It didn’t help that the first person I saw was Shea, the bastard who’d killed my brother in the ring.
“Nice truck,” the shithead said with a smirk. His face was cut and bruised. No surprise he’d found trouble. “My brother tells me you’re shacking up with the shelter chick.”
“Trina. Not ‘shelter chick’.” I shoved my hands in my pockets so I didn’t strangle this asshole. All I could see was my brother’s body bleeding out. “My house is gone, so if you have any other suggestions, I’m all ears.”
“Yeah. I heard. Sorry about that.” Bullshit.
“Your brother here?” I wasn’t here to make small talk.
“Yeah.” Shea didn’t take his eyes off me. “Major. You have company.”
Major sauntered out like he’d never been anywhere else. He was in his regular clothes, jeans and T-shirt, and I was still wearing the clothes Trina had given to me because it was all I had. I’d been too busy to do anything about it. Until now, I hadn’t cared. “What do you want, Shadow?”
“Glad to see you made it home.” I emphasized home.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“I would’ve asked the same question before I went to see mine. There’s nothing left. They dozed the lot after the fire.” Our eyes were locked on one another. “My brothers and I were all reported dead.”
“I heard,” Major said solemnly. “I’m sorry.”
“When did you hear about it?” He looked genuine, but the timing was all too perfect. If I kept asking him questions, I’d catch him in a lie.
“Yesterday.” Major narrowed his eyes in confusion. “I was with you when it happened.”
“I need to make sure I can trust you, Major, if I’m going to be working with you.” I gave him another chance to come clean. “We’re stronger together. Division weakens us.”
“If you’re going to be working with me, I need you here. Taking care of pack business in the forest. We’ve been gone for six months and everything’s a mess. There’s been no leader in Sawtooth the whole time we’ve been gone. Your brothers won’t listen to me without you here. I don’t have time for this bullshit. You don’t need be fucking playing lap dog at the shelter. That woman did her job. She can’t save you anymore.” His laugh caught on the last few words.
He still thought he could tell me what to do. “I’m not working for you, Major.” I didn’t break my gaze. “We’re equals.”
He chuckled again. “We’ll see about that.”
Chapter Five
Trina
Tonight I had a date with Shadow Channing and I’d never been so nervous in my life.
There was no reason to be, in theory. We were going to have dinner and get to know each other. He’d already been inside me, so I didn’t have much to hide. But he actually wanted to talk. It wasn’t the wolf that scared the living shit out of me, it was the human.
Shadow had been grumbly since he’d come back from the forest. I kept waiting for him to say he’d changed his mind. Terrified or not, I wanted to do this. I wasn’t giving him an out.
“I’m going to take a shower,” I said. Once we got out of the truck, I noticed Shadow had new clothes. Jeans and a tight T-shirt that did nothing to hide the hard muscles of his chest under his jacket. I wondered if he’d gone shopping, or if he had a stash at his mother’s house. No matter where he got it, he looked amazing. He raised an eyebrow, my knees went weak. “I’m gross from the shelter. Don’t bother trying to tell me it’s fine. I smell like cat pee and I know it. No one will want to sit near us.”
“Okay,” Shadow grumbled. He sat down, looking uneasy.
“What?” Everyone in Granger Falls knew I ran the shelter, but this shower was non-negotiable. Nothing was more brutal than the stench of cat piss.
The look in his eyes made me shiver. “It’s going to be hard to stay out here, knowing what you’re doing in there.” He softened, wiggling his eyebrows. “But we’re trying to do this the right way.”
“If we were doing things the right way.” I walked over to him and put my knee between his legs. He didn’t flinch at the smell, instead looking up at me like he couldn’t believe what was happening. I couldn’t either. I hadn’t done this since...block the thought out, Trina. Don’t feel guilty about this. This man wants you to flirt with him. And you want to do it. “You wouldn’t have seduced me the first night you shifted.”
“I seduced you, hmmmm?” He pulled me down into his lap, his lips hovering just over my skin. But he didn’t kiss me. I nodded. My heart fluttered in my chest so fast I thought it might give out. “I don’t think I remember it that way,” he said.
