by T. S. Joyce
Her mind skittered away from the night she became She-Devil, though. It was too hard to think about, too hard to dwell on. She’d worked very hard to block those memories completely, and he was scratching at the edge of them. She-Devil snarled and writhed inside of her.
Annalise bit her lip hard, fighting the Change her panther demanded. She dipped her gaze to his work boots. “There were times I wanted to tell you everything, but you seemed so anti-shifter, and I got scared. I didn’t tell anyone this happened to me. I know you’re mad, but I want you to know it wasn’t just you I hid from. I cut myself off from everyone in my old life.”
Jaxon ran his hand down his beard and took a careful step closer. “I wanted to tell you what I was, too.”
This was the game then—trust. He had just rewarded her honesty, and now she would reward him…by taking a step toward him. He kept his eyes trained on her sneakers as she did.
“I got on that dating site because I was so lonely I thought I would die of it,” she whispered, unable to hold his gaze.
Jaxon took another small step forward, and now only five yards separated them. He smelled so good.
He scratched the back of his neck and admitted, “I got on that dating site looking for a human companion.”
“Why?”
“You ain’t ready to talk about your bite, and I’ll never be ready to talk about why.”
“No step forward for that one, mister. You didn’t give me anything.”
“I’m a rogue,” he ground out.
“What does that mean?”
“It means I have no crew. I never pledged to one.”
“Ben said you’re a Gray Back.”
He made a single ticking sound behind his teeth and stared off into the woods. “Ben doesn’t know me. Nobody does. That was the crew I was born into. The alpha’s name is Creed. He’s good. There are beasts in that crew. Brawlers and trackers. A seer. I never pledged to it though. I’m a nomad. I wander, and then I go home, and a couple days later, I wander again. Nothing holds me. Nothing anchors me.”
“Did you get on that site to find an anchor?”
He dipped his chin once, blazing green eyes locked on hers.
Sadness washed through her. “And you found me instead.”
Another nod.
He’d earned the three steps she took toward him.
“Admission, I came up here determined to tell you to leave,” she whispered.
He took a step. “Admission, when I drove away today, I was determined not to come back.”
Step. “Admission, I’m really glad you did come back.”
Step. “Admission, I want to kill whoever bit you, and I wanna do it slowly, inflicting maximum pain.”
Annalise closed her eyes and inhaled sharply at how good it felt that he was protective of her. If he saw what she was really capable of, he would run, but if his animal urges matched hers, perhaps she could keep him longer. They were so close now, just a couple feet away from each other. He was tall and strong, straight-backed. Fists still clenched at his sides, chin held high and proud, eyes blazing that striking green.
“Admission.” She closed her eyes tightly because she was too big a coward to watch his face when she said this part. “I always imagined what it would be like if we met, and I got to touch you. You said you wished you could hug me. That you would make a bad day okay.” She dragged in a sharp, emotional breath and tried to control her emotions. “Jax, it’s been a really bad fucking day. A lot of bad days actually.”
The softest brush of his fingers touched her cheek, and her response was instant. She sagged forward and slid her arms up his strong chest around the back of his neck. Jaxon didn’t hesitate. He bent down and lifted her against him until she had her legs wrapped around his hips. She held him tight, and his arms went strong around her back as he crushed her in place against his chest. He didn’t rock them side to side, or gentle the hug. This embrace felt like desperation. He slid his massive hand up her spine to the back of her neck, and he squeezed. She should’ve felt trapped here against the brick wall of his solid body, held in place by his impossibly strong arms. But all she felt was safe.
“I can’t have you,” he whispered, his voice shaking, his arms shaking, his body shaking. “I can’t fucking have you, Anna.”
“Shhh,” she said, burying her face against his neck. He smelled so good, familiar already somehow. His cologne, and the scent of dominance and fur. No pain, though. He didn’t smell like his injuries from the fight were still hurting him. Good.
