“Blessed to be here,” he said. “I have some business to discuss with you.”
About time. We’d discussed the ‘business’ over a week ago.
“Of course. Please come in.”
He followed me inside while the three witches were cackling with Caro.
“You are still limping very much,” commented Atash as I led him through to the small kitchen.
I grunted because there was nothing else to say.
“I can get you more hashish,” he said, dropping his voice, even though no one else in the house could understand him. “From my brother-in-law. Good quality. Good price for my friend Sebastian. Very good for pain.”
“Yeah, man, that would be great. How much this time?”
“He sells for $25, but for you, $15.”
I nodded and pulled out my wallet and paid the man for four small bags. I’d have liked more, but I didn’t have the cash on me, and I knew that Caro definitely wouldn’t approve. But it helped—made me calmer, as well.
Atash grinned as he pocketed the money, then looked puzzled as I set the kettle to boil water for some of that fuck-awful sweet tea he liked.
“Sebastian, why are you making the tea when you have four wives to do it for you?”
I gaped at him then started laughing. I laughed so hard, I nearly bust a gut, and I definitely strained something in my bad shoulder, but fuck me! That was the funniest thing I’d heard in a long time. I mean yeah, I’d had some threesomes in the past, even a foursome once, but thinking of bedding Caro’s friends made my balls shrivel.
Atash stared at me as I tried to catch a breath.
“You are funny man,” he said, shaking his head.
“Back at ya,” I choked out, rubbing my chest.
He sighed and muttered, “American humor. Come by for the hashish tomorrow.”
I walked him out, still chuckling to myself.
“What was all that about?” Caro asked as soon as I shut the front door.
“Atash wanted to know if I needed some hashish,” I said casually, unable to resist pushing her buttons.
Jenna and Alice looked slightly shocked, and Nicole frowned.
“Excuse me?” Caro said sharply. “I hope you said no.”
I shrugged, not answering the question. “He said it’s good for pain.”
Caro stared at me, and I knew we’d be having a conversation about that in private.
“And what else?” she asked. “What aren’t you telling me, Hunter?”
I couldn’t help grinning at her when I answered.
“He was wondering why I was making the tea when I’ve got four wives to do it.”
Nicole snorted with laughter, and Caro’s mouth dropped open.
“Well, I hope you straightened him out! Sebastian?”
I grinned and winked at her. “I’ll put him straight, Caro. Eventually.”
Jenna started to laugh and then Nicole joined in. Soon all of them were laughing their asses off. Damn, it felt good to see Caro happy. I wanted to see her like that a lot more. Surely things would get better for us now? Wasn’t it our turn?
“You and I will have words later, Hunter,” Caro said, trying hard to sound mad. It wasn’t working.
“Looking forward to it, baby,” I replied, still grinning at her.
After Atash’s visit, we moved outside to sit in Caro’s backyard, enjoying the sun. I guess it was our backyard now, and I’d promised to plant some of that bougain— bougain— purple shit that we’d seen in Italy. I’d get around to it one day and surprise her.
We sat in plastic chairs, and my eyes automatically settled on Caro’s legs as she hitched her dress slightly higher and raised an eyebrow at me. Oh yeah, she knew just what I was thinking, and as soon as her friends left, I’d make her dreams come true.
I couldn’t help licking my lips.
“Oh, just stop it, you two,” Nicole groaned. “I haven’t been laid in months and you’re wafting all this sexual tension around. It’s so unfair.”
Alice laughed at her. “Lee got lucky—and it isn’t like she hasn’t put in more than her fair share of waiting over the years,” she pointed out. “Besides, I’ve decided to give up on men: I’m going down the B.O.B. route.”
I had no idea what she was talking about.
“Battery-operated boyfriend,” Caro whispered in my ear.
Well, why the fuck didn’t she just call it a vibrator?
I’d had a lot of fun using those on women in the past. I looked at Caro speculatively. I wondered if she’d like that? Hell, for all I knew, maybe she already had one. I made a mental note to ask her later.