I wanted so many things. To tell him he was wrong because I wasn’t capable of seducing anyone anymore. To beg him to kiss me, to lay me down on the floor of my living room and run his lips over every inch of my skin. But I also really, really wanted to go out to dinner with Shadow. Not just because I was starving, but because I desperately wanted to go out on a date. I wanted to feel like a woman again. Normal.
My legs could barely carry me to the bathroom, and I washed my hair twice because I was so distracted. Once I got my head on straight, it didn’t take me long to get ready. I dried my hair and put on the clothes with the least amount of animal damage. Even before the accident, I’d never been a fancy girl who wore a lot of makeup. I’d always kept things simple. Practical. A lot of good that did me. I took a good look at myself for the first time in a long time. I didn’t recognize the person in the reflection, the one with all the rolls and the dark smudges under my eyes. My hair was much longer than it had ever been, and I resisted tying it back as I did every day at the shelter. I wanted to like this woman, I just didn’t know her that well.
Shadow rose when I came back to the living room. “I like your hair down,” he said, pulling me in closer to him. Still no kiss, just a deep breath, like he intended to swallow me whole. What a tease. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it like that.”
I ducked away from him and made a beeline for the door. “It’s weird when you say things like that,” I mumbled. I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. I was into him. Totally into him. But it was overwhelming. “It’s only been a couple of days.”
“For you,” he reminded me. We’d already fallen into an easy pattern, like we knew what the other one wanted. Shadow climbed into the driver's side of my truck. “I had nothing to do but watch you the whole time I was at the shelter.” He chuckled. “That didn’t sound creepy at all.”
“No, it actually didn’t,” I admitted. It was nice to be able to watch the town come into view without worrying about, well, anything tonight. Except for this date. “It’s actually pretty sweet.”
“I think I’d prefer creepy.” Shadow laughed harder, shaking his head. “You’re going to ruin my street cred, Trina, I’m trying to...never mind.”
“You’re trying to what?” Now I was alarmed. He could be trying to be anything, with me held hostage as a passenger in my own vehicle. The Sun Valley Saloon was at the end of this street and I prayed that he’d actually turn into the parking lot. “Now you’re creepy.”
Shadow looked at me quickly, the smile gone, before turning into the parking lot. I finally exhaled. He could be as creepy as he wanted with witnesses. “I want to be alpha. I’ll have to fight for the title, and it goes against everything I stand for. But I can’t let Major take the reins and destroy order in the forest, and our chance at a future. He leads by intimidation; his brothers barely speak in his presence. And Shea, that’s the one who ran off, he’s nothing but chaos.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I think it’s worth fighting for.”
“I do too.” I put my hand over his and the smile was back. “What about running for mayor?”
“I’ve been thinking about it.” He headed toward the restaurant. “I’d still need the support of the pack to win.”
“I think you can do it.” If Shadow could get me to come out of my shell, even by the baby steps I’d taken, he could get people do t
o whatever he wanted. He might not look like a typical politician, with his long streaked hair and his leather jacket, but Granger Falls was full of hard working people that didn’t easily trust a fast talker in a suit and tie. “Let me know what I can do to help. I won’t be running for Miss Congeniality or anything, but there must be something I can do that wouldn’t hurt your chances.”
Shadow kissed my forehead as we waited for the hostess. Everyone in the restaurant gasped when we walked in—the guy who they’d all thought was dead and the weird animal lady who put a wrench in everyone’s lives by exposing the dog fights. They turned back to each other, the buzz noticeable as we walked by. But no one approached us.
If Shadow noticed, he didn’t acknowledge it. “I’m so excited to be here.” I said, looking at him over my menu. I wanted this night to be about us, our future. Not the past. “Cooking for one person sucks. I’m usually too tired to bother with anything more than a sandwich when I get home.”
