by Emily Childs
Jonas lifts a brow. “Fair enough,” he says. “But I feel like I know you well enough to say that you deserve to live a life you want too.”
I open my mouth to retort—maybe apologize for my pout—but I stop when Jane’s voice echoes across the café.
“Brita!” Jane hurries over, bumping a young couple so water splashes all over the girl’s sweater. “Oh, sorry. Tight quarters,” she says, her cheeks flush as she grips the back of my chair. “Brita, I’ve got to—” Her bright eyes find Jonas and she smiles. The attention sends him back into shy mode as he picks at his sandwich. “Brit, I half expected to see you at home by now, reading in pajamas.”
“Oh, I will be in about twenty minutes.” I smirk, and Jonas laughs softly.
“What about you, Joe?” she asks. “What are your evening plans?”
“I have a night class,” he says.
“Too bad. I have a free night and Brita won’t give in to a social life except on the weekends.”
“Hey, I’ve done well with my study hard, play harder system. And my weekends are pretty stress free,” I say. “You could learn a few things, Janey.”
Jane laughs. She has such a beautiful smile at least two guys on the neighboring table take notice. I check Jonas to see if he is gawking too, but swallow a hiccup when our eyes meet across the table instead.
Jane pinches my shoulder. “If I haven’t learned it by now, I’d say it’s pretty hopeless. Jonas, I’m glad you’re here,” she says, leaning over his side of the table. “I’ve been thinking, since Brita is all into your brother, the most rational thinking would be for you and me to go out—at least a few times. What do you say to, I don’t know, how is your Saturday night?”
Jonas’s mouth parts and my smile is gone. I don’t think anyone notices the shift in Jacobson cheeriness though.
“Uh, Saturday? Well…”
Jane scoffs, charming as ever and places her hand over the top of Jonas’s. His skin looks like ripe strawberries. “Does it make you uncomfortable having the woman ask you out?”
“No,” he says.
“It’s okay.” She winks. “You’ll get used to me taking the reins.”
“Jane,” I mutter, nudging her in the ribs.
“What?” she asks “So, Joe, what do you say? There are a few friends getting together for some awful Chinese and a movie on Saturday. I would really love your blue eyes to be my plus one. I promise, I’ll let you pay.”
In my short history with Jonas, I’ve learned his nervous habits. I watch as he runs through them now. First, he rubs his palms over his thighs. Check. Next comes the popping of the thumb knuckles. Check and…check. He swallows, and I admit to a touch of gladness that he shows a bit of reservation. I don’t like that I have the gladness because there really is no cooler girl than Jane.
Jonas scrolls through his phone calendar. “Well, I have a test that morning,” he says. “But sure, that would be good.”
“Awesome! Brita you’re in right?”
I look across the table using a split second to study Jonas’s face. He leans back in his seat and seems more comfortable with the idea.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I don’t know how Axel would feel about it.”
I sip my cocoa, intentionally avoiding Jonas’s glance. We don’t really talk a lot about the fact that I’m smitten with his twin.
“Come on, I’m bringing a date, but most everyone else is just going to hang out. He can’t be that controlling, can he?”
“He’s terribly possessive,” Jonas says.
I kick his shin. “For your information, he specifically told me to go crazy this semester.”
“Oh, I like that,” Jane says.
“Fine, I’ll go,” I say. “Someone will have to keep an eye on you two.”
“Hopefully.” Jane’s sultry voice sends a new paint of rouge over Jonas’s cheeks. Jane is one of my favorite people, why wouldn’t Jonas enjoy her company? The better question: why do I think I even have a say? “Pick me up around seven?” Jane tickles the back of his neck, and I know she’s teasing. Jane has always been confident and loves to do this to guys.
“Okay. I’ll be there,” he says. His smile—the Jonas smile—sets in place. Jane earns it.
When I finally plop onto my bed after leaving Jonas, I have a strange weight on my chest like thread tugs at the sinews. I shower to relieve the tension, tie my hair high on my head, and slip on my Wile E. Coyote pajama pants. Then my phone rings.
