"I'm not going to hurt you; I won't even touch you if you don't want me too. You need to let someone clean you up and make sure your cuts aren't bad. Do you want mommy to do it? Or do you want daddy to do it?" Hesitantly she looks up at him and a sob escapes her chest and her bottom lip quivers.
"Oh sweetheart." Hadley says calmly wiping her face. Delaney still shaking reaches out for Hadley.
"Can daddy look at your cuts?" He asks Delia again when she doesn't answer. "I take the pain away; I don't make it." He adds through sign language. It catches me off guard for a moment, I had forget he learned for my father.
To my surprise she responds with a signed, yes, leans into him and he picks her up, pee soaked and all. He reaches his hand over and wipes her face free of her tears then kisses her cheek.
"The only thing I'm worried about is my princess hurting. I love you both, I will never hurt any of you." He repeats as he pulls her in for a hug and rubs her back. She rest her head on his shoulder and her breath hitches as she tries to compose herself. He rocks her in his arms for a while and continues to rub her back and kiss her.
"You're going to be ok baby girl. You don't have to be scared anymore; I'm going to protect you for now on." He whispers to her. "No one will ever hurt my sweet girls again. I swear on my life; it is all over now." I think he comforts her so much he damn near puts her to sleep.
This is a side of Declan I'd never seen before, he's naturally paternal. It's foreign to me and quite comforting but at the same time I feel completely helpless. The entire time he kept his composure and defused the situation with Delia. I would have never expected any of this to play out as it had but I've also never seen their point of view before. I was usually too preoccupied making sure they weren't brought into the physical aspect of the abuse. I don't know if Dex has ever seen anything like this happen before and knew how to handle it or if it was just instinct but he got them to trust him in minutes.
In the kitchen he sits Delia down on the counter next to his medic bag and digs through it showing her several different items and explains each. She listens and watches everything he does as he pulls out some clean wipes, gauze, saline, band aids, and peroxide. While he's cleaning up her very mild cuts she digs through his bag pulling out more things. He doesn't even care she's making a mess of his stuff. It never would have flown with Brody. The children were to be rarely seen and never heard.
"Stickers!" She squeaks.
"You can have one as soon as I'm done, get one for Delaney too." He smiles as he finishes her up. She grabs a hand full but he takes four giving them to her and putting the rest back. She frowns at him so he kisses her forehead. "You're not the only little girl daddy saves and they all like stickers too." He puts her back down on her feet after giving her another hug and kissing her cuts. I reach for her hand and take Delaney from Hadley.
"Come on girls, I think y'all could use a big bubble bath." I utter to them. The three of us climb the stairs while Declan stays down with Hadley for a little while longer.
The girls and I pick out clothes from their closet and go to the bathroom so I can fill the tub and pull off their soiled clothes. When the tub is half full I shut off the water and help them both in. I wash them up and carefully shampoo and condition their hair.
"Can you sing us a song?" Delaney asks.
"What do you want to hear?"
"The dance one." Delia answers and Delaney agrees.
"Hmm, well, alright." I tell her and start in on their favorite song. "I hope you never lose your since of wonder......"
Kneeling on the floor next to the tub I lean my head against the wall and sing to them while they play with the bubbles occasionally joining in on the chorus. It's something that soothes them when their upset. I think it has a lot to do with me always hiding them and turning their radio up so they don't hear what's going on in the other room. "I hope you dance.... I hope you I still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.... Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance......"
When I finish the song I reach for the drain, from the corner of my eye I see him in the doorway looking on with zero expression registering. I don't know when he got there or how long he had been there watching us without a word. I hardly look at him out of shame knowing I caused that.
"Y'all want to go get lunch?" He asks from behind me. I nod and the girls both chime, "yes sir" as excited as they could muster.
"Sounds like a date." He replies with a big smile. "I'm going to go wash up, Amity."
"Okay."
