by Maureen Lee
‘And a Merry Christmas to you.’ She swallowed. ‘Thanks for asking.’ She made to close the door as a signal the conversation was over, expecting him to tip his cap again and go away. But, of course, she’d forgotten, he couldn’t see!
‘Are you all right, luv?’ He actually looked worried.
Helen tried to laugh. ‘Why shouldn’t I be?’
He made a funny little movement with his mouth. ‘Well, the walls of these houses are terrible thin.’
He’d heard her crying! She felt as if she could die on the spot with shame. ‘I had a bit of upsetting news. I’m all right now.’
‘Mind you, it’s a wonder I could hear. I’ve shed a tear or two meself the last few days. There’s nowt wrong with a good cry when you need it. I had to have Spot, me best friend, put down. He had cancer of the stomach, according to the vet.’
She felt a sudden pang of compassion. A blind man losing his dog was a terrible thing. ‘I’m awful sorry. I bet you miss him.’
‘More than words can say,’ he replied sadly.
She swallowed again. ‘Look, would you like to come in for a drink? I’ve got some wine.’
‘Wine! I wouldn’t say no. Sounds more inviting, like, than a pint of brown ale.’
He began to tap the snow with his stick, feeling for the doorstep.
‘Here,’ she said, ‘Let me give you a hand.’ She reached out and helped him into the hall. Once inside, he removed his cap and tucked it into the pocket of his jacket. He towered above her. She’d never noticed before, but he was a fine-looking man, though rather gaunt, his face weathered ruddy by being outdoors so much, and with neatly cut fair hair. You would never have guessed he was blind, except his pale blue eyes never met yours, but were fixed on your mouth or chin, on where the voice came from.
‘What d’you fancy?’ she asked. ‘Red or white?’
‘Whew! Thank God that’s over!’
Eileen flung herself into a chair. The table had been cleared and set again for tea, the dishes washed and dried and all the debris off Christmas crackers and presents tied in a neat parcel, as they’d been urged by the Government to save paper. Mary and Ryan were having their afternoon nap upstairs on Eileen’s bed, whilst Caitlin and Siobhan argued over a hair slide out of a cracker. Tony and the older boys, fed up with being tripped over and moved from place to place, had gone over to the Reillys’ house to play with their new toys in peace.
‘I wonder what happened to Paddy?’ Sheila mused.
‘Well, Dad said he weren’t in the King’s Arms when he left, and I sent Tony along to the house, and he weren’t there, either,’ Eileen said worriedly. ‘I hope he’s all right. What d’you think, Dad?’
Jack Doyle had fallen asleep in front of the fire. The sisters smiled at each other.
‘Oh, well,’ Eileen shrugged. ‘There’s nowt we can do about it, is there? D’you fancy a glass of sherry, Sheil? If you do, you’ll have to get it yourself. I’m fair worn out. I’ve been on the go since half past seven this morning.’
‘D’you want one?’
‘Please!’ As she took the drink, Eileen said, ‘I wonder what we’ll be doing next Christmas? They say rationing’s likely to come in any minute. That’s why everyone went mad and spent like there was no tomorrow if they had the cash to do it. Maybe we won’t be able to buy chickens and puddings and presents next year. On the other hand, maybe the war’ll be over …’
‘I can’t think that far ahead,’ Sheila confessed. ‘All I can think of is our Cal and when he’s likely to be home.’
Winston Churchill had ordered the Navy to ‘scrub and search’ the South Atlantic for the Altmark. It was suspected that the ship was sailing under different names and different flags.
The two little girls were having a tug of war with the hair slide. It snapped in two and Siobhan fell back against her grandad.
Jack Doyle woke up. ‘Has our gracious majesty been on yet?’ he demanded. When told no, he groaned. ‘I’d been hoping to sleep right through it.’
‘Dad! You’ve got a gob on you like a bee’s bum. You must be the most unpatriotic man who ever lived,’ his eldest daughter said.
‘You can be a republican and a patriot,’ he answered tartly. ‘Where’s our Sean?’
‘Gone. He’s having tea at his girlfriend’s.’
‘The flighty bugger! There can’t be a girl in Bootle he hasn’t been out with. Still, it won’t do him no harm to sow his wild oats early.’
