafe and his father helped Bart back upstairs to his bedroom, Lilly ventured into the backyard where an elaborate set of lawn furniture was grouped near a pair of huge Joshua trees. A star-studded sky stretched endlessly over the desert mountains and as she looked around her, she realized her initial impression of the Silver Horn had changed. It was more than just a rich family’s property. The ranch was a home, tatted together by years of hard work and devotion, joys and sorrows.
She was sitting in a cushioned lounger, listening to a sweet medley of night sounds when a hand suddenly dropped onto her shoulder and she looked up to see Rafe standing at the side of her chair.
“Sorry it took so long with Gramps,” he apologized. “I think he was tired.”
“No doubt. He shouldn’t have tried to deal with the stairs. He isn’t ready for that. But he’s an impatient man.”
Rafe chuckled. “Impatient isn’t quite the word I’d use. But he was certainly happy about you being here. In fact, he suggested that you stay here on the ranch tonight, since you’re only going to drive back here early in the morning. And I agree.”
His comment had her swinging her legs to one side of the lounge and sitting straight up. “Stay here? I couldn’t possibly do that!”
“Why? We have plenty of empty rooms. Tessa keeps them all fresh and spotless. Just in case we have unexpected guests.”
“It’s nice of you and Bart to offer, but I’m not prepared. A woman needs certain things with her. And—”
He interrupted. “Believe me, we can find anything you need.”
She studied the idea for long, thoughtful moments. Staying the night here on the ranch couldn’t hurt anything, she told herself. After all, it wasn’t like she’d be sleeping with Rafe.
“Well, not having to drive back to town tonight and then back out here again in the morning would be nice,” she admitted. “Me and my little car would get a rest.”
“Now you’re talking sense.” Grinning happily, he reached for her hand and pulled her from the lounger. “Come on, we’ll go in and I’ll let you pick out a room.”
Once Lilly landed on her feet, she found herself standing so close to Rafe that the front of her body was very nearly pressing into his, and her soft gasp didn’t go unnoticed. Before she could step aside and move away from the temptation, his arms slid around her and with his hands splayed at the back of her waist, he urged her closer until she was clamped against him.
“Rafe! We’re out here in the wide open. Your family might see us!”
The grin on his face deepened. “It’s dark out here, Lilly. And I really doubt any of them are looking. Besides, we’re not doing anything scandalous.”
“Bart warned me that you were naughty,” she said. “Now I see why.”
“Naughty or nice—all I could think about during dinner was having you in my arms like this.”
“Hmm. I thought the only thing on your mind was the food.”
He rubbed his knuckles beneath her chin. “And I got the impression that my brothers were the only thing on your mind.”
She chuckled slyly. “Coming from a man who says he never gets jealous, that’s an odd statement.”
“There’s a first time for everything,” he said gruffly, then bending his head, he settled his lips over hers.
Something was different. The search he was making of her lips was more than a kiss. It was more like a man burning his brand on one of his possessions. Even as she was being swept along in his dark, masculine taste, the thought was zinging through her head, warning her that things between them were changing and evolving at an all too rapid rate.
Yet she was helpless to stop it. And why would she want to? Being with Rafe made her feel needed and wanted. He made her feel like a woman again. And no matter what happened in the future, she deserved to let herself have that much in life. Didn’t she?
Chapter Six
When Rafe finally ended the kiss, Lilly’s hands were clenching the sides of his waist in order to keep herself upright, while her lungs labored to regain her breath.
“I could get used to this,” he murmured as he rested his cheek against the top of her head.
She licked her lips and realized they were partially numb as a result of his ardor. “Are you talking about the kiss? Or me being here on the ranch?”
“Both.”
Not wanting to follow the serious direction of his remark, she said on a teasing note, “After a bit you’d get bored with both.”
Lifting his head, he studied her for long moments and Lilly wished she could see the thoughts behind his gray eyes.
“Would I?” he asked softly.
She did her best to let out a light laugh, even though she wasn’t feeling the least bit humorous. “Pie is delicious. But eating it every day might ruin the specialness.”
He chuckled suggestively. “Not with my sweet tooth.”
With an arm at the back of her waist, they strolled to the house and entered the structure through a door that led them down a hallway toward the family room. Along the way, they spotted Tessa carrying a tray of coffee and cookies toward the staircase landing.
Rafe immediately signaled to the young woman wearing a black dress uniform with a brown bun fastened to the back of her head.
