by Lyla Grace
Brain function is minimal right now, and God knows where it was when my phone rang at 3 a.m. and I agreed to let him come over to apologize. Somehow I had to have known what that would lead to. Subconsciously I am sure I did, and that’s why I agreed. Not that I regret it. As always, Landon Sutton delivered. But what the hell do I do with him now? Being pissed about him walking out on me gave me the perfect out of whatever this is between us. And yes, if I am honest with myself, there is something going on. Something I don’t want, but it’s there nonetheless.
Opening that door last night, I let him back in with no clue as how to get rid of him, or quite frankly if I even want to. It’s been a long time since I have had this much fun. And here I thought he was uptight.
“Hey, Stud,” I say, trying to rouse him as I run my fingers up and down those washboard abs of his. I resist the temptation to reach down lower and take what I want. Damn insatiable hormones. His big, hulking body stirs. “Time to get up. This girl has to get to work.”
“What time is it?” he yawns.
It’s 6 a.m. now, and when I reveal that to him, he pops up out of the bed instantly. Though I should be hurrying, I take time to enjoy the view of him standing completely nude in front of me in all his gloriousness. The sight of him is so tempting that I contemplate calling off work to stay in bed with him all day. It seems as though he may have something better to do, though. He starts grabbing for his clothes and pulling them on. “I have to be at the stadium in thirty minutes. Shit, I don’t even have my car.”
“I’ll give you a ride.” I wink at him, because there is definitely a double entendre there, and that is one promise I plan on keeping.
When we pull up at the player entrance to the stadium, some of the guys are outside, bullshitting. Knowing this group of jokers, which currently includes my brother, Landon is going to receive all sorts of hell for this. Lucky for him, I am a girl with many talents. He tries to play it cool as he gets out of the car with an “I’ll see ya,” but I can see the awkwardness in his eyes. We’ve never really had a moment like this before. Is he going to call me? Am I going to call him? Will we see each other later? Granted, I realize the answers to these questions mostly depend on me, but let’s be real here. As long as he plans on fucking me like he did this morning, I am game for whatever he wants. Well, as long as it doesn’t include the word “relationship.”
So, he gets out of the car, and I can hear some of the guys already. Poor Landon. I get out of the car and lean against the driver’s side door.
“Hey, Stud,” I yell after him. He turns and eyes me up and down, my legs crossed out in front of me, my skirt riding up a little higher than it should. And just when I have all of their attention, I push myself off of the car and walk over to him. I can see his body tense, unsure of what I am going to do right now. I like that he’s on edge, but he really needs to quit being so uptight. It’s not like I am going to drop to my knees and suck him off; I am a lady, after all. Well, most of the time. “Thanks for an amazing morning, baby; I can’t wait to see you later.”
My lips cover his and somehow, someway, it just gets better with every kiss. I wanted to give the guys something to talk about, but hell, he’s giving me something to talk about too and leaving me with little reason to want to end this kiss. Job? What job? The way his hand grips my hip, I am pretty sure that he doesn’t want this to end, either.
“You’re killing me, Livie.” His breaths are ragged as he leans his forehead against mine.
One last quick kiss, because I just can’t resist, and I head back to my car. I may be killing him, but he is just waking me up.
“Hey, gorgeous, how you holding up?” Becca asks as she puts my cup of coffee on my desk. “Because you sure as hell sounded happy this morning.” She lets out a little giggle, and I can’t help but smile, too. “You are never like that.”
She is right. Typically, I am pretty quiet in bed. A few squeaks and a couple moans, and that’s about it. But with Landon? I lose my breath, I gasp for the air that being with him takes right out of me, and I alternate between “Oh God” and “Fuck,” more than I have ever said either in my life to date. “What can I say? He inspires me.”
“Mmmm-hmmm. He does something to you, alright. I’m just not sure if inspiration in the right word.” In an instant the look on her face changes. “Anything else from…?”
