Bryan perked up from behind the wheel. She had piqued his interest. He looked at her curiously through the corner of his eye, and shook his head slightly to move the out of place curl that hung in said eye, not unlike a dog, maybe a golden retriever, after a bath.
‘What’s my type?’
Kate wanted to say, ‘You like girls who boost your social status.’ She didn’t. She wanted to say, ‘You like girls who you think need rescuing because you’ve got a knight in shining armor complex so obvious I’m pretty sure it can be seen from outer space. ’ She didn’t. She wanted to say, ‘You want a future trophy wife.’ She didn’t.
This whole better person business was really killing her.
Instead, she said, ‘You like girls who are pretty, whatever that means. And you like girls who are skinny. And if they’re smart that’s a bonus but you could take or leave if they were nice. You want someone to show off.’
For a moment it looked to Kate as if Bryan was offended. He frowned for a second and turned to look at her. His face was solemn as he said, ‘You really have been paying a lot of attention to my love life.’ His tone of voice was teasing and clashed with his expression. And so Kate did the only sensible thing she could – she smacked him on the shoulder.
‘Why?’ whined Bryan.
Kate smiled and said nothing as the car slowed. He was driving forty. They must’ve been getting close.
#
When they did finally get to Noah’s house Kate had one reaction: it was massive. Massive with a view of the beach. And it also had a pool. Which, now that Kate thought about it, was an overkill. But even if it was some post-modern architectural eyesore of a house, it had a pool, and the beach, and that made it okay in Kate’s mind.
Bryan’s big car pulled up and parked on the curb and Kate could hear the music from the party. The entire driveway was full, and cars were parked in a long procession down the curb. And if they were in any other suburb Kate might’ve worried about the police and noise complaints. But this was a beach house in Southern California. And no one really lived there – permanently, that is.
It was the sort of place where people who could afford second homes frequented on the off season when school was out.
‘So,’ said Bryan, ‘this is it.’
‘This is it.’ Kate nodded and wiped her palms on the denim fabric of her shorts. She looked over at Bryan and couldn’t help but feel under dressed. Bryan looked… well, just looked more. More of everything. She could tell he’d put effort into his appearance and was cursing him for making this seem like a casual thing. She would’ve at least worn a shirt if she had known. If he had had the common decency to have told her.
Instead, all she could do was stare at Bryan who was trying very hard to pull off the casual bohemian look, the one that seemed to come back into fashion every summer. And she knew he put effort into that look. Kate had seen his closet. She knew it was filled to the brim with khaki and beige shirts his mother had bought him. That shirt had not been there last week. He had never owned anything that might have even resembled tie-dye.
Shit, why hadn’t he told her?
But instead of outright airing her grievances Kate settled on the causal, ‘You’re dressed up.’ That would do it. Cool and casual. That was how she was going to play it.
‘I just grabbed something,’ said Bryan as he gave his appearance a once over in the mirror. He scrunched up his hair and tucked some of it behind his ear.
Liar, thought Kate. She scowled at him like a kid who hadn’t been allowed candy for dinner and said, ‘I know for a fact that you did not own that last week.’ She looked him up and down make sure there would be no misunderstanding just how put out she was, and pointed an accusing finger at his shirt.
Her displeasure didn’t have much of effect on Brain. He seemed wholly unbothered – as if this were par for the course. And seeing she had failed to show him the error of his ways Kate unclasped her seat belt and tried to straighten out her tank top. Which, as anyone who’d ever owned a tank knew, was a hopeless endeavor.
#
Why had she just thrown this on?
Bryan hadn’t been lying about her busy evening, or lack thereof, she really had just been playing video games in her underwear. And she had been killing it, thank you very much. It was her favorite way to send her evenings.
But it was summer.
And in Southern California that meant blistering heat. Bryan had been offering a pool and free transport. So, when you combine those two facts with the lack of air conditioning in her room, and sprinkle on a light smattering of whining, she really hadn’t stood a chance. It was an offer she couldn’t refuse.
Anyone in her shoes would’ve done the same thing.