Axel’s face appears on my screen. “Hey,” he says, looking perfect.
“Hi,” I sink deep into my pillows. Seeing him makes it much easier to imagine Axel right next to me—like our nights in his car. I imagine the scent of his skin, clean like rain. “How are you?”
“Better now.” Uh, swoon. “Sorry I missed your message last night. Rough first day?” Axel stands outside, it looks frigid, but he doesn’t drop his smile.
“First days always are, but it’s no big deal now.” I don’t need to rehash my mother’s conversation to Axel. “Today was great. I saw Jonas this afternoon.”
“Is that why it’s great?” His voice is playful. Strange though, to flirt about me and his brother.
I laugh nervously. “He’s fun, I guess. He’s in an English class and I’m the T.A.?”
“I told him not to put those freshman classes off. Promise me you’ll tell me how awful he is, okay. Our parents think he’s a genius, so you’ll really be preventing some major sibling rivalry.” Axel laughs, someone outside the screen taps his shoulder. I hear girly giggling, some deep voices, but see no one, and I feel self-conscious talking around his friends.
“Well, I might disappoint you,” I say. “I’ve read some of Jonas’s writing before—he’s pretty good.”
“No, you don’t mean that.” A guy with long hair sits next to him, but talks off screen. Axel brings the phone closer when the laughter picks up. “Just build my ego a bit, okay? Lie and tell me he’s the worst and he’s probably going to fail.”
“Fine.” I chuckle. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something. So, my roommate, she asked Jonas out today and—”
“Really?” Axel asks. “Is she hot?”
“Yeah, is she hot?” asks the long-haired guy.
I click my tongue. “Not that looks are the most important, but yes. Jane is very attractive. They’re going out Saturday, and they asked me to join the group. What do you think? Would you mind? It’s not like it’s really a date or anything, more like hanging out, I just—”
“Brita.” Axel stops my rambling abruptly. “You don’t need to ask me. I would expect that you are going out. It’s half of the experience, right?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I’m starting to spend more time analyzing everything about Axel’s tone than the conversation. Should it be so easy for him to know I’m going out with other people—other men? And what does he mean that he expects I’d be going out? I remind myself that right now he is on the phone with me; I’m the one he wants to talk with tonight. I remind myself to chill.
“So, listen,” he says, sitting down on a bench wherever it is they are. “I was calling to ask what you’re doing next weekend. I’ve got a buddy of mine who applied for a clinical in St. Paul. The clinic wants to interview him, so a bunch of us are coming to crash at Jonas’s place. I thought we could get together.”
My heart leaps to my throat in excitement. Axel, coming here! Then it sinks. “Oh, no. Next weekend I’m going to New York with my mom.”
“That’s next week? I forgot. Hey, that means…is your birthday next weekend?”
“No.” I don’t want anyone making any bit of fuss over my birthday. “It’s the second week of February, but the tickets were only available for next weekend.”
“Okay, good. I’d hate to be there on your birthday without you.”
The same long-haired guy dives into the screen. “Taking so long,” he mutters, but he’s grinning.
Biting my lip, I fight the urge to tell Axel I’ll miss no
t seeing him. Not in front of his friends. “I can’t believe the one weekend I’ll be gone you’re coming.”
“I know, that’s kind of lame,” he agrees. “You’ll have more fun with your mom. You like that kind of stuff, right?”
“No, I love that kind of stuff.”
There is another voice in the background. I really can’t tell if they are a man or a woman, but they draw Axel’s attention for a few moments. “Hey, my study group is meeting, I’ve got to get going.” Axel flips the screen so I can see the entire group.
“Okay, well maybe we’ll talk tomorrow?” I say when Axel turns the screen back to him.
“Yeah, sure,” he says. “Still bummed you won’t be there next weekend.”
“Me too,” I say softly. I want to say more; try and plan another time we can see each other. I want to ask him so many things.
“Well, talk to you later,” he says. “Sleep tight.”
