by Vivian Wood
He could still taste the sweet tea she’d sipped at that afternoon on the tip of her tongue. The heat of her mouth somehow bested his, and it was like sliding into a warm bed that felt just right.
This is ridiculous. It’s Poppy!
It had taken all his willpower to stop his hands from roaming. He’d already wrapped her up partially in his lap, but when their lips met he was hyperaware of her thigh draped across his. One hand on her back, the other around her shoulder—thank God he’d had enough self-control to not let his hands roam freely.
He’d barely noticed the flippy little chiffon dress she’d been wearing on the drive to Maryland and during lunch, but in the car? When she was pressed up against him and it was hiked up with all that creamy skin showing? All it would have taken was the slightest of movements and he could have felt that smooth skin all the way up.
It drove him crazy, all the way back to the city. Did I miss my chance? All he thought about was how the rest of her must feel. She couldn’t possibly be as good as she felt. Right?
For the first time, he wondered what she had on underneath all those little dresses and skirts. Sure, she complained about the work clothes all the time, and the few times he’d seen her after a shift she was in jeans, but he knew the real Poppy.
He knew the girl who complained about pants all throughout high school because they were too restricting. He knew the girl who loved spring break in college because she got to wear nothing but swimsuits and pastel sarongs. He knew the girl who went to even eight o’clock pre-med classes in college dressed in denim jackets and long, festival-ready skirts.
How had he never noticed her like that before? And if Poppy tasted even a sliver as good as her lips did, if what she had on under those frilly dresses was even a touch as intriguing as those flirty little skirts… Ryan knew he was in trouble.
The car came to an abrupt halt. He looked at her, but she kept her eyes directly ahead, her foot pressed on the brake. She wasn’t even going to put it in park or look at him. They were in front of his building, and this was his last chance. He looked at her, hard, but she wasn’t going to give in.
Ryan sighed, turned around and grabbed his messenger bag from the back seat. He opened his mouth to say something to her, anything, but was at a loss.
Just kiss her again. Right now. Take her upstairs and see if what you suspect is true.
The shape of her lips in profile mesmerized him. He could tell her heart rate was up just by her quick rapid breaths. But this was one showdown she was hellbent on not losing.
He wasn’t going to be the first to give in. Not now. He held his silence as he stepped out of the car, and barely shut the door before she sped away.
Ryan watched the car retreat down the street. He felt himself grow hard again just thinking about her. Was this what he’d been waiting for? There was something about Poppy he felt like he’d just discovered. Now that he’d had one taste, he needed another. It was like his body demanded it.
But they couldn't… could they?
15
Poppy
The burrito tasted like rubber, but Poppy didn’t care. She chewed through the cafeteria lunch special mindlessly. It had been two days since that moment with Ryan, and she hadn’t stopped thinking about it. She'd tried, but she just couldn’t imagine it was anything less than what it was—sheer magic, heat and passion.
She’d never felt anything like it. Not with Will, not with anybody. And the best part? She hadn’t seen it coming, and it had been pure fireworks.
Poppy had replayed it a hundred times, and each time it still made her wet. She imagined how it had felt being cradled on Ryan’s lap, the roughness of his jeans against her skin. The thong she wore under her dress covered almost nothing, and even as she’d been crying she was aware of the heat that radiated from him spreading across her thighs and ass.
When he’d moved in and kissed her, it was like that was what she’d been waiting for her entire life. The slight roughness of his stubble brushed her chin and cheeks, and it was a shocking contrast to the suppleness of his lips. When he’d caught her lower lip between his teeth and nibbled slightly, she'd heard a longing moan. It had taken her a moment to realize it came from her. It was like Will didn’t even exist and Ryan was her whole world.
His tongue tangled with hers was unlike anything she’d experienced. It felt right, natural, and she’d felt her nipples harden. She couldn’t help it. She pushed her breasts against his chest, and that alone had made her flood between her legs.
