by Walker, Nina
My stomach rumbled at the mention of food, but it looked like I’d be eating my lunch alone. Not unusual for me, anyway.
“Now that you mention it, I am pretty hungry.” Jessa smiled at Reed.
I wondered if I should go with them. I needed to keep an eye on her. What if she said something to Reed about his blood? I stopped myself. I had to trust she’d keep quiet. For now, anyway.
I noticed Jessa was staring at something behind me. I turned to look. Sasha. I was relieved to see her. Yes, she was fun to flirt with. But beyond that, we had important work to do together.
“What?” Reed asked when Jessa failed to follow him.
“Do you think Sasha would want to eat with us?” Jessa asked.
I decided to stop them right there. I didn’t like the way the three of them had been so cozy last night. Sasha and Reed were on opposite sides, even if he didn’t know it.
“Actually,” I said, “why don’t you two go ahead? I’ve been wanting to have some alone time with Sasha, anyway.”
I walked away before they could stop me, before I could let Jessa’s startled reaction register in my heart, and went over to Sasha. I steered her away from the nearest group of people. We walked silently until I was positive we were out of earshot. But I decided it would still be best to whisper. I knew Reed wasn’t listening in right now, since he was talking with Jessa. But could there be others with his ability? I didn’t know.
“Jessa did it,” I said.
“This isn’t the safest place to talk about Jessa,” Sasha replied casually.
“Haven’t you ever heard of hiding in plain sight? We’re supposed to be dating, correct?”
“Fine,” Sasha said, glancing around her. “What happened?”
“Well, I did a little test.” We both turned to watch Jessa and Reed. They had plates of food and were headed to sit under a far-off tree. Jessa laughed at something Reed said. I couldn’t seem to look away.
“You were saying…” Sasha said.
“What?”
She sighed. “Oh Lucas, it’s so obvious you have a crush on her. Why won’t you take my advice? Get over it. She’s an asset. You can’t let your feelings cloud your judgment of her.”
“I know that. I’m confused why she’s spending so much time with a guy like Reed. Do you think she trusts him?”
“I know why. He’s cute and fun. Oh, and he’s nice to her. All the other guardians her age have been rude. All of them. They’re friends, Lucas. Get over it already.”
“But he’s working for Faulk,”
“Don’t worry about Faulk just yet. Jessa isn’t an idiot. You were saying? Jessa did something. Did what?”
I carefully explained to her about our morning in the greenhouse. About what had happened with the knife and how when Jessa had touched Reed’s blood, she accidentally used alchemy on the red.
“There’s something you need to know about red,” Sasha said. “We do know what it does. Red itself is a power color. But red blood? Manipulating that controls people, Lucas. It can literally be used for mind control. No matter what happens, Jessa cannot get into Richard’s hands. We may have to get her out of here.”
“Why would you not tell me this! How can you be sure?”
“Look, she isn’t the first to use red, okay? There have been others.”
“Does my father know this?”
Her gaze held mine, unwavering. “Of course he does.”
“So what do we do?”
“Do you think she’ll listen to you? Keep it secret? I could warn her.”
“No. Don’t get involved. Just keep being her friend so she has someone else to hang with, besides Reed. We need to see how this plays out. I don’t want to jump the gun and alert anyone to what’s happened before we figure out what to do with her.”
“Maybe. But you need to keep me informed of how this develops so I can report back to my handler.”
“Your handler? What, like your boss? I need to talk to them.”
“You will. In time,” she said, smiling faintly.
“How long am I expected to keep this up? I need more from you guys.”
“We know. And you’ll get more soon. I promise.”
That had to satisfy me for now.
“If you report to your handler and I report to you, does that mean you’re my handler?” I asked, unable to keep myself from teasing her.
“Something like that,” Sasha played back. Then she put her hand around my neck and pulled me in for a passionate kiss. I didn’t know if it was for show or for real, but I didn’t care. Suddenly, I felt a whole lot better, even if it only lasted for a minute.
The next few weeks, we spent training time concentrating on practicing with the alchemy of green. It was one of the most valuable colors, since healing was such a powerful and useful ability.
I had to report to Richard every few days about Jessa’s progress. I could tell he wanted me to push the other colors, but I was able to convince him to train her like everyone else...just in a more accelerated fashion. We’d get to the red when she was ready. That’s what he believed. His impatience was becoming obvious, and I didn’t know how much longer I could hold off. Eventually, we’d have to try something with the red. For now, we pretended it didn’t exist. I was too afraid that she’d reveal herself in front of Reed or Jasmine, and it would all be over.
I kept waiting for Jessa to say something about her experience with Reed’s blood. But she didn’t. I knew she missed her family desperately. And she probably couldn’t last forever with this secret. Every once in a while, I saw it in her eyes. The questions.
After an afternoon of practicing with plants, Jessa asked Reed to go ahead without her. That was surprising, considering the amount of time they’d been spending together lately. Everyone wondered if they were dating, myself included. But Sasha didn’t think so. She’d become closer to Jessa too.
Reed raised his eyebrow at her request, but didn’t ask questions.
