Masochist

by Nadia Aidan

  That raised Ares’ eyebrows but he remained silent, waiting for her to finish speaking.

  “My mother died when I was just fourteen. But she did not simply die of natural causes as everyone believes. She was murdered. And I saw it all. I witnessed Woodward murder my mother and then I held her in my arms as she took her last breath. Woodward brutally killed her because he’d learned of her infidelity.

  “As I was the only witness, naturally he wanted me dead as well, but he couldn’t kill me too—it would have incurred too much suspicion. Just as he saw no way to have me imprisoned, so he did the next best thing. He threatened me into silence for several years until he finally found a reason to justify sending me away. After what happened between me and Adonis, he banished me to that convent and had me strictly cloistered, and no one questioned him.”

  “Why didn’t you tell anyone about what happened?” Ares demanded to know.

  “At first, because I was a frightened child and he threatened to pin her murder on me, and I believed him. I know now that, if he could have done such a thing, he would have. He would have had me sent to prison or watched me be sentenced to death without a second thought. He must not have seen a way to frame me, so the convent was the only way to ensure I would never reveal what happened. Yet had I been determined, eventually his threats would not have been enough to ensure my silence, especially once I grew older and was no longer a scared little girl. But by the time I was old enough and brave enough to say anything, I’d already made the decision that I would deal with him personally. And in the convent I knew it was only a matter of time before I could escape and do just that.”

  “So the fire—at the convent. You killed someone then dumped their body so that you could escape.”

  She glowered at Ares. “I am many things but I do not kill the innocent. Jarrod stole a body from the morgue and left it at the convent. He set the fire after I was gone.”

  “And what about the other fires—at your sister’s place, Adonis’ hotel, his home…”

  “Serena started the one at her bordello.” She smiled then. “And yes, you were right, Ares, to accuse me of setting the others. I was the one who set those.”

  “You planted a bomb in my penthouse? You nearly killed yourself in that fire.” She heard the distress in Adonis’ voice. She glanced at him—to do even that made her heart ache.

  “It was necessary. I needed you to believe I was in danger.”

  “So the three of you are all involved in this—Serena, Jarrod and you.”

  She shook her head. “Serena’s role is minimal. She set that fire because I asked her to and that was all she needed to know. She is my sister and, no matter what, we are loyal to one another. Serena knows nothing of Woodward’s hand in the death of our mother. That is why he did not insist on having her sent to a convent. She was ignorant of all his sins and I want to keep it that way for as long as I can.”

  “Why? Why would you keep something like that from her?”

  She studied Ares. He would not understand her reasoning. Few could. “Serena has a purity of heart that is rare. You could say she is a whore with a heart of gold.”

  “While you’re the nun with a heart full of coal.”

  She smiled at Ares’ statement. Some might see it that way. She was certainly not a virtuous woman free of sin. She may have lived the life of a nun, but she was not one. Not in thoughts or in deeds.

  “And what is Jarrod’s role in all of this?”

  She shrugged. “He is Woodward’s illegitimate son. I didn’t even know about him until a few years ago. For the last three years, Serena has visited me at the convent at least four times a year. Since I could never leave and we are twins, she would take my place and I hers for a day or two. It was the only way I could get out. It was during one of those times that Jarrod visited Serena’s brothel and revealed his identity to me. My father would have nothing to do with him. He’d left Jarrod’s mother with no money and a child to raise. His mother ended up simply working herself to death to take care of him, while Woodward lived lavishly. And when his mother died, my father simply foisted Jarrod off on a couple who Woodward paid to raise him. Needless to say, Jarrod is as bitter as I.”

  “If that is the case, then how did Jarrod come to live at your father’s home? Why would your father offer Jarrod a place in his home, but nothing else?”

  “Blackmail. I told Jarrod what happened to my mother and he used it to blackmail Woodward into ‘giving’ Jarrod that home. Woodward hasn’t lived there in over a year. I assume the maid told you otherwise, but, I assure you, Marcy works for my brother and is paid to tell you whatever he tells her to say.”

  “If what you say is true, and Jarrod blackmailed your father into ceding him the house, why not get your father to give him some of his money as well?”

  “Jarrod tried to blackmail him for money, but he soon discovered my father can only be pushed so far. After two failed attempts upon his life, Jarrod did not push anymore and Woodward went into hiding after that.”

  “He went into hiding?” Ares’ eyebrows peaked. “When? Why?”

  “A little over a year ago. As to why and where he has gone, well, that is what I am trying to find out.”

  “But what has changed?” Ares demanded. “Why, after all these years, have you only just now decided to leave the convent to go in search of your father?”

  Selena smiled, a smile that was as serene as it was cruel. That question was the easiest of them all. “I promised my mother as I watched her die that I would kill the man who did this to her. And I’m sure you know better than most that revenge never dies. When he disappeared, I knew it was time to act before I lost my chance forever.”

  “And Rutherford McGurie—you killed him too? Was his death part of your plan?”