When she pushed off him, she knew she’d cut the magic short. But she was embarrassed, too humiliated to look down and see if she’d left any of her wetness on his jeans. Instead, she’d acted like a child. Had refused to say a single word to him after her stammered excuses.
She shook her head and let the burrito drop. You’re an idiot.
She’d wanted to do more than kiss. A lot more. She’d been ready, right then, to give her virginity to Ryan. Actually, it felt like she had been earmarked for him forever.
You stopped right in time, she told herself. Don’t be stupid. You stopped in time… just not early enough to prevent the kiss altogether.
Well. There was no putting that screeching cat back into the bag now, was there? Poppy groaned and rested her head on her arms, folded across the cafeteria table. Was that just a one-time thing? Or…
“What’s wrong with you?” Penny flopped down across from Poppy with her own tray of suspicious-looking “Mexican Monday” fare.
“Nothing,” Poppy said as she lifted her head to fake normalcy. “Just tired.”
“I hear that,” Penny said. “I think I got three hours of sleep last night, max.”
“Yeah.”
“You get any rest?” Penny asked as she took a bite of taco salad and made a face. “Gross, this isn’t sour cream.”
“I guess.”
Penny put down her fork. “Seriously, what’s wrong with you? Everything okay?”
Poppy sighed. “I guess I’m having some trouble with Will… or, to put it better, trouble with the lack of him.”
Penny smiled knowingly and reached over to pat her shoulder. “It must be hard. Him being gone like this.”
How does she know he’s gone? Poppy was suddenly on high alert. “I didn’t tell you he was gone.”
“No?” Penny asked and stuffed another forkful in her mouth. “Hmm. You must have mentioned it at some point.”
“I don’t remember saying anything.”
Poppy shrugged, “Maybe I saw it on Facebook or Twitter then or something.”
“Maybe.” Poppy rarely posted to social media. She found it too taxing to keep up with. Liking all those posts, retweeting or subtweeting or whatever.
“Anyway, I was just saying, having your boyfriend on the other side of the country can’t be any fun,” Penny said. “Maybe we should plan a girls' night or something.”
The thought of dressing up and hitting the bars with Penny made her roll her eyes. “Ugh, I can’t even think about anything but work and sleep right now.” And Ryan.
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Going out always sounds like a good idea at noon, but by the time six o’clock rolls around I just want to climb into bed with a bottle of wine and watch The Bachelorette.”
Poppy smiled. It had been a long time since she’d indulged in one of her vapid, guilty pleasures. “Now that sounds more like it.”
“Let me know if you want to do it together sometime this week,” Penny said. “I have a date coming up. Maybe you could give me some advice, help me pick out what to wear.”
“A date? Who with?” Penny rarely shared details of her love life, and it was a welcome distraction from being stressed over Ryan.
“Oh, uh, just this guy.”
“Well, I assumed that.”
“Hey now, don’t think you know me so well,” Penny said. She shook her fork toward Poppy playfully. “For all you know, I might swing both ways.”
“Right. You totally str
ike me as the president of the Ruby Rose fan club.” Poppy rolled her eyes. Penny was the straightest girl she’d ever known.
“Hey now! I happen to think women are totally beautiful. I’m more openminded than you think. Shane, from The L Word? I’d totally go lesbian for her.”
Poppy groaned. “Shush!” she said. “First of all, just because women are beautiful doesn’t mean you want to sleep with them. Second of all, anybody would hook up with Shane. And third, I can’t believe you just said ‘go lesbian.’ You’re about to get your butt kicked for that total lack of PCness.”
Penny giggled. “It’s just the two of us, right? I can’t censor myself all the time. Besides, I can just blame lack of sleep for my complete lack of sensitivity.”
“Yeah,” Poppy said. “Speaking of, we just had the sensitivity training seminar last week. Looks like it did you a lot of good.” She winked at Penny. It was this kind of giddy mindlessness that made her want to be friends with the crazy girl in the first place. When they got into their rhythm, it made the shifts fly by.