"How about pizza? We can go to the old parlor on FM1431." He beams at them over my shoulder. Simultaneously they both tilt their heads at him as if he's speaking gibberish. He frowns over at me and I shrug.
"We don't eat out often. Their diet is pretty healthy. So they've never had regular pizza."
"What! You've got to be kidding me." He replies bewildered. "What other kind is there to feed them?" He laughs shaking his head as they both blanch at his words.
"I usually make it with a cauliflower crust, tons of veggies, and turkey meat." I confide. He shakes his head disbelieving again.
"Jesus! There's a difference between parenting and sheltering. I'm about to change your lives, ladies." He tells to them. "Cauliflower crust? You poor things. Do y'all know what candy is? Your mama has lost her marbles." He chuckles back to his normal self.
I pull the girls from the tub and dress them in their cutest chevron maxi dresses and jean jackets. Then I pull their hair back in matching bows, and give them their flip flops to put on. They both stay in their room and play as if nothing ever happened. I grab some of my clothes and go into Dex's room to change while he's in the shower.
It haunts me to think they have gotten so bold, they've never done that before since they usually go and hide. I can see how they would panic and become distressed but why would they run towards him screaming and hitting him. It was only a matter of time before they did that with Brody. He wouldn't have been so nice, he most likely would have hurt them.
I pull my jeans off and step into new ones and then change my shirt. I catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror deciding I could use some make up to hide these bruises. I'm thankful I had actually gotten pretty good at hiding the evidence. When I'm just about finished you could hardly tell I was wearing any and yet both my bruises were gone.
Dex comes in with a towel around his waist and another over his head while he dries his hair. I don't think I've actually seen so much of his body before, well not like this anyways.
"I have always loved listening to you sing. You're really amazing." I hardly hear him, caught off guard by the massive tattoo that goes from one wrist, up his arm, across his chest and shoulders, then down to the elbow of the other arm.
"Oh…. excuse me." I say ignoring his compliment and turn towards the door.
"Wait, don't go." He calls over to me. "Are you ok?"
"I-I uh, you need..." I stutter not able to take my eyes off him. I'm completely dumbfounded at not only his large tattoo but also his thick protruding muscles, chiseled perfectly in all the right places.
When my eyes meet his I blush. He smirks at me, I'm sure because he's reading my mind. No one looks like that and doesn't know about it. I point at him and try to say something but I can't.
"I work out." He chuckles. I shake my head. "....and I have tattoos now. I've kept them covered because I didn't know how you or the girls would react towards them." He adds. I nod but it's not just a few small tattoos. It's a whole freaking torso Mayan warrior thing.
"You're fine......they're fine......the tattoos.” I belt too loudly. “We need to talk about the girls." I blurt out trying to distract myself. I force my eyes back to his face. "I think they need therapy because I've obviously screwed them up."
"You didn't do that to them. He did and he's going to pay for hurting my daughters." He says steel-faced. "I sure as hell don't like you taking the blame for that sorry son-of-a-bitch. You didn't do anything wrong. I don't know if you s
aw it but as soon as I stood up and touched your arm, they went ballistic. They thought I was going to hurt you because Delia tripped and spilled some water and a frog they were excited to show you. By the way, we now have a pet frog loose in the living room." He point out and continues. "Everything that happened from her wetting herself and hitting me, was not your fault. None of that was. She was scared, like PTSD. They don't know me and I understand that so they don't fully trust me yet. Abuse is all they've ever known from a man. I'm going to be making huge changes where their lives are concerned and they can sense it. They just need to see they're good changes. How big was he?"
"I don't know, smaller than you." I shake my head it doesn't matter how big he was or wasn't, "Dex, they need therapy. I don't think us alone can fix that. I'm messed up too, I feel like a hypocrite trying to change them." I reply. He comes over to me and puts the towel down he was using for his hair so he could grip my hips.