It was interesting seeing her relax with her friends, seeing a different side to her. I kind of got what she meant now about wanting to spend time with them. I wanted to be her everything, but that wasn’t realistic. Probably.
“No offence, Sebastian,” continued Alice, “but men just take up too much energy. Or maybe it’s just the men I meet. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at dinner parties and listened to them droning on about football, or fishing, or how damn important they are at work. One even gave me a blow-by-blow description of building a model airplane. I mean, come on!”
Jenna agreed.
“Although maybe it’s just men our age. We should do what Lee has done and find ourselves some younger guys.”
“I’d definitely recommend it,” Caro said, winking at me.
I smiled back. Worked for us.
“Well, I’m a bit out of practice now,” continued Alice, “I admit it, but food has some serious advantages over sex,”.
Caro laughed out loud, and Nicole told her she was talking bullshit.
“I’m serious!” she said, ticking off the points on her fingers. “Eating: you can do it every day, at least three times a day, with snacks in between; you can do it with as many people as you want, of any gender, and you don’t have to worry about their sexual orientation; there are more good recipes and restaurants than hot, available men around—and believe me, I’ve done some research on this; I’m not going to get pregnant or STDs by eating ice cream; and, best of all, even if you gorge yourself with different people every time, no one calls you a slut.”
“You’re just a food slut!” yelled Jenna.
“We should ask Sebastian’s opinion,” said Nicole. “Where do you stand on the whole food versus sex thing?”
“Nic,” said Caro in a warning voice.
I appreciated it, but I didn’t need Caro’s help to know how to handle women like Nicole.
“Caro’s a great cook,” I said, smiling at her suggestively. Then I whispered in her ear so no one else could hear, “but I think you feed me well because you know I’ll need my energy later.”
“Ugh!” shouted Jenna. “I know you just said something really hot. It’s so mean of him, Lee! Come on, you could at least tell us what he said.”
Caro shook her head. “Need to know basis, Jenna, and you don’t need to know.”
I grinned, enjoying Caro’s mild embarrassment. But I could also tell that she was relieved they didn’t get to me. They were kind of irritating, but they cared about Caro. I could live with that.
When Caro and Jenna went to bring out the food, Nicole sat down next to me, and I tensed up, waiting for the inquisition.
“So, how are you liking Long Beach?”
“Yeah, what I’ve seen of it. I like it.”
“Caro says you’re from the West Coast?”
“Yeah. I was brought up in San Diego.”
“I’ve been to California, but I never went that far south.”
She paused, and I wondered what she wanted me to say. I’d never had much tolerance for small talk, but now less than ever.
“Lee looks happy.” Her voice carried no emotion, and I couldn’t tell what she thought about that. “You, too.”
I shrugged, uncomfortable with the turn of conversation.
She smiled. At least I think it was a smile; maybe she had gas.
“Well, I’m glad for you. You’ve been through a lot—you both have.” Then she pinned me with a gaze. “But if you ever make her unhappy again, I’ll go Lorena Bobbit on your ass.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Noted.”
She grinned and winked at me. “I think we understand each other.”
Caro looked at her suspiciously when she returned, but Nicole started talking about a new café that had opened and how they should all visit it—girls day out. Guess I wasn’t invited.
After a couple of hours, I was getting tired. I was moving awkwardly and sitting on hard chairs for so long was fucking up my thigh. In fact, my entire leg felt like it was on fire.
“Why don’t you go take a nap, tesoro,” Caro suggested quietly. “We’ll just be yakking out here for a while. You’ve more than done your part.”
I didn’t like admitting defeat, but it was either go lie down, or take enough pain meds to knock me out.
“You don’t mind?”
“Of course not. Just take care of yourself and rest.”
I smiled, wanting to ease the concern I saw on her face. “Okay, but wake me up before they go?”
