Masochist

by Nadia Aidan

  The gun was steady in her hand as she crept forward. She turned a corner, then another until she heard the distinct sound of heavy footsteps. A shadow hovered a distance away from her, and she froze. Whoever created the silhouette against the stone walls did not see her and the shadow flickered then disappeared, leaving Selena to wonder if the shadow had belonged to Cassius, who was presumably still searching for her. Or was the owner someone else? She eased forward slowly, searching, listening, but the only sounds she heard were the ones she made.

  She turned another corner, steadily making her way to her ultimate destination, yet when she barrelled into a solid, immovable object she knew her journey had come to an end. A hand clamped around her arm and an ear-splintering scream flew from her lips. She dropped her gun in the commotion, though she did not realise it at first. Selena was still screaming when a light flickered on, illuminating the person who held her. Her screams died in her throat.

  “Cassius?”

  He looked furious and he did not say a word as he dragged her through the dark maze until they were once again in Rosalina’s study. With one hand still clamped around her arm, he slammed the bookcase firmly until the lever locked into place with a deafening click.

  What came after was no surprise. She was dragged unceremoniously back to the other side of the estate and deposited in Adonis’ chambers without another word from Cassius.

  “Will you tell Adonis?”

  Her question was met with the door slamming in her face.

  She imagined that would be the first thing he did—relaying to Adonis the details of her little adventure. Which meant any future tours of the estate were out of the question. And she doubted Cassius would be inclined to speak to her again. After all, he’d been forewarned. She was ‘manipulative and not to be trusted’…her escapade had proven that.

  Selena flopped down on the bed and waited for the storm that would come when Adonis returned home. She was less concerned about Adonis’ reaction, however. She was more furious with herself than anything else. She’d wasted an ideal opportunity. Adonis would trust her even less now, and he certainly would not let her out of his sight again.

  She cursed herself as she began to sift through her remaining options. It was unlikely she would get another chance like the one she’d just had, which left her with only one viable option that was as dangerous as it was foolish. She’d hoped it would not come to that, but she had no other choice.

  She’d been wrong when she’d told Adonis there was always a choice.

  Sometimes there wasn’t. Sometimes there was only one path to choose.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Getting shot at would be a bad day for anyone. Adonis could not have imagined a day such as his could get any worse, but then he returned to his father’s home that afternoon to discover he was mistaken.

  Upon returning, the first thing he did was investigate his father’s safe, only to find that the ring that he’d watched Ares place inside the safe after they’d buried Dieu was gone. Ares was still not answering his phone, which meant that Adonis could not inform him of what he’d learned about the authenticity of the rings, nor could he find out if Ares had taken Dieu’s from his safe. He was fairly certain Ares had not removed it, because that was something none of his brothers would do without informing one another. Which meant someone besides them had taken it—someone who knew the code to the safe and knew the intricacies of his father’s estate. Adonis had thought only his father and his brothers would be privy to such information, but he was starting to suspect there was another.

  He slammed the door to his bedroom, an almost malicious smile curling his lips when Selena shot up from the bed, her eyes wide. She stared at him in surprise, which soon gave way to comprehension when she glimpsed the expression upon his face.

  “You spoke with Cassius,” she said, and he was happy to see she did not resort to pretence. They were well past that point.

  “I did.”

  “I know how this must look but I assure you it is not as it appears.”

  One brow quirked. “And how do you think it appears to me?”

  “As it has always appeared—that I am lying, that I cannot be trusted.”

  “Well, are you lying? Can you be trusted?”

  The look she shot him sent chills down his spine it was so intense. “No matter what you think, I would never do anything to harm you—to put you or your brothers in danger. I admit that I have been less than truthful, but you can trust that I would die before I ever caused harm to come to you.”

  Her words as well as the conviction behind them surprised him, but he was not moved. “You set fire to my hotel, then to my home. I could have been killed saving you.” His gaze slammed into her. “You have already harmed me, Selena.”

  She could not argue that and so she didn’t. She looked away, unable to bear the weight of his stare.

  “Why were you in the hidden passageway this afternoon?”

  She looked at him. “I cannot answer that,” she said quietly.

  Maybe it was the events of the day, or the events of the entire week that weighed upon him, but in that moment he snapped.

  He instantly plucked her from the bed and held her by her arms, her feet dangling in the air.

  “Tell me what you know, Selena!” He shook her. “Tell me why you’re here!” Adonis shouted, his face within inches of hers. When she did not speak, when she simply stared down at him with rounded eyes, his anger redoubled. “I was shot at today and something has been stolen from my father’s safe. If I find out you or your brother had anything to do with any of it, I will kill you both myself.”

  He released her then, setting her away from him as if she disgusted him. And in that moment she did.

  She had dragged him into this game of deceit and intrigue that she was intent upon playing and he was tired of it. Whether she’d had anything to do with the shooting did not matter. If she could not trust him with her secrets, then he could not trust her and, because of that, she was dangerous to him. Tomorrow he would have Cassius remove her from his father’s home.