Shadow raised an eyebrow when I ordered a strawberry margarita, or maybe I just imagined it. Drinking had been one of the ways I dealt with Ryan’s death. It was a way to quiet down my brain before I met Shadow. I added a T-bone steak and mashed potatoes. Shadow ordered the same thing and the way he looked at me after he handed his menu to the waitress—I had no idea how we’d make it past the appetizer.
“I have some questions for you, since we’re doing this the right way.” Shadow smirked. “Normal stuff,” he added when my eyes widened, still self-conscious about ordering the drink.
“Okay.” I was doing something I hadn’t done in a long time. Living in the moment. There was no doubt he’d ask me things that would make me squirm. But if we were going to be anything more than whatever it was we were right now—a bundle of nerves and some insane sexual tension—I had to stop running from this. “Go for it.”
“Are you from Idaho?” He started easy.
“No. I grew up in Oregon. South of Portland. I haven’t been home in a long time, but if I concentrate really hard, I can still smell the mint fields.”
“That explains the Ducks obsession.” Shadow smiled. I’d figured out a way to stream the football games on my computer, and I blasted them at the shelter every Saturday afternoon. “I’m more of a Broncos fan,” he added.
“Boise or Denver?”
“Boise, of course.” Shadow rolled his eyes and laughed like it should’ve been obvious. “And it’s my alma mater.”
I nodded. “University of Oregon is mine. What did you study?”
“Anthropology. You?”
“Marketing.” The plan had been to go work for an advertising agency or something else that normal adults did.
Shadow’s eyes widened. “Really?” I expected him to react like that and braced myself for the inevitable next question. “How’d you wind up with a shelter?”
“The degree comes in handy, believe or not. I did work in advertising for a while when I lived in Portland. The shelter is part of my recovery plan.” I took a deep breath and nodded as Shadow’s eyes widened. Time was up, I had to tell him what happened. “CAST, which is the Center for Anxiety and Stress Therapy, placed me in a shelter. I have PTSD. I know people usually associate that with soldiers coming back from active combat, but anyone who’s had a traumatic experience can suffer. I was in a car accident.” I lowered my eyes. I had to tell him. “My fiancé was killed.”
The waitress picked the most awkward time to come with our drinks. Shadow put his hand over mine, his thumb rubbing the back of my hand until she left. Maybe the timing wasn’t so horrible. The long, sweet sip of margarita soothed my brain and thwarted the imminent shutdown.
“I’m so sorry,” Shadow said softly.
“I was driving.” Instead of my lungs feeling like someone poured cement into them, I felt free. Light. Maybe it was finally time to talk about this. Or maybe it was Shadow. “I hit black ice. I didn’t realize there was anything wrong until it was too late.”
The sound the car made hitting the tree was always fresh in my mind. The dull thump of both of us hitting the windshield. The sickening crack when the airbag hit Ryan at just the right angle to snap his neck. Shadow let me continue the story. “Ryan had proposed to me that night. It was the best and the worst night of my life.”
That’s as far as I got before the sting of tears hit, the air left my lungs, and I had to hide. I covered my face in my hands and tried to make the image go away.
Shadow put his hand on my knee. I floated up from Hell back into the restaurant. “If you want to tell me about him, I’ll listen. But if you’re not ready—“
“No.” I slid my hands down my face. “That’s the most I’ve ever been able to say. I can’t talk about it. To anyone. The doctors placed me in animal assisted therapy to get me to function as a basic human being. I’d gone totally catatonic. I couldn’t take care of myself, I couldn’t process anything. The animals did the trick, to an extent. I still have a hard time with people, but animals I’m comfortable with.”
“Maybe that’s why you can talk to me.” Shadow smiled. “Because I’m a little bit of both.”
He had a good point. “What’s it like? Being both a man and a wolf?” The waitress was back, this time with salad and bread, and she side-eyed me, overhearing my question. Whatever. That’s what she got for eavesdropping. I cut the brown bread and buttered it before handing a piece to Shadow.
