by K. Webster
“What did you do?” Ryan grins.
“I’m paying him back for only charging us eighty-six dollars,” I laugh.
Her face pales. “Shit, that’s expensive.”
I shake my head at her. “Angel, that should have at least been a four-hundred-dollar meal. He’s trying to make up from earlier, but it’s not his fault. I like the guy.”
She leans over and kisses my cheek. “You’re a good man, Chaz.”
“Come on. Let’s get back to the bus before the show starts and I’ll show you just how good I can be.”
“What are you doing, angel?” Chaz asks, scooting into the booth next to me.
I have Sutton on my shoulder, and he’s sound asleep. I could lay him down, but I want to hold him close.
“Babysitting while Bobby and June take a ‘nap,’” I giggle softly.
He raises his eyebrows knowingly and kisses the top of Sutton’s soft head. The butterflies in my heart flutter around happily. I’m seriously falling for this man. He’s sexy and sweet, and he genuinely cares about me. With each little kiss, caress, and loving word, he chips away at the rock fortress that is my heart. Maybe I’ll tell him today.
“I got on my laptop earlier and watched the videos from last night. You were fucking amazing like always,” he praises.
I grin and lean in to kiss his lips. He pecks me softly and pulls away.
Last night really was amazing—not just me, but everyone. The crowd was extremely receptive to our new duet song, so much so that we’ve agreed to start incorporating more.
When the bus hits a bump, Sutton whimpers.
“Shh, I’ve got you,” I croon into his hair.
Chaz smiles at me. “God, you look so fucking hot right now. With the sun creating a halo around your head, you truly do look like an angel. And by the way you take care of Sutton, I can tell you’ll be a great mom one day.”
My heart pounds almost painfully in my chest.
“Thanks,” I whisper and turn my attention out the window.
“Do you ever want to have kids of your own—” he begins, but thankfully Donnie interrupts. I do not want to go there right now.
“You two playing house? Can I be like the hot Uncle Jesse from Full House? Have mercy,” he says in a low baritone, sounding just like John Stamos from the old television show.
Chaz playfully swats at him from across the table, but Donnie leans back out of reach. “Nah. You’re more like the annoying neighbor, Kimmy,” Chaz laughs.
Donnie goes from joking to serious. “I talked to Dad.”
Chaz sits up, his back stiff as a board. “And?”
With a sigh, Donnie runs his fingers through his dark-blond hair. “He talked to Sid Mooney, a friend of his, and he’s taking our case. On our next few-day break, he wants us to fly to meet with him and Sid.”
“Fuck,” Chaz groans, rubbing both cheeks with the palms of his hands.
I’m watching them nervously. What am I missing?
Donnie gives us a sad smile. “After our show in Nashville tonight, we’ll have a few days. We don’t play in Atlanta for what, five more days?”
I startle when tattooed hands reach over me to take Sutton.
“Was he good?” Bobby asks from behind me.
“A perfect angel,” I tell him and reluctantly hand the sleeping cherub to his daddy.
He walks around and takes the seat next to Donnie. “What’d I miss?”
“Well,” Donnie begins somberly, “while you were fucking baby momma, I told them we’re going to have to fly to Vegas to meet this new lawyer guy—and my dad.”
Bobby grunts. “Fucking really? Couldn’t he just refer someone? Does he really have to come too? I know he’s your dad, but I can’t stand that man.”
A thought suddenly comes to me. If they have to fly back for their meeting, then I can fly back home to Flagstaff. My heart flutters rapidly in my chest and I can’t wait to make a phone call.
Chaz looks over at me and his face lights up when he sees the huge grin on my face.
“What are you so happy about?” he laughs and pins me for a slow and soft kiss.“Get a room,” Donnie jokes even though I can still sense his unease about meeting with his father.
Chaz breaks our kiss so he can flip off Donnie.
“I just thought, since you guys have to go to that meeting, I could go back to Flagstaff,” I beam.
When Chaz tenses beside me, my heart drops.