But as she sat there staring at his stupid face, she could kill him. Was sorely tempted to. Homicide had never looked so tempting. But then she’d have to find a way to get rid of his stupidly big car. And that would be all sorts of trouble. Kate wasn’t exactly fond of anything that would take that much effort.
‘You look fine,’ said Bryan. He added as an afterthought, ‘It’s not like you know anyone here, anyway. You should think on the bright side — there’s free booze.’
God, thought Kate, when had she become so predictable. Oh, right, when she became a broke ass student who couldn’t pass up the offer of anything free – least of all free booze.
Kate hopped out of the car, because she couldn’t just step out like in a normal car. No, Bryan’s car was a good foot off the ground. She still couldn’t believe he’d bought the petrol guzzler. How, she wondered, could he even afford to drive it? The price of fuel alone would’ve been enough to bankrupt her. Not that it would’ve taken much. Kate was borderline broke at the best of times.
The two friends ambled towards the open gate. Excitement practically radiating off one and the other’s nervous slouch and slow gait screaming reluctance.
Kate put her hands in her pocket and braced herself. She just needed a game plan and then all would be well. First things first, she’d get something to drink – beer hopefully – as soon as humanly possible. She’d find a nice corner to just… chill. Then she could drink in peace and listen to the music. She’d bet money, that she didn’t have, that whatever was blaring from the speakers in the house would still be better than the awful stuff Bryan had been playing in his car. Maybe she’d even be able to decompress despite the swarm of people she was sure to find inside.
And maybe later, if the night went as Bryan seemed to hope, and he and Emily were off somewhere snogging, she might even wander over to the beach. It was nicer at night, anyhow. Quieter. Kate loved the feeling of the cold sand on her feet and between her toes. She might even just go in for a dip. Just float around in the ocean for a bit. That would be nice too.
Her fantasy was cut short.
They were no more than two steps inside Noah’s backyard when they someone spotted them. A tiny body, like a pocket rocket, launched itself at Bryan so quick Kate could’ve sworn she was just blur. He buckled slightly under the impact and his knees wobbled,. He hadn’t expected that. Anyone would eyes could tell, and Kate’s were as good as the next’s, despite them being short sighted. Kate could do nothing but stare with confused furrowed brows as she was pulled out of her musings. There was no time for her game plan now that she was actually in the thick of it.
Kate looked over and tried to take her cues from Bryan. He didn’t give much away at first. But then he just sort of smiled awkwardly as if he’d not entirely expected that. Good. She was right. She’d take note of that.
‘You came,’ said the pocket rocket. It was more a squeal than a statement. Kate had never seen anyone so small. Alight, maybe that wasn’t entirely true. But still, when compared to Bryan’s lanky form the contrast was stark. The girl couldn’t have even been five feet.
‘Hi, Maddy.’ Bryan let go of the pocket rocket named Maddy. Also, noted, thought Kate. Bryan didn’t pay her much mind. He paid her about as much mind as Kate di
d her software engineering professor. Instead, he looked around, eyes searching for someone with the single-minded determination of a bloodhound. Kate would bet money on who. She’d just have to find a sucker to swindle. She needed the cash.
Normally Kate would’ve found his single-minded determination admirable. It was one of those traits she could dupe herself into thinking they shared. But normally that particular delusion did not leave her in the awkward position of just standing next to him rather dumbly. She should introduce herself. She knew that much. That’s what normal, well socialized, people do when they meet someone new. She had seen it happen before – a hundred thousand times at least in real life and in movies and in video games and books. But, well, Kate never particularly got the hang of it.
Kate didn’t introduce herself. Instead she elbowed Bryan in the ribs, a gentle nudge, really, to try and bring him back to the present. It seemed to do the trick, and if he glared at her and rubbed at his side more than was warranted, she chose to ignore that. She had barely touched him, really. He was just being a big baby.
And he could only really blame himself. He knew what she was like. He knew what he was signing up for when he decided Kate should be his wing woman tonight. Honestly, Kate had no idea what he was thinking. She should’ve been his last choice. Frankly, she would’ve been her own last choice. She wasn’t exactly what one could call socially apt.
