by Dana Archer
“Your fault? I don’t know what you mean.”
“I know you don’t.” Uri nips my earlobe, a sting that fades the moment he touches the tip of his tongue to my skin. There’s no room for the discomfort, not while fire erupts within me, igniting needs I’ve never experienced before. “I’m sorry for that. Sorry I put you in this situation.”
“What situation? I don’t understand. Explain it to me.”
“You’re only feeling this way because I touched you last night. Kissed you.” He swipes his tongue over the healing bruise on my neck over and over, then across my chapped lips until I close my mouth to stifle my moan. “That’s all. It’s not really your wants you’re feeling, but mine.”
An amused sound shakes my body, not quite a laugh but something darker, something bitter. “Are you saying your kisses have the power to turn women into sex-starved addicts?”
“Not my kisses exactly.” Uri slides his hands over my stomach, his fingers inches from my groin.
Needing to gauge Uri’s words, I tip my head back. “Then what?”
Uri skims a hand up the length of my body, from my lower belly and over my chest, to my neck. He curls his fingers around my throat and bends over me, his mouth a hairbreadth from mine.
“This, Lyla.” Our lips brush. Our breaths mix. “This. You allowed this to happen.”
“What are you talking about? Gazing into each other’s eyes? I didn’t know such a thing could entrap a woman.”
“Not gazing into each other’s eyes.” Uri shakes his head, but he doesn’t ease away or release the firm but gentle hold on my neck. “That’s harmless. This—what you allowed and I didn’t stop—is not so harmless.”
“I don’t understand.”
Uri’s eyelids lower on a deep inhale, while a shuddering gasp leaves me weakened, body and soul. Strength fills me in the next instance, Uri’s exhaled air expanding my lungs. The sensation is the oddest I’ve ever experienced, as if he’s breathing life into me. Lust spreads with my next heartbeat. My pulse races. My limbs tremble. I clutch Uri’s shirt, holding on to him as if he’s my anchor.
Or the source of my desire.
“You.” My lips touch Uri’s parted lips in a featherlight caress that skips tingles across my skin. “You’re the reason.”
“Not on my own. Don’t forget my words. You allowed this.”
“And you didn’t stop this.” He told me that. “But what is this? Please tell me.”
Uri slips his hand under my shirt, letting his fingertips rest against my skin. “Close your eyes.”
His command isn’t one I can or want to resist. My eyelids lower, and Uri exhales again, compelling me to take in his air, breathing him in. Warmth slips through me, along with an awareness my vision hid from me. I’m not alone. A heartbeat echoes in my ears, my veins, my soul. It’s not mine, but my rapid heartbeat slows to match it. My inhales counter Uri’s exhales, a perfect synchronization I’ve never shared with another man, as if my very soul is tied to his.
“In this moment, it is.” Uri’s words reach me, wrap around me, and tighten this connection we share. “One you allowed, and I can’t resist.”
“Why would you want to resist this?” Because it feels good. Better than good. “This is power. Strength as I’ve never felt.”
“And it’s not free. It demands more than I can ever give you.”
Uri jerks his head, ending this moment, and lifts me, setting me on my feet, then rolls the chair under the desk. My head spins, and my heart aches. I grab the desk’s edge as my knees buckle, and press a balled fist against the hollow sensation in my chest, right over my heart.
“Uri?” My voice sounds as weak as I feel. “What hap—”
“How do you open that program again?” Uri glances at me, then looks past me. “I’m sure Ella would like to see the results of the analysis too.”
The reason for Uri’s abrupt dismissal eases the ache in my chest. I drop my hand and look at Ella. She’s watching me with a raised brow. I ignore the questions in her expression and build on the scenario Uri’s statement implied, that we were working this whole time and not sharing the same soul. “The test was still running a few minutes ago, but I’m hoping to get an answer soon as to what was in the latest victim’s blood when he died.”
A long moment passes before Ella scrutinizes me, then looks to where Uri’s sitting with his back to her. “Did I interrupt something?”
“No,” I say at the same time as Uri mutters, “Work.”