“You really want some more?” she asked, pretending to be shocked.
“They’re okay,” I grinned at her—and I meant it. “They really care about you, Caro. That’s all that matters.”
I muttered some apologies then shuffled inside. They started talking about me immediately—I guess they hadn’t realized that our bedroom window opened onto the yard.
Nicole weighed in first.
“Well, he’s even hotter in the flesh, Lee; hot-tempered, too.”
“Both are equally true,” Caro agreed.
“You guys look good together. I must admit I had my doubts, but it’s obvious he adores you. Hell, that’s as good a start as any.”
“He needs to find a new direction, Lee,” said Alice. “He’s not the kind of man who can just sit around.”
Wasn’t that the truth? But I had no clue what to do next—a few ideas maybe, but nothing solid. Part of the problem was that I’d been following orders for the last 10 years; now I was a free agent. It felt like jumping without a parachute: fucking scary.
I fell into an uneasy sleep as their voices drifted away. But having all these new thoughts rushing around my brain made me restless.
I was back in Afghanistan. I could feel the heat of the early sun on my face, the weight of my daypack and the M16 in my hand.
Then the guy in robes appeared, his face strained with fear.
“Those who disbelieve, theirs will be a severe torment; and those who believe in the Oneness of Allah and do righteous good deeds, theirs will be forgiveness and a great reward of Paradise.”
The script changed and his face turned hateful.
“And kill them wherever you find them…”
I was flying through the air, and my body was on fire but I couldn’t put the flames out, I couldn’t put them out … I was covered in blood … my blood … Chiv’s blood … I couldn’t put the flames out…
Caro was gripping me hard, screaming loudly. No. No, it wasn’t Caro who was screaming, it was me.
My body was soaked with sweat and I was shaking so badly, my teeth were rattling and I could hardly sit up. I clung to Caro with all my strength. Only her. She was the only one who could make it stop.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “It’s okay, I’m here.”
My breath shuddered in my chest, my face pressed against her.
“It’s alright, Sebastian, it’s going to be alright, tesoro.”
“Fuck, Caro,” I gasped. “I keep seeing…”
“I know, baby, I know.”
I covered my eyes as if my shaking hands could hide me from the memories. And I knew her friends must have heard me. Disgust at my weakness made me burn with shame. So fucking weak.
“I can’t go out there, Caro. I can’t see them like this.”
“You don’t have to,” she said, stroking my hair. “Stay here, I’ll see them off. Two minutes, tesoro.”
She kissed me quickly and headed out of the room.
I sat on the edge of the bed, panting like I’d just run a marathon. My legs were weak and my whole body was trembling, but I made it to the shower, letting the hot water chase away the demons, even if it was just for a while.
I leaned against the tiles, my hands outstretched, and the water pouring over my head, the noise drowning out the screams I could still hear in my head.
Then the shower door opened and I felt Caro behind me. I turned to her and she wrapped her arms around me. Safe.
That night, she held me in our bed, never letting go. I felt humiliated that her friends had seen … or rather heard me like that, weak, vulnerable, pathetic.
Caro said it didn’t matter, but it mattered to me.
I hated feeling like this. I just wanted the nightmares to stop. I wondered if they ever would. Every time I thought I was getting better, that cold bitch fate reminded me that I couldn’t escape.
“My friends really liked you, Sebastian,” she said quietly. “And they think you’re hot. Should I be worried?”
“Fuck no,” I muttered into her hair.
She laughed gently. “They weren’t that bad.”
“They probably wonder what the fuck you’re doing with me.”
“Shhh, they know I love you and that you love me. Nothing else matters.”
I wanted that to be true, but it wasn’t.
“Well, I may have told them a little white lie,” she began.
“Yeah?”
“I told them that we were thinking of getting married on October 2nd—your 28th birthday.”
My eyes flashed open as I stared at her, hope burning a hole through my chest.
“Is that what you want, baby?”