Donnie looks over at me and sadly shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Ry-Bear, but they specifically requested that you be there as well since this involves your contract too.”
Tears pool in my eyes. I had my heart already fucking set on going home.
I swallow down a sob. “Okay.”
Chaz squeezes my thigh. “Are you okay?” he leans in and whispers.
Shaking my head, I mutter out an, “Excuse me,” and scramble over his lap to find sanctity in my bunk. Chaz calls out for me, but I hightail it down the hallway and nearly knock over June.
“Ryan? Is everything okay?” she asks, concerned.
The tears I fought to keep at bay explode. “No,” I choke out.
She frowns and grabs my hand. I follow her up to the loft and sit down on the bed beside her.
“Talk, honey. I know somethin’ is botherin’ you and I feel like you need to talk it out,” she drawls.
I sigh heavily before speaking. “I miss home. So much. We have to go back to Vegas tomorrow, and I was kind of hoping I could go to Flagstaff, but since the lawsuit will affect my contract as well, I won’t get to go.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Do you have a child at home?”
Tears stream down my cheeks, but I don’t speak.
Sweet June pulls me in for a hug. “Listen to me, honey. If I couldn’t see Sutton every single day, I would die a slow death of a broken heart. I had an inklin’ that this might be the case with you. It doesn’t get past me the way you hold and look at Sutton. You’re a momma missin’ your little one. Boy or girl?”
I’m sobbing hard now, like gasping for air and on the verge of hyperventilating. All I manage out is, “Boy.”
Someone stomps loudly up the steps, but I don’t have to see the blurry figure to know that it’s Chaz. When I jerk my gaze to June, she shakes her head slightly, silently vowing not to rat me out.
“Angel,” Chaz murmurs and falls to his knees in front of me. He wraps his arms around my hips and buries his face into my thighs in a very nonsexual way—but one of comfort.
I continue to sob, unsure how to make myself stop. Every time I close my eyes, his face is in the forefront of my mind, only serving to make me cry harder.
“Come on,” he chokes out.
I’m gutted knowing that he’s so upset for me and he doesn’t even know why. He just wants to help me. I gasp in surprise when he scoops me into his arms.
“I’m taking you to bed so I can hold you.”
He’s my knight in shining armor. When he finally finds out what I’ve tried so hard to protect, will he still be there for me? I sure as hell hope so.
He bounds down the stairs with me in his arms as if I weigh nothing. When we reach the bunks, he slides me into his in the middle.
I roll toward the wall and he scoots in behind me to spoon. His thick, tattooed, muscular arm rests heavily across my middle. He feels good. Safe. Comforting.
He slides his hand up to my hair and moves it away from my neck. Softly, he trails kisses along my exposed flesh, causing goose bumps to rise. His hand glides down my shoulder and along the length of my arm. He’s distracting me and doing a damn good job of it. I’ve downgraded to just hiccups and silent crying.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” he promises. It’s his thing. His ongoing mantra.
And dammit if I don’t believe him every time he says it.
When I don’t respond, he snuggles into my hair. “I told Donnie to book us both a flight to Flagstaff the day after the meeting. I’m taking you home.”
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My heart really does feel like it’s bursting with joy. I roll to where I can face him. He uses his thumb to dry my cheek under my eye. Tilting up to him, I kiss him slowly at first. But as I think about how much this man means to me—how romantic and sweet and caring he is—I want more.
“Thank”—kiss—“you”—kiss—“Chaz.” Kiss.
He groans against my lips and grabs a handful of my ass.
“Make love to me,” I beg between kisses. I know begging isn’t necessary with him, but I need this physical and emotional connection like I need air.
“I could never deny you, sweet angel,” he says sweetly against my lips before growling out, “Now get naked.”
I break away from him to yank off my T-shirt and bra while he pulls off his shirt. We both awkwardly undress the rest of the way in the small space. Once we’re both naked, he pulls the blanket up over us. Instead of getting right to it, he slowly drags two fingers from where he wipes a few remaining tears on my cheek to my jaw, down my neck, and to my collarbone. He spreads out his hand and slides his palm along my upper chest and down to cup my breast.