  “Not at all. I didn’t kill him, and I can assure you it wasn’t Jarrod, either. ”

  “And how do you know that Jarrod wasn’t involved?” asked Ares. “How well do you know this long lost brother of yours after all?”

  “Admittedly, not as well as I know my sister, but, in the time I’ve known him, I’ve come to realise that Jarrod is loyal and he is meticulous about following the order of things. He did not kill Rutherford because that was not part of the plan. The plan was for Jarrod to help me get out of the convent and get Adonis and the rest of you to trust me long enough to believe I was in danger by setting those fires. In the meantime, he manipulated the transfer of money so you would be convinced it was the money Woodward was after.”

  “So your father is not after you,” Adonis said flatly. She looked at him, holding his gaze longer than she’d dared to before. It was painful. His eyes were cold, devoid of any emotion as if he felt nothing.

  She’d been ruthless in orchestrating this plan. She’d never imagined she’d still have feelings for him, or that he’d still have feelings for her. On both counts she’d been wrong and now her heart ached at the pain she glimpsed in his hooded eyes…pain she’d caused.

  “No, Woodward is not after me. Quite the opposite. It is me who is after Woodward.”

  “And those rings? Your brother planted those as well?”

  She returned her attention to Ares, her brow creased in contemplation. “Again, that was not part of our plan. I have no idea what those rings symbolise, and I was as surprised to see them as you.”

  “Then it would appear as if we have a mystery on our hands, now, don’t we?” Ares said dryly. It was clear he did not believe her entirely, but that was his concern not hers. On that point, she was telling the truth.

  She’d never seen those rings in her entire life, had no idea who had left them at the scene of those fires, or why. And she certainly did not grasp the point in killing Rutherford. He’d been such a minor player in this grand scheme. His death seemed almost pointless.

  “So was the business of your mother’s estate and her will a lie? Did you fake that too so that I would believe Woodward was after you and you were in danger?” Adonis’ vo
ice was whispery quiet and she looked to him again.

  “Not at all. My mother’s estate is very real.”

  “And you knew you could use it to draw your father out.”

  Adonis shoved a hand through his hair. “Then why send a note to me? Why threaten me when it’s obvious you’re not in danger, when you’ve planned all along to spring a trap for your father? Why did you need to gain the trust of me and my brothers? Why did you need us to believe you were in danger? Why did you need us at all?”

  “I needed you to believe I was coming for you. I knew your sense of guilt would force you to at least give me an audience. I knew that if you believed I was in danger, that your sense of guilt would also force you to offer me your protection.”

  “And here I believed I was orchestrating your return to protect you from your father, when it was you pulling all of the strings. But I sense there is something else, something you’re not telling. Why did you need me to offer my protection, when truly you don’t need it at all?” Adonis pressed.

  She sighed. Adonis could be unrelenting, but there was one last secret she could not reveal, one last component of her plan that still had yet to play out.

  “Because, under your protection, I knew you would take me somewhere safe.”

  Adonis narrowed his eyes, and she was certain Ares did the same. They were shrewd men, astute. There was no doubt they recognised there was far more to her statement…and there was. When Adonis’ gaze probed deep, straight to the heart of her, she stilled, his next words causing the blood in her veins to freeze over.

  “Somewhere safe…or here?”

  Somehow she managed to recover quickly. “What is the difference?”

  “I don’t know, Selena. You’re the one coordinating this grand performance—you tell me.”

  Selena didn’t. After that she didn’t say another word. None of them did.

  And after that, she found herself sitting atop the bed with one arm cuffed to the headboard, waiting for Ares and Adonis to decide what they would do with her next.

  This was not part of her strategy, but even the best laid plans could go awry. Her fate now rested in the hands of the two men who stood on the other side of that door. If they made the wrong decision, it would alter everything she’d so carefully crafted, but no matter her fate, neither man could stop what she’d set out to do. This game was bigger than any of them and once set in motion, it would not be stopped until the final piece was played.

  * * * *

  Adonis stood before the closed door leading into his childhood bedroom. The woman beyond that door was not the woman he’d once known and loved. She was someone far different, far worse.

  The woman he’d loved had been many things, but she would never have lied to him, manipulated or betrayed him. He’d offered his very soul to take Selena’s pain away because of the guilt he still carried, because of the love he still felt. And she’d simply been using him…for sport, as a means to an end. In the end, Selena had proven to be just like all the others who sought his company—she used him as she took her pleasure for as long as he was useful.

  “You cannot blame yourself,” Ares said from behind him. “We were all manipulated by them.”

  And now Apollo and Eros were with Serena, presumably at a safe house, where neither of them could be contacted. They’d done as instructed and now there was no way to communicate with them, to convey to them that Serena could not be trusted. And, despite her sister’s claims, it was very likely that Serena had her own role to play and her own agenda.

  It was possible that Serena wasn’t a threat, but they didn’t know that. His brothers could be in danger and he was responsible. He’d placed their lives in danger for the love of a woman who’d betrayed him.

  “You should go after them,” Adonis said to his brother as he finally turned to face him. “You should find them. They no longer need to guard Serena since we now know she is not in danger.”