‘Let’s hope the girls’ dads agree,’ said Eileen. She got to her feet. ‘I’m just popping along to Annie’s for a minute to look at her feller.’
‘Annie’s got a feller?’ Sheila looked surprised.
‘Well, she’s considering it.’
When Eileen went outside, Dilys and Myfanwy Evans were standing on their doorstep looking scared.
‘What’s the matter?’ she shouted.
‘It’s our Dad. He hasn’t been home for his dinner.’
Suddenly, Ellis and Dai Evans came crashing out of the King’s Arms, locked in combat, followed by Mack and several customers trying to separate them.
‘I’ll kill you, man. May the good lord forgive me, but I’ll kill you,’ screamed Ellis.
The pair fell into the snow and began to wrestle as Eileen knocked on Annie’s door.
Annie answered, all decked out in a silver filigree necklace and earrings, with a blue and red striped scarf draped around her neck.
‘Just look, Eil! The boys brought me these from France. Feel the scarf? It’s pure silk!’
‘You lucky devil!’ Eileen said, impressed. ‘See what’s going on out here! Ellis and Dai are having a grand ould fight.’
The Evanses had begun to drag each other home. Eileen and Annie watched until they went inside and slammed the door.
‘They’ll make it up in bed tonight. Ellis and Dai have what’s called a stormy relationship.’ Annie winked. ‘Come and say hallo to Barney. The lads have gone to see some of their old mates, and Rosie and Charlie went home a while ago.’
Barney wasn’t at all what Eileen had expected. She’d anticipated someone looking like Franchot Tone or Cary Grant. Instead, he was a little teddy bear of a man with a thatch of slightly receding brown hair and humorous tobacco-coloured eyes.
‘Pleased to meet any friend of Annie’s,’ he said, when they were introduced.
‘I’ll get you a drop of sherry, Eil.’ Annie left for the kitchen.
As soon as she’d gone, Barney clutched Eileen’s arm. ‘Does she talk about me much? D’you think she likes me?’
‘I’ve no idea,’ Eileen replied. When his face fell, she went on, determined to support Annie in her campaign of playing hard to get. ‘In fact, your name only came up for the first time this morning.’
‘Oh, no!’ He looked distraught. ‘I’ve never liked a woman before as much as I like Annie. I could tell, the minute I saw her standing there with that riveting gun, that she was the only one for me.’
‘Really!’ Eileen tried hard not to sound sarcastic. She was worried her best friend might fall for some worthless man who’d end up making her unhappy. She wasn’t sure if she liked Barney Clegg or not.
‘Really!’ Barney said with all the sincerity he could muster.
Eileen could hear Annie on her way in with the sherry. She said quickly, ‘Just make sure y’don’t hurt her.’
She didn’t stay long. ‘I’m expecting a few folk round any minute to listen to the wireless.’
Mr Singerman was already making his way across the road when Eileen left Annie’s, followed, much to her amazement, by the Flemings. Mrs Fleming looked like a film star, in a royal blue dress and a black fluffy mohair coat. Eileen would have given her eye teeth for a pair of those ankle-length, high-heeled boots.
Mr Singerman raised his bushy grey eyebrows. ‘You don’t mind, do you, Eileen? I told them they’d be welcome.’
‘Of course I don’t,’ she said.
‘We’ve got a wireless,’ Mrs Fleming
put in quickly. ‘It’s all in one with the gramophone, but without electricity …’ She drew Eileen to one side. ‘I’m sorry I was so rude the day we moved in. I was upset, but that’s no excuse. I’ve brought a peace offering.’ She handed Eileen a tiny drawstring paper bag.
Eileen opened the bag and drew out a bottle of Chanel scent. She gasped. ‘Oh, my goodness! This must have cost the earth. Thank you, Mrs Fleming, but there was no need.’
‘It’s not new. I mean,’ the woman said hastily, ‘I’ve had it some time, but it’s never been opened. And call me Jess, please.’
‘Thank you, Jess,’ Eileen said, feeling touched.
They went inside, where the wireless was already on and a boy’s choir was singing The Holly and the Ivy. Brenda Mahon and Aggie Donovan were there, and Tony and the boys had returned with two headless soldiers, tired of fighting and anxious for something to eat.