I nod. “A few more texts from him; nothing to worry about. I really don’t want to think about that right now. It has been an amazing but very long morning. And I would just like to bask in my afterglow.”
And I do. Because the fear that wells up inside me anytime I think about Will paralyzes me, and being with Landon keeps me moving, makes my world spin. Maybe that isn’t the most rational way to handle it, but I can’t help it. I want to enjoy what time I have before his release-- because once he’s out? I will most certainly live in a state of fear. For the time being, though, Landon can keep me happily occupied.
“And they will notify you when he is released?” she confirms. Becca has asked this same question every day from the moment we found out he was being released.
“Yes, Mom. They will notify me.”
“I really think you should tell Chase. But I know you disagree and don’t want to worry him sooner than necessary.” I glare at her and she puts her hands in the air in surrender. “Okay, I’ll shut up. Just promise me you’ll be careful, Liv.”
Be careful? I was always careful. Hell, I tried to be perfect. I was cautious with every word that came out of my mouth, performed every sexual act he wanted, when he wanted. I could not have been more careful. That is, until apparently he decided I wasn’t. Because when it comes to Will and his temper, being careful is just not possible. There is no telling what is going to set him off or when.
As much as I hate to admit it, I am going to need Chase. If Will was already able to reach me at work, then there isn’t a doubt in my mind he will find me at home. But right now, I just want to think about Landon and the way his lips felt on my thighs this morning. The trail of kisses leaving me writhing and panting. And lest I forget…wanting more.
Barely two hours have passed since I dropped him off, and here I am reaching for my phone to text him already. Oy, this isn’t good.
Hey Stud, What are you doing tonight?
I try my hardest to sound casual, not show how desperate I am to see him. After all, he doesn’t need to know how much I want him. Realistically, I don’t even understand what this draw to him is, and until I do, we need to remain just that, casual. I put my phone down, figuring I won’t hear back from him for a while. But within moments the phone chimes, and my screen lights up.
You.
Everything in me begins to tingle. It’s amazing the reaction that one word can instill in someone. And his response? Well, it just caused my panties to dampen at his promise.
You sound pretty sure of yourself.
I can actually visualize the look on his face as he reads it. Most men hate it, but Landon seems to get a kick out of me challenging him. And I sure as hell love playing these little flirtatious games. It makes this uneven playing field we’re on a little easier to tackle.
After all the screaming and moaning you did this morning… I think it’s a pretty safe bet.;)
I’ll give him that. He pretty much turned me into his sex slave that first night. The way the man worked me, teased me, penetrated me, he turned me into putty in his hands. I become insatiable when I am around him, needing and wanting him more each time he is in me. Plus, I could really use the distraction now with Will’s release looming over my head. I know I’m safe for a couple more weeks. Might as well live it up while I can.
See you tonight.
I smile to myself as I put my phone down on my desk. I try to push the events of the past couple of days out of my head and try to focus on work. I shoot through my emails, and before I know it, Becca is knocking on my door.
“You want to grab some lunch?” she asks. As though my stomach
can actually hear her words, it grumbles in hunger. After that workout this morning and skipping breakfast, I am starving. So I grab my purse, and we head out to our favorite restaurant.
Becca plays with the straw in her glass of water. “So? What’s the deal with you and Landon?”
“No deal. We’re just friends.”
“Oh, come on. Who are you trying to kid here--besides yourself, of course?”
I exhale, trying to keep calm. She knows me; I get it. But could she just give me a break once in a while? “I don’t know, okay? I like him. The sex is out of this world.” I see her start to speak. “BUT, and this is a big but…my life is kind of a disaster right now. I mean, Will getting paroled is enough to deal with. I don’t want to have to worry about starting a relationship on top of it. Besides, Landon deserves better than to be my trial run at a relationship.” Well, at least at a healthy relationship, one that doesn’t involve abuse or control.