“Perfect,” Jasmine said. “I need someone to help me categorize some plants in my office. Would you be so kind as to lend me an hour of your time?”
Reed shrugged and followed her out. That left us alone in the greenhouse and away from listening ears. The afternoon heat pressed in, making the large space feel smaller than it was.
“Can we talk?” Jessa asked.
“Not sure what there is to talk about.” I picked up the potted plant and headed toward the back of the room.
The heat in here was distracting. That was why we’d been taking frequent breaks from training Jessa with green alchemy. With the heat, we had to dress lightly. She was wearing jean shorts and a tank top. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. Dark tendrils stuck to her glistening neck and forehead. She looked amazing—casual and effortlessly beautiful.
Carrying the plant, I made my way through the shrubbery to return it to its proper place. Jessa noisily followed before leaning against the edge of the nearest table, her head tilted. “Have you forgotten our conversation from a couple of weeks ago?”
So here it was. This had been a long time coming.
“Oh, that.” I turned, pretending to study the plants surrounding us. “There’s nothing I can tell you, Jessa, you’re just going to have to trust me.”
“Why do you have to act like it’s nothing?” she asked, frustrated.
The truth was if I told her about her power, about red, I was afraid of how she’d handle it. I was pretty sure she would try to bolt. If she knew just how much danger she was in, how close she was to becoming Richard’s pawn, what would she do? I wanted to have a solution for her. A way out. Something before I dropped this bomb on her.
“I wish I had an answer for you.”
“Well, me too, because I’d like to talk to my family. You know? The people who raised me? The ones I haven’t spoken with in, I don’t know, three weeks? You know the deal I made with Faulk.”
“I wish I could help you, but I can’t. I promise I’m working on i
t.”
“You could talk to Faulk. Or better yet, your father,” she said, crossing her arms. She wasn’t going to make this easy for me.
“That’s not an option.”
She obviously didn’t understand the nature of my relationship with Richard. He was not the sort of man you could talk to about your problems. Not to mention—what did he care about Jessa’s family, anyway? All that mattered was getting what he wanted. He talked, and people listened. He ordered. They obeyed. He wanted to make sure Jessa unlocked the mysteries of red. Once he found out, he would never let her go. She would become his tool, bending to his every will. Now that I knew why exactly he wanted red, I could only assume what he would do with that. The ability to control someone’s mind? He would be unstoppable.
“You won’t even give me a good explanation.”
I held my ground. I needed to find a solution first. If I told her the truth right now, it would scare her too much.
“Fine, then you can forget about me keeping Reed’s blood a secret. I’m telling Faulk. She’ll believe me, you know. I did that blood thing once before.”
She’d used red alchemy on blood before? When? Why hadn’t she told me?
“Who else knows about that? What happened?”
“My baby sister, and it was an accident. She’s fine. Nothing happened. I think Faulk knows. But I never outright admitted to it.”
“Don’t say another word to anyone about it,” I pleaded.
She shook her head, jumped up, and moved to leave. I went after her. There was no way she was going anywhere. Not now. Not like this.
13
Jessa
He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him. A heartbeat later, our bodies were pressed together, his eyes two heated gray slits.
“You’re not telling anyone. I’ll explain when I can. But I can’t right now. It’s not safe yet.”
“Why?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “You can trust me.”
“Maybe I can,” he said. “But you’re too close to Reed. And I know I can’t trust him. Please, Jessa, when I can help you, I will.”
What did any of this have to do with Reed? I hadn’t even been thinking of Reed. He was my friend, and we worked together. But it’s not like I was telling Reed all my secrets. Yes, I was pretty sure Reed wanted something more from me romantically. But that wasn’t going to happen. There wasn’t a spark.
Like there is right now.
Pressed up against Lucas, anticipation welled in my chest. “Why do you care who I spend my time with?”
I never forgot whom he spent his time with. Sasha…his girlfriend. Most days, I didn’t see her. But when I did, I couldn’t help but like her. She was kind and friendly. She always made a point to say hello and to stop and chat. And that made it even worse, because deep down I hated that she had what I didn’t.
“I care because I care about you,” he said, his gaze intense.
I stepped away. I couldn’t think clearly. The greenhouse humidity made me sweaty and disoriented, his closeness only added to that. “How is keeping me from my family looking out for me? Look, training has been fun and all, but I really miss them. I want those phone calls.” His expression tore. Did I have to explain everything I’d been trying to tell him? I wasn’t going to be an alchemist who forgot about her family. “Faulk says I can have an exception, remember? If I can learn red alchemy, then I can call them. And guess what? I can change blood. So why not tell someone? Faulk? Your father? Someone!”
Lucas practically growled, shaking his head with frustration. “And turn blood gray again? You know that’s probably dangerous, right? Gray means the life is gone. How could that be okay to do to someone? No Jessa… Don’t you see they’re using you? Faulk? The GC? My father?”
“I thought you worked with them! Aren’t you supposed to be a team or something? None of this is making any sense to me. I need you to explain it.”