Uri catches my gaze, and the chastising look he gives me tears a laugh from my chest. I shake my head. “We were bouncing some ideas off each other, but nothing came of it.”
“Except for the possibility this latest victim took the same drug as the variant of Elixir that the first victim had in his system.” Uri clicks on the running profile. While it’s not done, enough time has passed for the program to run a comparison. He points to the results box. “Close, but not exact, right?”
With my hand resting on Uri’s arm, I lean close, and his scent, the one that reminds me of a warm savanna day, wraps around me, strengthening me almost as much as his exhaled breath had. I force myself to nod when all I want to do is bury my nose against his neck and take his unique smell into my lungs.
“Close, but not exact. It’s actually more similar to ambrosia.” I point to the section of the report that confirms my conclusion. “But there’s an unknown substance that’s not normally in Elixir. It doesn’t match any known street drug.”
“They’re experimenting with the drug mix and testing it on shifters instead of humans.” Ella voices the rest of my hypothesis. “Probably as a worst-case scenario.”
“And obviously failing with their modifications.” Uri turns his head, his lips dangerously close to mine. “Right, Lyla? Last night’s victim died before his heart was ripped out.”
“Yes.” My voice takes on a slumberous quality, betraying my reaction to Uri. I clear my throat and step back. “There was blood on his brain from a burst artery.”
Uri nods. “As I thought, and until they get the mix they want, they’ll keep experimenting.”
“And we’ll keep finding dead bodies.” Ella curses. She points at Uri. “You need to get out there with Rick. He could use your help with interviews.”
“Not today.” Uri stands, then pushes my desk chair in before taking a step forward. “I’m cutting out early.”
“What?” Ella blocks him. “I need you out there. We have an active predator killing the vulnerable and—”
“And I need to be elsewhere.” Uri glares at Ella. “You know this, and if you don’t like it, we might have to reexamine my association with Shifter Affairs.”
After the insistence he didn’t want to risk his job because of a harassment suit that might end his tenure with Shifter Affairs, Uri’s threat strikes me as odd. Ella laughs, obviously sharing my conclusion. “You won’t quit.”
“You want to test that theory, Agent Montgomery?” The threat darkens Uri’s voice.
Ella’s smile fades. Her shoulders slump. “Tell Ezra I said hello.”
Uri nods, then steps out of my cube. Ella follows him, then turns in the opposite direction.
And I’m left here alone with more questions than I have answers to, and they all center on the man I swear I can still feel in my soul.
Six
Uri
The sprawling mansion set in the backwoods of West Virginia is a far cry from the dilapidated cabin where I lived with my blind twin for the past couple of centuries. Until yesterday, I would’ve told anyone I’d rather be surrounded by luxury than hunt for every meal. Now, I’m not so sure. Living in isolation had its pluses. The lack of females being the biggest one.
“What’s wrong?”
My alpha leader’s demand reverberates in my bones even though technically I’m strong enough to take the alpha role from Kade. Only my lineage puts me in a lower position and obliges me to heed my alpha’s orders, but few shifters would betray
a twin or mate because of an alpha’s command. And Lyla? I don’t want to contemplate what she is to me beyond being my mentee. Better I never find out.
With a six-pack of beer in hand, I head to the raised deck overlooking the barren backyard, where tarp-covered piles of rock and stone dot the snow- and ice-blanketed grounds. I set the cardboard carrier of beers on the built-in table tucked in the corner of the deck, then drop my elbows on the railing overlooking the Alexander pride’s grounds.
Kade will join me. I didn’t answer him. My silence on top of the fact I’m here in the middle of the day to drink without my twin would’ve spiked my alpha’s instincts and his curiosity. Outside of the time I act as an agent, I never go anywhere without Ezra, and during my time as an agent, I never drink. This afternoon I’m doing both.
“I asked you a question.” Harsh. Demanding. Kade’s voice is the kind that would make most males cower.
Head dipped, I focus on the ground beneath this deck, not because Kade’s tone makes me tremble but out of respect. Kade hosts the spirit of our pride’s first ancestor, my great-great-granduncle, to be specific.
