“Anything from your mum?” I didn’t look at Booth when I asked that question. The poor bastard had been through the emotional ringer since I told him what Rogue had said to me on the phone that night I took off to Memphis. Booth was struggling with the ‘smack in the face’ fact that the man he thought was his father actually wasn’t. The man whose name he carried, who raised him, was the man who wanted our women and us all dead. I couldn’t imagine what my pres was feeling about it.
“She has no idea. When he left her after Carson’s funeral, she saw him only one time, and that was the day after I beat the living crap out of him,” he said with a smug grin.
I was there that day. Jerry had confronted him and spewed shit about Carson’s blood being on Booth’s hands. Fuck it was! That whole day had been one big clusterfuck, and no one was to blame except for the decision makers, the ones who weren’t even in the same country as we were, giving us fucked-up commands even though we were low on ammo, low on manpower, and so fucking tired from being awake for so long. Those were the ones with blood on their hands, not Booth.
“Did she say anything about him not being your biological dad?”
Booth shook his head, the wall he’d smashed down with the help of Stella’s love making a brief appearance.
“Not yet. She wanted to tell me, but I ain’t ready to hear that yet. Stella knows, Mum told her, and when I’m ready, Stella will tell me.” He looked off across the room at the love of his life. He was haunted by what happened to her at the hands of Jerry. Not that I blamed Booth, the fucking arsehole Rogue had killed Lila Rose, taking her and my child from me.
“I can’t bring him to justice the right way, the lawful way, the Wounded Souls’ way when I feel so much hatred for the prick. If I hear any more about him or learn more about the shit he has pulled, I will kill him, Creed. I will rip his heart out my fucking bare hands,” he said in an anguished voice, and I got it. We fought a war, killed many people for our country with the blessing of our commander and chief. We did what needed to be done as soldiers. It was enough, and I couldn’t face killing another human being for any reason, or so I thought, but now there was a gut-wrenching need for revenge for what he did to Lila Rose, Dundee, and now Vegas. I understood that Booth was struggling with his inner demons to do the right thing by handing Rogue over to the authorities when we eventually found him.
We had the resources and the ability to take him somewhere off the grid and kill him ourselves, rid the world of his memory, and give the women of the club some peace of mind that the prick who had harassed and targeted them was dead and buried, never to hurt them ever again.
“We started this club with one main objective in mind. Keep the brotherhood and the values we believe in. I struggle with my position in all this. I brought this on the club just because of who he is and why he is doing it. Creed, I don’t want to kill anyone, but, brother, I will if I have to.” A cold shiver ran straight through me as Booth spoke.
Memories flooded me for a minute. Memories of what my CO was capable of, how swiftly he could take out the enemy. Booth was expertly trained in hand-to-hand combat, and I had seen him kill, witnessed his skills firsthand. I had the same skill set as Booth, and we trained together, knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Booth didn’t have many weaknesses. The only one I knew of was his compassion and giving the benefit of the doubt until there was no doubt left. However, Booth had no compassion for Rogue or Callie. Killing Rogue was not the way Booth wanted to go, but he would. That much I knew.
“We all have your back, brother. Loyalty, honour, respect.” I quoted the three words we lived by as soldiers and now as club brothers.
Loud laughter caught my attention. I looked over and saw Memphis tickling Shiloh, who was now sitting on my wife’s knee. She was so perfect for this life, with the flock and with me.
Panic started to set in as the images of Memphis and me together as a couple and as parents entered my mind. I wanted to be a father, and one time, I got close. The panic was not about making love to Memphis because I was actually looking forward to it. This morning proved I was sexually and physically attracted to my wife—fuck, she got me so hard, so hot for her. No, my panic was fear—heart-stopping fear of losing everything again.
Screwing the lid on my thermal coffee cup, I gave Booth a slap on the back. “See ya later, mate. Stay alert,” I said as I passed by him. I had a big day ahead, and half of it was with Shiloh, who was easy to have around, and since she was so used to it already, she never complained. As long as she had her portable DVD player, Zeke, and her colouring paraphernalia, she was good to go for hours.
