by Lyla Grace
“No, but what can I say--I’m expanding my tastes. Looking for something a little more…refined,” he says.
And the snake charmer ways must run in the family, because a couple minutes later Livie and Becca are headed back to the table with the woman. Not that I am surprised. Livie is definitely a “I get what I want” kind of girl. Hell, all it takes is one look and she can have any damn thing she wants from me.
“Boys, this is Holly. Holly, this is Landon, and this is my brother Chase.”
I extend my hand to her and she takes it, a sugary smile on her face. “It is such a pleasure to meet you, Landon. Oh, my, you are strong. Just look at all these muscles.” She squeezes my bicep with her free hand.
Livie and Chase stare, mouths agape. I can’t help myself and play along with her. The fact that this woman is cajoling any type of reaction out of Livie has me hopeful. I have to play it smart, make sure I am flirting back, but not obviously. I definitely have the nice-guy routine down pat, and now is the perfect time to pull it out.
Holly giggles at something I say, and out of the corner of my eye I see Livie’s face flush in what I can only assume is anger. And Chase--well, it’s not very often that I am the one getting the girl. Not that I am not capable; I’m just usually not interested.
“You are just such a sweetheart,” Holly gushes. “We should go out some time.”
Before I can answer, Livie makes her way next to me, her arm around my waist and her body pressed against mine. “Sorry sweetheart, but he’s busy,” she says, her voice dripping with contempt.
“I’m sorry, was I talking to you?” Holly says.
And now the claws come out. “He’s taken. Back off,” Livie argues.
“You may want to tell him that, since I didn’t really see him protesting,” Holly says before she walks away.
I’m barely paying attention to the glare I am getting from Livie, because I am reveling in the fact that she just staked a claim on me. As I come down from my high, I look her deep in the eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I was just being nice. But you, on the other hand….”
“I what?” she demands.
“I’m yours?”
The realization of what she just said sinks in. “Let’s go, Becca,” Livie says, flustered, as she heads for the door.
I can’t help but smile. She may not want to admit it, but this thing between us, it’s softening her. She’s starting to open up to the possibility.
I shoot off a quick text reminding her that I have eyes only for her. My smile grows even larger when I get her response.
Prove it. My place….30 minutes.
That is one order I intend on following.
I make a lame excuse for needing to head home. Holly is gone, so Chase has little interest in staying at the bar any longer either. As we walk to our cars, Chase yells over his shoulder, “Tell Livie I said hi.”
Apparently, the guy knows me too well.
Chapter 9
Livie
“I thought I told you I didn’t want to see you tonight?” The bite in my voice as I open the door would have been enough to make most people run. But not him--I swear, the man has the patience of a saint. Unfortunately, I am not quite so generous, and my patience is wearing thin. Not to mention that smug smile on his face…ughhh.
“Aw, and I thought you were just playing hard to get.” He pushes past me and enters the apartment.
“Well, I wasn’t.” My arms are folded across my chest, giving the biggest “fuck you” I can think of as I stand by the still-open apartment door.
“Well, since I am already here, we may as well celebrate,” he says with a huge grin on that handsome face of his.
“And what exactly are we celebrating?” I still haven’t moved from my position at the door, but he doesn’t seem to be getting the hint.
“Your birthday.” He pulls a gorgeously decorated cupcake out of a bag that I just now noticed he was carrying. “Happy Birthday, Livie.”
I can feel my face flush as anger rises in me. “No. Not happening. Get out!” I shout.
Up until this point, I couldn’t tell if he thought I had been joking or if he was just disregarding me. But now, I know it was the former. Hurt and confusion in his voice, he asks, “You want to tell me what the hell is going on here?”
“No. I don’t, which is exactly why I didn’t want to see you. Now leave,” I order.