Eileen drew her son onto her lap. ‘In a minute,’ she whispered. ‘As soon as the King’s finished.’
It was strange, almost uncanny, to think that millions of people all over the country were doing the exact same thing at the same time, sitting round the wireless to hear their King. She wondered if Nick were listening, and tried to visualise him sitting in his friends’ house.
The National Anthem sounded particularly stirring. For the first time, Eileen felt a sense of real pride in her country. She forgot her previous impatience with Chamberlain and his government. It was a brave thing that had been done, taking on Hitler and the might of the German Army, declaring war on Fascism and all it represented. She glanced at Mr Singerman. His head was bent and he had one hand over his eyes and she knew he was thinking of Ruth.
The King was speaking. She could tell from the tone of his gentle, stammering voice that he knew how his people felt. He shared their concerns and sympathised. He finished his speech with a poem. ‘I said to the man who stood at the Gate of the Year, “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.” And he replied, “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way”.’
Chapter 9
To her relief, Eileen was on the morning shift the week after Christmas, which meant she was home by early afternoon and could spend the rest of the day with Tony, who was on holiday from school.
On the first day back, the younger women were full of the wonderful time they’d had at their Christmas dances.
‘I went home with a different feller every night,’ Doris boasted. ‘One of ’em even wanted to marry me.’
‘Did’ya say “yes”?’ Carmel shouted across the workshop.
‘Not bloody likely! While the war’s on, I’m having far too good a time to stick to one feller. I’ll think about getting hitched once it’s over.’
Later on, Doris announced she was going straight into town from work to buy a frock for New Year’s Eve in the sales. ‘It’s gotta have sequins on. I’m dying for a frock with sequins.’
‘Where are you off to New Year’s Eve?’ Lil asked.
‘St George’s Hall. It’s not just a dance, it’s a ball. The tickets cost five bob each.’
‘I’m going, too,’ said Theresa. ‘Me mam made a dress for me Christmas present.’
‘Catch me paying five bleeding bob for a dance, even if it is a ball,’ someone remarked.
‘What are you doing on New Year’s Eve, Eileen?’ Pauline asked.
‘Nothing special. I suppose I’ll just go over to me sister’s.’
‘Why don’t you come with us?’
‘Oh, I’d want to see the New Year in with me family, particularly our Tony.’
‘Well, y’can always leave early,’ Doris put in. ‘Though you’d miss the best part. It’s lovely when everybody joins hands and sings Auld Lang Syne together.’
‘I haven’t got a dance frock,’ said Eileen, though the idea appealed to her. Sheila wouldn’t mind, and Dad would be over, anyroad, as soon as the King’s Arms closed. ‘I’ll think about it,’ she promised.
‘Is there any news yet about that ship your brother-in-law’s on?’ Pauline asked.
‘No. It seems to have disappeared off the high seas altogether.’
‘Don’t worry. The Navy’ll find it soon enough.’
‘Well if they don’t, our Sheila’s likely to hire a rowboat and go looking for it herself!’ said Eileen.
After a hurried meal she went outside, more anxious than she liked to admit, to meet Nick again. She hadn’t seen him for ten whole days.
She felt her whole body tingle as he came sliding along the frozen stream towards her, a tweed cap on his head and a red scarf wrapped twice around his neck, the ends floating out behind. ‘You look like a Christmas card,’ she exclaimed.
Nick drew to a halt and looked up at her unsmilingly. ‘I’ve missed you badly,’ he said. The message in his brown eyes made her heart turn over.
‘Oh!’ ‘And I’ve missed you too,’ she wanted to say. ‘In fact, I hardly stopped thinking about you over Christmas.’ But she could never say such things to him! Worried he might read an answering message in her own eyes, she glanced around at the white fields. ‘I can’t imagine it ever being green again.’
He gave a quirky little smile, as if he could read her mind. ‘It will be. As sure as night follows day, it will be.’
‘Did you have a nice Christmas?’ Eileen asked conversationally, glad the disturbing moment was over.
‘Somewhat lonesome, but okay,’ he replied lightly.
‘I thought you were going to stay with friends in London?’
‘I changed my mind in view of the arctic weather.’
Eileen was immediately concerned. ‘Y’don’t mean you spent it all by yourself? I didn’t realise.’