“Hey, Angel, I have to go to the bike shop for a few hours. Will you be okay here until I get back?” I said, moving up behind Memphis and placing my hands on her shoulders.
Her head tipped back, and she looked up at me, the smile on her face making me want to smile, too. Damn, I had stopped smiling long ago. I wasn’t sure I was capable of it anymore.
“Yeah, baby, I will be fine. The girls are going to help me unpack all those boxes I made you haul here for me. Maybe, when you get home, you can take me on a tour of the compound?”
The hope in her voice pulled at my heart. I was supposed to do that yesterday after the funeral. Unfortunately, with her small accident and my cowardice, we didn’t get to it. She deserved more from me, more effort to make us work, and I did want that.
With a new resolve, I leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the forehead. I wanted to kiss her soft lips again but not with the audience that was openly watching us.
“Count on it, Angel. When I get back, I’m all yours,” I promised. Then, with one last press of my lips to the top of her head, I let her go. I smiled inwardly at how easily she had slipped into calling me baby. It was nice, really fucking nice.
“Squirt, grab your bag. It’s time to go,” I said to Shiloh, who scrambled down from Memphis’s lap and nearly toppled over. I held my breath as she righted herself. Damn, that kid was a walking hurricane.
“Righto, Maverick. I is ready,” she said to me, making me grunt with humour.
A few weeks ago, Darth had put Top Gun on for her to watch. She decided Tom Cruise’s character looked like me because the aviator sunglasses he wore were like mine. Shiloh, in her youthful wisdom, had also pointed out that Maverick smiled, and I didn’t.
I’m working on it, Squirt, I’m working on it.
“Sees ya later, cowgirl,” Shiloh said in a singsong voice with a wave to Memphis.
Memphis laughed. “Bye, Shiloh. Have a good day with Uncle Creed.”
Shiloh took my hand and pulled me down so I was level with her serious face.
“It’s a bloody bugger she ain’t going to see you smile one day. Makes me sad, Unca Creed.”
I swallowed the lump that started to form in my throat. Leave it to a four-year-old to understand when we didn’t think she would. She hit the nail on the head with that one innocent comment.
“Yeah, baby girl, it really is,” I agreed, then stood up, took her hand in one hand and her bag in the other, and we walked out towards the car park. Suddenly, I was in a hurry to get my work done. I had a date with my wife later.
Chapter 13
MEMPHIS
“Memphis, I put all your underwear and socks in the top drawer and used the divider so you will be able to find your socks easily,” Mia said to me.
Mia, Stella, and Rainn had offered to help me with the unpacking. Charlotte was helping, but she suffered a bad bout of morning sickness and had to take a break. The poor lady was really suffering from her pregnancy, and even though she was in her second trimester, according to her, the sickness wasn’t easing up.
“Thank you, Mia. I really appreciate your help, all of you. I am so used to my own home and where everything is. Moving here is really testing my skills.”
“It’s our pleasure, hon. The men don’t let us do much anymore, so this is quite a treat,” Rainn said with a laugh.
This is a trea
t? Damn, Creed’s brothers really must be over-protective.
I counted how many steps it took me to get from the dressing table to the bed. Nine steps. The room was pretty big, which surprised me. My room at the house was smaller than this one. Creed and Lila had moved me into what we used as the study before I went completely blind. Creed thought it would be easier for me in a smaller room, and if I moved in while I could still see a bit, I could get the outlay of the room in my mind. Moving to a room I had never seen was a bit more of a challenge.
“I’m glad for the help. Creed hasn’t had much time for a detailed walk-through yet.” It was embarrassing to admit that Creed had kind of left me to fend for myself. I wasn’t ungrateful or expecting to be his only priority, but he did know what a chore it was for me to learn a new place. I just figured he would be the one to unpack my socks into the dividers.