Damn him for being so sweet. I know he means well, but this ridiculously nice side of him is just making this all that much harder. The fact of the matter is, it’s my birthday. And I should be damn well able to spend it how I choose. Everyone else in my life has accepted this. Even Becca, the queen of forcing me to face my demons, knows better than to bother me on my birthday. Though the poor girl hasn’t a clue why, and it’s the one thing she has been nice enough to not press me on. I am sure she assumes it’s because of Sharon, my wicked mother. Little does she know how far from right she is.
Now I just have to get Landon to accept it the same way. After all, he did agree to follow my rules, all of them. “My rules, Sutton, remember? What I say goes. Now get out.”
He stares at me for a moment before shaking his head. “Fine--if that’s what you really want, I’ll respect that.” He turns toward the door, but then angles his head back toward me. “But don’t forget my rule…you can trust me.”
I don’t know if it was the wine I have been drinking, the momentous emotions that surround this day, the jumbled feeling I have for the man standing in front of me, or some insane combination of all of them, but the floodgates that I never let anyone see open--and open wide.
Strong arms engulf me, gentle hands smooth my hair, and his soft words calm my body and my emotions. The damage is already done, he’s seen me break down. I may as well enjoy the comfort of his arms as the crying subsides and my tears dry. I am grateful for the solace, but I am so far out of my comfort zone that I begin to feel nervous. Does he think I’m crazy? Did I just shatter this perfect image he had of me? Am I more messed up than he wants to deal with? When I lift my head off his chest and meet his eyes, all I can see is compassion and concern. He begins to speak, but I place a finger over his lips. The moment I am out of his grasp, I crave to be back in the safety of his arms.
I take a seat on the couch and toy with one of Becca’s overly ornate throw pillows. “I don’t celebrate my birthday. I haven’t since I was a little girl. Not since I learned the truth.”
If I were in his position, I would be asking a million questions, but instead he takes a seat next to me and patiently waits for me to continue. What I am about to tell him, I have never told anyone before. And it’s no surprise that it’s as hard to talk about as I always imagined it would be. “Today may be the day I was born, but it’s also the day I lost my mother.” He furrows his brow, obviously confused. To the world, Sharon Matthews is my mother, and she is most certainly alive and kicking. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves before I continue. “Sharon isn’t my mother; she’s my step-mother. My dad had an affair with my real mother not too long after Chase was born. I was the unfortunate byproduct.” As each word flows out I feel lighter and lighter, finally unburdening myself of this dirty little secret I have kept for so long. “My mom died giving birth to me. And ever since I found that out, it doesn’t feel quite right to celebrate the day I lost her.”
Unsure if I am able to continue, I look into his eyes for the strength I need. When I do, he takes my hand in his, his other hand wiping a tear from my face. “I am so sorry, Livie. I can’t even imagine how all that must make you feel.”
“Explains why Sharon hates me so much though, right? And where my lack of self-esteem comes from? I mean, you can only hear ‘You’re trash just like your mother’ so many times before you start to believe it.”
“She said that to you? Jesus.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Livie, I need you to hear me, okay? Really hear me.” I nod. “Baby, you are not trash, about as far from it as you can get, and
I am willing to bet that your mother wasn’t, either--that was just Sharon’s way of dealing with the fact that her husband cheated on her. And she most certainly should not have taken that out on you. I promise you that I will show you just how amazing you are and prove it to you every day. And as far as your birthday, it’s up to you how you celebrate it, but I will say this. Despite the fact that she lost her life today, your mother would not want you sitting around crying and miserable on a day that meant the world to her. A mother, a real mother, puts her children before herself. You, Livie, you were her world--and no sacrifice, not even her life, was too big. So believe me when I say that she wouldn’t want this for you.”
Fresh tears stream down my face. He can’t fix years of mental abuse or sadness in one night, but he definitely made a dent in it. For the first time since I was eight, I was grateful for today. I was grateful to my mom, to Landon. “Thank you,” I say meekly.
“Thank you for sharing that with me,” he says.