“You keep saying Landon deserves better. What about you, Livie? Don’t you deserve better for a change? And believe me…Landon is better. In fact, even not having met him yet…I know he is right for you. I’ve never seen you glow like this, Liv. Every time you mention his name you just…glow. I know it sounds cheesy, but you do.”
I smile too. A lot. It’s like this uncontrollable force when I think about him. My mouth just automatically curls into a smile, and my heart rate spikes a little.
“You know how bad I am at relationships,” I deflect.
“No, I don’t. I know that you got yourself into bad relationships, but you weren’t the bad part. Will was the bad part. Schroeder was the bad part. Even that Ryan guy who seemed so nice…he was the bad part. Trust me, Liv. As an outsider looking in, I can see more clearly than you can.”
The saddest part of all this is that this is what I preach to every single woman who walks through the door at Haven House. “It wasn’t you. No matter what you did, you didn’t deserve to be hit.” Why did it apply to them and not me? Maybe it’s because of the continual pattern of abusive relationships I have had? Maybe because even before those relationships, I was told that trash like me didn’t deserve anything. Listen to me. Now I am psychoanalyzing myself. I am one step away from turning my life into a drama-filled Lifetime Movie. But don’t those usually have happy endings? Maybe Landon could be my happy ending. I silently curse myself for even thinking it.
“What are you thinking?” Becca asks.
I smile at her. “That having a brutally honest best friend like you sometimes isn’t ideal.”
She laughs. “I warned you. And you still wanted to be my roommate.”
Luckily, she allows me to change the subject as our food arrives, letting the chit-chat be a little more lighthearted. There is only so much I could take at once, and Becca has pushed enough on the two subjects I am struggling with. We make our way back to the office, and when I finally settle into my desk, I instantly reach for the phone. Despite the Will issue hanging over my head, today has been a great day and only promises to get better, based on the text I just got from Landon.
Be at your place at 8. Be ready.
I text him back. Ready for what? And all I get back is a stupid winking emoji. I should probably inform him that I hate surprises.
With several hours still ahead of me until I see Landon, I clear my mind, refocus, and get back to work. No time like the present then to reach out to the Director of Marketing at POSH magazine regarding the joint endeavor I have been working on. The leading women’s fashion magazine teaming up with a women’s shelter is a win for both sides. Unfortunately, the past two attempts I have made have been denied by their extremely unpleasant—okay, super bitchy is more like it--Director of Marketing. She literally turns me down before I can even get out a synopsis of my proposal. How they can have this woman working for them, leading their marketing team and even worse their charitable donations department, I haven’t a clue. But maybe today is my lucky day. It did start with me getting lucky, so….
“Ms. Matthews, as I told you before and I will tell you again, preferably for the last time, we are not interested in your little non-profit organization. We do plenty of work with organizations that fund real issues. Now please, quit contacting me,” the woman says before she hangs up.
I slam the phone down. That woman is…she’s…I am so pissed I can’t even think of a word awful enough to describe her. How hard is it to listen to a pitch? She was already on the phone with me. Hell, why even answer the damn phone if you don’t want to hear what I have to say?
Frustration rages through me, and I let out an audible sigh. I am out of ideas--good ones, at least. I even tried contacting the head of the magazine, but obviously that was a lost cause. Someone in her position with her stature surely wouldn’t have time for me. But I have heard numerous times what a generous and kind woman she is, and I really think she would love the benefits of partnering with Haven House. Not that we’ll ever know now.
It’s almost eight o’clock when I am putting the finishing touches on my surprise for Landon. After all, two can play at this game. While I may hate surprises, something tells me that coming from Landon, I am going to enjoy it. Luckily for me, Becca offered to make herself scarce for the night.
My phone pings and I rush to it for what I can only assume is a text from Landon letting me know he is on his way. But it’s not Landon. It’s a sign of why I should tell him to run.
You are mine, Livie. You always will be – I will make sure of that. Better tell your little boyfriend to watch his back. I always take what I want.
