Masochist

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Masochist Page 18

by Nadia Aidan


  And a bloody fight is exactly what she got.

  He felt her presence, knew she stood just off to the side of him, that if she reached out she could touch him. So when she did, he should have expected it. What she did not expect, however, was his fury, his undeniable rage.

  “Do not touch me, Selena.”

  She did not heed his warning. Instead, she was emboldened by it as she pressed both palms to his back and began to caress the uneven flesh of his scars.

  “I cannot help but touch you,” she whispered, her heart hammering inside her at her boldness. This was a dangerous game she played with him. He could hurt her if he truly wished to, and, right now, she knew he did. “I cannot help but touch you, Adonis, when you are in pain, when you are hurting. My heart will not allow me to stand here watching you suffer while I do nothing.”

  He tried to pull away from her, but he was trapped between her body and the window pane. He whirled around, nearly throwing her off balance.

  His hand closed around her neck, his grip firm. Real terror shot through her, and for a moment she worried he would do her harm, until something flickered in his eyes and he relaxed his hold on her, though he did not remove his hand.

  “You’re afraid of me,” he said. “Just now, you thought I would kill you. I should kill you.”

  “But you won’t, because you can’t. And we both know why.”

  Dark fury flashed across his face. “I do not love you, Selena!” he shouted. She wondered if he thought yelling it would finally convince him of the soundness of his statement. Or maybe he thought it would convince her. But if he thought he could convince both of them, then he was foolish.

  She should have left him alone.

  She should have remained silent.

  She didn’t… She couldn’t.

  “Denying it will not change it.” Her eyes softened. He looked so lost, so desperate. “Believe me. I know all about trying to deny my love for you.” She touched his hand that still held her neck, lightly teasing her fingers across his flesh. “But it doesn’t work—you know that, just as I do.”

  “Why are you here, Selena?” he gritted out.

  “To kill my father, to have my revenge, but also to take away your pain, to love you enough for the both of us, to love you enough to heal you.”

  If anything, her words only made him angrier. In the span of a heartbeat, he stripped her of her robe and dragged her across the room to push her down atop the bed. She fell face first, her hands splayed across the rumpled sheets.

  She whipped her head around to see him kicking off his pyjamas and then he was atop her, his cock nudging the swells of her ass, his chest to her back.

  “You’re a liar, Selena. You do not love me.”

  “I do.”

  “After what I did to you, you could never love me.”

  She reached around to cup his chin. Her hand barely settled against his face before he flung it away. “It was not your fault,” she said, swallowing her disappointment. “I always knew that.”

  “And yet you used my sense of guilt. You used my shame to manipulate me, knowing how deeply it hurt me to know how I’d hurt you.” She swallowed her remorse at what she’d done, what she’d been forced to do. “That is not love, Selena.”

  “I know,” she whispered brokenly. “But I love you, Adonis. I will hate myself for the rest of my life for doing what I had to do to you, but there was no other way. I had no other choice—”

  “There is always a choice,” he said harshly. “Is that not right, Selena?”

  She couldn’t respond. Her throat was choked with emotion. She’d betrayed him, lied to him, and manipulated him for her own selfish purposes. He was right…that was not love.

  “I love you, Adonis,” she said weakly.

  “You do not know what love is.”

  “Then show me,” she demanded. “Do to my body whatever it is you must and I will take it—I will accept it just to prove to you I love you. Give me your pain, your pleasure, whatever it is you desire, whatever it is you need to believe my love for you is real.”

  “Would you take my cock inside your ass, while I fucked you with a dildo? Would you accept clamps on your nipples, my flogger against your backside? Would you welcome my semen all over your body, anywhere I chose to spurt it?”

  She did not hesitate. “I would suffer every humiliation. I would endure any pain if it will prove to you my feelings are genuine.”

  He scrutinised her. “That is because you’re a perversion of nature—sick and depraved. More so than even me.”

  She gasped in shock, his harsh insult stunning her into silence.

  “I can endure a great deal of pain, Selena, I even enjoy it well enough, but not as much as I enjoy causing pain, and not as much as I enjoy experiencing and giving pleasure. I am a dominant sadist, with masochistic traits. That I enjoy pleasure, both giving and receiving it, just means that, despite my tendencies, I experience desire as most others do. But not you, Selena. You know what I discovered as I tortured your body?”

  He waited as if expecting a response, so finally she shook her head. She did not know what he’d discovered at all.

  “You, Selena, enjoy giving and receiving pleasure, which, like me, means you are capable of normal desire. But that part of you, that part of you that craves pleasure and the need to give it is only a small part of you. The other part of you is what defines the essence of your desires.”

  “And what part is that?” she asked softly, when he did not appear as if he would finish.

  “The part that is wholly masochistic.”

  Masochistic? She was already shaking her head in denial.

  “You are a masochist, Selena, the likes of which I’ve never witnessed before. You are a dominant masochistic, with no sadistic traits. That is why you could not cause me pain when you sodomised me—that is why you demanded I experience pleasure. No part of you is capable of causing another sexual pain. And yet, your pleasure is found in pain. You could exist wholly on sexual pain and your body would find greater satisfaction than if I pleasured you all day.”