“I want to be the one who takes care of you, angel,” he whispers and kisses my nose. “But you have to let me in.”
My heart aches. I want to let him in so bad.
“I will. Now please. I need you,” I plead.
Knowing what I need without my having to voice it, he climbs over me. I part my legs for him and he slides his cock right in. He slips is arms under the pillow beneath me and rests on his elbows so we’re as close as we can be. His lips brush against mine and he kisses me in a possessive, protective way as he thrusts into me. He’s pumping hard, but his tongue against mine is slow and seductive.
I feel so enclosed. Protected. Cherished.
“Ryan, my sweet angel,” he whispers between kisses.
The way his body is pressed against mine as he pounds into me teases my clit just enough that I begin to see stars along the edge of my vision. My orgasm lies just out of reach.
I thread my fingers into his hair and kiss him harder. His mouth, tongue, lips—I can’t get enough of him.
“Oh God, baby,” he groans against my lips. He’s close to coming as well.
A few more thrusts and I moan into his mouth. My body tightens with ecstasy and I shudder as my release bursts through every nerve ending, temporarily blinding me.
I feel him tense up and heat blast into me as he climaxes.
“Angel, I love you.”
My eyes blink open in shock. No, he can’t love me. Not yet.
“No.”
He pulls away to look at me in confusion. “What? I’m not sure what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, but I do fucking love you.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “You love a part of me, Chaz. Not all of me. One day, I hope you can love all of me. Right now, it’s just a tiny pebble. I have a whole mountain of me still left to give—for you to love.”
He looks away from me angrily but brings his almost glowing green eyes back to mine. “You may only offer me a sliver of your rock heart, but, angel, I own that piece and I love it more than you will ever know.”
Sadly, he bows down and kisses my forehead before he pulls out of me and begins dressing. I drag the blanket to my chin and watch him tearfully. He wants to get away from me. I know I’ve upset him for not reciprocating.
“Chaz.” I reach out to him as he finishes pushing his arms through the arm of his shirt. He tugs the bottom of his shirt down over his ripped stomach and I’m denied the glorious view of his toned, painted flesh.
He frowns but takes my hand and brings my knuckles to his lips. “Everything’s going to be okay.” With that, he kisses my hand before releasing it and slides off the bunk.
I sure hope so. Right now, everything seems like a big fucking mess. And all it would take would be one simple statement to fix this wall between us.
I have a kid and I fucking miss him like mad.
But instead of calling after the man I love as well but can’t admit it aloud, I roll over and dream of the one who plagues my every thought.
“Last night was fucking epic,” Donnie slurs as he stumbles through the hallway, effectively waking my ass up. What the fuck else is new with him?
I crack an eye open. It’s daylight and the idiot is still drunk. Last night was a huge show, and we rocked the stage. Things were weird between Ryan and me, but at least she still came to bed with me, sleeping tucked in her usual spot—under my arm and pressed against my chest. Speaking of my girl, she must have gotten up already to help June with breakfast. That’s typically their girl bonding time.
“Are you still drunk?” I ask, astonished.
“Dude, after the show, th-th-these fucking fake-tit groupies pounced on me. Four chicks, man,” he murmurs as he climbs into his bed.
I yank open my curtain and watch him unsuccessfully try to climb in three times before he collapses on the bottom buck.
“Annnnywayyy,” he drags out, “they took me back to a hotel room and took turns sucking and fucking me. My dick is fucking raw, dude. I’ve never fucked so many holes in one sitting. You should have seen me trying to sneak my ass out of a bed with four chicks curled around me. I made it f-f-four steps before one of the chicks stopped me, dropped to her knees, and gave me a ‘goodbye blow.’ Epic fucking night.”
I sigh. In a few hours, we’re going to have to head to the Nashville airport to catch our plane. This trip to see his dad is fucking stressing him out, which is the whole reason he got fucked up and went on a man-whore bender.