Mindlessly, she licked his throat with the very tip of her tongue just to taste him. He gripped her hair in an instant and leaned into her, rested his whiskered cheek against hers. They were moving, but she didn’t want to open her eyes to see where. She just wanted to be lost in this feeling right now. How many hundreds of times had she imagined the moment they met? How many hundreds of times had she imagined how it would feel to be wrapped around his body like this, lost in each other’s embrace?
Her butt hit something cold, and she realized he’d settled her against the hood of his truck. Jaxon hadn’t loosened his grip at all though, not even a little.
“Babe, I’ve wanted this so bad,” she whispered, out of her mind with how good his strong hands felt gripping her hair and her back.
“Fuck,” he said, his voice tinged with desperation. “I have to…” He eased off her and locked his muscular arms onto the cold metal of the truck, and he rested his head against her shoulder and then shook it slowly. “Anna,” he murmured.
She didn’t know why, but she wanted to cry. No moment had ever felt this important. Jaxon was falling apart with her. She was filled with such relief at finally, finally getting to touch him, but she also knew this was temporary. And how could they go back to not seeing each other after soul-changing moments like these?
She ran her hands through his longer hair on top and scratched them gently down his burred hair in the back just to feel the texture, just to feel him. He shivered curiously as he left his head resting against her shoulder. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her back and stood. His bright green eyes were full of a deep emotion she didn’t understand. He tilted his chin up high again, proud man, and looked like the fierce warrior she’d seen in the woods today.
“Tell me what to do.”
Annalise licked her lips. “What do you want to do?”
“Real story?” That was what he’d always asked if she got onto him for joking his way through an important conversation.
She dipped her chin. “I think we should only do real stories from here on.”
His blazing eyes practically glowed in the dim light as they dropped to her lips. “I wanna kiss you.”
Her smile was instant, and her cheeks heated with pleasure. Her stomach filled with a fluttering sensation that she’d only ever gotten with him when he texted sweet things to her out of the blue. “You gave me butterflies again,” she whispered, cupping his cheeks just to touch him. Just to feel his rough whiskers against her smooth palms. Just to be connected to him.
He turned and bit one palm gently and then straightened and slid his hands up her bare legs to her shorts, and then he gripped her hips. He was a massive man, a giant, and his hands nearly encircled her waist, but it wasn’t intimidating. It was sexy as hell being so small next to him. It was nice thinking She-Devil didn’t even stand a chance against his grizzly. It was nice knowing she wasn’t the biggest beast here in these woods. And Jaxon was steady. He’d controlled his animal today. He’d stopped mid-charge on Ben.
Can you teach me how to be this thing? She wanted to ask him so badly, but there was some barrier between the panthers and the outside world that she didn’t understand yet, so the question stayed lodged in her throat.
Jaxon’s dark brows lowered slightly as he eased forward, and his hand went from her hip to trail up her ribs and then arm. Across her cheekbone, he brushed the barest touch. The corner of his lips lifted slightly.
This was ha
ppening, the moment she’d yearned for all these months. As he leaned into her, she closed her eyes and angled her face, and his lips pressed to hers. This was a first-love kiss. This was the big one a girl thought about her whole life.
Jaxon pulled her closer and inhaled deeply as he pressed his kiss more firmly onto her lips. He took her wrists in his big hands and pushed his thumbs onto her tripping pulse for just a few seconds before he smiled against her mouth and pulled her hands behind his neck. Oh God, he was good. Jaxon was like a damn professional kisser, and she was clumsy compared to him. Smooth operator. He sucked gently on her top lip and pulled her waist until their hips connected. And there was nothing sexier than this, right here, kissing on the hood of his truck, tasting each other, alone in the woods, under the full moon. Happy. Lost in each other’s arms. She wanted to stay like this forever. Well…maybe not just like this. Sweet kisses were amazing with him, but her naughty hands tingled to feel his body. She controlled herself for a while, up until the point where he let off a sexy little snarl and nipped her bottom lip. Annalise let off a helpless sound and pushed her knees open wider, so his hips could rest right between her thighs, pressed up against her. Jaxon pushed his tongue past her lips and dipped it against hers, shallowly at first, but then harder and deeper and more desperate with every stroke after that. The man worked her into an inferno. Her insides turned to lava, sparking every time he gently rolled his hips. Fuck, she had to feel him.