“So, back to the important stuff… I’m serious. Were you talking about Ryan?” Penny’s eyes were big as she shoved carnitas in her mouth.
“No! Penny, honestly… it’s just that Will's still in LA.” She forced a laugh and said, “He’s been gone so long other men are starting to distract me!”
Poppy said it like it was a joke, but Penny’s eyes narrowed. “You mean Ryan.”
“Please,” Poppy said as she rolled her eyes. Don’t be stupid, you’re saying way too much. Penny was smarter than she acted.
“Poppy,” Penny said. She reached across the table again and grabbed Poppy’s arm. “Are you holding out on me?”
“I didn’t mean anything by it! I was joking, forget I said anything.” She knew it would look suspicious, but she jumped up from the table and grabbed her tray. “I should be getting back,” she said. Shut up! Penny knows your schedule.
She dumped the flavorless burrito in the compost bin and fished her keys out of her jacket. Forget changing, she’d do it at home.
Penny was acting weird, for sure, she thought as she pulled out of the parking lot. Did Penny just disapprove, or was it more than that?
They weren’t really close, but there was a natural camaraderie that unfolded when you shared shift rounds with someone. Normally, Poppy would have been happy to have someone to dismantle this mess with. Now, it felt like all her usual confidantes were tangled up in the same web with her. Ryan, Will, Penny, the whole lot. Even Sarah. Oh, wow, I forgot about Sarah in all this. Sarah would kill her.
You’re in a mess. A real big, sloppy mess. As she pulled up to where the road forked in three directions, she gave a wry smile. Fitting. I’m literally at a fork in the road.
It was time to decide. For her, down one path was the future she'd always thought she’d have. Will would be a decent husband, and there would surely be kids and that white picket fence—or at least a brick privacy fence. It was safe, secure, and she knew what to expect. Maybe their kids would even inherit some of his creativity. Lord knows she didn’t have any.
And down that other path? She didn’t know. It was full of the promise of excitement, seasoned with plenty of uncertainty. Until now, she hadn't even known that path existed. It was wild and not well traveled. What did they call those kinds of trails again? Desire paths. That’s right. The trails blazed from pure desire—even while there are other trails that are obviously marked and cleared.
Will was at the end of one path, and Ryan the other. Well, maybe. Down Will’s path, it was all concrete but the plans were clear. Ryan’s path was full of potential turmoil. She might lose her best friend. Ryan’s path might not even be an option; it might all be a figment of her imagination.
The car behind her honked, and she noticed the light was green.
As she lifted her foot off the brake, she didn’t know if she'd be turning right or left. She always turned right here, since it took her home. However, as Robert Frost’s poem began to recite in her head, dug up from her undergraduate Literary Criticism class, she chose left.
Let’s just see where it goes.
16
Ryan
“Ryan, I haven’t seen you since BUD/S, man.” Ryan slapped Li on the back, and shook hands with Garret. “What you been up to? Besides sipping on those green drinks?” Li nodded to the extra-large protein smoothie in Ryan’s hand.
“Not much,” Ryan said. “I was just discharged not that long ago. Knee,” he said, and nodded to his leg. “You both still active duty?”
“Nah,” replied Li. “Went into the Marshals. We both did,” he said, and nodded at Garret.
“No shit, that’s what I’ve been looking into. The recruiter left me a message yesterday, actually. Seems like they have some kind of fast-track, on-the-job training option.”
“You should do it!” Garret said. He squinted his sky blue eyes and adjusted his hat brim.
“Yeah? You like it?”
“It’s awesome,” Garret said. “Good pay, and you can pretty much cherry-pick your details and location.”
“Yeah,” Li said. “If you’re military, especially SEAL, you’re golden.”
“What have they had you doing?”
Li shrugged. “Actually, we work together,” he said. “Mostly taking care of vehicles seized from criminals. It’s a lot of paperwork, but you get to handle some pretty sweet rides.”