  “That is not true,” she vehemently denied. She did not crave pain.

  Yet…she had no experience in things like this. Adonis had been her one and only lover. But if what he said was true then that would make her a—

  “Freak,” Adonis said the word as if he’d read her mind. “A freak, a deviant, a pervert—yes, Selena, you are all of those things.”

  She looked away before he could glimpse the moisture in her eyes. She had no experience in sexual matters and now Adonis, who had unending experience, had told her she was a perversion of nature. It hurt.

  “There is no reason to be cruel just because you don’t want to hear that I love you.”

  “Is that what I’m being? I thought I was being honest…like you.”

  She whirled around to stare at him again. He was mocking her.

  Her gaze bore into him, determined and defiant. “Very well, I am a masochist and I love you. Is that honest enough?”

  His jaw tightened. “You do not love me.”

  “Prove it. Use my body, however you see fit. Do whatever you must to me, but I promise you I will take it all because I love you.”

  “Not because you love me—because you enjoy it, because that is your nature. There is nothing I can do to you that you won’t enjoy.”

  “And does that not make you wonder? Does that not make you question, why you can touch me however you see fit, and I still experience pleasure beneath your touch when for sixteen years I shunned the touch of any other?”

  She knew her words shook him, because he drew back in surprise.

  “I don’t think I’m a masochist at all. I think my body simply craves you, as it always has, as it always will. And we both know why.”

  She was insistent, but Adonis was resolute. His lips thinned.

  “You do not love me, Selena. And I do not love you.”

  She believed nothing from his lips, which
is why his denial did not cause her pain.

  “Then prove it. Your cock is at the gate of my anus, already dripping with cum. If you do not love me then release me and walk away.”

  Their gazes locked, and he began to withdraw, but she reached behind him, her nails digging into the firm muscles of his taut ass.

  Holding him firmly, she reared back, impaling herself on his cock until the head slipped inside.

  They gasped in union, their bodies trembling.

  She pushed his cock deeper inside her as she taunted him, “Walk away from me, Adonis. Leave this bed, the heat of my body, the solace I offer you with my flesh. If you do not love me then stop what I am doing. If you believe that I do not love you, then walk away from me now.”

  His golden gaze smouldered with anger, with desire and desperation.

  He fed her another inch of his cock, one hand gripping her hip, the other draped across her chest, holding her securely. “I hate you.”

  She moaned as he slipped deeper into her. “You love me, as I love you,” she whispered when he was lodged all the way inside her ass. Her hands gripped the bed sheets and her head lolled forward, the pain unbearable, the pleasure even more so.

  He buried his face within the crook of her neck, ploughing inside her on hard, slow strokes, stretching her rectum, forging a path that was as wide as it was deep.

  Her body accepted him—her untried passage that had never been used this way and had not been prepared for the invasion. The pain mingled with pleasure, yet the pleasure overrode the pain. She gasped as heat flared inside her, uncoiling, straining to reach the far corners of her body until every inch of her vibrated with wanton desire, with warmth and need.

  She gasped when she realised what was happening to her.

  Adonis was right. She was right.

  When her body experienced pain, it took it and turned it into pleasure. Maybe she was a masochist, or maybe it was that her body simply recognised Adonis, and this was how it responded to him.

  Maybe it was both.

  She gasped again, this time all pleasure, as he went deeper than he’d ever gone before. He filled her, stretched her, opened her to the full assault of his body.

  “Adonis,” she called his name on a tortured, broken cry.

  “It hurts, doesn’t it?” he whispered against her neck, his breath warming her sweat-slick skin, tickling the sensitive shell of her ear.

  “Yes,” she rasped.

  “And yet you want more.”

  She could not deny it. “Yes.”

  His arm that was draped around her chest slipped lower until his hand was nestled between the lips of her pussy, his fingers stroking the hot tight button of her pleasure.

  “Lay flat against the bed and I shall give you more.”

  She did not hesitate, and a soft, languorous moan rolled out from her, when she flattened against the bed, sending his cock tunnelling even deeper and trapping his hand against her clit.

  Pain shot up her spine as he pummelled her, pounding into her.

  Tremors of pleasure quaked within her belly as he stroked her.

  She buried her face in the pillow, muffling her cries, muting her screams. Her hands clenched the bed until her knuckles turned red.

  Adonis stopped.

  “Lift your head,” he commanded harshly. “I would hear every sound you make.”

  Her head snapped up, and she looked at him from over her shoulder. His eyes blazed with sexual heat and an intensity of need she’d never glimpsed before.

  He loved her. He still hated that he did, but, with his body’s betrayal of his mind, there was no denying it. Even as he refused to say the words, his eyes radiated his deeper emotions so strongly and purely.

  “I love you,” she whispered plainly.

  A small frown slipped across his face. “You love what I do to you, to your body. That is all.”

  “I love you,” she repeated, but his only response was his lips pressing tightly together. He surged into her on a violent thrust, drawing an agonising moan from her lips. She swivelled her head around and clutched the sheets tighter. The pain racking her entire body meant she couldn’t speak for seconds until she could gather her breath. That had been his intent, to silence her, but at least he no longer outright denied her claims.