My body tenses. The message sends chills down my spine. He knows about Landon. But how? The idea of him having someone watch me makes my skin crawl. I read the words again. What if he goes after Landon? Does something to hurt him? I can’t let that happen. Not because of me.
The knock on the door startles me, causing me to scream. The knocking becomes more insistent, with his voice drowning it out, “Livie, it’s Landon. Are you okay in there?”
Shit. I take a deep breath, roll my shoulders back, and open the door. Will has ruined enough of me. I refuse to let him have this too. Even if Landon and I can’t last – I will be damned if I don’t enjoy it while I can. “Just a minute,” I shout. I take one last look in the mirror before I head to the door to greet Landon. I check the peephole to see his handsome face waiting anxiously for me to open the door.
“Hey, Stud,” I greet as I lean the length of my body against the open door. Those amazing blue eyes of his look my body up and down. Not once, not twice, but the third time is the charm. His gaze moves up slowly, taking in the black heels, up the thigh-high stockings, stopping momentarily on the black-and-red lace boy shorts. His eyes continue their travels up my barely dressed body, stopping on my breasts. They are popping out of my matching bra, causing his tongue to dart out and lick his lips in anticipation. He moves up further to my red lips and I can see him start to unravel, his intense stare hazing over with desire. “Come on in,” I invite. I turn and head back into the apartment, giving him the full view. Landon follows close behind. I bend seductively to grab a beer off the table and extend it to him.
“No thanks,” he says. “Livie, you look phenomenal. And I hate to kill the mood, but is everything okay? You seem a little off.”
What is it with this guy? I am doing my best to pretend everything is okay, and yet, somehow, he can see right through me. Unable to lie to his face, I turn away. “I’m fine, Stud. Nothing to worry about.”
His hands come to rest on my upper arms. “Livie, something has you spooked. You can talk to me; you can trust me.”
“I know,” I whisper. I want to tell him so badly. About everything, Will’s release, the creepy messages. But I can’t burden him with that, because whatever is going on between us cannot get that deep. I need it to be fun and light and freeing. When I turn back to face him, concern is etched on his face. My fingers find their way to the waistband of his jeans and hook into his belt loops, tugging him
even closer to me.
“I have other plans for tonight, though,” I say suggestively.
Landon places his hand behind my neck and directs my gaze up to him. The intensity in his stare suddenly leaves me nervous. My skin tingles; my mouth goes dry. I have no idea what is going on in his head, but my body is too impatient to wait and find out. I press my body firmly against his, my hands still caressing his torso. His head goes back. “Fuck, Liv.”
“That’s the plan, Stud.”
His eyes shoot back to me, fingers digging into my hips and hoisting me up. My legs wrap around his waist. “You have no idea, sweetheart.”
A barely audible gasp escapes me. The promise of that statement has me filled with anticipation. I can only imagine what the man has in mind. I am clawing at him, grinding on him, silently begging him to give me what I need so desperately.
He lays me down on the couch, his body covering mine. Through the fabric of his jeans and my lace shorts, I can feel the solidness of his cock pressed up against my entrance. And when his lips make their way down my neck to my breasts, any thoughts not relating to him vanish from my head. I look up at him. He must see the same look in my eyes that I do in his, because we instantly become a frenzied, pawing mess of kisses, hands, and holy shit when he slides inside of me full force, we both stop. Guttural moans escape both of us. It’s as though we’re one, the way our bodies move together, the way our desires sync, our pace, our rhythm the same. And when he takes my nipple between his teeth I feel myself clench around him, my orgasm hitting hard at the same time his does.
He rolls us over, my body on top of his. I rest my head on his shoulder, my mind a crazed mess of emotions. Between what is going on with Will and whatever Landon is making me feel, it’s all very overwhelming. Whatever happened to sex just being sex? Where are all these damn emotions coming from? As much as I want to walk away, maybe even need to, I can’t. Not yet, at least. This is too amazing of a feeling, he’s too amazing of a man. I don’t want to let go just yet.