‘Oh. Right. Sorry,’ said Bryan, his voice dazed and sheepish. ‘Maddy this is Kate.’
Maddy waved at her in an oddly endearing sort of way. Kate was so out if her depths that instinct kicked int and she behaved normally, returned the wave with a halfhearted one of her own.
Maddy looked drunk. Or tipsy. Kate wasn’t exactly sure which. She was just sure the other girl’s eyes we glazed over and unfocused in a way Kate had only ever associated with alcohol. And weed. But Maddy didn’t seem the type.
‘Have you seen Emily?’ A sort o hopeful look camped out on Bryan’s face. Kate wouldn’t be surprised if it got suck there for the rest of the evening. The boy had a one-track mind. ‘I haven’t seen her yet. Is she here? Are we early?’
‘It’s past midnight,’ said Kate dryly. Her words were as bland as a piece of plain, buttered, toast that was only slightly burnt at the edges.
Bryan just shrugged.
‘She’s here somewhere.’ Maddy frowned with drunken concentration. It took her longer than it would’ve sober to organize her thoughts and figure out how she wanted to respond. Whenever Kate was drunk and trying to figure something out it always felt as if she were trying to finish one of those thousand-piece puzzles but had lost all the edge pieces. ‘I think she’s with the girls. Upstairs. It took her like the entire afternoon to get ready so…’
Maddy shrugged. And Kate knew what was going to happen next. It was like clockwork. Three. Two. One—
‘Cool,’ said Bryan. ‘Maddy, why don’t you show Kate where the drinks are? I’ll be back in a second.’ Bryan’s eyes were locked on the back door in a thousand-yard stare. Not even the throng of people in the pool could distract him. And some of them were truly, truly, distracting. Summer bodies indeed, thought Kate.
‘Sure,’ said Maddy pouting. ‘This way.’
Kate trailed after her. Maddy was in the shortest skirt she’d ever seen. And it looked good. Damn. Kate really needed a drink.
Maddy went through the door Bryan had disappeared through just a second ago and led Kate into the kitchen. It was big and spacious, and filled entirely with too many people. It was bigger than any Kate had ever seen. Which, now that she thought about it, was a bit of a theme. The house was just plain big. It would’ve felt bigger if it wasn’t filled to the brim with bodies but Kate couldn’t fathom how. She was pretty sure, actually, no, she was certain, the kitchen alone was the size of your average apartment.
A particularly large group of said bodies seemed very content to just loiter around near kitchen counter near the booze. There was a variety too, which, for a college party, was fairly impressive. Usually, in Kate’s limited experience, these things generally only had cheap five-dollar wine and beer – she wasn’t used to seeing top shelf vodka, and gin and tequila. There was a keg though, and who would’ve thought that would’ve been a comforting sight?
This really was how the other side did things. I should go out more often, thought Kate, if this is what I’m missing out on. Maybe she’d even expand her social circle. Maybe. But even as she thought about it the idea was losing its appeal.
‘So,’ began Maddy, ‘you’re friends with Bryan?’
‘Yeah,’ said Kate trying best to figure what it was she was going to drink first. Beer. It was always beer. Would always be beer. And least she wouldn’t get kidney stones. That was nice a bonus. She snorted. She was her own favorite comedian. ‘I’ve known him forever.’
‘He’s never mentioned you before.’ Maddy was drinking something pink. A cruiser. Something, no doubt, ridiculously sweet. The sort of sweet that made your teeth feel fuzzy from all the sugar.
Kate shrugged. That was fair enough. She didn’t talk about him much either. ‘There’s not much to say.’
Maddy peered up at Kate critically thought spindly spider leg eyelashes. ‘Well, that’s just not right. He’s been keeping you all to himself. We always thought he and Emily would….’ She took a sip of her drink. Kate had the intense feeling she was being evaluated – and, strangely, that she had fallen short. Which really made no sense because was fucking great. At least in her own mind, everyone else was just wrong. It was the same feeling she got whenever her grandmother asked her if she was still single and commented about her short hair, tattoos and liberal, very much habitual, cursing.