  His strokes changed then as he rocked inside her, pulling the thick, bulbous head of his cock all the way from her body, only to slam himself fully within her. She reached behind her body, her hand pressing against his hips, her nails digging into his flesh to stop him…to urge him on.

  “You want this, Selena, so take it. Take all of it,” he commanded giving it to her harder than he ever had before.

  His whispered words against her ear ignited the slow churn of heat inside her and wetness pooled from her cunt, staining the bed sheets. He stroked the hard, little bud of her clitoris, pumping and thrusting his shaft into her on deep, hard strokes until she was breathless and shaking.

  Her passage burned and throbbed as he penetrated her, but she did not cry out for him to stop. It was the opposite. The dual sensations of pleasure riding the rough edge of pain unravelled her until she was pulsing and panting beneath him, begging him to fuck her, not to stop.

  “Oh, I won’t stop, Selena. You don’t want me to stop, do you?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “Then give me your ass,” he breathed. “Open wider for me so that I can get even deeper.”

  “I-I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can.” He stopped powering inside her long enough to take her hands and splay them across the cheeks of her ass. He released her hands to grip her shoulder with one hand and to plunge the other back inside her pussy, now stroking her clit furiously, while she kept her hands where he’d placed them and spread herself wide so that she was open fully to him. “That’s it. Take my cock all the way inside you, all the way to the back of your tunnel.”

  This would hurt in the morning…would hurt within minutes after he was done. It hurt now, but she didn’t care. Selena had never felt so full, had never been stretched so completely but she welcomed it, as she took him deeper, all the way inside her.

  His skin slapped against hers, the heavy sac between his legs pressing against her with each thrust. His hand between her thighs rubbed her clit, stroking and pinching it until her pussy poured forth hot, sticky wetness as she cried out in climax and splintered apart beneath him.

  Pleasure stormed through her body, racking her with endless waves of desire. The tremors that powered through her caused her pussy to clench and the dark, tight tunnel of her ass to vibrate with slight tremors. Her muscles squeezing him were his undoing and he cursed in surprise, in mid-thrust as if he hadn’t been expecting to come.

  His curse was lewd, and the hand gripping her shoulder tightened. Adonis held her beneath him, imprisoned by the weight of his body as he pumped his seed inside her. He pulled his ruddy cock from her and continued to spurt, jacking his flesh with one hand as he sprayed her ass with the last of his semen, with the final evidence of his pleasure.

  When he’d wrung every last bit of his release from his flesh, he collapsed beside her, and she stared at him as he stared at the ceiling. He did not want to look at her, nor did he want to admit what had happened between them—his loss of control, his weakness for her…his admission of his love by the very fact that he’d fucked her.

  He would not look at her or admit the truth…and she would not force him.

  She rested her palm across his chest and closed her eyes. When he covered her hand with his, she smiled.

  * * * *

  Adonis awoke the next morning at dawn, surprised that it was the next morning. He’d fallen asleep at dusk and had slept for almost twelve hours. He hadn’t slept that long in… He could not even remember the last time he’d slept more than a few hours.

  A voice whispered in the back of mind, a nagging voice he’d been trying to ignore for days now.

  Selena gives you peace.

&n
bsp; Selena gives you solace.

  Selena gives you love.

  The last statement pierced him at the very depths of his soul. He did not want her peace, her solace, her love. He wanted none of it. But especially not her love. As if he could run away from what brewed inside his head, he tried to shoot up off the bed, a violent curse ripping from his lips to singe the air when he found he couldn’t.

  He stared at his offending arm that would not budge.

  Then he stared across the room, his gaze crashing into to the very object of his thoughts, and the one he knew to be responsible for his current predicament.

  “Release me, Selena.”

  She stepped from the shadows that still clung to the room. Even in the faint light he was still able to notice two things—the firm shake of her head and the knife she held in her hand.

  “You must have been tired. You have been asleep for many hours. You did not even stir when I handcuffed you, or when I slipped from your chambers to borrow a knife from the kitchen.”

  As she spoke, she crossed the room—her footsteps delicate, her naked body on display, framed by the golden haze of the waking sun. She was beautiful—as beautiful as she was dangerous, treacherous…deadly.

  “If Ares is right, then I should have killed you while you were naked, cuffed and asleep.” She trailed the sharp tip of the knife across his bare chest and he sucked in a breath when she nicked one nipple then the other.

  “If Ares is right then I would kill you now.”

  “Go ahead and do it. That is obviously why you’re here—for revenge, for retribution—”

  “But not from you.” She set the knife on the table beside his head.

  “Why are you here, Selena?”

  “To kill my father.”

  When she deigned to answer his question, the one he’d posed over and over again, that was her only response. That and nothing else. She was the equivalent of an automaton, he decided as he fought to squelch his exasperation with her. “Is your father in my bedchambers, then?” he asked dryly, sarcasm being what he always resorted to when he was frustrated, and she’d frustrated him well beyond his endurance.

 

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