The phone call ends abruptly, and I feel a little embarrassed being home—alone—while Axel lives it up with friends at school. Jane has a valid point about my social life; it lives on the weekends. It’s not that I don’t have a life. Obviously, I’m not as outgoing as Axel, but opposites attract right? Truth told, Saturday looks more appealing by the minute. This semester will be the last, after all. I stare my ceiling fan for a long time. Axel is a dream to me. Handsome, sweet; his kisses knock me to the floor. Yet, as I replay our conversation there is a stab of unease in my stomach. I can’t puzzle out why either.
My door groans as Jane pushes into my room. “Hi,” she says. “I wondered if you’d be asleep.”
“Hey,” I say and lift my head off three pillows.
She leans against the door frame, a funny grin on her face. “I surprised you earlier today, didn’t I? I should’ve talked to you first about asking Jonas out.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Why would you need to ask me?”
Jane shrugs and sits on the edge of my bed. She starts to braid the fur on a long pillow. “I don’t know. You know Jonas, I don’t. It just seems like something I should’ve checked with you first.”
“Janey, you’re free to ask out Jonas as many times as you want,” I say, my face disappears into the pillow abyss when I flop back.
“Good.” Her voice is a little brighter. “He’s probably one of the hottest guys I’ve made a move on, and he’s nice according to you. Here’s the plan—you marry the brother, and I’ll get Jonas begging me to be his. We’ll be sisters forever.”
I laugh and lock elbows with her when she joins me in the pit of fluff.
“He is a good guy, right?” she asks after a long pause.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Why is this hard to talk about? It isn’t because…no, it isn’t because of that. Nodding, I meet Jane’s eye. “Yes. Jonas is one of the good ones. He’s the best.”
Chapter 14
Wednesday ends and I send praises to the sky. Thursday packs in two tests—who schedules tests during the first days of school? By the time I find myself curled in front of the TV on Friday with Jane and Emma and Natalie from next door, I can’t wait for a needed Saturday break.
“So, Brody, Matt, and Brody’s cousin—I think his name is Tyson, he’s a freshman—are all coming tomorrow,” Emma says, licking melted chocolate off her thumb. “I’m declaring now, everyone keep their paws off Brody.”
“Are you still after him—correction, are you still secretly pining after him although he has no clue?” Jane snickers. Natalie nods dramatically, earning her a swift shove from her roommate.
“Look, I came back this semester with the full intention of telling him the truth. If it goes bad, so what right? I have four months of shame before we all part ways. He’ll probably go home to New Mexico unless he finds a good job. But if it goes well…”
“You might run off into the sunset with your true love,” I say, chomping into an almond bar.
“My thoughts exactly.”
“Okay, noted. I will not make a random move on Brody after four years,” Jane says.
“Good. As long as we’re clear,” Emma chirps, smiling. “What about this guy you’re bringing Janey?”
“He’s Brita’s neighbor—the neighbor.”
Emma and Natalie glance at me at the same time.
“The neighbor? The oil to your water? The thorn to your rose?” Natalie gasps.
“Oh, my, stop,” Emma says. “You sound like you’re in one of your plays.”
“Hey, coming up with prose on a whim takes talent, and I might add, that talent earned me a summer study in London.” Natalie straightens her shoulders with an extra pompous expression.
“Yes, we all know.” Jane pops several gummies into her mouth. “But it means nothing if you don’t invite all of us over there.”
“You need to earn it,” Natalie says. “But forget London for a sec. Brita, tell us about the neighbor.”
Okay, so I might have complained about the feud to more than just Jane. But again, it makes for interesting conversation.
“Oh, me taking him out isn’t the best part,” Jane answers instead. I give her a stop-talking look, but she promptly ignores me. “Brita’s having a secret love affair with the twin brother.”
Emma and Natalie both stop moving chocolate to their mouths.
“What?” Natalie gasps—again. “Forget tomorrow, tell us everything.”
“Oh, poor Tyson,” Emma says. “He was so looking forward going out with an older woman.”
I laugh, knowing full well even if Axel wasn’t in the picture, Freshman Tyson would have to find his older love somewhere else. We talk about Axel, the feud, a bit of Jonas, and the daring confession Emma plans to make to Brody, until midnight. Finally, Jane being the responsible one—believe it or not—admits she must wake up and make a study group. I trundle off to bed, hung over on chocolate and of course gummy bears.