“I want Zach to take my place at Shifter Affairs.” My other distant cousin and Kade’s brother is the perfect choice to assume my role and partner with Rick, especially since everyone suspects Ella Montgomery is Zach’s true mate.
Kade’s rich laugh surrounds and mocks me. “Good luck with that.”
“That’s why I’m here.” I grab a beer, popping the cap with a modified feline nail, then hand the bottle to Kade before taking one for myself. “I want you to order him to take my place.”
Minutes pass. The silence is thick and uncomfortable. I don’t break it. I have no other recourse. I can’t leave Rick without a partner. Someone needs to have his back when I’m gone, and I’m not sure who else I’d trust to do so. Except for Ilan, the department’s assassin, but he’s technically on retainer at Shifter Affairs for specialized jobs only. He also has newborn twin boys and a new mate at home. Asking Ilan to take on a more than full-time job isn’t right.
“Why do you want to leave your position?” Kade takes a similar stance as mine, elbows on the railing and gaze on the yard. “I thought you enjoyed the work and your partner.”
“I do.” Lying to my alpha is not an option, but I won’t offer up additional details unless I have no other choice.
“Then why do you want to leave your position?”
No harsh demand accompanies Kade’s question. General curiosity bleeds through. It’s almost harder to ignore than an order.
“I met with the alpha of the Murphy clan today and roughed him up. More than I should have. A lot more than I should have.” Technically true. My behavior has been on my mind since then too. “Actually, there was no reason for what I did except for my own skewed views toward the bear shifter. I saw Bryon and wanted him to hurt.”
“Why?”
“He abandoned me and Ezra. He could’ve helped us. Maybe saved Ezra’s eyesight.” I chug the beer to wash down the taste of my own blood, but I can’t force my fangs to recede. My lion remembers all too well the night Ezra lost his vision. “He didn’t. Bryon ran like the coward he is, letting those humans throw me in a cell and handing Ezra over to ignorant fools.”
“No, Uri.” Kade shoves against my shoulder, forcing me to look at him. I know why too. Kade wants to judge me, and the spirit of our pride he hosts can give him insights no other member of the pride is privy to. “Why did you meet with the Murphy alpha? You wouldn’t have done so without a reason. You’ve known where he’s been living since he became alpha, just as most shifters have known. Bryon has made no secret of his whereabouts. Or his vulnerability.”
Yet nobody has challenged him. No female bear shifter has sought him out as a mate. And no criminal has tried to kidnap him and steal the spirit of his clan. At least not that I know about. And if they have, they’ve obviously not been successful.
“He’s tainted. Crazed.” I lean closer to Kade and lower my voice even though there’s no reason to do so. We’re alone. Except this topic is one our kind has discussed in whispered tones for ages. “Damned. He’s damned, Kade. They say you can feel the curse he carries, that it has a force of its own and will follow anyone who hosts the Murphy spirit.”
“Did you feel it?”
Again, silence stretches between us. It’s my turn to break it. “Resentment ruled me. Maybe rage. If I felt anything else, I didn’t notice it.”
“Did Rick?”
“He didn’t mention it, and I didn’t ask.” I study the backyard. “Others have. I’ve heard those tales. They’ve only added to the rumors surrounding Bryon’s rise to alpha. They say he was possessed by evil. That he invited it into his soul by tampering with magic he couldn’t control.”
“Yes, that’s the rumor I’ve heard.”
“Do you believe it?”
“That he’s possessed by evil and carries a curse?” Kade chuckles. “No, I don’t believe those rumors.”
“Then what do you believe?” Because my alpha has an opinion about everything. Kade just doesn’t always share it. He keeps too much close.
“I believe Bryon tampered in things he didn’t understand and couldn’t control.” Kade glances at me. “And regrets it.”
“You think he did kill his clan, then? Every member, including their babies and women?” And if so, I’m guilty as well. The early settlers condemned him to die by hanging for being a warlock several decades before tragedy struck his clan. His clan mates made no attempt to save him from those villagers either. I did, dragging Ezra along with me to be my backup. I couldn’t stand the ignorance of that time.