“You need something, Rafe?” she asked.
He smiled at the young maid. “Ms. Lockett is going to be spending the night with us. Do you ha
ve the green room tidied up?”
“I do. And as far as I know there aren’t any guests scheduled to be arriving anytime soon.”
“Well, I told Lilly she could choose the room she wanted, but I think she’d like the green room.”
The maid cast Lilly a sly, curious glance then shifted it back to Rafe. “I’m sure of it.”
Lilly looked at Rafe. “Any place with a bed will do fine for me.”
“Lilly doesn’t have any personal, overnight things with her,” Rafe explained to the maid, “so she might need for you to round up—uh—whatever it is you women need at night.”
Tessa nodded at Lilly. “Just punch the in-house button on the telephone, Ms. Lockett. I’ll be glad to get whatever you need.”
A maid at her disposal. Lilly had never lived in such an opulent manner. In fact, she’d never even dreamed of working in a home like this, much less spending the night as a guest. The realization pointed out the stark differences between her and Rafe. Yet at the same time, she truly believed that Rafe wasn’t defined by his wealth. If he had been, he’d never have taken a second glance at her. And she definitely wouldn’t be standing here by his side.
“Thanks, Tessa.”
With a smile and nod, the maid continued on up the staircase while Rafe gestured toward a wide hallway that led to another wing of rooms on the ground floor.
As they walked along, he said, “My brothers, Dad and Gramps all have bedrooms upstairs. I’m the only one who stays here on the ground floor.”
“Why is that? You just want to be different?” she asked him.
He chuckled. “No. It’s more out of convenience. During calving season, I often have to leave the house in the middle of the night. It’s easier not to have to fumble my way down a flight of stairs.”
At the end of the hallway, he stopped at a door to their right, opened it and reached around the facing to switch on the light. “Here it is. Look around and see if it suits you.”
Pausing at the threshold, she asked, “Where is your room?”
Grinning cleverly, he pointed back in the direction from where they’d come. “Way down there at the opposite end of the hallway. Worried I might sleepwalk?”
Blushing, she stepped into the bedroom. “No. Just curious.”
Trying to push away the tantalizing image of Rafe lying in bed, she stepped farther into the room then went stock-still as she stared incredulously at her surroundings.
Other than a massive four-poster bed with a matching cherrywood chest and dresser, there was also a sitting area furnished with a long couch, a love seat, a writing desk, a small bookcase filled with hardbound books and an entertainment center supplied with a television, DVD player and stereo system.
The walls were painted a soft, celery-green while the bedcovers and drapes were a deep, emerald color. Except for a white-and-green Berber rug positioned at the side of the bed, the floor was all varnished hardwood.
She looked at him and shook her head. “I said all I needed was a bed, Rafe. This is a suite!”
Ignoring her protest, he walked over to a wall of drapes and began to pull them to one side. “Come here and look. When you wake up in the morning you can see the mountains. So you can have coffee in bed or here on the love seat. Or you can sit out on the small terrace and watch the horses play.”
First he’d invited her to a family dinner and now this. They’d both agreed they weren’t going to get serious, but this certainly seemed more than casual. But then she was probably making too much of things, she told herself.
With a short, disbelieving laugh, she walked over to where he stood by the sliding glass doors. “You make it sound like I’m a lady of leisure. I wouldn’t know what it’s like to have coffee in bed.”
“We need to do something about that,” he said with a sly grin then taking her by the hand, he led her over to the couch. “Let’s sit. I want to hear what you thought of my brothers.”
Pulling her down beside him, he quickly wrapped his arm around her shoulders and cuddled her close to his side. Lilly was instantly consumed by the warmth of his body and an overwhelming sense of protection. Which didn’t make sense. No one had to tell her that being this near to Rafe was dangerous. Yet something about his touch made her feel safe and special.
“Your brothers? Well, all three were nice, mannerly and interesting. I liked them all.”
He groaned. “That was a polite, automatic response. Tell me what you really thought.”
“Well, Clancy seems very reserved and more serious than the rest of you.”
“That’s true. Clancy keeps his feelings pretty much to himself. He’s all business.”
“Did he fall into the job of managing the ranch because he’s the eldest? Or is that something he always wanted to do?”
“Hmm. I don’t think Clancy’s age has anything to do with him becoming manager. He’s more qualified. He has a college degree in ranch management. Finn and I have some college under our belts, but the two of us are mainly just good cowboys.”
