by Saundra
I wanted to say something, but no words came. I even parted my lips to force sound, but nothing came out. The look on Promise’s face begged for words but I had none. “We’re twins.” She announced it as if it was a secret. “Mama”—I froze at the mention of her. Promise must have sensed my apprehension, but she continued on—“She always said that you looked more like her. And that I looked like Dad.”
I could not take any more. I just wanted her to stop. “Umm, you must be mistaken. I don’t have a mom. My dad raised me.”
“Yes, I know.” She jumped right back in as if she was clearing things up.
Either she was deaf or dumb—either way, I was done. “Listen, I don’t know what it is you think you know, but it’s not me you are lookin’ for.”
“I ain’t lookin’ for nothin’. Now I know this is hard . . . a shock even, but I’m your sister. Not that it’s not obvious, I mean we look just alike.” She twisted up the corner of her mouth like she rested her case. “But you are my family, all I have left, and I would not be here if you were not . . . After being raised in different foster homes, I know rejection, and do not under any circumstances subject myself to it for fun . . . Now I found out that our dad, Larry, died not even a year ago.”
At the mention of my dad’s name, my heart dropped and my emotions were all over the place, but I could not deny we were spitting images of each other. I cleared my throat. “I’ll have to be sure. Are you willing to take a blood test?”
“Sure, whatever makes you feel comfortable, just let me know when you are ready.” She agreed without hesitation.
We stood in silence for a few seconds. “You mentioned that you have been in foster homes. Where is our . . . where is your mother?” I rephrased.
Tears instantly filled her eyes and I knew what was to follow. “She died.” Reaching into her purse, she pulled out two pictures. Slowly, she handed them off to me. One of the pictures showed the face of a woman that I had never seen, with my father’s arms wrapped tightly around her waist. In the other picture, the lady was holding two babies. Tears fell from my eyes as I realized it was my mother holding Promise and me. Now I understood my light skin. My mother was white. Oddly, Promise had come out milk chocolate, just like our dad. But she was one of the most beautiful milk-chocolate people I had ever laid eyes on.
“You see, you are all I have.” Promise wiped at her tears.
“Well. . . . your mom must have left Dad, so it’s on her.” I handed her back the pictures and wiped my tears away.
Promise seem shocked by the coldness and accusation. She carefully slid the pictures back into her purse. “No, that’s not how it happened. It’s not that simple.”
“Yeah, it is. A mother takes one child and leaves the other.” I was becoming angry just thinking about it. How could she have abandoned me like that? How did she choose which one us of to take? What was her thought process?
“No, Precious, it’s not like that.”
I yelled from frustration, “Then what is it like then, Promise? Some kind of process of elimination?”
“She would never do that. She loved us both the same . . . she was human though, with dreams, but he didn’t care,” Promise cried out, sounding equally annoyed.
“He who?” I questioned. “Who is this he?”
“Dad. All he cared about was this place.” Promise’s eyes roamed the room, clearly noticing it for the first time. Again, she reached inside her purse and pulled out another photo and handed it to me. It was a picture of Dad standing in front of the dry cleaners with his hands raised, pointing at the obviously newly painted sign. And he was wearing the biggest grin I had ever seen on him. “Mom wanted to sing professionally. She had a voice as big as Mariah Carey’s. It was her lifelong dream and he knew it . . . they met while she was at a club performing with her band. But she said that she loved him at first sight. So they got married right away. Two years later they had us. Dad promised that she could get back to her singing as soon as we were walking. But then he suddenly changed his mind, saying he wouldn’t have a wife running around the country chasing a dream. She said they constantly fought about it. Finally, with music dripping from her veins and tugging at her soul, she made up her mind to leave him. But the night she planned to leave, you started to cry and it woke Dad up. He got up and took you into the living room to rock you back to sleep. By the time he got you quieted down and sleeping again, he had also fallen asleep holding you . . . So when her ride showed up, she had the hardest choice she ever had to make. She took me and left. But she said she would have never dreamed that Dad would keep you away from her. She actually thought he might come to his senses and we might be a family again. Instead, he threatened that if she tried to see you, he would go to court and take me from her as well. She said she could not lose us both, so over the years, through letters, she begged him to let her see you. She never gave up . . . that is, until her so-called boyfriend slash manager, who she had planned to leave because he had blown a major record deal for her, shot and killed her. But, Precious, she always wanted you. She loved you.”
Tears started to fall. Everything that she had said was adding up, especially about the letters. I started to remember the heartbreaking day when I had found them, and I didn’t want to think about it.
“Can you please just leave?” I asked. Promise opened her mouth, probably to protest, but I held my hand up and stopped her. “Please, I need to be alone.”
She reached for one of the business cards on the counter and scribbled something on the back and slid it over to me. Slowly, she turned and walked away. Before exiting, she turned and looked at me one last time.
