by Mona Simpson
Really? she asked then.
Have you ever heard me say that before? I am not Lita.
Natalie telephoned that evening. Dominique Garcia says her agency handles nannies in the range of a hundred twenty to two fifty a day! But by then, Claire and I had made up.
Now I will go to that place. I take two buses. Because already, September is half done. As I leave to walk to the bus stop, Ruth puts an envelope in my pocket.
“What is this?” I can feel already it is thick. Money. “No. I cannot take.” But still I am holding. Because I need to. “I will pay you back.”
“It is not from me. The girls took up a collection.”
A collection for me! I am the one to ask the collection. But now I must accept and say thank you. The collection they took, it is big, bigger than any I pooled, more than the plane fare to send Lettie Elizande home. It will be enough, with what I have, to send for tuition. I put it in my pocket, next to the soul of China. After the agency the Garcia girl recommended, I will go to the bank to wire.
Buckingham Nannies. But the office, it is no palace. The building has a traffic school and Persians taking passport photos; the agency is only one small room. Because the ones who see are out-of-work nannies; the moms just call. Unfair matchmaking.
Two guys sit, desks facing each other, eating egg-and-bagel sandwiches.
I hand them my résumé, including a picture Williamo made in school: I AM GRATEFUL FOR: MY LOLA.
They look at me up and down and start telling me jobs, eighty to one-twenty a day. “We’ll schedule meetings day after tomorrow,” the guy says, fingers on the phone.
“Wait a minute.” I try to joke. “I have a friend who is employer. Dominique Garcia Weinstock. She told me some pay two-thirty.”
Then I hear the clock. The guy resting fingers on the telephone glances at the other. “Well, there are American college girls. But let me tell you, those gals don’t clean, they can’t cook. I wouldn’t get near one myself. They whine. Let’s face it: What’s a with-it college girl doing nannying?” He sighed. “But people worry about the accent. We see kids here who speak Spanish before they speak English.”
Even one year ago, Williamo talked like me. But from the school, he learned professional English. So Filipinas, we are not even the highest. I did not know that.
“One way to make more. Would you be comfortable with twins?”
“I have five children,” I say. “I can take care two.”
They set up an interview for me in Studio City, for one hundred twenty. Danny drives me to the top a hill, with olive trees and small purple blossoms swaying, hot already, before nine in the morning. When I step out of the car there is low noise. Bees maybe. Closer to the house, a fountain runs. The two come out, each carrying one baby. We talk less than ten minutes, they look at each other, and the woman offers me the job, when I have not yet given them the numbers for Helen and Claire.
“Do you not want to check the reference first?”
“No,” the mother says. “You’re hired.”
EMPLOYMENT AGREEMENT
Between Wanda Luwanza and Susie and Justin Gelfond
This is an Agreement between Susie and Justin Gelfond (“the Gelfonds”) and Wanda Luwanza (“Lola”). The Gelfonds have elected to engage Wanda to perform the following duties in exchange for compensation stated in this Agreement. The purpose of this Agreement is to clearly state the agreed-upon services and compensation. This Agreement contains the entire understanding of the parties. It may not be changed orally but only by an agreement in writing signed by both parties. The parties agree as follows.
Wanda agrees to provide the following childcare and services:
Childcare for the Gelfonds’ twins, Franny and Gardiner. This includes but is not limited to every-day care such as age appropriate activities (feeding, bathing, changing diapers, clipping nails, singing, playing, reading, cradling, exercising motor skills, going to the park, supervising their interaction with other children, etc.). We encourage you to speak your language to them and to read to them whenever possible. We hope you, Wanda, will come to treat the twins as you do your own family, who deserve love and affection, challenge and support, humor and discipline. We encourage you to help them grow into fun, thoughtful, responsible, intelligent children.
We will ask you to bring the twins to our places of work for visits of varying duration. Several days a week, you will be expected to care for the twins in and around Susie’s office.
In time, Franny and Gardiner’s care may include driving them and accompanying them to various school-related activities, birthday parties, and doctor’s visits.
When the twins enter school, we will expect you to use the spare time their absence will provide you to volunteer at said school, on committees, lunchtime service, library room helping, etc.
Keeping the house clean and tidy. This includes cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast in the morning and after use throughout the day; keeping Franny and Gardiner’s rooms and the playroom organized, doing their laundry, sterilizing the toys, folding and putting away clothes, picking up after them, putting away anything (such as books or toys) used during their daily activities. Caring for the twins must remain the primary responsibility, but during their naps there should be ample time for such chores. Responsibilities also include grocery shopping, post office visits, film drops, clothing returns, putting away groceries, making beds, organizing cupboards and closets. A housekeeper will be employed once a week for more strenuous cleaning such as floor washing, bathroom scrubbing, etc.
Dinner preparation for the Gelfonds. This will involve setting the dinner table, getting necessary foods and making a salad, marinating or putting food in the oven, etc. We encourage Wanda to cook occasionally, if she likes. She is welcome to use anything in the kitchen for herself—including food and equipment—unless expressly stated otherwise.