‘And would you have done anything about it if you had realised?’ He held out his hand and she helped him struggle up the snowy bank beside her. ‘I mean, would I have been invited to Christmas dinner at Pearl Street if you’d known I was eating sausage and mash all on my own?’
‘Sausage and mash! Oh, Nick!’
‘So? Would I? Have been invited, that is?’
They began to stroll along the bank together. At their approach, several birds came fluttering out of the white bushes, disturbing the snow, which fell with a dull plopping sound.
‘They’re starving, poor little things,’ Eileen said. ‘I’ll bring some breadcrumbs tomorrow.’
‘I take it you’ve no intention of answering my question.’ He took her arm and linked it in his.
‘How could I have invited you?’ she demanded. ‘I’m not footloose and fancy free like you. I’ve got a family to consider. You’re like a little child, the way you expect things to happen without any regard for the consequences. How d’you know me husband wasn’t there over Christmas, anyroad?’
‘Because last time we met, you said it was unlikely. Was he?’
‘No,’ she muttered.
He stopped and turned her towards him, holding her firmly by the arms. ‘You don’t love him, do you?’
She dropped her eyes. ‘What makes you say that?’
‘Because you wouldn’t be here if you did,’ he said reasonably. ‘If I’d sent you an entire flower shop, you wouldn’t have come if you loved him. Some women would, but not you, Eileen. You’re not a flirt. You came because you like me, perhaps as much as I like you. I might even love you, I’m not sure.’
Eileen wriggled out of his grasp. ‘Don’t say those sort of things!’
‘Why not, when they’re true? Admit it, Eileen, you don’t love your husband.’
‘So what if I don’t,’ she cried. ‘What difference does it make?’
‘For Chrissakes, woman,’ he exploded. ‘There’s a war on. By this time next year we might both be dead. You can’t deny there’s something between us, can you?’
She took a deep breath. ‘No.’
‘Then come out with me,’ he demanded. ‘Let me take you to dinner one night?’
>
Eileen shook her head vigorously. ‘I can’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because …’ she paused.
‘Because what?’
‘Because …’ She paused again, and struggled for the words. ‘It’s just not done. I’d have to lie to people.’
‘You never know, it might be worth it,’ he said with a sardonic laugh.
‘I could never lie to me family,’ she said adamantly.
‘Oh, well. I suppose that’s that, then. It’s a waste of time us seeing each other again.’ He stuffed his hands in his pockets and began to walk swiftly ahead. Eileen ran to catch up.
‘Nick! You’re not being fair.’
To her utter relief, he turned on her, smiling. ‘No, I’m not, am I? I’m being unreasonable. It’s just that I missed you so much. Am I forgiven?’
She would have forgiven him anything. ‘Of course you are.’
Later on, he confessed he hadn’t had sausage and mash for Christmas dinner, but had gone to the hostel and enjoyed a magnificent spread with half a dozen workmates who’d remained behind. He hadn’t listened to the King’s speech, either. ‘We were as drunk as lords by then.’
‘You bloody liar,’ she said indignantly. ‘And here was me, feeling sorry for you.’
‘That’s why I said it. I love it when that concerned look comes into your eyes and you worry over me.’
Tony Costello was glad he was an only child. He’d hate to share his mam with five brothers and sisters like his cousin, Dominic. He also liked peace and quiet from time to time, something you never got at the Reillys’. After spending the whole morning in his auntie’s house, the noise began to get on his nerves. As soon as he’d eaten his dinner, he told his Auntie Sheila he was going home. Mam would be back from work soon, and in the meantime, he felt like doing a picture with the paints he’d got off his grandad for Christmas.
‘Have you got a key, luv?’ Auntie Sheila asked.
‘It’s in me pocket.’ For some reason, grandad had changed the locks and there was no longer a key hanging from the letterbox inside the door.
Once home, he filled an egg cup with water and set the paintbox on the table, along with his big drawing pad. He’d already done five paintings since Christmas. He pursed his mouth, adjusted his wire-rimmed glasses, and glanced around the room, wondering what to paint this time. He decided on the vase of paper flowers on the sideboard. Mam said when he’d finished the book, she’d choose the best one and put it in a frame in the parlour.