  No one was after her as he’d first believed. She was not in danger. She’d never been. The only reason why he’d allowed her to stay this long, and against the strong wishes of Ares, was because he’d arrogantly believed he could break her, that he could wring the truth from her. And when he couldn’t force it from her, he’d believed she would trust him enough to simply tell him the truth. But he hadn’t broken her, and she would never volunteer the information he sought. He accepted that now, just as he was forced to accept that he could not allow her to continue to prey upon his sense of guilt and manipulate him further, to use him any more than she already had.

  Adonis turned away from her and moved to leave.

  “I obtained the architectural plans to this estate. That is how I know of all the hidden passageways. When you found me the other night looking at Rosalina’s portrait, I was actually looking for one of the entrances.”

  He stopped, his back facing her, but he did not turn around nor did he speak.

  “I know nothing about a safe and I have stolen nothing from you. That is the truth. Just as you know deep down I would never ever shoot at you, nor would I have anyone do such a thing. Jarrod simply wants the inheritance he believes my father owes him, and I simply want Woodward dead. Shooting you, hurting you, or stealing from you is not a part of our plan.”

  He whipped around to face her, his eyes glittering with anger. “And what is part of your plan?”

  When she bore down on her bottom lip with her teeth, he gathered she would not tell him anything different from what she already had. It was all just as well. Tomorrow he would send her away and he would be rid of her and all of her lies. She could keep all the secrets she wanted then.

  He started to leave again, only to be frozen in place by her next words.

  “I believe your father’s home holds a clue to the whereabouts of Woodward and the reason behind his disappearance.�
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  He faced her in puzzlement. “That makes no sense. Why would you believe such a thing?”

  She eased her way towards him. “When it comes to your father and mine, there are no coincidences. I believe we established that with the portrait of your mother. It is no coincidence that your father died around the same time Woodward disappeared. It is no coincidence that our mothers share similar names, identical appearances.”

  He shook his head. “I agree there are no coincidences. But what does any of that have to do with the connection between your father’s disappearance and this house?”

  “By themselves nothing, but, given the special relationship our fathers shared, I became convinced Dieu’s death prompted Woodward’s disappearance and that this house holds the answers to where he has gone and why.”

  The circumstances of Dieu’s death did not trouble him. He knew for a certainty Woodward had nothing to do with his father’s death. Adonis’ eyes narrowed. It was her other statement that sparked his unease.

  “What special relationship are you referring to?”

  “Come now, Adonis. You do not have to protect me any longer. I know they engaged in business dealings together, but, more than that, I know they were also lovers. ”

  His eyes rounded. “How did you—?”

  “Find out?” She shrugged. “When I was fourteen, I overheard them arguing. It was a lover’s quarrel. I knew. Just as I’m sure my mother did as well. It was some years later when I finally told Serena.”

  Her eyes softened as she studied him, a gentle smile curving her lips. “That was why you didn’t want me poking around. You were afraid of what I would discover.”

  He nodded. He was afraid of the many things she could uncover within these walls, and that was certainly one of them.

  “Do not worry about the other secrets within this house,” she said as if reading his mind like an open book. “I did not come here for secrets. I came here to find a clue as to Woodward’s whereabouts, but thus far I have found nothing.”

  “And I doubt you ever will. Secrets are what my father’s home is best at keeping, secrets that could destroy many lives. But useful information it has never seemed to produce.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe you are right. Maybe you are not.”

  “Unfortunately, you will never know.” Her eyebrows arched at his statement. “I have asked Cassius to take you home tomorrow,” he said in answer to her puzzled frown.

  She seemed to want to argue, but she simply nodded, saying only, “I see.”

  “It is for the best.” Adonis did not know why he felt compelled to explain himself, but the expression on her face seemed to warrant it. If he did not know any better, he would think he’d hurt her, but he knew better.

  This time when he turned away from her, he left his room. Selena had her own agenda, and he had his. It was safer for the both of them if they simply parted ways. It was for the best…or at least he would keep telling himself that until he believed it.

  * * * *

  Selena would never have imagined the loss of Adonis again would feel this way. She’d never imagined her father would have the power to come between them yet again, but the absence of Adonis from her bed had made her night sleepless, the sheets cold.

  He had slept in the sitting room, on the couch, so that he would not be forced to sleep beside her, so that he could not be seduced by her and tempted to touch her. She knew well the inner musings of the man who now dressed in the other room. She knew the inner workings of Adonis probably better than she knew her own.

  Within the hour, Cassius would come for her and take her home.

  Home—wherever that was. She no longer had a home. She could not return to the convent. She supposed she would have to stay with Jarrod, but the house he lived in was her father’s, and that space dredged up memories she’d prefer to leave buried in the past. Maybe when she left she would simply stay at a hotel. She did not know.