‘We never knew there was someone else.’
There were so many things wrong with that statement Kate didn’t know where to begin. I must look lost, thought Kate. Her eyes must’ve been the size of saucers. And not the small saucers either, large dinner plate saucers. The sort your mum only used for special occasions, like when she burnt the Christmas roast. That sort of special.
‘We’re not a thing.’ Kate did the verbal equivalent of a sprint to get her words out. She was pretty sure she tripped over near the start of it like someone who got scared by the starter’s gun going off, and then falling face first into the track. She did not miss cross country. It was hell. And anyone who liked it was insane. Clinically.
God, where was that drink?
Kate didn’t wait for Maddy to respond. She could hear her say something, but what it was she wasn’t entirely sure. If this was going to be her night, then she needed alcohol. Just enough to take the edge off. Just enough to not make her want to run away and hide. Just enough to make her more pleasant and sociable.
Kate pushed her way through the crowd of people that seemed to claim the area in immediate proximity to the alcohol as their territory. They smelled of hormones and sweat and poorly concealed teenage angst. You didn’t outgrow that sort of angst just because you graduated from your teens to your twenties. It lingered like the smell of old socks.
Kate popped open a can of beer and took a gulp posthaste. It was bitter and cool and bubbly. Exactly what the doctor ordered. If the doctor was pro self-medicating your self-diagnosed social anxiety, that is.
She walked back to Maddy with what she thought was very well-hidden reluctance. She didn’t like how the other girl was looking at her. Maddy looked at her like she was something to dissect. Like one of those mice, or frogs, you had to dissect in high school biology.
Kate took another nervous sip of her drink.
‘Well,’ said Maddy, ‘the girls are upstairs. I’m sure they’d all love to meet Bryan’s mysterious friend.’
Kate didn’t feel like she had much of a choice. So much for her game plan. Damn. She had really been looking forward to that corner. But at least she had a drink – one out of two wasn’t terrible.
‘Sure,’ mumbled Kate. She trailed after Maddy again. This time they went up the stairs,
muscled their way through another gaggle of people, and took a left into a bedroom. There were girls there. But there weren’t many—five at most. Not that Kate was counting. That would be odd. And she wasn’t odd at all – it just helped. It calmed her somewhat. Gave her mind something to occupy itself with that didn’t end in her in spiraling down a rabbit hole of self-doubt and worst case scenarios that all inevitably ended up with her in either jail or dead.
Kate lingered by the door as Maddy went ahead and plopped down on bed dramatically. Dramatic was the only word for it. Her entire being seemed to be seemed to be composed of it. If she wasn’t a performing art major, thought Kate, then her talent was being wasted. How she didn’t spill her drink was beyond Kate who was just going to chalk it up to a combination of innate talent and practice. Or magic. She hadn’t ruled that out entirely yet.
‘This is Kate.’ Her voice was a whine. It was definitely a whine. That Kate was sure of. And it grated on her nerves somewhat. It reminded her of nails dragging on a chalk board. Maybe that was why she hated the whole baby voice thing. ‘She’s Bryan’s friend.’
Kate took back , then and there, whatever nice things she’d thought about Maddy. Which, truthfully, had only been that she had nice legs. And lots of people had nice legs. That wasn’t exactly a particularly noteworthy accomplishment. But still the other girl now rubbed her the wrong way. Her tone did not go over Kate’s head. And they really were friends. Why couldn’t people believe them? Kate was over it. She had had enough. You could only have the same sort of conversation with so many people before you gave up trying to convince anyone at all.
Kate did that sort of half-wave half-salute thing she did when she was nervous. She jerked her hand back and stuffed it in her pocket the moment she realized what she was doing. She couldn’t even contain her inner dork for five minutes.
‘Hey,’ said Kate, her voice horse. She was going to be normal. She could do it – she had more than enough brain cells to rub together to try and pull that off. Or, well, she hoped she did.
More Than Friends Page 2