Good grief, Memphis. You sound like a petulant child who isn’t getting her own way.
The sensible part of me knew he had other work to do and was on edge with the danger. The other side of me was a bit miffed that I hadn’t had sex this morning. It started out very promising, and really, if I were honest, I was thrilled to bits with what Creed admitted to me about wanting me. Patience was usually my best quality. Being blind and dependant on help from others kind of made one that way. I was used to waiting for a leak to be fixed or a box to be moved, but waiting for my first orgasm? I was impatient.
“So how are things going for you as a married woman? I don’t mind telling you that hunk you are married to is one hell of a catch.” Rainn asked the one question I hoped would not be asked.
How did I tell them that my husband slept next to me and that was it? I bit my lip and contemplated how to answer.
“Well, considering my first day I made a spectacle of myself, embarrassed Creed, forced him to tell his brothers about our marriage and the conditions that came with it, then he got drunk and didn’t come to bed until I had already fallen asleep, I would have to say things could be better.” I went with honesty. Friendships were better with complete honesty.
“Oh, sweetie, he wasn’t embarrassed. He was concerned for you and mad at himself for leaving you alone and not telling anyone about your blindness. If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be Creed,” Rainn disagreed, jumping to my defence.
“Rainn is right, Memphis. Creed has always kept his personal life close to his chest, but in this instance, he should have been more forthcoming with some details. If we’d been told you were blind, we would have had you and Apollo positioned better,” Mia said gently.
At the mention of his name, Apollo’s tail started thumping on the carpet. My darling dog was such an attention seeker.
“It doesn’t matter now. We talked this morning, and he apologised and explained a few things to me. As for being married, we are taking things slow,” I told them, then wished I could take the words back. Never being in a relationship before, I wasn’t sure how much I should share, and Creed was very private, always had been. I was sure he would not be happy hearing me talk about what happened between us as a couple. Would he?
“Wait… he went to sleep?” Rainn practically yelled the question.
Even though I couldn’t see a bloody thing, I looked around the room, anyway.
“Um, yes?” I answered, but it came out more like a question. I could feel my cheeks starting to heat. Creed had warned me Rainn was the interrogator of the flock, and I was about to experience my first interrogation.
“You didn’t consummate your vows?” Mia asked, shocked.
The pretty brunette was married to Steel, who was the first of the Souls men I’d met before coming to the compound. By the way he spoke about his wife and the gentle tone he used every time he mentioned her name, I got the feeling she was very loved, very wanted. I didn’t know much about Mia. Creed spoke of the other ladies quite a bit, but Mia was one he didn’t talk of often when telling me stories of the club.
“Um, no.” Okay, so it seemed I was only capable of two-word answers.
“What do you mean you are taking it slow? Don’t you want to have sex?” That question came from Stella. Last night, she had fed me copious amounts of sugary goodness before being collected by her husband. Mia and Rainn had also left at the same time with their husbands, which left Charlotte, Deck, and me sitting in the kitchen. I liked Charlotte. She had a sweet softness about her, and she too had an over-protective, loving husband. Deck had been very sweet about helping me to my room, giving me a quick run-down of the room as well as a little pep talk and some insight into the workings of my husband’s mind.
“Of course, I want sex. I am looking forward to it, actually. I have heard great things about it.”
“You’re a virgin?” Again, Rainn yelled the question, causing the other ladies to shush her.
“Rainn, please stop yelling at Memphis,” Stella admonished.
There was a long moment of silence to which I could only imagine what was happening between the three ladies.
“Well, sort of, you know kinda.” Oh God, Memphis. Please shut up. Shut up now.
“Okay, now I’m with Rainn, how can you sort of be a virgin?” Mia asked, now so intrigued that all sense of being polite went out the window.
The heat in my cheeks was now a full-blown fire. This was why I lived alone with only Apollo to talk to, and with Creed visiting only once a month or so. Then I didn’t have many chances to put my foot in my mouth.
