“Uh, hey, Lyle, I don’t mean to bother you, but earlier I dropped something off for you. I should have given it to you in person, but…um, I didn’t. Anyway, I was just wondering if you got it and—”
“Yes—I got it,”
“Oh, good I, uh, I guess. I just thought it might help to make things better between us.”
“Yes, it’s just great. I really appreciate the thought. You’ve always been nice to me and I’ve been a real jerk. I’d let you in, but I’m kind of tied up with something right now.”
“Oh, that’s okay. I understand. Like I said, I just wanted to stop by to see if everything was good.”
Light reappeared from the peephole, followed by the sound of Lyle’s feet stomping away from the door. Satisfied with Lyle’s pleasant demeanor, Alan crossed the hall to his own apartment.
*****
Standing in his tighty-whities, with his arms securely tied to his sides, Lyle opened his mouth. Spanky inserted his clown nose gag and securely tied it behind his head. “Well done. Perhaps I’ll reduce your punishment by five lashes.”
Lyle kneeled and lowered his torso over the coffee table. His exposed back was covered with swollen red whip lines, highlighted with random speckles and drip trails of blood. Tears welled in his eyes and he whimpered in expectation of the continued torture from his one-legged clown sadist. Tightening his grip on the rope whip, Spanky hopped into the optimal position and raised his hand high above his head.
*****
Beep. “Hey, Alan, this is Mary. I just heard the news about what happened down at the—”
Alan dashed across the room and picked up the phone before she could finish. “Hi, Mary, I just got in.”
“Oh, good, you’re there. I just heard what happened with that boy, and I wanted to call to see how you were doing. It’s such a shame. He had his whole life ahead of him. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay, I guess. I mean, yeah, it’s horrible what happened to him. He was just doing what lots of boys his age do. He wanted a cheap thrill, but he shouldn’t have died.”
“I know. It sickens me when I hear stories like this. They said his friends wouldn’t go in with him. I can’t imagine what they must be going through right now. If only they had gone with him, they might have been able to save him. And if he used a flashlight instead of a lighter, there wouldn’t have been any fire or smoke in the first place. It’s just so sad because it was so avoidable. It’s as if someone decided it was his time to go, and all these coincidences were part of a bigger plan.”
“What? Do you think someone planned to do that?”
“No, well, you know. When God calls your number, there’s nowhere you can hide. Did you hear about that couple a few months ago that got killed by a tree falling on their car as they were leaving a parking lot on a clear day?”
“Oh, right. That was a fluke.”
“That’s what I’m saying. It doesn’t seem fair—but what can you do?”
“Yeah, what can you do?” he repeated.
“So anyway, are you still okay with our plans for tomorrow night? I would certainly understand if you wanted to go somewhere else, or even cancel our date. It’s all still fresh for you, and I want to be sure we don’t have a dark cloud hanging over us on our first date.”
Her choice of words pulled him from thoughts of fate, coincidence, and growing concerns over his relationship with Peepers, to the prospect of a potentially budding courtship with Mary.
She said “first date,” strengthened with words relating to the importance of it being successful and memorable. At least that was how he interpreted her statement.
While he thought he was replaying her words in the privacy of his own head, they managed to escape under his breath. “First date.” Barely audible and spoken in the confusing area between a question and a statement, the words played in stereo both inside and outside his head as his hand instantly covered his mouth.
Without missing a beat Mary laughed. “Yes, Alan. I said first date. Does that scare you?”
“Scare me? No, not at all. It’s just that I wasn’t sure if we were going as friends or, uh—”
“Of course we’re going as friends,” she said.
Friends, just great. Why did I allow myself to think someone like her could be interested in anything more? he thought. It was high school all over again, but the role of Paula was now being played by Mary Krauss.
“I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe in dating a guy until I can first consider him to be my friend. My mother married her best friend. For that matter, so did my father. Don’t you consider me to be your friend?”
Their date wasn’t until the following night, yet in his head he could hear the unmistakable ratcheting sound of a roller coaster being hoisted to the next crest.
“Yes, I consider you to be my friend. And yes, I’m okay with going to the carnival for our date—our first date. It’ll be fun going as Alan and not Boogy the Clown. I’m really looking forward to it,” he said.
“It will be fun. I’d love to see you in your Boogy costume, but I’d much rather be there with Alan.”
“Oh, that’s right, I forgot to tell you. I won’t be working there anymore. They decided to keep the Haunted Labyrinth of Mirrors closed for the remainder of their time in Riverside. I worked the crowds outside, and now Boogy’s services are no longer needed.”
“Oh no, I’m sorry to hear that. I was planning on stopping in to see Boogy.”
“It’s okay. I’m fine with the decision. As a matter of fact, after what happened, I’m not sure Boogy would be able to entertain the crowds,” he said. “Boogy won’t be appearing there anymore, but you’ll always have your memories of Boogy in Clown World.”
“May he rest in peace,” Mary chuckled.
“Speaking of Clown World, I’m curious. Is Peepers still helping other virtually addicted players kick the habit?” he asked.