After all he’s done for me, I need to let him know how much he means to me. “I--I’ve never told anyone that before.”
He looks shocked by my admission. “Not even Becca?” he asks. I shake my head, hoping that he realizes just how significant my opening up to someone like this is. That the fact that I am bearing my soul to him, divulging my deepest secrets – well, it may not be the “more” that I know deep down he wants, but it’s a start. It’s what I can give him right now.
He softly kisses my lips before pulling me in for a hug. “That means a lot to me.”
I pull back and smile at him. “Does this mean that I can have my cupcake now?”
“Gorgeous, you can have anything you want--you know that.”
So we dig in to the cupcake after Landon sings an awful rendition of Happy Birthday that has me on the verge of tears again, this time from laughing so hard. I snuggle into him as we eat.
“Can I ask you a question?” I ask.
“Shoot,” he says as he licks frosting off of his finger.
I look up at him with my biggest doe eyes. I have no right to ask, because he has already given me the most important gift ever: himself. But I do it anyway. “Did you buy me a present?”
“Maybe,” he answers, as a mischievous smile covers his face.
Game on. I may not like surprises, but I sure as hell love presents. And something about Landon tells me he is damn good at giving them. Maybe some new lingerie? A special perfume?
“Give it to me,” I demand.
He shakes his head in defiance. If he thinks his is going to win this game, he has another think coming. I make my way out of his embrace and straddle my slender legs on either side of his strong thighs. I firmly plant my hands on his chest and move in closer until my lips are next to his ear. As I speak, I allow my hands to gently graze his body. “Please, Landon. I’ll do anything.”
Whatever gift he has to give me, the minute those words leave my lips, another package arrives and is ready and waiting for me. “Are you trying to make me beg?” He shrugs his muscular shoulders. It’s a dangerous game I am playing here – he could completely sidetrack me with just a twitch of his cock. I try to focus on the prize as I lean forward, my lips against his ear. “Please, Landon. Please give it to me now.” His fingers dig into my hips. I take his earlobe between my teeth, and when I hear him groan, I know I have won. I jump off of his lap and stand in front of him, hands extended like a child as he digs for something in his pocket. He produces a small black box and places it in my hands.
“Happy Birthday, Livie.”
The size of the small jewelry box makes me nervous. I know Landon wouldn’t propose; he isn’t crazy, but I can’t seem to help feeling a tinge of excitement at the possibility. A whole lot of being scared out of my mind, too.
“All that begging, and you’re not going to open it?” he asks.
I realize I have been staring at the velvet box longer than I should. I slowly lift the lid. Inside is a square black onyx stone surrounded by diamonds.
“They say that onyx symbolizes protection, and diamonds….”
“Help amplify strength, among other things. I … I don’t know what to say, Landon. It’s beautiful.”
“It pales in comparison to you.” He takes the necklace from me. “Here, let me help you put it on.” Without him saying so, I know it’s his way of protecting me when he can’t be there. Little does he know just how much I am going to need this.
I close my eyes as I feel his large hands delicately place the chain around my neck. My hand instantly gravitates to the pendant. Such a small object, such a huge meaning – I can’t seem to stop the gauntlet of emotions running through me--emotions that until tonight, I never believed I was deserving of. Love wasn’t something for girls like me; at least, that is what Sharon always said. Did I just say love? Shit, this is worse than I thought. As I turn to him so he can see the pendant, I can’t seem to look him in the eye.
“Are you okay?” His fingers tilt my chin up, forcing me to look into those steel-blue eyes of his. Damn those eyes--despite my protests, every time I look into them, I see the future. I see happiness and love and family…everything I have always craved but never felt worthy of. I tear away from him and divert my eyes anywhere but in his direction. “Talk to me, Livie.” His voice is gentle. Not the hard angry tone I have come to expect from the men in my life. I try like hell to pull myself together, to find the right words to convey to him what I need to say.