Wanda agrees to the following house rules:
Safe supervision of the twins at all times
No visitors unless approved by the Gelfonds
No TV watching unless the twins are asleep. The children are not permitted to watch TV without first speaking to the Gelfonds
No smoking, alcohol, or drugs
No spanking, yelling, hitting, or physical discipline of any kind is to be used with Franny or Gardiner
Transportation: We will provide Wanda with a car, in excellent condition, for the errands and activities listed above. Franny and Gardiner will always be transported in their respective car seats (pink and blue), and never left unattended in the car.
Wanda’s hours of employment shall be Monday through Friday, mostly 6:15 am until 9 pm, although two or three days a week later, allowing the Gelfonds evenings out. Also, most nights we expect the twins to sleep through the night, but if they should wake up, the night feedings and rocking back to sleep will be Wanda’s responsibility, as she will be able to nap while they do, the next day, while the Gelfonds will each be working. There may be occasions when the Gelfonds are both traveling or working and Wanda will need to attend to the twins several nights in a row.
In exchange for her responsibilities, Wanda will be provided with a guesthouse, including a bedroom, galley kitchen, and bath. We will ask her to maintain it as she would her own home, keeping it clean and tidy. We require Wanda to consult with us before making any material changes to the house, such as painting, fixtures, window treatments, flooring, etc. The Gelfonds will pay all utilities. A private phone line will be installed and basic service paid by the Gelfonds, but additional usage, above and beyond the basic services, will be Wanda’s responsibility.
The Gelfonds shall pay Wanda a salary of $600 per week, which shall be paid weekly on Fridays. The Gelfonds will deduct FICA and SDI from her salary. Wanda is responsible for paying her own federal and state tax. On those occasions Wanda works additional days, over and beyond the agreed-upon five days per week, she will be compensated an additional $5 per day, $20 for each full weekend.
Wh
en Wanda’s services are not necessary and she is given 1 or 2 days’ advance notice, the Gelfonds may ask for equal hours of service at another time.
Wanda shall receive the following days as paid holidays if the following days fall on a regularly scheduled workday: New Year’s Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day.
Wanda will be allowed 3 days of paid sick/personal leave every calendar year. One day of this time can be used after every 120 days of employment. If Wanda does not use these days, she will be paid on a prorated basis at the end of twelve months.
Wanda shall receive no less than 7 days of vacation every twelve months of employment. Vacation time will be required to match the Gelfonds’ own scheduled vacation—in the event that Wanda does not join us on our vacation. The Gelfonds will give Wanda four weeks’ notice for vacation scheduling.
Wanda will be responsible for all healthcare-related expenses, including but not limited to prescription charges, copayments, deductibles, hospital charges, etc.
Other benefits include travel opportunities, flight miles, etc.
A job performance evaluation shall be held every six months.
Wanda’s employment under this Agreement may be terminated upon one or more of the following events:
By the Gelfonds for justifiable cause with 24 hours’ notice. In this case, Wanda will not receive any outstanding payment for sick or vacation days. The Gelfonds can justifiably terminate Wanda for the following reasons:
Wanda fails to comply with the rules and standards established by the Gelfonds.
Wanda engages in fraud, dishonesty, or any other act of misconduct in the performance of Wanda’s duties on behalf of the Gelfonds.
By the Gelfonds without cause upon two weeks’ notice or, in lieu of two weeks’ notice, two weeks’ salary.
By Wanda upon six weeks’ notice.
By Wanda’s permanent disability, such that Wanda is unable, due to illness, accident, or other cause, to perform the majority of her usual duties for a period of one month or more despite reasonable accommodation by the Gelfonds.
The terms of this Agreement shall commence on the signing of this Agreement and continue, in full force and effect, until otherwise terminated or revised as herein provided. The first day of work shall be September 13, 1995. The terms and conditions set forth in this Agreement shall govern Wanda’s employment unless changed in writing.
We look forward to you being a part of our family for many years to come.
I sign the contract, but I do not join the Gelfond family.
Actually, I stay at that rich job only one week. Every day, they want that I will take the babies to the mom at her lunch, and on the regular roads that is more than one hour each way. The first day Franny cries and I have to pull to the curb to change the diaper in the back. The second day, they both scream and I have to feed. Finally home, the twins sit in their bouncy chairs on the kitchen island, waving spatulas like wands. I stir biscuits from a mix. I have spread out a map, to find a better route for tomorrow.
My weekend employer calls me. “There’s a woman at Paramount, single mom. I don’t really know her, but she just went into the hospital to have the baby and she needs help.” She lives in Santa Monica, he tells me. Ten minutes from Williamo. She will give me two thousand for a down payment on a car and a good salary, he says, whatever you’re getting paid there.
It is better really with a single mother, Ruth says. She does her job and you do yours. The ex-husband of Natalie, he can find a good car for you.
By the time my employers turn the key in the lock that night I am packed. I tell them I am going home. Before anything, the father runs upstairs, two at a time. Yes, they are alive, asleep, tucked in their cribs. I did not kidnap the prince and princess.