Chapter 30
At first, I was truly at a loss for words, first finding out about my mother and then finding out that not only did I have a sister, but a twin sister. I was numb and scared to turn any corner, for fear of finding out anything else that my dad had lied about or hidden from me. Telling me that my mother was dead was one thing; he was mad at her, hated her even, for going against his wishes. But to lie to me about having a sister? That was punishing Promise and me for something that we couldn’t control. Did he hate us as well? How could he handle not seeing Promise all those years? But I was my father’s daughter. Instead of embracing Promise when she came to me, I did as he had and I punished her by sending her away. It took me a few days to realize what I had done, but it was just so much to handle. I had to rationalize my thoughts and try to make some sense out of my tattered life.
“I was worried that you might never call,” Promise said as she slid into the booth I secured for us. I had invited her out for Mexican so that we could talk.
“Took me a couple days but . . .” I sighed. “I hope you like Mexican. This place has the best margaritas, so I ordered us one.”
“Actually, it is my favorite.”
“Mine too.” I smiled as the waitress set the margaritas down in front of us. She asked if we needed a minute to order, but we both said like clockwork that we knew what we wanted. Turns out, we were both crazy for chicken fajitas on corn tortillas. We giggled as the waitress walked away. “I guess we like some of the same things,” I commented.
“Naturally,” Promise cosigned, then took a sip of her drink.
I decided to break the ice since I had invited her out, and I had a few things I needed to say. “I know the other day didn’t go well. Probably not as you had planned or hoped it would. And I apologize to you about being so rude and mean. You didn’t deserve that from me. I was just in a bit of shock . . . I had to process it all.”
“It’s okay. I understand—”
I cut her off.
“No, I need to say this . . . It was a shock for me to hear that I might have some family left. When Dad died . . .” I stopped for a minute and tried to calm down. I could feel a lump growing in my throat and I did not come out here to cry. I took a sip of my margarita. “When Dad died, I thought I was alone. It had only been he and I for so long, I knew that I didn’t have anyone el
se. But I tried to cope with it and get on with my life. I had to. Then a few months after he passed, I was going through some of his things and found letters. The last letter that our mother had sent was when I was around about six years old. But you see, he had been telling me that she had been dead since I was a baby.”
A slight gasp escaped Promise’s lips and tears began to flow as she listened to the last words that slipped from my tongue. I was sure the thought of our dad telling me that our mother had been dead since I was a baby was heartbreaking for her.
She cleared her throat. “That’s when she died, when we were six. Four months after our birthday,” Promise confirmed.
The waitress approached our table and placed sizzling hot skillets of fajitas in front of us.
“Dad and I were really close and it hurt me so bad when I found out he had lied to me for all that time. I struggled . . . I mean I still struggle to understand why. Now I’m just . . . I don’t know.” I shrugged my shoulders because there simply were no words.
“Well, I guess now it’s up to us. We have to somehow learn how to move forward. I can’t understand why he lied either. I wonder how he could not want to see me or have me in his life. I struggled with the fact that he didn’t love me enough. And as I grew older in foster homes, I resented him for rejecting me. All those times Mama reached out to him to have contact with you, never did he even ask about me. It breaks my heart knowing that he never cared for me the same as he did for you. And I would love to know why.” Promise’s eyes were filled with tears. “But . . .” She shrugged her shoulders and sniffed back the tears. The look on her face was defeat. We both knew that these were just things we would never have an answer to.
“I guess life will figure it out for us. Tell you what, I know what will make us both feel better for the time being. These fajitas look great, so let’s eat them before they get cold.”
“For real.” Promise bit into her sizzling fajitas and took a taste test. “Oh my God. I love these.” Promise chewed and talked.
We ate our food and actually laughed a bit. We stopped the parent talk and learned a few things about each other. It felt odd sitting across from someone who was the spitting image of me. I could hardly believe it was real. I was glad I had made the decision to call her; it felt good knowing that I was again not alone.
Chapter 31
“You sure you gone be able to stay over, K? I can come back later if you need to leave.”
“Nah, I got it. I could use the extra cash; you know I’m saving up.”
“You good? You need anything? You know I got you.” Katrina was like family even though she worked for me. I always had her back. But she always turned me down. Sometimes I just threw her a bonus here and there; that’s the only way I could get her to take the extra money. She worked hard.
“I told you I’m straight. Just fattening my pockets. I ain’t got shit to do anyway. What I need is a good man. But these LA thugs won’t let me be great. All they want to do is sell nickel sacks, body niggas, and end up on skid row. And I ain’t got time to be visiting nobody in prison.” Katrina laughed.
“Aye, I’m sure yo’ true love out there.” I laughed. “But I gotta go. I’ll hit you later to check on things. Call me if anything comes up.”
I bounced outside into the sweltering heat. The last place I wanted to be but had no choice. I had a meeting to attend. Quincy had called me a week ago with a lead on some new territory that could bring us some money. But another known crew had been trying to move in on it. The leader went by the name Black; he was known in the streets as a big player in the game. Not as huge as us—at least his supplier was not as legit—but he was making moves. Either way our crew ruled the streets of LA and everyone knew it. DaVon had paved the way and our crew was king. I didn’t want to make noise where it wasn’t needed. So I thought about a reasonable response. If there was such a thing. I had Quincy set up a meeting with Black. Today was the day and Quincy, Clip, and I were meeting early to go over some things. Our backup was in place just in case.