"They aren't so far gone we can't fix it. All I have to do is prove that I'm not going to hurt you or them. She went to me when I told her I needed to make sure she was ok. There's something there, Amity. Not a lot, I admit but it's there. I think Delaney only panicked because Delia did and she didn't know what was happening aside from her sister being upset. If you really think it's necessary then yes, we most certainly will because you know them better than me. I think we should give it some time though." He leans in and kisses my cheek but misses and ends up kissing the corner of my mouth. He pulls back surveying my face for a response.
I place my hands on his chest feeling his warm flesh beneath my finger tips and close my eyes with yearning. He cups my cheeks in both hands, I smell his amazingly minty breath near my face but he's hesitant. I open them again and lean into him.
"Please." I whisper. Before I finish the word he's kissing me again, this time with passion and meaning. He opens his mouth slightly and my lips follow suit without command.
"God, I missed you." He mutters brushing his lips across mine. His words give me butterflies. I'd always missed him I just didn't know how much or if there were still feelings there. "Get out of here, you're distracting me." He jests.
Hazily I turn and walk from the room to find the girls still playing in theirs. They both smile up at me and show me their dolls. I walk into the room and sit down on the edge of their bed and watch them change their Barbie’s clothes at least twenty times commenting on each outfit.
"Those are my favorite." I say to them sweetly.
"He's nice." Delia says out of the blue.
"Does he scare y'all?" I ask them. They both look at each other as if sharing some sort of telepathic secret and then turn to me.
A little. Delaney signs to me embarrassed. I scoot off the edge of the bed to be closer to them and sit Indian style, clasping my hands in my lap. If they're signing it's because they are nervous and afraid someone will over hear them.
"What scares y'all about him? Do you think he's going to hurt us?" I ask nervously. They both shake their heads.
He's big and looks mean. Delia signs.
"I agree, he's big but he doesn't look mean. His size is intimidating because we are all so small it makes us fearful. Am I right?" I ask them.
Yes, Delaney replies.
"Does he make you feel like he will hurt you? Is he mean to y'all?" I ask them.
No, he's really nice and he knows our secret hand talk. Delia answers and Delaney agrees.
I'm scared to like him. Delaney offers.
"I’m scared I already more than like him." I reply honesty. "It's ok to be weary of him but I promise he will never hurt us so y'all can trust him. He's your dad and he loves you both, he will protect us. Now come on, let's go find Dex and go on that date he promised."
They gather their toys and put them in the toy-box, I get up off the floor and nearly run into Dex leaning against the door. How the hell he manages to make that look sexy all the time, I have no idea. I blush hoping he didn't hear our conversation but he doesn't lead on to having done so.
"Hey girls," he smiles and kneels down in front of them. "Y'all ready for some real food?" He looks over the top of their heads and winks at me.
Chapter 7
We pull up to a small pizzeria on the outskirts of town. Dex helps each girl out of their booster seats and I take their hands as we walk into the parlor. Dex hangs back behind us but never too far away. When I glance back at him he seems deep in thought. I don't know what he's thinking about and it worries me. Since he learned of being their father he hasn't said much to me. I know he said he wants to step up but with them being so untrusting of him I think it hurts his feelings. I wish I knew what I could do to help them see he's a good person with their best interests at heart.
A woman greets us as we walk in and directs us to a booth. They both want to sit with each-other so they slide in one side and Dex and I sit across from them. It's just as I remember, decorated in red, white, and green with Italian flags everywhere. The stone pizza cooker is in view of anyone who's in the restaurant. I love that all the pizzas are fire cooked, it adds a certain taste that you wouldn't get if it were a regular food chain. The scents of flour and various meats waft through the air making my mouth water. I had forgot how amazing this place was.
Dex places his hand on mine holding it on top of the red and white checkered table while also studying the menu. I think he's trying to show me as much affection as he can for the sake of the girls. If this is his way of gaining their trust by showing them he cares about me it's only going to confuse me in the end. I feel like I'm falling in love with him all over again and I don't want to if he's not going to love me in return.
