“Nope. He kept his mouth shut.” Jake came the rest of the way into the room. “I felt guilty letting her cook fried chicken for me…”
“As you should have.” Damn it, if anyone should have been sitting in Gwen’s kitchen eating her cooking, it was him.
Jake gave him a disgusted look. “Jarvis, my man, you need to quit feeling sorry for yourself. If you weren’t running scared of how she makes you feel, you could’ve been there, too.”
Propping his feet up on the other chair, he made himself comfortable. “But what I started to say was that she looked like hell. I’d be surprised if she slept two hours last night. I tried to talk her into letting me take them out for dinner, but she refused.”
The idea of Gwen lying awake scared all night made Jarvis sick. “I checked as much of the area as I could alone. I’m going back tonight to see if anything stirs. To be honest, though, I don’t expect to find anything. Even if there were Others in the woods last night, the barrier has been stable all day.”
He tossed the file he’d been reading back in the stack. “I could be way off base here, but both last night and the night I ran into that mob of Kaliths followed right after a major failure in the barrier.”
Jake steepled his fingers and stared at them. “Makes sense, but where could they be going?”
“No idea. We won’t know much of anything until we know if this is a regular occurrence or just a fluke.” He stood up to pace the floor. “It makes me crazy to know that there could be a parade of those bastards marching through the woods that close to Gwen.”
He glanced at Jake, who had a big stupid grin on his face. “What’s so damned funny?”
“You.” Looking smug, he added, “I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be concerned about the possibility of a leak. But the bottom line is, Gwen is making you crazy, period. That woman is on your mind day and night. Maybe especially at night.”
Jarvis couldn’t deny it. “She’s a good woman, Jake.”
“So? If anyone is long overdue for some goodness in his life, it’s you.”
“Jake, my latest test scores were at the high end of normal. My next death could very well be my last. Do you really want to explain to her that I won’t becoming back because I died once too often? She watched her mother pine for a man who never came back for just that reason.”
He continued pacing, trying to burn off his anger. “Then there’s the little matter of Chase being one of us. Even if I did decide to see what develops between me and Gwen, how do you think she’s going to react when her brother signs on to fight the rest of his life? She probably has visions of him going to college and settling into a nice, normal job.”
Jake shook his head. “I think you’re underestimating Gwen. If you care that much for her, let her make the choice. Right now all you’re doing is confusing both of you.”
“Paladins are lousy husband material, and you know it.”
“That’s just an excuse.” Jake pointed toward the phone. “Call your good buddy Trahern, and ask how he feels about Brenna Nichols. Think he regrets letting a good woman into his life? I sincerely doubt it. Trahern was right at the edge of being crazy when he last died. Without Brenna talking him back to life, he’d be buried now. And he isn’t the only one because Devlin Bane is living with his Handler. The Regents might not like it, but it seems to be working for them.”
“So?”
“So I’m saying maybe Gwen could do the same for you.”
God, Jarvis wanted to believe that. “Maybe. But there’s the matter of Chase.”
“How do you think she’d react if he wanted to join the military? That’s not much different, except we don’t get to wear those cool uniforms or snazzy medals.”
Jake’s words made sense, but maybe that’s because he wanted them to. “And if I hurt her? What then?”
“Maybe you won’t. Either way, you’re going to be spending some serious time around her because of Chase. Why not see where this takes you? It’d be good to see you get some happiness in your life.”
Jake’s cell rang. He checked the message and shoved the phone back in his pocket as he stood to go. “I’m needed. I’ll see you later.”
He opened the door. “And one more thing, Jarvis. I’ve known you through good times and bad, but I’ve never thought of you as a coward.”
Then he was gone.
Jarvis sat down and picked up the next file in the stack—but before he even opened it; he set it down and reached for the phone.
Gwen had the fidgets. She couldn’t seem to settle down and get anything done. Jarvis had called last night and asked if he could see her to talk about something important. She’d been so sure that he wouldn’t be back, but now she didn’t know what to think.
At least Chase wasn’t home. His friend’s parents had invited him along on a campout to give the boys a break in routine before school started up again. It meant extra chores for her, but hey, what else did she have to do?
She was trying not to get her hopes up, telling herself he wanted to talk more about the training he and Jake had been giving Chase. Though he could have done that by phone.
Was the minute hand on the clock even moving? It sure didn’t seem like it.
Should she put on lipstick? No, Jarvis had seen her often enough to know that she didn’t dress up to work on the farm. She’d settle for a little mascara. With the nice skirt and top, that was enough.
Was that him pulling into the driveway? She peeked out the kitchen window. Sure enough, that familiar blue car was in the driveway. Her heart fluttered as she scurried into the bathroom to check her appearance one last time. Maybe a little lipstick wouldn’t hurt after all.
Satisfied, she straightened her shoulders and walked out to the porch, trying not to look too eager. But hot damn, he looked good. He was wearing black slacks and a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal really great forearms. Yum! But he was awfully dressed up if he’d come to talk about Chase. The flutters were back in her stomach.
He peeled off his sunglasses and tossed them into the car before starting toward the house. The way that man moved ought to come with a warning label.
