by Marie James
Angry, I followed shortly after them. I knew I couldn’t handle seeing her in the kitchen tomorrow in his shirt. I don’t know what I was planning to do; all I knew was that I wouldn’t sit around and let it happen. I figured I’d bang on the door until he let me in. Then I would have insisted she leave and never offer herself up to him again. I didn’t know if it would’ve worked, but I had to try.
I was shocked when I rounded the hallway corner to see her leaving his room. I expected a confrontation of some sort, but she just raised an eyebrow at me and walked past without a word. I knocked softly on his door, yet he didn’t answer. I took the liberty of letting myself in.
He wasn’t in the main bedroom but I could hear the shower going. I stripped down and waited for him. I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest with nervousness. All shyness flew out the window the second I saw the heat in his eyes. I wasn’t being fair. I knew he wanted to wait, but that whole idea was barbaric. He had an issue with my age, not the state.
I was bordering on comatose and in a cloud of exhaustion when he tossed me a t-shirt and helped me under the covers. Once again he insisted on sleeping on top while I was restricted to below. Frustrating to say the least. It was almost like nothing happened between us.
Lying in bed this morning on his chest, I hear every deep breath he takes; I hear every strong beat of his heart. I know I’ll never be able to leave the clubhouse. I’ve wanted nothing more than to leave this horrible town and my past behind me, but leaving town means leaving him. That’s not something I can do. The path that I’ve wanted for years now seems like a bad decision.
I flex my fingers against the warm skin of his chest. Every night prior to last night he’s slept in his blue jeans. Last night he’d only tugged on his boxer briefs. I have no idea what he’s dreaming about but it must be good because he’s testing the strength of the cotton with a thickness I’m certain to never be able to handle.
Feeling as if last night brought us closer together, I slide my hand down his stomach and wiggle my fingers under the elastic band of his boxers. He’s hot, insanely hard, and surprisingly as silky as the finest fabric in existence. I grip and stroke him softly, watching his face for a reaction.
His lips part marginally, and his hips rotate in a tiny, delicious circle. I grin against the skin of his neck. I sweep my tongue out and love the way his early morning facial hair under his jawline feels on my tongue. It’s raw and rough, and I can’t help but wonder what it’ll feel like against my own body.
He shifts again and suddenly stills. Pulling my head away slightly, I look at his face, but I keep my hand moving on his cock. I’ve read books; I know men love to be woken up sexually.
His eyes jerk open, and he looks from my eyes to my hand hidden behind his boxers and back to my eyes. I smile at him and give him a little squeeze.
“Morn…” I begin.
“Goddamn it, Khloe,” he says climbing out of the bed as quickly as he can. It would be comical if he didn’t have fire in his eyes. I’m not talking about the passion he had last night either. He is pissed. “This isn’t a fucking joke to me!”
He storms away from the bed and slams the bathroom door behind him. Tears flood my eyes, and my nose burns as I try to fight them. Rejection has never hurt so much.
I climb off the bed, trying not to fall from the tangled sheets around my ankles and scoop up my clothes from last night. Quietly making my way to his door, I check the hall and make sure no one else is in between his door and mine. I scurry like a lost mouse back to my room and close it almost silently behind me.
I’ve been pushing to take things further for days, but I can honestly say I think I pushed him too hard this morning. Even after last night, he still refuses me. He’s never yelled at me before. Twice he’s chastised me for tempting him too much, but both of those situations ended with a sweet kiss to the forehead, not a slamming door.
I drag myself to the bathroom and look at my reflection in the mirror. I recognize the desolate girl looking back at me; I’ve seen her a million times before. She’s hopeless and hurt. These emotions I know how to handle; it was the elation and happiness I’ve been feeling the last couple of days that were new to me.
I strip out of his t-shirt and fold it neatly. I need a shower, but I know the shirt is going right back on after I get out. My self-hatred and regret will come easier while wearing it.
***
The knock at the door pulls me from a nap I didn’t even know I was taking.