“Last week it was a Bugatti Chiron,” Garret said. “The whole back end was kitted out to transport blow. And, what, six weeks ago? We actually got a Koenigsegg Regera processed. Unbelievable, I never thought I’d see one of those, let alone drive it.”
“They let you drive it?” Ryan asked, impressed.
“Well, from the pickup site to the processing center. Just a few miles, but it was incredible.”
“Sounds great, man,” Ryan said. Moving around million-dollar cars wasn’t his idea of a dream job, but he saw the appeal. Exotic rides were all Li and Garret had talked about in training.
“You should do it, give ‘em a call back,” Li said. “Actually, who’re you talking to? Lieutenant Dan?”
“Stevens,” Ryan said.
“Yeah man, that’s him. Don’t he look like Lieutenant Dan, though? That’s what we call him.”
“Who the hell is Lieutenant Dan?”
“Man, didn’t you ever see Forrest Gump? Anyway, yeah, it’s the same guy. I can call in an informal rec if you want.”
Ryan sized up Li. For all his arrogance and preening, he’d kept a flawless record in the SEALs. Maybe running into him and Garret on the street was a sign. What could it hurt?
“Yeah, sure, why not?” he said.
“Cool. I’ll call him in a few. I'll let him know you’ll call him this afternoon?”
Ryan felt the pressure already start to build. Li had always moved fast, but seemed so laidback nobody saw it coming.
“Uh, yeah. Will do.”
“Alright, cool. See you later, brother.” Li went in for one of his complicated handshake-fist bump combinations, and Ryan was surprised to see he remembered it even after all these years.
“Lieutenant Stevens.” Ryan clutched his phone. Why are you nervous?
“Lieutenant, this is PO Scott,” he said.
“Scott. Yeah, PO Li said you’d be calling. What can I do for you? I’m assuming you got my message yesterday.”
“Yes, sir. I’m curious where you have work available. For the on-the-job fast-track.”
“Pretty much everywhere,” the lieutenant said with a laugh. “Like I said, US Marshals aren’t suffering from an overabundance of qualified applicants.”
“What about locally?”
“Locally, nationwide, anywhere. You can fill out the paperwork today if you’d like, it’s all online. A lot of new hires start out with small projects locally, then build up to more national positions—or even international.”
“That sounds perfect, sir. Thank you. I’ll fill out the for
ms now.”
“Good, son. Just click on the link in the initial email from a few weeks ago. It has the PIN and everything you need. The only thing I’ll need from you in person is biometric data and a few ink signatures. Can you come in this week?”
“Yes, sir. Whatever day and time works for you.”
“I’ll send you a calendar invitation in a few minutes. Isn’t technology something?”
Ryan smiled. “Yes, sir.”
He hung up and rubbed the back of his neck. What now? His mind wandered to Poppy, the way she'd looked in that parking lot when she was half seated on his lap. The warmth of her mouth. Stop it, he told himself, and pushed her out of his mind.
That was crazy, the other day. Kissing her like that. He stood on the precipice of lighting a lifetime of friendship on fire. Not just friendship, the best friendship he’d ever had. By a long shot. He couldn’t figure out why he’d never seen how perfect she was—not just on the inside. That was something he’d always known. But on the outside, too.
In high school, he’d lucked onto the varsity football team as a sophomore. He was just a running back, but the coach had seen his potential and wanted to groom him with the star players. By his junior year he was the quarterback, which pissed Evan off something fierce. Evan was the senior who'd been most likely to earn the position, and when the coach gave it to Ryan tension on the team mounted.
“Yo, Ryan,” Evan had said after one of the first practices of the season. He’d cornered him in the locker room. None of the other guys dared to look up. “What’s up with you and that Poppy girl?”
Poppy? Ryan had been expecting some shit about the practice. Maybe even a little scuffle. Evan’s approach threw him off guard.
“Poppy? Not much,” Ryan said. Poppy had managed the first half of high school going largely unnoticed. She had her own little group of friends, a hodgepodge collection of girls who didn’t really fit into any cliques.