When he spotted her watching him, he smiled. “Thanks for seeing me.”
She opened the screen door. “Come on in. There’s a nice breeze if you’d like to sit outside, or if you prefer air-conditioning, we can go inside.”
“Out here’s fine.” He chose his usual chair.
“Would you like a glass of fresh lemonade?”
“Sounds good, but don’t go to any trouble.”
“It’s no trouble.”
In the kitchen, she took a slow breath. He seemed tense. Was something wrong?
She poured the lemonade, then walked out onto the porch, with a smile.
He took a long drink. “Thanks, Gwen. That hit the spot.”
“You’re welcome.” She settled into her chair, trying to appear relaxed.
When the silence dragged on, she set her drink aside. “There was something you wanted to talk about.”
His smile was slow in coming and didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, I do. I just don’t know how to start.”
“Is it about Chase’s training?”
“That’s part of it, but not everything.” He ran his fingers through his hair, looking frustrated.
“I’m not that scary, am I?” she teased.
“No, and that’s the problem, Gwen. You’re anything but scary.” He finally looked straight at her. “I want to keep seeing you for a lot of reasons, most of them purely selfish, but I want to be fair to you, too. Am I making any sense here?”
That little ember of hope she’d been nursing was starting to burn hotter. “Not really.”
“Look, can we walk a bit?”
He rose to his feet and held out his hand. She let him tug her up out of the rocker and followed him down off the porch. They walked in silence out toward the pasture, where they stopped to watch the alpacas.
Finally, he sig
hed. “I’m a man with a lot of secrets, Gwen, ones I can’t share with anyone outside of the group I work with. In the past, when I met a woman I was interested in seeing more than once, I either avoided talking about my job or lied about it if she pushed for details.”
“That must be a hard way to live—not to mention trying to keep your story straight.”
“You get used to it after a while, and lying came pretty easy to me. I figured if the woman never found out about the lies, no harm, no foul.”
She tried to figure out how she felt about that. A little jealous of those nameless women in his past. But if one of them had really meant anything to him, he wouldn’t be standing here with her. He might have secrets, but he was a man of honor. She’d bet her last dollar on that.
“You did that to protect them as much as yourself.”
“That’s a nice way to look at it. But I find that I don’t want to lie to you.” He kept his eyes firmly on the alpacas. “I enjoyed our dinner the other night.” The corner of his eyes crinkled as he added, “And I really enjoyed what happened afterward.”
“Not as much as I did,” she admitted, even as her cheeks burned hot.
“So here’s the problem. I can’t tell you anything about what I do when I’m not here. Not now, maybe not ever. You already know my job is dangerous, but you wouldn’t even know that much if your dogs hadn’t found me that night.”
He finally turned to face her directly, putting his big hands on her shoulders.
“I want to be here for you, Gwen, as long as you understand that I can’t promise anything will come of it.”
So he was offering her a good time while it lasted? That hurt, but he was clearly trying to be up-front about what he could and couldn’t promise. The only question was whether it was worth the risk of being badly hurt. Because she very much feared she wouldn’t be able to keep things light with him. Not only did she honestly like him, but she’d never felt this powerful attraction for anyone else.
But the situation stirred up memories of her mother’s sorrow, which had shadowed the last years of her life. Gwen most certainly didn’t want that for herself, and her logical mind told her to run from him, to protect herself at all costs.
Her heart, though, heard Jarvis’s offer differently. It recognized that he was offering her as much of himself as he could give. It made her sad that he was forty-five years old and had never let himself get even this close to a woman before. How could she throw that back in his face? Especially because she’d never, ever felt this way about any man and might never again.
She mustered up a shaky smile. “Jarvis, I don’t know where this will lead, either. But I don’t want you to walk away from me one minute before you absolutely have to.”
He smiled broadly, then wrapped his arms around her and leaned down to kiss her sweetly, a gentle wooing that melted every bone in her body. If not for his support, she would have collapsed on the ground. Any second thoughts were lost in his kiss.
Jarvis was afraid to stop kissing her, fearing her commonsense nature would remind her what a poor risk he was. The selfish part of him was doing cartwheels because she’d heard every word and still wanted him.
He slowly broke off the kiss but continued to hold her close. She seemed to need the embrace as much as he did because she made no move to step away. Then his stomach growled, reminding him how long it had been since lunch.
He felt the vibration of Gwen’s laughter through his chest. “Hey, big boy, don’t they feed you where you work?”
He tugged on her hair. “Just so you know, smarty, I planned on taking you out to dinner.” Then he realized that he hadn’t seen Chase yet. “Should we ask your brother to go with us?”
Gwen leaned back to smile up at him. “What’s the matter? Feel like we need a chaperone? If so, we’re in trouble. He’s gone until the day after tomorrow. He was supposed to call you or Jake.”
“He probably did, but I haven’t checked my messages.” Then the meaning of what she’d told him sank in: they were alone.
“If you’re not set on going out for dinner, I’ve got leftover fried chicken and potato salad.” Gwen slipped her arm around his waist as they started back toward the house.