“Let’s get down to business.” Quincy barely let me sit down in my seat. Sometimes he could be a little edgy.
“What’s up?” I gave him the floor.
“We got to get this block. The money is major and the bullshit got to be burned, now.”
“Aye, fa sho’ two niggas already dead over the beef last night. Shit only gone git’ uglier. Them lil niggas is hotheads with no fuckin’ aim,” Clip said.
“That has to cease; we can’t have it. The bloodshed gone stop the money. And we all know eating is the goal.”
“Damn right. The block was shut down last night and still shut down. One time been patrolling extra hard.”
“They tape the scene?” I asked.
“Hell naw. They don’t give a fuck about them lil niggas. They just pressuring,” Clip added.
“Cool. They’ll probably shut that patrol down in the next twenty-fours, and when they do we need to be ready to supply,” I said.
“I’m wit’ that,” Quincy jumped back in, his eyes huge. “Listen, I know this ain’t the norm. But like you said, the bloodshed has to stop so we can get to the money. I been thinkin’ maybe we should split the block.”
I thought I heard him wrong and my neck snapped in his direction. “Hell naw.” Spit almost flew out my mouth. “That shit ain’t nowhere on the table.” I eyed Quincy with confusion.
“Mane, what the fuck is you thinkin’? Niggas gone shoot each other up just being in the same space.” Clip frowned at Quincy. “Precious, this nigga must be high.”
“Fuck you mean I’m high?” Quincy barked. Clip sat up in his seat. I saw them ready to growl at each other.
“Listen. Y’all calm down. Now ain’t the time for this. Now like I said, we ain’t splittin’ no block. First off they product weak. That shit made from dust.” I was being honest. “I don’t want our clients buying that crap and gettin’ it mixed up with our product. We distribute grade A. The streets know that. So we stand by it. That’s it.” I sat back in my seat. I looked at the time.
“It’s time,” Clip announced. Just then, Mob signaled Black’s arrival.
Quincy and Clip left the room so Black could come in. They would wait outside the door. I would signal them if I needed anything.
Black was everything his name signified. I had only seen him around the way a few times. He was black as the soot around your stove. Short and stocky with dreads that started at his receding hairline. Simply put, he was ugly as fuck. I would have laughed, but I didn’t have time.
“Why don’t you have a seat?” I offered him. He licked his lips and I blinked, realizing he was trying to be suave.
“You just as beautiful up close as you are off from a distance.”
“Really. You just as dark up close as you are from a distance,” I shot back. He had some nerve.
“It’s okay, baby. The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice.”
“Hmmm.” I twisted my lip in disgust. “Or maybe it’s the bigger the ego the smaller the dick.” His big eyes squinted to slits and his smile faded. I was sure that now we could get down to business.
“So why I’m here?”
“Let’s see. Blocks and dead bodies.” He was really starting to piss me off.
“I think I heard something about that.”
“Listen, Black. I’m here on business and time is the bag. So.”
“Aye, it’s simple: The block is mine. We been dealing tha’ shit a good week before yo’ crew tried to step in. So stand down, and you can continue to make money in my city.”
I laughed out loud because he was actually serious. “You a funny guy. I didn’t know I needed popcorn and Skittles to attend this meeting.” I smirked, then sat up and stared him down. “Now . . . if you don’t stand down you will lose four of your workers a week to the cemetery. I will then sell my grade A product to your customers for half the price. And that will bring your bogus-ass business down to nonexistent.” I was clear on my pos
ition. “Now you tell me. Are you ready to make a play for it?”
The fight evaporated from Black’s face. He sucked on jaws for about twenty seconds. “A’ight. Calm down, you ain’t got to do all that.” He gave in reluctantly. “My guys dead on that block effective immediately. All I ask is that your guys don’t step into any of my other territories. Shit, we gotta eat too.”
I nodded in agreement and we shook on it. “But you better make it clear to your peons, the first one steps back on my block will bleed, and not for the paramedics. The morgue.” I smiled to make it clear.
Black left the room and I could see his confidence roll out with him. Clip and Quincy stepped back in the room. “In twenty-four hours have my block supplied and running.”
Quincy and Clip both nodded and headed out for business.
Chapter 32
The past two weeks with Promise had been busy. Without even trying, we threw each other into the mix. Promise was getting herself together in LA. She hadn’t been in the city long but was learning it, and things seemed to be looking up for her. The law firm that she had interviewed with for a secretary position had finally called and she was excited. But she said that she still wanted to find another part-time job so that she could save a few bucks. So I offered her a position at the dry cleaners and she happily accepted.
But recently I found out that she was living in a hotel, and I could not have that. I owned two houses and there was no way I would have my own sister living hand-to-mouth in a hotel. I tried to offer her Dad’s house, but she refused, saying she did not want to live in that big house alone. So DaVon’s crib with me it was. She was due to arrive any minute; Maria was there early, getting everything ready for her. I had filled her in on DaVon, about him being my boyfriend and that he had been murdered, that he had left me his house.