“Come in,” I say, sleep evident in my voice.
My heart speeds up, hoping Kid has calmed down and is coming to tell me he doesn’t hate me. My face falls slightly when Emmalyn sticks her head inside.
“Sorry,” she says walking in and shutting the door. “I can tell you were hoping it was someone else.”
I sit up on the bed and pull a pillow from behind me so I can clutch it to my chest.
Here comes the ‘you’re too young, you need to leave him be’ speech. I can see it in her eyes.
“Nice shirt,” she says with a smirk as she sits on the end of the bed.
I hold the pillow up higher but can’t hide the grin on my face. “Fits perfectly,” I say over the top of my barricade. That’s a lie of course; the shirt is so big I could wear it as a dress.
“Looks like it. I missed you at breakfast and lunch. Kid stormed through but refused to talk to anyone. So…” she says trailing off. I tilt my head at her. “Spill,” she says kicking her leg out and tapping my knee with it.
As much as I want to right now, I’ve never done the bestie girlfriend thing. Not that I’d consider Emmalyn a close friend, but other than Kid, she’s literally the only other person I’d consider even an acquaintance.
“Tell me,” she begs with a wide grin on her face.
“We umm…” I don’t even know how to say it. I can feel my face flush, reddening at my embarrassment.
“You guys had sex? Was it good?”
Is this what it’s like to have girlfriends? They share this kind of stuff.
I laugh. “No it didn’t go that far.”
“He ate you out?”
I huff incredulously. “I wish.”
“So he fingered you then?”
“No. I umm… did that myself, while he…” I make a jacking motion with my hand.
Her eyes grow wide. “He watched you masturbate while he did the same?” I nod. “That’s so fucking hot.”
I nod my head faster. “Extremely,” I confess.
She leans back further on the bed, getting more comfortable. “Still doesn’t explain why he was in such a shitty mood this morning.”
I wring my hands together in my lap, recalling him storming into the bathroom once again.
“He refuses to touch me.”
“I imagine it was hard for him to keep his hands off of you, but it’ll happen eventually. From what I hear around the clubhouse, you guys spend every night together.”
“He sleeps on top of the covers and makes me sleep under them.”
Her laugh brings a smile to my face.
“He usually keeps his jeans on, but last night, you know… after… he just put on boxers. When I woke up this morning, he was hard to resist. He was…” I hold up my pointer finger.
“Hard?” she asks, clearly understanding what I was inferring.
“Yeah,” I say. “I thought after last night, even though he refused to touch me that way, I’d touch him. I figured it would be okay.”
She shakes her head. “He’s set in his ways, Khloe. He’s not a boy that can be manipulated. He’s a grown man. He’s doing his best to resist you until you turn eighteen. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but that’s not fair to him.”
“I know. I didn’t do it to try to manipulate him; it’s just… I don’t know.” I hang my head again. “It felt natural, like something we’d do first thing in the morning.”
“I completely understand. Diego loves to be woken up with my hands or my m
outh on him, and Kid will too… once you guys get to that point. But, he’s been pretty adamant that he wants to wait.” She’s completely right.
“Tricking him wasn’t even on my mind this morning,” I tell her again.
“I know,” she says with a quick pat on my knee. “And I also understand why he was so upset this morning. He’s not accustomed to turning girls down, especially not one he’d love nothing more than to stay locked in a room with for days on end.”
“You think he wants me?”
“Seriously?” She grins at me. “Probably more than he’s ever wanted anyone. I’ve not known him for very long, but he’s never been this way with anyone that I’ve seen before. He’s pissed because he wants you so bad. It’ll happen; you just have to wait until the time is right, and according to Kid,” she smiles even bigger. “That’s probably going to be the stroke of midnight on your eighteenth birthday.”
“I figured it was more than just my birthday. He seemed pretty upset when I told him that I’d never had sex before.” I look up and try to read her face for the same reaction.
She raises an eyebrow and coughs a laugh. “Well, that’s a game changer for sure.”