“It’s the best of both worlds, but extremely frustrating at the same time.” He bit into the bread and moaned. “We’re highly sensitive and tuned into things that humans aren’t. We’re stronger, quicker, and our senses are better. We see things differently, have a different value and justice system. We can’t always act on it in our human form, which can be maddening. Both humans and wolves hate change. With the growth in the town, we’re forced to be human much more than we ever were in the past, or else what’s left of our packs would dwindle even more than it has. But we can’t fully act human or act wolf. We’re still playing by old rules.”
This was fascinating. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d be eating Caesar salad with someone who wasn’t human. “Like what?”
“This generation didn’t produce an even number of males and females for a mate. All of the female wolves were sold to wealthy families. If you couldn’t afford to buy your son a wife, chances are this would be the last generation of wolves in your line.” Shadow stabbed at his salad. “But the ruling class of the packs aren’t the wealthy wolves. It’s too bloody a job, and it’s always gone to the working class wolves.”
“So you’re headed to extinction and anarchy.” It made sense why he studied anthropology. And why he’d consider running for mayor. It was a necessity if he wanted to survive. He nodded, the darkness gone from his face. “What do you think needs to be done about it?”
“We need to find human mates.” He didn’t break his gaze. And now it made sense why he was so interested in me. I won’t lie, it was a letdown. He needed a human woman, I wasn’t sure he wanted me. “The genetics won’t be the same, but we can adapt. We’ll have different strengths. At first, it’s going to be hard for everyone, but I think it would make the transitions and relations between us stronger.”
“Shapeshifter engineering, basically?” I attempted to smile, but a chill had broken out over my body that had nothing to do with my frozen margarita.
“No.” Shadow frowned. “Nothing that extreme. Although I’m sure organized science would have a field day with my vision. I’m talking about the same sort of growing pains that anyone has in a new relationship. Some things work, some don’t. Give and take. Compromise. Conquering challenges. Learning about each other.”
“Is this why you want to be...alpha?” The word felt funny coming off my tongue. We’d always talked about top dog at the shelter, and noticed the way that the animals fell into line behind their leader, but I’d never had a chance to understand why they did it.
“Yes. I want to lead by addition. Major uses fear and in
timidation, which would result in subtraction.” Shadow leaned back as the waitress brought our dinner. “In a perfect world, we’d be able to work together. Neither of us is willing to compromise. I don’t know if I can trust him.”
“Can your packs be separate?” I asked, then took a bite of my steak. I hadn’t treated myself to a meal like this since Ryan died. I could’ve gone out with the girls, but instead I insisted on punishing myself. So much of tonight reminded me of him, but in a good way. I had no idea the memories could do anything but hurt.
“We’ve been separate all along. And we’re getting smaller instead of larger. We’re fighting instead of getting better.” Shadow was already almost finished with his meal. He’d devoured it. Six months of being hungry and he didn’t let food hang around.
“What can I do to help you?” I asked. He needed humans, and he had me in his spell. “I’d always thought the weird vibe in the Falls was something I gave off; it never occurred to me that it could be the town. Now it makes a lot of sense.”
“You being here tonight helps me,” he said. My heart pounded when I met his eyes. “Maybe it wasn’t Major I needed all along. It was you.”
The rest of the dinner passed in a haze. We kept talking, but all I could concentrate on was those three words. It was you. “Do you want to take a walk?” Shadow asked. “I haven’t been downtown since I was captured.”
“I’d love that.” The night was warm and Granger Falls was gearing up for the ski season. Instead of hibernating for the winter, the town came alive. Shop owners were loading into store fronts, twinkle lights illuminated the walkways, and slivers of the pond were visible beyond the buildings. Bald Mountain stood proudly in the background, overseeing everything.
“Do you ski?” Shadow asked. We’d been walking hand in hand but he’d stopped to look at the reflection of Baldy, as we called the mountain, in the pond.
“No. It never appealed to me.” I braced myself for the inevitable how can you live in Granger Falls and not ski? Easy. I had no desire to fling myself down a mountain on greased sticks. Or volunteer to freeze my ass off.
Rescue Me (Sawtooth Shifters, #2) Page 3