She-Devil was making noise now, growling low and deep in her throat. Mortified, Annalise drew back and pressed her fingers against her lips, swallowed hard to try and stop the noise.
“Don’t,” Jaxon snarled, yanking her hand from her face as he offered her a feral smile. “I like that sound.”
Annalise’s eyes were probably as big as flying saucers and bright gold like the sun as she sat frozen, staring at his sexy face. Jaxon pulled her hand to his chest, which was heaving with deep breaths. His lips crashed against hers, and the gentleness was gone. Oh, he’d set them both on fire now. His rigid muscles were firm and strong under her fingertips, and just to test what he would let her get away with, she slid her flattened palm down the curve of his chest to the defined mounds of his abs. And fuck yeah, she did some math and counted those sexy things. Eight. A freaking eight-pack, and now she needed to feel his skin.
When she slipped her touch under the hem of his shirt and brushed her fingertips along the line of his belt, Jaxon’s stomach twitched. He inhaled sharply, rested his forehead against hers for a second, and swayed toward her. And then his hand was on her neck again, pulling her in as he kissed her senseless, mindless, brainless. Instinct took over, and apparently that instinct was to meld her body to his because now she was pressed against him so tightly, there was no end and no beginning to either of them. God she loved this. Loved being locked up with him. Loved the loss of her mind, her stress, her tension. He’d always had this ability to give her an escape, and this was the best she’d ever experienced. She wasn’t She-Devil anymore. Sure, the snarl was still in her throat, but there was no shame, no worry. She couldn’t hurt a man like Jaxon. He was made to withstand storms and teeth and claws. He was strong enough to withstand all her ugly pieces, and somehow, someway, he was making her feel beautiful.
Feeling brave, she slid her hands up his bare stomach, then ran her nails lightly up his chest. Jaxon yanked back by inches and pulled his shirt off in one smooth motion, then guided her hands back to his skin as he kissed her again. She smiled against his lips. His desperation for her touch matched her need for his. Tomorrow would be full of regrets, but she didn’t care about that right now. She just wanted to be lost in Jaxon, her great escape. She wanted to feel normal for a little while, like she wasn’t a monster.
Jaxon pulled her shirt over her head and let it slip to the ground. He sucked hard on her bottom lip and then held it between his teeth as he popped the button of her jeans and ripped the zipper down. The butterflies in her stomach were rioting as he slid his hand down the front of her…granny panties. Shit.
He ended the kiss with a soft smack and glanced down. “What the hell are you wearing?” he asked through an amused grin.
Annalise clamped her arms over her lap and tensed her legs. “I hadn’t intended on fooling around.”
“Are these even the right size?” he asked, chuckling as he pushed her arms away and pulled at the loose hem of her ugly purple polka-dotted comfies.
“Stop,” she complained, swatting at him.
“Woman, I thought I knew your underwear drawer. What about the dozen cute panty pictures you sent me? These never made the cut?”
His dark eyebrow was arched up, and he was smiling big. She was equal parts horrified and trying not to laugh to encourage him. “Go back to passionate kisses and ignore these. I don’t want to laugh right now, Jaxon! I want to be turned on. And I want to turn you on. Just pretend I’m in something sexier.”
He laughed harder and pulled her hand to his erection. Yep, still hard as a rock. “Anna, I don’t give a shit about your panties. They’re just an obstacle. I’m keeping these, though. I’m gonna frame the fucking huge things—ow!” he said, dislodging himself from where she had clamped her teeth down on his shoulder.
“You’re drying me up right now, Jaxon,” she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.
“That’s a lie,” he rumbled, easing between her legs again and sliding his hand down the front of her panties. He buried his face against her neck and plucked at the sensitive skin there gently with his lips as he cupped her sex and slid his finger inside of her.