"Hi, I'll be your server tonight. What can I get y'all to drink?" The young waitress says as she pops over to our table. I can't help but think she looks insanely familiar.
"She wants chocolate milk," I point to Delaney and then to Delia, "she wants strawberry milk and I'd like a glass of sweet tea, please." I tell her.
"Sweet tea." Dex calls out over the menu.
"I'll have that back ASAP." She says before turning and walking away. I help the girls figure out what they want to eat and then set in on deciding what I was going to have.
"Why does she look so familiar?" I mumble to myself when she walks away again.
"She should, that's Kaseton's little sister, she must have just started here because I haven't seen her in years." He replies setting down his menu. I try my best to mask my thoughts. "That's little Carly?"
"That'd be the one." He smiles.
"Didn't you have a thing for Kaseton once?" He prods. Dex had come home one summer to find I had a sort of boyfriend, his friend Kaseton in fact.
"Yea, once. As I recall you had a thing for several girls, my friends included and you're the reason he and I broke up." I utter. He nudges my shoulder.
"He's married now. You missed that train and if I remember correctly it was a hell of a kiss that broke you two up." He replies. I contort my face pretending to think on it.
"Eh, It was ok." I tease. "I'm disappointed though, I really had my hopes up for rekindling an old flame with a super hot ex." I laugh and roll my eyes when Dex snaps his mouth shut and frowns at me.
Carly comes back over to the table, I can't take my eyes off her, she's so grown up it's unbelievable. "Oh. Hey, Dexie!" She smiles. "I didn't notice that was you from behind that huge menu." He smiles kindly up at her in return.
"Carly-Sue." I utter still surprised at how gorgeous she's become. That's what I use to call her when I watched her. Her favorite movie was Curly-Sue, I'll never forget how many times she forced me to watch that movie. Her head snaps to me. "Wow, I use to babysit you."
"Oh my god, Amity!" She shrieks. "When did you get back in town? Are these your adorable little girls?"
"They're our girls." Dex corrects.
"Kaseton never mentioned anything about you having kids." Carly replies shocked looking from me to him.
"Kaseton didn't know." He answers flatly.
&
nbsp; "Well, he's about to find out. The latest crew is about to walk in. What can I get y'all for lunch, before those pigs clear us out?" She asks kindly. We all give her our orders and she quickly jots them down. "We're going to have to hang out sometime." She says excitedly.
"Yea, that would be nice." I reply. She smiles and then leaves us to give our requests to the cook before she greets the fireman at the door.
I lean my head on his shoulder and he kisses the top of my head. The hustle and bustle around us in the small town pizzeria is calming. I love being back home but having to introduce the girls as mine and Declan's instead of just mine is going to be tough to explain.
"Damn, I really wanted to date a fireman." I pout. Six large men walk past us and are seated in a corner booth two tables down directly in front of us.
"I can do you one better, I'm a Chief and a paramedic." He laughs.
"You're right, Chief is so much better, I'm all about the rank." I tease him. "Thanks again for everything you've been doing Dex, and I'm so sorry about..."
"Don't apologize again, Amity. Not for that. Look at them, they're happy again and it didn't go as they expected it so it's ok." He reassures.
The girls are quietly coloring across the table from me while he takes turns playing tic tac toe with them. A couple of the guys from the fire station keep looking over in our direction. Some of them look familiar but I can't put names to faces.
"What's up Chief? Why didn't you come in today? You playing hooky?" One of the guys calls out. Dex looks up and nods his head once at them as if to say hello and acknowledge them all.
"Not much. Got some unexpected visitors and had to take my vacation early." He replies. "Did I miss anything exciting?"
"Yea, there was a hell of an accident this morning off Mills Road everyone was called in. One DOA and two Heli Med-Evac’s." The guy calls back. I look up at Dex wondering how they talk about it so casually. Someone died and they act as if it's a daily occurrence. Then again, I guess where they're concerned it probably is a daily occurrence.
Insufferable Weight of Silence Page 8