The minute his hand touches my arm, I instinctively turn to him and the words spill out of my mouth before I can stop them. “I want to go on a date.” Well, at least I didn’t declare my love for him; that may have been a little much as this point. He looks baffled--happy, but baffled, and I can’t say I am surprised. I have been all over the map tonight, not to mention since the day we met. “I can’t fight this anymore, whatever it is. I…I want to try. I want to go out on a date with you.” There, I said it. And I couldn’t possibly feel more vulnerable and exposed than I do in this moment. “If that’s what you still want.”
“If I still want to? That was even a thought? What do I have to do to get through to you?” I look away bashfully, but he takes my face in his hands and forces me to look at him. This time when I look, though, I see something different. It’s always been there, I realize, but I just never understood it. The desire in his eyes--it’s not just for sex, it’s for me. All of me. Every broken, unworthy piece. And for the first time I get it, I feel it, and it’s so empowering. “Olivia Matthews, it would be my absolute honor to take you on a date.” He presses a chaste kiss to my lips. “Thank you for tonight, for sharing with me, for opening up. I know that’s not easy for you, and I want you to know that it means the world to me that you let me in.”
“I’m afraid of hurting you.” Even I can hear the scared little girl coming out in my voice as I speak the words.
“I’m afraid of hurting you.” His admission strikes me. Him? Hurt me? It’s not a possibility. There is no way he would ever hurt me, strike me, or…break my heart? I recall admitting to him in the hospital that day that I never actually loved Will. Somehow he knows that this, right here, is a first for me. And if anyone can break my heart, it sure as hell would be him. “But everything worthwhile involves some risk--and this right here, what’s happening between us. It is very much worth the risk.”
I don’t have the words to respond to him. I feel incapable of telling him how I feel when I barely understand it myself. So I nod. I smile up at him. And just for tonight, I forget about my rules. Because while I can’t give him exactly what he wants…I can give him all of me. At least for tonight.
Chapter 10
Landon
This is it. The big night. Our first date. It has been a week since she told me that she wanted to go out on a date. And while we have seen each other several times, in several positions since then, I can’t help but feel nervous. There is something so poignant about this moment. So I stand outside her door taking a few dee
p breaths, still not ready to knock. I don’t know what it is about Livie, but she sure as hell has a strange effect on me. I can’t get enough of her. Whether it’s her laugh, her smile, her smart-ass comments or that amazing damn body of hers, I just want more. And her telling me she wanted this date, that she feels the same connection I do--well, it’s a start. Here goes nothing….
A fiery redhead flings the door open. “Well, hello, Hot Stuff.”
“Hi Becca,” I laugh. This girl is something else. I’ve only talked to her on a handful of occasions, but she is definitely not afraid to speak her mind. She cornered me last week when I was trying to sneak out. “Now listen, and listen close. That girl is crazy about you. Your little sexcapade the other day nearly sent her over the edge. By the way…job well done. Anyway, she isn’t going to make any of this easy on you, but I promise, a little patience will go a long way. Let her think you are playing by her rules, and she will be putty in your hands before you know it.”
I blushed the minute the word sex came out of her mouth, because in that moment I realized not only had Livie probably shared details, but the woman has had to hear it firsthand. I thanked her for the information and was grateful to have her on my side. It’s always good to have an ally, especially when that ally is the best friend.
“So I heard you guys celebrated her birthday. How the hell did you get her to do that?” she asks.
“You know as well as I do I have my ways to get her to do what I want,” I say with a wink.
“Okay Hot Stuff, I’ll give you that one. But even that wouldn’t get her to celebrate--trust me, I’ve tried.”
My eyes widen. “Wait, do you mean…? Did you two…? Have you guys…?” I’m not quite sure what she was implying, but I am desperate to find out.
“What are you two talking about?” Livie asks as she makes her entrance into the room.
“Just messing with Landon’s head a little,” Becca says with a taunting giggle before she heads out of the room.