  What she did know was that Adonis was kicking her out and sending her away. He believed her a liar, unworthy of his trust, and so she could not remain in his presence any longer.

  Selena had failed. She had not found the information she’d sought. She was no closer to discovering Woodward’s whereabouts than she had been a week ago, a month ago, a year ago.

  She had failed.

  She looked up when Adonis walked in dressed for the day. She’d failed him too. For a brief moment, a stolen moment, they had rediscovered what it was like to love again. Had she closed her eyes and allowed herself to dream, she could have almost imagined there were still enough feelings between them, enough passion there between them that they could somehow escape their pasts and love each other again. Selena knew such a thing was an impossibility. Too much time had passed, too many lies had been told. They were two very different people now. She was not the girl she’d once been, the girl he’d once loved. There was no denying the passion they still shared, the emotions that burned inside them, but their lives had taken them too far apart.

  “Cassius will be here to escort you home within an hour.”

  She nodded. “And will you be here then?”

  “No. I have an errand to run.”

  “I see.”

  He hovered in the doorway, and she stood there entranced by his golden gaze.

  It was obvious they both wanted to say more, but they were either too stubborn or too afraid to part their lips. In the end they both said nothing, except goodbye.

  “Thank you for offering your protection and allowing me to stay here,” Selena added when Adonis turned away.

  He stopped to look at her. “You’re welcome.” With that he left the bedroom, and there was only the sound of the door to his outer chambers closing.

  Adonis walked out of his childhood bedroom, then out of his father’s home. He got into his car and sped away from Dieu’s estate as if the devil himself tailed him. He drove as fast as he could, and, if it had been in his power to do so, he would have put as much distance between himself and the woman whose face had haunted him for sixteen years.

  Selena.

  There was no denying that he still loved her, still wanted her, but she was not the woman he’d once known. She was not the woman he’d fallen in love with. And yet, his heart did not seem to care. Adonis did not wish for her to go, just as he did not wish to send her away. But it was foolish to pretend they had a future together. For a few stolen moments, he’d believed they could put their pasts to rest, but that had been the musings of a foolish man.

  Even if she had not lied to him and betrayed him, even if he could trust her—he could not ignore the time that had separated them. Their lives had taken them too far apart. She had changed. And he was not the man he’d once been—he was worse. Time had hardened him, had irrevocably changed him. He’d been damaged then destroyed in those years. He no longer possessed the power to love another intimately, to trust them with his heart.

  He’d resigned himself to such a fate long ago, and he’d been foolish to think he could ever experience happiness again. Such things were no longer possible for a man who’d seen what he’d seen, who’d done what he’d done. Love and happiness did not belong in the life of a man such as he.

  Adonis pulled his car to a stop along the sidewalk and piled out of his vehicle. Ares had sent him a note by messenger, letting him know a package awaited him at the depot. The note had not told him what was inside, and Ares was still not answering his phone. He imagined Ares could no longer use his phone for fear of being tracked, so Adonis suspected the package would provide a clue as to where his brother was, where all of them were. Or at least that is what Adonis hoped.

  He was still uneasy from yesterday’s shooting, and that he had lost contact with his brothers did not improve his feelings of disquiet.

  The depot was a small, nondescript building on the fringes of the border between his district and Ares’. He pushed open the door to find the place empty, which was usually the case. With the courier service, people
only sent packages to the depot that were either too large for the courier or when one wanted such a transaction to remain discreet. The depot was known to be lax in verifying the identities of either the sender or receiver. As long as the transaction was paid for, the staff did not care. Such was the reason why the owner barely glanced at Adonis after he handed the man his tracking number and in turn was given a small brown package the size of a shoe box.

  Adonis studied the package in his hand as he returned to his car. There was no address from the sender, no name either. He opened the trunk of his car and placed it inside. He would open the package when he returned home, and, coward that he was, he would only return home once Selena was gone.

  Adonis glanced at his watch. He still had a little over half an hour. He continued down the sidewalk, his eyes alert. Still wary from yesterday, he did not think it wise to remain out in the open where so many strangers milled about. So he made his way into a nearby cafe where he ordered a cup of coffee before taking a seat at a table facing the door.

  Twenty minutes later, he was still seated at that same table when he heard what could only be described as a rumble of thunder, followed by a wave of flames and fire. The explosion shook every building on the street, setting off several car alarms. Adonis was out of his chair and standing on the sidewalk within an instant.

  The entire street was immersed in complete chaos as people shouted all around him, and debris floated in the air. Adonis was immune to it all as he stared down the sidewalk into the distance. What he saw made his blood run cold as his heart sputtered to a halt within his chest.

  His sleek silver car, which had been parked on the corner at the other end of the street, was gone. In its place was a hollow, charred skeleton of a vehicle with flames still dancing all over it.

  * * * *

  Selena had come to Adonis with nothing, and so she had nothing to pack, nothing to take with her when she left.