“That’s an interesting perspective,” she said. “Actually, no, he isn’t. After killing you and stealing your powers, he went on a killing spree. He obliterated the top tier of players. Then he just disappeared. It didn’t make sense. You know how the game is played. You can’t get to the top without building alliances and helping your friends.”
“He’s not playing anymore?”
“No, he isn’t, and that’s a good thing. I know you think the guy was responsible for breaking your addiction to the game, but honestly, I think you’re giving that creep too much credit. The only thing he did was destroy your character in the virtual world. I admire the fact that you are a humble person Alan, but seriously—if you really think some nerdy twelve-year-old kid sitting behind his laptop in a small village in Austria is responsible for your personal success in the real world, then maybe I spoke too soon about future dates.”
And the clicking sounds stopped as the mental roller coaster reached the peak. His hands instinctively rose above his head as the rumbling wheels of the first car spread and intensified as subsequent links of the train were pulled behind. This was the most dramatic drop to date on his ride with Mary. At the bottom of the tracks, there was a split. To the left, the fall continued another fifty feet and the tracks ended at a battered concrete wall surrounded by shattered remnants of past bad decisions.
To the right, the tracks continued for a long distance, reminiscent of a runaway truck ramp on the downward slope of a mountain. Those tracks disappeared into a thick layer of undisturbed crushed gravel.
Finding himself alone and in the front car, he knew that he had to make a quick decision, but there weren’t any controls. This was a new experience for him. On one side he could see his past. The other side was new and untraveled. In front of him there was nothing but a handlebar. His hands were raised, going along for the ride. The speed increased. The closer he got to the split, the more faded the tracks to the runaway ramp became. The decision was being made for him, but it wasn’t his choice.
At the last possible instant, he leaned right. H
is arms hung over the side of the car and the concrete wall vanished.
“A twelve-year-old kid in Austria? That’s funny. I can’t say I had the same image in my head, but I get your point.”
“Really? Because you had me worried when you asked if he was still in the game, ‘helping’ others.”
“I can only imagine how big that red flag looked,” he snickered. “Forget about future dates. You must have been thinking of ways to get out of our first date.”
“Well...” she said jokingly.
Alan laughed. “Don’t worry. I was just kidding about that guy helping people. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m not that good at telling jokes. I need to work on my delivery.”
“Yeah, we’ll definitely have to work on that before you meet my uncles.”
“Your uncles? Does that mean the red flag is gone and we’re still on for tomorrow night?”
“I don’t know,” she said playfully. “I’m not completely convinced yet.”
“Oh no? What do I have to do to prove that I didn’t mean it the way it sounded?” Alan smiled and waited for her reply. To his surprise and delight, he had succeeded in changing the tone of their conversation from a potential crash-and burn-ending to that of a flirtatious repartee. The fact that Peepers was the primary subject of their flirty banter escaped him.
“Hmm, let’s see—what can I make you do?”
“Your wish is my command, milady.” Oh no, he thought. Did I really say that? And I was doing so well in repressing my inner dork. Now she’s going to think I’m one of those Renaissance Festival geeks. Those days, and the red and yellow tights, are best left in the past.
Fortunately, Mary was too deep in thought to digest his comment. “The jerk killed Boogy, and now I’m not going to be able to see Boogy at the carnival.”
“Where are you going with this?” He was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the amount of consideration she was giving to the dilemma. He hoped his penance wouldn’t subject him to embarrassment.
“I got it!” she exclaimed. “I want to see Boogy kill Peepers!”
The confident smile drained from his face. “What?”
“Think about it, Alan. Peepers killed Boogy in Clown World. If you want to prove to me that Peepers means nothing to you, I want to see Boogy kill him.”
“But I’m not in the game anymore, and neither is Peepers. How can Boogy kill him?”
“The real world Boogy will do it. Well, nobody’s going to die, exactly. I was just thinking that you can use the mold you made of Peepers and cast a replica. Don’t bother sanding down the seams or painting it because it’s only going to get destroyed. Destroyed by you, dressed in your Boogy costume. Oh, that’s perfect.”
“You want me to dress as Boogy and break a casting of Peepers?” he said.
“Yes! That way I can meet Boogy, and you can get some symbolic payback.”
“But our date is tomorrow night. Are you saying you won’t go out with me until I do this? Because I’m not sure we’ll have enough time.”
“Hmm, good point. I guess I’ll have to take your word. Promise me that you’ll do it another time and I’ll give you a waiver for tomorrow’s date.”
“Is there a time limit?”
“C’mon, Alan, you don’t want to disappoint me, do you? I want to see Boogy. Are you going to deprive me of my one wish? I thought you said my wish was your command.”
Apparently, that poorly chosen phrase hadn’t slipped by unnoticed, and now she was cashing in. “So, if it’s just Boogy you want to see, I’m doing a kids party Sunday. I can stop by on my way there,” he said, hoping she would forget about the part of her request involving his purposeful destruction of a Peepers figure.
First of all, destroying a Peepers casting would require him to cast another one. Then there was the larger issue of potentially pissing off a spirit whose true powers were still unknown to him. How might Peepers respond? Was he capable of understanding his reasons? Or might he be angered to the point of becoming physically violent toward him?