“In a bad way?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe not,” she says with a quick shoulder shrug. “But it’s not the same as if you’d had more experience. I’m not in his head so I have no clue what he’s thinking, but I do know he’s struggling with keeping his hands to himself.”
“He seems to be doing fine to me.” I cover my mouth with my pillow and scream my frustrations into it.
“You’re frustrated,” she says climbing off the bed. “I totally get it. Maybe you should, you know…” she holds two fingers up and makes a rotating motion with them. “Take the edge off.”
I roll my lips between my teeth as she walks to the bedroom door to keep from laughing.
Did she just tell me to rub one out?
Seems like a perfect solution to me. I have tons of mental reminders stored away from last night to do just that.
Chapter 22
I don’t know what I’m more pissed about, the fact that Khloe had her hands down my boxers this morning when she knows I won’t touch her until her birthday, or the fact that I was awake when her hand slid down my stomach and grabbed my cock, and I didn’t stop her. I’m pretty sure I almost came the second her tiny, warm hand wrapped around me.
I groan in frustration and pick up my speed. I fucking hate running. I’d rather be in the gym lifting weights any day. Running in Farmington is almost like having a death wish, or a medical emergency wish. The roads are horrible, pot holes everywhere. I’m lucky I haven’t tripped or broken an ankle yet this morning since I can’t concentrate on anything other than the look in her eyes last night as she came, the taste of her release on her fingers, and the way her hand felt perfect around my dick.
And… now I’m jogging with a boner. Geez, not the perfect image we need for the club. I’m thankful to not be out here in my cut. I turn back toward the clubhouse, realizing I’m much further away than I normally go.
When I make my way back in, I know I’m already late for the meeting Kincaid told me about on my way out several hours ago. The main room is empty when there are normally a few guys in there shooting the shit or watching TV.
I stop by the kitchen for a bottle of water and head into the meeting room.
“We’re just waiting on….” I hear Kincaid say as I walk into the room.
“Whose fucking jalopy is that out front?” I ask referring to the beat to shit car parked directly in front of the doors.
I hear Snatch and Itchy laugh at me. They’ve been razzing me about Khloe and blue balls every chance they get. I flip them the bird as Shadow introduces me to a guy across the table.
“Have a good workout there, fella,” Shadow says playfully.
Ha, ha mother fucker, laugh it up.
Good thing about being in a room full of assholes is that I no longer have to carry around the erection I seem to have had every other second of the day.
I practically snarl at Shadow as I reach across the table and shake BT’s hand.
Kincaid clears his throat, calling order to the meeting since Itchy is so amused at my situation he’s practically cackling down at the other end.
I zone out as Kincaid and BT begin talking about his girl that was taken from Florida. I should pay attention; I’ve never been this distracted in a meeting before. It’s not good and definitely not fair to the team.
It isn’t until I hear my name that my attention to the situation returns. I jerk my head up and look at Kincaid. Surely, what Shadow just said can’t be true. They want me to go to Vegas with BT? Worst idea ever.
“Don’t give me that look,” Kincaid says as if I’m a damn child. “You need to get your ass out of New Mexico for a while.”
I shake my head no. “But, Khloe,” I begin.
“Khloe,” he says with a knowing look. “Exactly.” He gives me a look that’s not to be argued with. I’ve never doubted Kincaid, not once, and I’m not going to start now. His order may not be what I want at the moment, but I know he’s never steered me wrong before. If he feels like I should go with BT, then that’s where I go.
I zone out again, not able to keep my thoughts from how Khloe relentlessly flirted with Snatch last night. I snap out of my trance when everyone else begins to stand from the table.
“Leave about eight in the morning?” BT asks reaching for my hand again.
“Sure, man,” I agree. “It’s your show.”
I walk away from them grumbling like a child, but I can’t help it. I don’t know what’s going to be worse, being away from Khloe for a little while or staying here and being tortured every single day until she turns eighteen.