I sighed loudly, the embarrassing story about to come out. “Well, when I was nineteen, there was a guy I grew up with. We didn’t go to school together because I was home-schooled, but his parents knew my parents. He was the shy type, and we got along well because I was the odd girl out in the town. We decided that we would be each other’s firsts. It was the worst experience of my life, actually.”
“Why?” Mia asked immediately.
I was too far gone now in my recollection, so I forged ahead. The story was a humiliating one and not one I ever planned to share.
“Well, he was in a bit of a hurry, I suppose. He didn’t take all my clothes off, just my skirt and panties, and he never kissed me, he just got on top of me and sort of pressed his, you know, his thing to my entrance. I felt a little pressure, then he grunted, and that was it. He came before he could get it all the way in me,”
I whispered the last few words of my terrible memories of that night. Derek hadn’t been concerned with my pleasure one little bit. The next day, he had gone around the town telling everyone I was a shitty lay. After a few weeks of being the butt of jokes, it died down, but it stayed with me, and I never bothered with sex again. Instead, I chose to write about it, my imagination on the subject much more appealing than my limited experience.
“No way! So he didn’t get all the way in, hey,” Rainn surmised rightly.
“Exactly. Now, can we talk about something else, please,” I begged, desperately wanting a change in subject.
“What is in that big box over there?” Mia asked suddenly.
I made a face that said ‘Sure, I know exactly what box you are talking about.’
Giggles exploded from all three women, and I joined in. It was nice laughing with other people, especially other women. Lila and I had a great relationship, and I missed laughing with her.
“Sorry, Memphis, I will get better at this, I promise. There is a box marked ‘Braille,’” Mia told me.
I smiled big and clapped my hands. I had never gone more than a day without writing, and I was chomping at the bit to get back into my latest story.
“That’s my Braille translator.”
“It’s a what now?”
I laughed at Stella. “It’s a typewriter for the blind. I write a bit,” I offered evasively. I wrote under a pen name so I could remain anonymous. No one knew I was Willow Rose, author of ten romance novels. Not even Creed knew, and I told him everything, except for this. This was my secret just for me—
“Oh, my God. You’re Willow Rose!” Rainn y
elled yet again. The woman was a yeller, which I was quickly realising, and now she had yelled out my most treasured and once well-kept secret.
Shit, bugger, crap.
“How? How on earth did you figure that out? Do you read Braille?” I spluttered, totally confounded how she could have worked that out just from my Braille translator.
“No, but I do read English, and the box is full of copies of your novels.”
Oh, thank you very much, Colleen. I groaned as my head dropped into my hands. I totally forgot my editor had, for reasons only she understood, sent me printed versions of my books. It wasn’t like I could read them or see the cover, but every time I received a copy, I tucked it away in my office. I guess Seb packed them with the rest of my office stuff.
“Aren’t these the books Charlotte is obsessed with?” I took a guess that it was Rainn Stella was asking.
I could hear a noise like someone was flipping through pages. Oh, God, which book were they looking at? Please, God, don’t let it be—
“Ooh, Hot Blooded Lover. Charlotte went on and on about this one.”
Thank you, God, so bloody much.
“Is it based on anyone you know?” Mia asked.
“Charlotte said the sex scenes are hot as fuck,” Stella said excitedly. I imagined her fanning her face with her hand.
“How does a virgin write erotic novels?” Rainn yelled.
The questions were fired at me one after the other, giving me no time to answer, not that I thought for a second they wanted an answer. When the flock got going, they were ravenous—that much I had gathered in the short time I had been at the compound.
After a few more asinine questions, I’d had enough. I mean, come on, how do you know what a shaft looks like?
Really, Rainn?
I put two fingers in my mouth and let out an ear-piercing whistle. Creed had taught me when I was ten, saying it was a necessary tool for every woman to know, and he was right.
His Angel: The Wounded Souls Series Page 8