She gasped and gripped the back of his head as she rocked against his hand. He’d listened when she’d told him her neck was one of her favorite places for a man to pay attention to, but paired with him pushing into her just about did her in.
He sucked hard on her neck, hard enough to bruise, but she liked it. She hoped it left a mark. She hoped he left proof they’d broken Ben’s rules to be together tonight. The pace he set was slow, and he pulled his finger all the way out each time before he shoved it deep again. She was already so freaking close, but this wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough.
“I want more,” she huffed in a shaky whisper.
“This is enough for tonight.”
Annalise reared back and searched his face. Confusion washed over his features briefly before realization settled in his striking green eyes. “You don’t think you’ll ever see me again,” he murmured in a deep timbre her heart had already memorized.
Exactly that. She was scared. Terrified that this…tonight…was all they had for the rest of their lives. She couldn’t bring herself to say her fears out loud though, so she kissed him instead, silently pleading for him to give her more.
“Fuck,” he murmured against her lips. And then she was moving again. He lifted her off the hood of his truck and settled her on the ground. The grass tickled her shoulder blades, but he’d found a soft enough spot. Jaxon was in work mode right now, on his knees between her legs, pulling her shorts and panties off with a look of such intensity, her stomach dropped to her back. He was beautiful, if a man could be called that. Tall and strong, his wide shoulders and arms flexing with every movement, his jaw gritted in fierce determination, his gaze between her legs with that striking shifter color glowing from them. Now she could see his tattoos weren’t just on his neck and arms, but covered his chest as well. Whoever had done them was a true artist. They’d turned his body into a canvas, into a masterpiece. His black hair was mussed from removing his shirt, and the moonlight cast his muscles in shadows and highlights that made her wish she had a camera to capture this moment. Even with the animal snarl in his throat and those inhuman eyes, he was perfect.
She reached for him, needing suddenly to touch his smooth skin again, needing for him to be pressed against her. He was so much bigger than her, but she felt safe, even as he crushed his weight on top of her and kissed her hard. Before She-Devil, it would’ve been too rough, but now she was purrin
g that he wasn’t being gentle. His hand went to the back of her head, and he gripped her hair and arched her head back, exposing her neck to his biting kisses again. And then he was there, the head of his cock touching her entrance. Her reaction was to claw her fingers up his back.
Stomach flexing against hers, Jaxon slid into her, inch by inch, until she was filled with him. So big. Almost too much. Annalise let off a low groan at how good it felt to have him finally inside her. He held there, buried deep, teeth on her neck, before he eased out again. His lips went to hers on the next stroke, and this thrust was harder, and the next was even harder, faster. His control was slipping, and she fucking loved it. His hands were tight in her hair, and rough on her back as he dragged her even closer. He was pumping into her so fast now, so smooth, hips slamming against hers. It was hard to breathe he was so heavy, so all-encompassing, but panic never made an appearance. All she felt was adored and safe as he guided them both closer to climax. Hips bucking, Jaxon pushed up on his locked arms and told her, “Watch me, Anna.” He gritted his teeth and slammed into her again. “Watch me come. Watch what you do to me.”
His abs flexed every time he pushed into her, his triceps bulged from where he strained above her, and she’d never seen a sexier man than this one, rutting, slamming into her, his eyes locked fiercely on hers.
Annalise cried out his name as her orgasm exploded around him. He slid deep into her and then froze as a feral snarl ripped from him. He dropped down to her again, and his teeth were in this kiss, unforgiving, biting, on the verge of drawing blood as he thrust into her again. His dick throbbed inside of her, filling her with streams of warmth, over and over, encouraging her aftershocks to match his. This was everything. It was the biggest high, the warmest warmth, the deepest feeling, the most soul-consuming sensation. She’d never experienced anything like this.
Jaxon’s grip gentled in her hair as he slowed his pace, and then he stopped moving completely, other than to massage the back of her neck. His breath tickled her throat as he petted her, adored her. Encouraged by his open affection, she ran her nails lightly up and down the strong planes of his back until the growl in his throat died completely.