“But what about when you come back,” the mother pleads. He panicked that they were dead or stolen. She frets; how can she go to work tomorrow? “The twins like you. We know you. I’ll ask the agency to get us a temp.”
But they do not know me. “I am old,” I say. “I will not return here.” I wait outside for Danny to pick me. Really, what I told them, it is the truth.
“This is Lola,” my weekend employer says at the hospital, his other hand cupping the elbow of the doctor. But the doctor is Alice, the employer of Lita. So it is true what the babysitters are gossiping. Here Alice seems different, in a white coat and scrubs.
“I know Lola,” she says. “I’ll take you to meet my patient. This baby needs someone. During the birth, there were problems.”
The mother, she puts the baby in my hands that first day. She gives her to me. A girl this time. No father. And something wrong.
The first week I make the mother soup and eggs. I took care an elderly, so already I am used to foods of convalescence. My job now it is not only the baby but to take care the mother so she can soon return to Paramount Pictures. It does not feel to me the house of a new mother. But my employer is a new mother, too, even in her forties. The baby, she still has no name.
“I’ve been overwhelmed,” Judith says. A quick smile up at me.
It is quiet here. In back, the middle of three duplex units, there is an old sycamore and many birds, but we are the only ones to watch. Americans, they do not like to share land. We have an easy time, this baby and I. A baby really is the beginning of the world. If you slow down, you too will grow. With my own, I was too tired from the births. In the Philippines, we have only what they call here natural childbirth.
The mother sleeps, the eyes still sunk. I keep water on low, so as soon as she sits I can bring her tea. Especially now, I appreciate the sharp taste of coffee. I will take the tray away, and then she is sleeping again. I keep the dede in a can of warm water. The baby girl listens to the birds. My life is managing two sleepers, holding kites so the strings do not tangle. A tent slopes over us, of tender air.
The tenth evening, I tell my employer, “The hospital telephoned. You must give a name. Otherwise, the birth certificate will come back from the county clerk No name Wilson.” She stays up past midnight at the kitchen table making a list.
Natasha
Claire
Grace
Anna
Sophia
Caitlin
“So which will it be?” I ask in the morning, rinsing her glass from the night.
“I don’t know yet,” she says.
• • •
I strap Little One onto my chest in the Snugli. Now when I walk to the Pacific, she comes along. The head drops by the time we cross Seventh Street, the sky a deep blue.
I tap the soul of China in my pocket. When I turn onto her street, there is a light in the kitchen. Donald Howard must be home, because the convertible is here, parked like a carousel animal, ferocious but still, made with the mouth always open. Maybe China came home from the hospital. The other ending is there too, an egg on the bone between my breasts.
Sue opens the door, hair just down. “Hi, come on in. I’m pumping.”
Little One sleeps, her head to one side, looking like the neck is broken. I follow Sue to the kitchen. Claire had a rented pump, blue and yellow, like a toy. This one covers half the counter. When Sue puts her breasts in and flips the switch, milk runs through the clear pipes that circle around like a racetrack and end in two waiting bottles. The nipples suck forward and back. I step away. After all this time, Sue still has milk. The kimono falls, so her shoulders show. I do not think of Sue as attractive, her hair she just lets, but under, the body looks young.
“Used to wake up with my breasts full of rocks.”
Somewhere in this house, I hear television news; Donald must be listening or the Harvard-Westlake brother.
She lifts off the funnels and screws lids on the bottles, then puts them in the freezer, where there are rows already. But who is that milk for?
I look down at this baby, whose head still fits my hand. When I came to the States, I did not realize any difference between breast milk
and formula, only that breast milk was free. For my babies, that was all I needed to know. But this girl has many problems. She could use the vitamins of milk from a mother.
I give the wax-paper bag with the certificate. Many times now, I will pat my pocket before I remember that it is not lost but returned. If she asks me, I will say Mai-ling went back to Ilocos Norte. A bakery. I will answer all that is true for Lettie Elizande. But Sue does not ask. Tears run on her face, falling on the soul of China, wetting so it will begin to dissolve.
“I know. I am a mother too,” I say.
She lurches into a hug, and I feel her breasts behind the silk.
“I am asking milk. For this one.”
She gets a bag from a dress shop with twine handles and fills it with bottles. “China hardly nurses anymore.”
“So China?”
“China! C’mere!”
China and the brother stampede downstairs. “She’s watching Madeleine, but it’s time for the Simpsons and she won’t let me!”
Sue fixes them each with a different TV, and then I hear. China was in the hospital three days. She would open her eyes but close them again. They checked her reflexes to determine if she could feel hot and cold. They were not sure she would survive, and the doctors said she could have brain damage if she did. Then, after nine hours, she woke up, looked at her parents, and said, Cake. And after that, she talked.
Cake. The birthday cake for Mai-ling! She wanted another piece. I will call everyone tonight. The story will go from babysitter to babysitter until the word shines.