Hot damn! “I’d be a fool to turn that down. Jake came back raving about your fried chicken.”
She looked pleased. “Well, he didn’t get any of the peach pie sitting on the counter right now, so you can lord that over him.”
“Peach pie and fried chicken? Woman, where have you been all my life?” He picked her up and twirled her around, loving the way she laughed.
“I’m so glad I found you—and not because you’re a great cook. I also like your brother, and even your dogs.”
She gave him an arch look. “As I recall, I found you, not the other way around.”
“True enough.” He kissed her again. “At least I was smart enough to end up half dead in the right river.”
“I’m not sure ‘smart’ is the right word, but it’s certainly worked out well.” She led the way into the kitchen. “Lucky us, huh?”
Jarvis knew he was, but he wasn’t so sure about her. He would make sure to treat her right, and maybe she’d remember that when she learned he was teaching her brother how to be a killer just like him.
Dinner was relaxed and casual, the conversation easy. They both loved westerns and fantasy novels. Gwen claimed not to be much of a sports fan, but had absorbed a lot of knowledge through her brother. It felt damned good to spend time with an attractive, funny woman that he didn’t have be on his guard with the whole time.
When they’d both eaten their fill, she put away the leftovers. “Leave the dishes. I’ll do them later. Why don’t you go put a movie in while I cut the pie?”
“Any preferences on the movie?”
“I like them all, except the ones on the left side. My brother’s taste in movies isn’t quite mine.”
“What, you don’t live for car chases and explosions?”
She laughed.
He skimmed the titles and decided on The Fellowship of the Ring, since she’d mentioned it being a particular favorite during dinner. After setting the DVD, he sank down in the corner of the sofa. Like everything else in Gwen’s house, the furniture was chosen for comfort. He couldn’t remember ever feeling as at home anywhere before.
When Gwen came into the room, she set a piece of pie and a glass of milk on the coffee table in front of him, then sat down as close to him as she could without being in his lap. He’d talk her into trying that later.
He clicked the button to start the movie. As soon as the credits started rolling, she gave a happy sigh. “I was hoping you’d pick this one. I loved the whole series, especially Aragorn. You’ve just got to love a man who swings a big sword!”
Jarvis choked on his milk, trying not to laugh or spray the milk out. It was a shame he couldn’t offer to show her his sword.
She patted his back. “Are you all right?
“I’m okay,” he gasped. “I just swallowed wrong.”
As the movie played, Gwen cuddled in closer and he put his arm around her shoulders. Just holding her close felt damn good. When he started toying with her hair, she looked up and smiled. He couldn’t resist the urge to kiss the freckles scattered across the top of her cheeks and nose.
“I still need to get back to counting, you know. I haven’t forgotten.”
Her eyes sparkled. “That’s fine, as long as you don’t tell me how many there are. I really don’t want to know.”
“But I like them. I’ve always been a sucker for a beautiful redhead, especially with green eyes and freckles.”
“Yeah, right.” But she wanted to believe him; he saw it there in the way she looked at him. “I bet you have a line like that for every hair color.”
“Nope. And there’s only one redhead who appeals to me.” He shifted to lift her onto his lap. “She’s blinded me to any other woman.”
“Really.”
She was still skeptica
l, so he kissed her, showing just how hot she made him burn with the slightest touch.
Her arms wound around his neck and her fingers tangled in his hair as she met his demands with a few of her own. Her kiss tasted of peaches and desirable woman, and the heat they generated settled right where she was sitting. If she had any doubts that he wanted her, she could feel the hard evidence.
He filled his palm with her breast and squeezed, loving the sounds she made when his touch pleased her, or when she demanded more of the same. And he liked that his Gwen didn’t need much coaxing. She reached for his shirt buttons, undoing enough to allow her access to his bare chest. Her touch left fire in its wake.
He was skating the fine edge of taking her right there on the couch. It was definitely a step up from the front seat of his car, but she deserved better. “Gwen, honey, I need to slow down before I lose all control here.”
Her sweet eyes studied his face for a heartbeat or two. “And if I want you to lose all control?”
He groaned. “Are you sure? Because I’m willing to wait until you’re ready, even if it kills me.” He hoped she didn’t take him up on it, though.
Her smile was full of promises and heat, the kind of a smile that a man wanted his woman to keep just for him.
“My bedroom’s upstairs. I think the light’s better there for freckle counting.” She slid off his lap and held out her hand.
With that look in her eyes, he would have followed her straight into hell. But as they climbed the stairs, he knew heaven was waiting for him at the top.
Chapter 10
There was a skylight in the slanted ceiling over the queen-size bed, bathing it in the soft glow of the evening sky. The room matched the rest of the house, comfortable and welcoming. It suited Gwen perfectly, from the soft green of the walls to the bright-colored quilt that covered the bed.
As soon as they crossed the threshold, Gwen turned into his arms and smiled up at him. “Kiss me.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He brushed his lips across hers before finally getting down to the serious business of making love to this woman who had invited him into her home, and then into her bed.
Darkness Unknown Page 13