“Just what I need,” I mumble to myself. “A town full of hookers and a dick with hardly any self-control.”
“Girl trouble,” I hear Shadow explain to BT as I walk out of the room.
Asshole.
I have to walk by Khloe’s room to get to my own. I should just keep on walking, but as I mentioned earlier, my restraint where she’s concerned is very limited, non-existent really.
I knock softly on the door and hear her tell me to come in. I stand in the doorway, refusing to enter her room. She’s lounged back on her bed. The TV is on but the sound is turned down low.
“Snatch is going to get you a phone tomorrow.” I ran into him this morning on my way out. Since he was already heading into town, he agreed to grab one for her. That was of course after a couple jokes about not being able to score.
“Thank you,” she says softly.
I swallow roughly, wishing she were sitting in a chair rather than laid out in her bed. I can see the thin straps of her tank top. No bra straps. After seeing those glorious tits naked last night, I can easily picture what they’d look like behind the thin fabric of her shirt.
My cock has full understanding as well as it slowly begins to swell in my sweats. This girl is going to be the fucking death of me.
I clear my throat, quickly needing to get out of here.
“Won’t you join me?” she asks patting the empty side of the bed.
“Can’t,” I say with a quick head shake. “I’m heading out of town in the morning. I just wanted to stop in real quick and let you know.”
Her face falls, sadness marring her beautiful face. Her eyes begin to water, and it breaks my damn heart.
“Emmalyn will be here if you need anything, and I won’t be gone very long.”
She nods her head in understanding.
“I have to pack,” I say walking further into the room. I lean in and brush my lips over her forehead before leaving the room.
A couple more weeks of waiting. After that, I’m certain I’ll never be able to walk away from her again. That beautiful creature, unknowingly, has her claws so deep in me I can feel her in my soul.
***
I tossed and turned all night. I’m the type of guy tha
t does his best to shove women out the door after having sex, needing to sleep alone, but I was miserable last night. I missed the feel of Khloe’s warm body against mine. I missed the tickle of her breath on my neck as she slept.
Fuck. I just miss her, and I’m not even gone yet.
I dress quickly and carry my duffle to the front door. Khloe is already at the table eating breakfast when I walk into the kitchen. She’s chatting animatedly to Emmalyn. I smile, knowing Em will be a good friend to her. Em has been here for months and is very cordial to the other girls, but she hasn’t allowed herself to get close to anyone really. I know Khloe and Em will be good for each other.
I load up a plate and take a seat in the empty chair on the other side of Khloe.
“Mornin’,” I say and give her a quick kiss on the cheek.
She smiles brightly at the attention.
“Are you mad at me?” she asks quietly.
Emmalyn has pulled her attention from Khloe and is now talking to Kincaid.
“No,” I answer honestly and circle my arm around her back, tugging her closer to my side.
She rests her head on my shoulder as I eat.
I take a bite of eggs and begin to chew as she raises her head. “I ache for you,” she whispers in my ear.
I nearly choke on the food I just attempted to swallow. This girl is incorrigible. “Quit saying shit like that.” My scowl is evident when I hear Snatch chuckle from across the room. I glare at him, threatening his life with a simple look in my eyes. He’s kicked back in his seat, eyes half-mast; Snapper is beside him, with both of her hands under the table doing God knows what to him, and he still has the wherewithal to pay attention to me. Ridiculous.
“Why?” she asks innocently.
“Because it makes my dick hard,” I hiss quietly at her. “And we’re in the middle of the kitchen with ten other people around us.”
Her head goes back to my shoulder but only for a few seconds. Her arms raise up, and she wraps them around me. I feel her warm breath on my neck.
“I touched myself thinking of you last night,” she says in my ear before kissing my cheek.
I shove away from the table, unable to take any more from her. I already hate leaving her, and she’s making it even harder saying shit like that. I know exactly what her delicate fingers look like in that perfect pussy of hers, and that knowledge will stick with me for the rest of my life. If I think about it hard enough, I can still taste her sweetness on my tongue.