“Dude, you get one hour and then your ass better pack a bag and be ready to go,” I warn.
He mutters something unintelligible before passing right out. After throwing on some jeans and taking a quick bathroom break to pee and brush my teeth, I make my way into the kitchen. June is scooping some eggs on a plate, probably for Bobby, while he sits on the sofa tickling Sutton.
“Where’s Ryan?” I ask.
June shrugs her shoulders. “I haven’t seen her all morning. I just assumed she was still in bed.”
I turn on my heels, walk back into the hallway, and check each bed. It isn’t until I check her bed a second time that I realize her bag is gone. What the fuck?
Yanking out my cell, I dial her number. It goes straight to voicemail.
“Fuck!” I roar.
Bobby rounds the corner with Sutton in his arms. “Where is she?”
“I have no fucking idea and she’s not answering her phone.”
Bobby scowls, mimicking the worry on my face. “Chaz, she wouldn’t just leave without telling someone. I mean, I know she missed home and all, but she wouldn’t just leave us high and dry, man.”
I yank open the curtain to her bunk. “Really? Her bag is gone. She fucking snuck out of here. Why? Why the fuck would she leave without telling me?” I demand angrily.
“Calm down,” he starts. “Maybe she just—”
I cut him off. “Maybe Donnie knows.” I kneel down and shake him awake.
“What?” he groans and attempts to pull the pillow over his eyes.
“Do you know where in the hell Ryan is?” I growl.
He laughs. Fucking laughs at me. June wisely relieves Bobby of Sutton, sensing a Chaz meltdown at any time. Bless her.
“Where the fuck is she?” I scream. He fucking knows something.
“Duuuuuuude, I don’t know. Stop yelling. She just called me last night. No, wait. Maybe this morning—hell, I don’t fucking know when—and asked for my credit card number. I gave it to her. She’s my girl. Of course I gave it to her.”
I’m boiling over with rage at this point. “Get your ass out of that bed before I kill you. Where the fuck did she go?”
“Ummm, she said it was important to get home,” he says sleepily.
I turn on my heels and start shoving shit into my bag. Bobby waits patiently in the hallway.
“I have to go to her, Bobby.”
&n
bsp; He pats me on the back. “I know you do, man. Find your woman and we’ll handle the meeting.”
I’ve tried not to be a stalker-ass motherfucker, but she’s killing me. Before I boarded the plane, I texted her several times without response. Now that I’m in Flagstaff, the plane has barely landed before I’m powering up my phone to check for missed calls. Three missed calls from Donnie. I try her again to no avail.
I find Donnie’s number and call him back. “What?” I growl into the phone. I’m still pissed that he spoke to her last night—that she thought it was better for her to go to Donnie rather than me if she needed help. It doesn’t make any sense.
“First of all, did you see your ugly ass all over TMZ and Twitter?” he laughs.
I press my lips together, barely holding on to a thread of calm. “No.”
“Well, apparently, back in Ohio, you proposed to my Ry-Bear? Where the fuck was I? Why are we just learning about this? Congrats, man. A little fast in my book, but—”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“There is a picture everywhere of the two of you in a candlelit restaurant with her hand in yours. You didn’t get down on one knee? You were supposed to be the romantic one, dude.”
Exhaling loudly, I rub my temple. I have a fucking migraine coming on at the worst possible time.
“Donnie, I didn’t propose. Fucking paparazzi bombarded our asses on a date. Unfuckingbelievable,” I groan.
“Bobby told me it was a hoax, but I had to make sure. Anyway, since you can’t get ahold of Ryan, I remembered that she called home from my phone after the day you were an ass and broke hers.”
I clench my teeth together in frustration.
“I can text you the number and you can try and get ahold of her that way.”
Finally, a fucking lead.
“Thanks.”
I’m about to hang up when he stops me. “She’s okay, Chaz.”
“How do you fucking know that? I need to find her and see what made her blow out without even a fucking goodbye, knowing I love her. She knew it would fucking gut me, but she did it anyway.”