“In other words, you and Finn have plenty of hands-on training,” she said.
“Plenty.” He shifted around on the cushion so that he was facing her. “It probably seems to you like we were born into luxury. And I guess we were in many ways, but Dad or Gramps have never just handed things out to me or my brothers. From the time we were old enough to lift a rake or carry a feed bucket we’ve had to work. Whether that was mucking stalls or feeding calves or sweeping the tack-room floor, we’ve had to do our part.”
“You should be glad they taught you that work ethic,” she said. “But I’m curious about Evan and Bowie. What did your parents think about them working outside of the ranch? I have the feeling that Bart didn’t approve.”
Rafe shrugged. “He doesn’t approve. But we are different men, Lilly. Evan has always liked ranching and to be honest, he’s very good at it. But he felt a calling for the law. And I admire him for sticking to his dream and becoming a deputy sheriff. Even though he did catch plenty of hell for it. Besides signing away his part of the annual profit from the ranch.”
“Wow. That was a steep price to pay—just to do something he loved,” Lilly said with a shake of her head. “And Bowie? I take it he must be strong minded, too.”
Rafe chuckled. “Our youngest brother has always had a wild streak. Not in a mean way, though. Just adventurous. He caught plenty of flak from Dad and Gramps when he signed up with the Marine Corps. But both admit that the years Bowie spent in the military honed him into a stronger man.”
She sighed. “I can’t imagine how it must feel to have so many siblings. I always wanted brothers and sisters. But it never happened. My parents—” she hesitated, then dropping her gaze to her lap, went on in a rueful voice “—they were always too busy fighting to ever have more children.”
“Am I wrong or didn’t you tell me that your parents are still together?”
“They are still living together. But that’s about the extent of it. Mom is the type who’s never satisfied. And Dad is—well, he tries not to take things too seriously. That only infuriates Mom even more. When I see what they’ve done to each other it’s easy for me to swear off marriage.”
“And have you? Sworn off marriage, I mean.”
She’d not expected him to ask such a personal, point-blank question. She couldn’t imagine him being interested one way or the other about her thoughts on marriage. He probably wanted to be reassured that she wasn’t really hunting for a husband.
“When I was younger I used to dream about getting married. I’m not anything like my mother so I’d always believed things would be different for me. There would be no fighting or hurting or tears. But then I learned that kind of thinking was just a fairy tale and I decided I didn’t want any more pain or tears than I’d already endured.”
His gray g
aze was solemn as he studied her face. “What about children? You’re a nurse. You’re bound to have a nurturing, maternal instinct. A desire to have a baby.”
The mere word had her throat constricting with emotions. Forgoing men for the past few years had been easy. Putting aside the dreams of having a baby had been very hard. “I won’t lie to you, Rafe. I’d like to have children. But I’m an old-fashioned type of woman. I happen to think children need a father, too. And that would require a husband. So...I’ve put the whole idea away.” Blinking at the tears stinging the backs of her eyes, she looked up at him. “Why are you asking me this, anyway?”
He glanced away and Lilly got the feeling that he’d already regretted his questions.
“I don’t know, exactly. I suppose because we were talking about my brothers and our families.” His gaze returned to her face. “And I guess the more I get to know you, the more I wonder why a lovely woman like you is living alone—without any attachments.”
Uncomfortable now, she rose from the couch and wandered aimlessly over to the window. With the drapes pulled open, a twinkle of yard lamps spread across the ranch yard and cast dim pools of light over parts of the broodmare pasture where she’d watched the foals play. No doubt, in the light of day it would be a beautiful sight. But the more she looked around her, the more she realized that Rafe was only a temporary pleasure in her life. In a matter of time he would move on to some other woman and she’d have to be ready to deal with that reality.
“Rafe, I’ve told you—”
“Yeah. You’ve told me about the intern. I haven’t forgotten. But—” Suddenly, he stopped and shook his head. “Never mind. We don’t need to be spoiling our evening talking about this kind of stuff.”
She sighed with relief. “I completely agree.”
Grinning now, he walked over to where she stood and slipped his arms lightly around her waist. “What do you say we go upstairs and have some coffee with Dad? I know he’d enjoy your company. Since Mom died I think he gets lonely.”
For a man who was rumored to be a self-absorbed playboy he wasn’t exactly behaving like one. This wasn’t the first time she’d noticed him considering the feelings of others before his own and the notion endeared her more than he could ever know.
One Tall, Dusty Cowboy Page 8