“I can’t,” he replied, running his hand through his dark, disheveled hair. “Have you not heard what I’ve been saying to you? I swear, sometimes you are so infuriating. Listen! Your life would be in danger if you did what they asked of you. Don’t give red to them. You don’t know whom you’re dealing with. I do. Now, please stop asking questions and have some trust, will you?”
“All I know is that Faulk can grant me my phone calls with my family and you can’t. No matter what I do, you don’t give me anything I want.”
Heat burned my cheeks when I realized the implication of what I’d just said. Did he read between the lines as I had? His eyes narrowed as he stepped closer, drawing the heat down even harder.
“What do you want me to give you, Jessa?”
“Nothing. I know that you have a girlfriend, even though you were seriously considering kissing me that night on the lawn. And I know that Reed is my friend, even though you are telling me to stay away from him. Why are you so jealous of him?”
“Jessa, Reed is working with Faulk. He’s her golden boy and everyone knows it. And no, I am not jealous of Reed.”
His eyes flamed as he took another step forward. I realized he was still holding my arm, but his grip wasn’t tight anymore. It was soft. Gentle, even.
“Why do you like him, anyway?” he asked.
I had to think about that for a moment. Why did I like Reed? Well, I didn’t have any romantic feelings for him. But I wasn’t about to tell Lucas that. Something about his jealousy, even though he refused to acknowledge it, caused my chest to swell. “He’s funny. And he’s cute. And he is nice to me. And he’s smart. Oh, and talented.”
Lucas only glared even more.
“Why do you like Sasha?” I fired back.
“She’s funny and cute,” he replied, deadpan.
We were only about an inch apart. I ached to touch him. Instead I held still, my chin raised, as I gave him an icy stare. The normal Jessa would’ve stepped back or turned away. But I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to.
“Sasha is…Well, it’s complicated with her. I wish I could explain what we have. It’s not exactly what it looks like.”
When he looked at my lips, I couldn’t breath.
I waited for Lucas to close the gap. To press his lips against mine so we could finally have a moment of relief. As much as I’d hated to admit it, I’d longed for this moment since I first met him. Just when I couldn’t take it any longer, just when I knew the kiss was going to happen, he pulled back.
Breathing heavily, he put his forehead against mine and shook his head. I wanted to tell him to kiss me anyway, but my words got caught on my breath. The heat of the greenhouse had intensified yet again, and the air was too thick between our bodies. A bead of sweat ran down my spine. I trembled.
“We can’t do this,” he said, stepping back. “Sincerely, I apologize for confusing you. I don’t want to play games with you. I really do want your trust. But this can’t happen.”
“Is this how you treat all the girls?” Why couldn’t he just figure out who he wanted, what he wanted? An unfamiliar storm of anger gripped me. At any moment, I could say something I’d regret. This sensation of rejection hadn’t been tamed the last few weeks. It had only grown into an angry wildfire.
Lucas actually had the nerve to look offended. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Why should I believe you?”
“This is not how I treat girls. First of all, I don’t date color alchemists.”
I had to laugh at that one. I mean, really, was he serious?
“That’s right, I guess you forgot about Sasha again.”
What was he doing, trying to kiss me? And more importantly, why had I been so willing to let him? Whether he considered it monogamous dating or not, Sasha clearly thought of herself as Lucas’s girlfriend. And from the looks of it, she was! I hadn’t forgotten all the times I’d seen them together. She deserved better. And I deserved more.
“Honestly, it’s not what you think,” he insisted.
I was tired of th
e broken record. “Are you kidding me? I’ve seen you with her. Multiple times! Kissing her. I don’t know what’s going on between you two. But something is, so don’t stand here and try to tell me it isn’t.”
“You’re right. You don’t know half of what’s really going on.”
A surge of courage pulsed through me and I couldn’t help myself, “Then why have you almost kissed me? Twice.”
“But I haven’t kissed you. And I won’t.”
Somehow, that was not the response I was expecting and it certainly wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to ask why not. I wanted to demand an answer. I wanted to make him hurt, as he’d hurt me. But I didn’t seem to have the courage. Not when it came to him. I turned away.
“Jessa, being with you would be dangerous.”
About a million responses came to mind, but I didn’t speak.
“Sure, there’s chemistry here. I’ll admit that. But we’re not meant to be. Let’s just leave it alone before someone gets hurt.”
Didn’t he realize someone had already gotten hurt? The more I tried to push the ache of rejection down, the more painful it was. I wouldn’t let him see that. If there was one thing I had learned while being at the palace, it was that I couldn’t let anyone see me as weak. Everyone here was strong. Especially Lucas. I knew the truth now. I needed to be strong.
Trying to hold onto the last remnants of my pride, I turned back and reached out my hand in surrender. That small gesture nearly killed me. “Friends?”
His expression was unreadable as he tentatively shook my hand. I hoped I was coming across cool and collected. Lies. All lies.
“Please, Jessa, trust me. We’ll talk about it when I can give you more answers. Answers about everything, okay? Be patient with me.” He really did look sorry now.
Why should I care about his ‘sorry’?
He let go of my hand and raised his own in mock surrender. “I’ll keep you at a distance from now on. Just…don’t say a word about the red. As soon as I have news to share, you’ll be the first to know.”