  “We don’t know that. We don’t know if any of us are yet safe.”

  That raised Adonis’ eyebrows, but he remained silent, waiting for Ares to finish.

  “Let’s say we believe Selena and Jarrod. Let’s say they are telling the truth about Rutherford McGurie and those rings. If they didn’t kill him and plant those rings, then who did? And why?

  “If it was just the matter of the rings I might be able to simply chalk this up as a hoax. But to kill a man and drop him from the sky onto your car is no hoax—it’s a warning, a threat…a message. From whom, and why it was sent, now become our questions to answer.”

  “We cannot trust a word Selena says,” Adonis protested. “Jarrod could have killed McGurie and he may now be coming for us—”

  “I doubt that, or he would have killed me tonight. He had his gun trained on me. He could have easily shot me if he’d wanted.”

  Adonis frowned. His brother was a trained assassin—not easily distracted or bested. That Jarrod had pulled a gun on him and could have shot him told Adonis two things—either Ares was becoming rusty, which he doubted, or his attention had been preoccupied, which worried him. Only something truly disturbing could distract the focus of a man such as his brother.

  “All right, so Jarrod and Selena do not want us dead, and neither does Serena. All the more reason to find Apollo and Eros and warn them.”

  “And leave you alone with her? And her brother on the loose? We still don’t know her true motivations.”

  “You being here will not get us any closer to learning them.” Adonis decided. He could get far more out of Selena if he was not under the careful scrutiny of his older brother. “Besides, you do not have to worry about me. I can handle Selena. And as for her brother… With the added security you’ve seen to, this place is more secure than a prison. Jarrod Gowen cannot get inside and Selena certainly cannot get out.”

  Ares was hesitant. He did not want to leave his brother alone with that viper. Selena was one to be feared. She possessed a duplicitous nature and the charisma of a chameleon. She could change at any moment, and you would trust that new version of her, just as easily as you had trusted the last. In one moment she was a deadly assassin, and yet Adonis had let her inside his home. The next moment, she was the tortured victim of the past, and yet Adonis had let her into his bed. Now she was the vengeful daughter of one of his enemies and still Adonis would not cast her out of his father’s home and wash his hands of her. Instead he’d chained her to his bed, where he would keep her until she gave him the answers he sought. Ares had no doubt the information she provided would turn out to be useful, but at what cost to the soul of his brother?

  Selena would become another version of herself again, and he feared Adonis would let that version of her into his heart where she would have the power to destroy him all over again, but worse this time.

  “I see the look in your eyes, but you must trust me. To remain here, waiting for something to happen, doing nothing until it does, will only frustrate you. Especially when Apollo and Eros could be in danger. There is more to Selena’s plan, I’m sure, and I will uncover it. In the meantime you must find our brothers and warn them.”

  Adonis was right. Ares acknowledged this with the stiff nod of his head. His brothers could be in danger from Serena, Jarrod Gowen, or an enemy who had yet to reveal himself. Apollo and Eros were as well trained as he, but it was hard to stop the enemy one did not see coming—one they thought they were protecting, that they thought they could trust.

  “I see the wisdom of your plan,” Ares said finally. “And I will go, but promise me this…”

  Ares held his younger brother’s stare, his gaze unwavering so that Adonis would grasp the totality of his words.

  “Do not let your guard down with that woman. She is not to be trusted. You see that now. As you deal with her, remember that—as well as the fact that this all began because she threatened to kill you, and there is no evidence to suggest that that is still not her intent. ”

  * * * *

  Ares departed
from Le Siège d'un Dieu an hour later, just before dawn. Their brothers had deliberately set out to disappear and now it was Ares’ duty to find them. If anyone could, it was Ares.

  Long after his brother left, Adonis sat in the living room of his chambers still staring at the door to his bedroom, mulling over his brother’s parting words.

  ‘This all began because she threatened to kill you, and there is no evidence to suggest that that is still not her intent’.

  Just hours ago, he’d made love to her and she’d whispered tender words in his ear, assurances that made him believe two people ravished by their pasts could heal one another.

  He’d been wrong. He’d been a fool.

  He crossed the room on stilted legs and opened the door, stepping quietly into his bedroom. Sunlight was just beginning to stream through the grey windows, delicately illuminating her sleeping figure.

  Still wearing the robe she’d donned earlier, she slept awkwardly, one arm secured to the bed while she was slumped against the headboard. He touched her shoulder and roused her, her sooty black lashes fluttering over deep, round pools of topaz.

  He retreated into the corner of the room while she fully awakened. He stood against the wall, his arms folded across his chest, his body obscured by the space where the sun could not reach.

  It took a few seconds for her to come to, as she sat up straighter, her eyes searching for him in the darkness.

  “I waited a long time for you to come back.” Her voice was raspy, hoarse from sleep. “I guess I finally dozed off.” Her lashes fluttered and she slid her tongue across her lips, until they glistened with moisture. He did not want to notice, he did not want to feel, but the clenching of his belly betrayed him.