Kade shrugs, then focuses on the tree line surrounding this remote home, one of several houses under construction on these new pride lands in West Virginia. “I too remember when the witch trials were sweeping the colonies. It was a dark time. I also remember my father feeling sorry for Bryon when the Murphy clan all but died. He didn’t believe him a murderer.”
“Your father held a well of empathy and wanted to see good in everything.”
“He did. He was a noble man.” Kade drops his chin to his chest. “I’m grateful for those views. If he wasn’t so compassionate, our pride never would’ve welcomed in some of our honorary members.”
Among them, Mira. Had the female I consider my little sister never joined our pride, she wouldn’t have mated Josh, her forbidden human husband. Or smiled. She does now, every day. Without our pride’s protection, she wouldn’t have. “Your father was a wise and powerful alpha leader. He always seemed to anticipate danger and guide our pride away from it.”
“Until he lost his head and damned me to this role.” Kade turns glowing golden eyes to me. One corner of his upper lip rises in a silent snarl before he snaps his teeth together. “Now tell me what your problem is so I can fix it, because that’s my job now. I fix everyone else’s problems.”
And that’s what an alpha leader does. He guides and protects his pride mates, stepping in where needed to ensure each member is happy, safe, and prosperous. I don’t remind Kade of this aspect of his role or the fact most alphas take great pleasure from being the one who fixes everything. I accept Kade’s resentment. He’s entitled to it. He has a human side just as I do. Predators we may be, but we still feel. We simply don’t deal with our human emotions well or even understand them most of the time. At least, every unmated shifter male I’ve known hasn’t dealt with those sentiments well.
Mated males, on the other hand? They share a bond with their living conscience. Their mates are literally their better halves, strengthening them, bringing them peace, and helping them deal with their human sides.
Some males don’t warrant such a gift, however. I’m one of them. I’d screw it up somehow, and my true mate doesn’t deserve to suffer. I do.
“I did tell you what my problem is. I want you to order Zach to take my place at Shifter Affairs.”
Kade’s sigh is long and drawn out. “Why? You didn’t
give me a reason why.”
“I roughed Bryon up for no reason.”
“And you lied to me. Tell me the truth.”
“I didn’t lie. If I can’t control myself, I don’t deserve to be acting as an agent.”
“Okay.” Kade sets his untouched beer on the table and resumes his position, surveying the woods. “Help me understand what happened. Did you almost take Bryon’s head? Rip his heart out? Eviscerate him?”
“No.” Thankfully, those thoughts never crossed my mind. “But I did rough him up without provocation. He was just lying there, not even looking at me. I kicked him. Threatened him.”
“I am not my father.” Kade turns his head slowly to look at me. “My patience isn’t endless, and I don’t forgive easily. I’d caution you to stop lying to me.”
“I am not lying.” Exactly.
“You aren’t telling me everything. Hiding stuff when you know full well you need my help is the same as lying. Worse, maybe. You’re hoping to trick me into giving you what you want.” A wash of power dances over my skin, a sign Kade is losing patience, exactly as he warned. “Now start with why you sought out Bryon and why you felt the need to kick him and rough him up.”
Kade may as well have put air quotes around “kick him and rough him up” as the tone left little room for mistaking his frustration. And he’s right. I am being evasive. I don’t want to bring up Lyla. I can’t continue hiding stuff either, especially when my alpha calls me out on it. I vowed to respect Kade as my leader, yet I’m not abiding by my obligation.
“A case. Homeless shifters are dying.” I set my half-empty bottle next to Kade’s full one. Talking about a case isn’t any different from working on it, and drinking is not allowed on the job. “And the human female acting as our department’s coroner went to Bryon last night to see what he knew. He ended up leaving a bruise on her neck and a scratch and sent her running as another male chased her. Bryon claimed he was saving her by letting that other male know she belonged to Bryon, but he didn’t stop this other man from following her. I did. I caught her and scared the other male off. I’m the one who protected her. Bryon just slunk off, leaving her to whatever fate she met.”