I have been fortunate to forge lasting friendships at school, we enjoy doing things together. I’m excited for overcooked Chinese and a stupid action movie. Not for Jonas reasons, of course not. I’m really looking forward to watching Emma declare her love for quiet, athletic, computer genius, Brody. And it will be fun to hang out with Jonas outside of law firms and a campus café. So maybe excitement is partly for Jonas reasons.
***
Hazy clouds soak the sky when Jonas pulls up to our apartment. A storm is building, but at least the air feels a little warmer. Jane looks stunning as usual. She pulls off billowy blouses and skinny jeans better than anyone I know. She’s styled her hair a little wilder than usual, but I am quick to encourage her to keep the look. I, on the other hand, must settle for a ponytail. Someday I will give up trying to make my curls look like the magazines. Since my hair boasts the casual look, and I’m not really on a date, I sport school pride in a form fitting University of Minnesota sweatshirt. Much to Jane’s disapproval.
Emma and Natalie chat with Brody and Matt—Freshman Tyson opted for video games with his roommates instead of coming and part of me wants to back out. Being the seventh wheel is equivalent to swallowing nails, but when Jonas comes inside I decide I need to get out and socialize.
I simply enjoy Jonas’s company. And I’ve been saying those exact words in my head all day, so now I’m practiced enough that I can almost block any weird thoughts about his strong face, or the way the blue T-shirt makes his eyes look like sapphires.
“Hi!” Jane says pleasantly. She pecks him on the cheek, and Jonas takes it with grace. “Here, come meet everyone.”
I meet his eye as Jane drags him by the wrist into the center of the room, introducing him to Brody and Matt who are both part of Jane’s computer science family.
Natalie inches to my side, she sweeps her gaze across Jonas’s back. “Until Jane locks him down he’s free game, right?”
I roll my eyes. “The way you guys talk sometimes it’s like you’re hunting.”
“I am, I thought you knew?” Natalie says. Her brown skin is flawless, and her dimples
add a sweet charm to her face. Jonas will be an idiot if he doesn’t notice her if he and Jane don’t hit it off.
Matt and Brody accept Jonas into their conversation. Jonas fits in easily, despite his tendency to shift to the shy side. Brody towers over everyone, and Emma’s five-foot-even frame hardly hits his bicep. He looks more like a hard-core athlete than a computer enthusiast. Matt fits the part of the geek. His sandy hair is always combed to the side and his shirt is buttoned to the last button just beneath his Adam’s apple. He is handsome enough, but only wants to talk about the latest technology; he never would’ve listened to me rant about Shakespeare.
“Well, should we go? The movie starts at eight,” Jane says.
Slowly, we caravan through the snow to the cars. Emma and Brody shove into the backseat of Jonas’s car, leaving me to either squish next to them, or ride with Matt and Natalie. Natalie doesn’t really give me the option. In fact, she offers me the front seat of Matt’s small Honda.
They are fun though. Natalie spends most of the drive reciting lines from her upcoming performance, I think she does it to irritate Matt. By the time we reach the theater they are neck-deep in a hilarious battle on whether liberal arts or computer sciences serve the greatest contribution to society.
Brody and Emma are already in line for snacks. Natalie flashes Matt the sweetest smile and he quickly rushes away to fulfill her popcorn needs.
“Brita.” Jane waves a pair of tickets in front of her face. Jonas is next to her, hands in his pockets, and I think he relaxes a bit when I stand next to them. “You guys go on in, I’ll wait for everyone else to give them their tickets.”
“I can wait out here,” Jonas offers.
“No,” Jane says, drawing her face a little closer to his. Oh, there it is—a thumb knuckle cracks. “Go on in,” Jane insists. “I won’t be long. Be sure to save me a seat though.”
“Come on, I love the previews.” Natalie tugs on my elbow. Jonas follows close and his shoulder brushes mine when we scan the theater for our seats.