In that two-second sliver of time between his question and Mary’s response, he found clarity. She was right. Peepers wasn’t responsible for helping him overcome his fears. He had responded negatively when Alan expressed concerns and his desire to slow things down. Now Alan was wondering how he should go about calming the spirit after he destroyed one of his figures.
Alan realized he wasn’t cured of his fears. His fears had merely shifted. Instead of fearing the sight of Peepers and other spirits, he was living in fear of the spirits’ retribution should he disagree with or disregard Peepers’ desires and plans for him.
“Yes! I’d love that. Just be sure to bring Peepers with you,” Mary replied.
Nothing escaped this girl. For her, it was all just a game. She was toying with him, but she couldn’t possibly know the ramifications of her request. Alan gave up playing out potential outcomes and probabilities in his mind. He knew what he needed to do. But first, he needed to get off the phone.
“And give that jerk the satisfaction of casting his figure?” he said. “I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen. I can’t allow him to exist in the real world, even if it’s just for the purpose of destroying him. Like you said, the only thing he did was destroy my character in Clown World. I trusted him. He told me he was a newbie and asked for my help to get him established in the game. I let my guard down and he used me. Then he killed Boogy. I never should have sculpted him in the first place.”
“Huh,” she said. “I didn’t think of it that way, but good for you! I agree one hundred percent. Forget that guy. Your plan is so much better. He doesn’t deserve to be in the same room as Boogy.” Mary sounded so upbeat that he pictured her on the other end of the line pumping a clenched fist. She only had one more thing to add. “You’ll get along just fine with my uncles.”
“I can’t wait,” he replied.
*****
Alan stepped into his bathroom, stripped out of his costume, and stood in front of the mirror wearing only his white T-shirt and underpants. The sad face of Boogy stared back at him. He turned up the corners of his mouth but the clown’s exaggerated face looking back at him remained sad.
“He’s not going to take this well, old friend,” he said. Boogy nodded.
“I can see you are afraid.” Again, the sad clown nodded.
“So am I.” He dug four fingers into the cold cream container and smeared it over his face.
“I’ve never been so scared of anything in my entire life, but it’s time to start believing in myself.” He bent down to rinse his face. Then he finished the transformation with a rigorous rubbing with a hand towel. He looked back into the mirror; Boogy was gone. “But first, I need to make one stop.”
Chapter 20
Other than himself, two elderly women were in the church, diligently praying with beaded rosaries dangling from their arthritic clutches. Sitting beside each other, they appeared to be together. However, each was intensely focused on the statue of the Blessed Mother at the front left side of the altar.
Alan sat on the opposite side of the church, in the last pew. A fourth parishioner entered and slipped to the center of a pew five rows ahead of him. Alan watched as the younger man used his foot to lower the kneeler from the pew in front of him. Without hesitation, the gentleman lowered to his knees, tightly interlocked his fingers and hands together as his elbows found comfort on the back of the pew, and began to pray.
Looking past his knees, Alan reached his foot out to the kneeler in front of him and gently lowered it to the floor. He had come there to pray, and after observing the other three people in the church with him, he realized his approach might be flawed. It wasn’t that he forgot Church traditions. He just didn’t understand the logic. Why would God care if he didn’t genuflect before entering the pew? He had better things to do than judge people for avoiding the finger dip in holy water, immediately followed by touching the forehead, stomach, and left and right breast
s, signifying the sign of the Holy Trinity.
Alan wasn’t much different from his brother Dale in his views of the Church. The only difference was that Dale didn’t have a choice. He didn’t want to be in church every Sunday. He only went because he wanted to keep the peace. Alan didn’t have anyone to answer to.
Disregarding his misgivings on the subject, he slid forward and lowered his knees to the cushioned surface of the kneeler. “Here goes nothing,” he whispered as he locked his hands, planted his elbows, and lowered his head. He closed his eyes and began to pray.
God—Dear Lord—I know it’s been a long time, and I probably shouldn’t have come here asking for your help. It’s not like I’ve been thanking you for any of the good things in my life. I wouldn’t blame you if you decide to use your powers on someone more deserving of, and thankful for, your—blessings. So, if you’re still listening, I should start by saying I’m sorry for avoiding you all these years. Oh, and I want to thank you for my health and other good things that have happened since the last time I talked to you. Oh, Mary! Thank you for bringing her into my life. And sculpting, I guess you already know about that. You probably knew about my abilities all along, so thanks for, uh, giving me the talent. It would have been nice if you figured out a better way to help me discover it, but I’m not blaming you. Like I said, maybe if I was more thankful, you might have opened that window sooner. But, in my defense, you did take my parents from me. And I was just a little kid when you took my father. I think you can understand why I—strayed.
Alan opened his eyes, unfolded his hands, and sat back in the pew. This isn’t working, he thought. God doesn’t owe me anything, and it would be selfish of me to even ask for his help.
He attempted to stand when a hand on his shoulder gently guided him back to a sitting position. He looked up to see Father Harris.
“Are you looking for me, or did you come to speak with the big guy?” Father Harris said, with his finger pointed up.
“The big guy,” Alan replied before rising to his feet. “I should be going.”
The Guild of Fallen Clowns Page 22