“Only if you do,” she replied cautiously.
“Caro, I’ll marry you tomorrow, if you’ll have me.”
She smiled and ran her warm hands down my spine.
“We need to give our friends a little time to buy plane tickets—you said Ches was going to come?”
“Sure, okay. October 2nd. It’ll be the best fucking birthday ever.”
The next day I was in a foul mood.
I was still pissed that Caro’s friends had been around for my pathetic public meltdown. Caro said it didn’t matter; I said she was fucking dumb if she thought that. Yeah, not too smart of me. I thought she was going to throw something, but instead she stormed out of the house. Again.
I didn’t blame her. If I could have walked any distance, I’d have stormed out, as well.
She called my outbursts ‘emotional grenades’. I didn’t mean to take it out on her, but I guess she was the only person in the firing line.
I sighed and stared out the window for the fiftieth time since she left. I looked up and down the street, but I couldn’t see Caro. In fact the only person I could see was our neighbor, an elderly lady named Mrs. Levenson.
She was okay; talked a lot, but was nice enough.
I didn’t feel like talking today, so when she knocked on the door, I thought about ignoring her. Then I gave myself a swift kick in the nuts: since when was I such a pussy that I couldn’t even answer the fucking door to a grandma?
I limped over to the front door and pulled it open.
“Oh, Sebastian, good afternoon. How are you, young man? Still skinny, I see. That woman of yours needs to feed you up a bit more. If you were my boy I’d soon put some flesh on your bones.” Then she leaned over and slapped my stomach. “Hmm, some good muscles there. You need to eat more red meat.”
I looked at her in amusement. “May I help you with something, ma’am?”
“Ah, yes. Is Lee around?”
“No, ma’am, she went out. But I don’t think she’ll be much longer.”
She huffed a bit, then said, “Never mind, you’ll do. I’ve had this letter sitting in my house since Friday. Well, as you know, it was my grandson’s Bar mit
zvah, so I’ve been staying with my son in Riverdale, he’s a doctor and…”
I zoned out for the rest. Mrs. Levenson never could use one word when fifty was more fun. She rattled out words like a submachine gun. Eventually she got to the point.
“…so this letter isn’t for me at all; it’s for Lee. Would you please make sure she gets it?”
When I assured her that I’d deliver the letter, she finally agreed that I could probably manage that task. Fuck me, they should send her to Afghanistan—the Taliban would run away screaming.
I noticed that the letter was from London, but I didn’t recognize the sender’s address. I laid it on the coffee table for Caro, then went back to staring out the window when a car pulled up. Jee-zus—her harpy friend, Nicole. It really wasn’t my day.
She got out of the car carrying what looked like a guitar case. Aw hell, I really hoped this wasn’t some sort of kumbaya intervention.
I opened the door reluctantly.
“Hello, jailbait,” she snarked.
“Hello, ball buster,” I replied, leaning against the doorframe.
She grinned at me, not at all concerned about what I’d called her.
“Where’s Lee?” she asked, pushing past me into the house.
“Out,” I said shortly, not interested in a conversation.
“Yeah? What did you do to piss her off this time?”
I sighed as she settled herself into a chair.
“The usual.”
She chuckled. “Our Lee is a little pocket rocket—must be her Italian blood. She’ll give you a run for your money, Hunter.”
“Yeah, whatever,” I griped, not really meaning it.
She waved a hand. “Well anyway, Lee told me you wanted to learn guitar. She thought it would be good therapy for the shoulder you got the crap shot out of. So this is for you.”
I stared at her as she pushed the guitar case toward me. I must have looked like a freakin’ idiot. I hadn’t mentioned anything about wanting to learn guitar—well, not for a long time. Certainly not recently—not since...
“Um, thanks?” I muttered awkwardly.
“No biggie,” she said, waving my words away. “I haven’t played since college. It’s a shame that it’s going to waste. Just promise me we won’t be singing campfire songs next time we all come over.”
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