"Joe! You were with him yesterday! This is bullshit and you know it.” I point out. He looks back at me apologetically. Calmly Dex turns and slowly puts his hands behind his back complying with the officers. He studies my face but doesn't say anything.
"What am I suppose to tell our daughters? This is ridiculous!" I raise my voice again.
"Amity go in the house." Dex says sternly. "I'll be out before you know it. Just go back in the damn house and make sure the girls don't see this. Call Hadley too and tell her to phone Kase’s brother, dad, and Mr. Blackwell." Officer Hayden turns Declan away from me and laces one of his arms through Dex's as well as Joe to stable him as they walk him to the police car. I turn and go into the house slamming the door shut as hard as I can. Then quickly search for my phone and making sure the girls did as I asked. I find it on my nightstand and dial her number.
"Hadley," I sob into the phone.
"Hey honey. What's going on?" She asks.
"They just arrested Declan for Brody's death. What in the world is going on? You have to go get him out, he also wants you to call Clifton, Judge Ingram, and Mr. Blackwell." I cry. "One of the arresting officers is a trainer, this doesn't make sense."
"Calm down Amity. Dad is working for Judge Ingram and Clifton today so I'll give him a call. They don't have any other leads. They're just doing their job. I'll be there in a little bit to drop off Giana and then go check on him. Don't cause any trouble." She says annoyed and hangs up the phone. Is she seriously annoyed with me?
Not too much time passes before Giana walks in the door and gives me a hug, "did they see anything?" She asks. I shake my head no.
"I just told them he went out with his friends. What am I suppose to do if he doesn't come home? He didn't do it." I cry. She finally releases me. "I know, Hun. Everything will be fine. Just relax. Jesus, you come into town and all hell breaks loose." She teases. "We haven't seen this much action in I don't know how long."
"Geez, thanks G." I frown at her.
"You're welcome." She laughs. "He'll will be fine. If he didn't do it they won't have anything to charge him with."
"He didn't do it! We were together all day! I think I would know if my husband killed my ex boyfriend!" I point out.
"I'll be right back." I say and jump up from my spot on the couch. I ran up the stairs and into the bedroom to find Declan's phone. I turn it on and check his messages, who the heck was he talking to last night when he was talking to Jeremy. I scroll through them, nothing that would cause any alarm. Kaseton was the only person he messaged yesterday.
11:46 am
Kaseton- Hey bro. Sorry about the shit Lily caused Amity.
Declan- No worries.
Kaseton- That's some sick shit.
Declan- Sure is but she's resilient. She'll be ok.
Kaseton- Yea bro. Take care of our girl.
Declan- You know it.
3:18pm
Kaseton- Sorry I couldn't make it, was tied up in a bout of my own. Congrats.
Declan- You're good, bro. How'd Lily take it?
Kaseton- She ran with it as expected. Good riddance to her.
Declan- Ha! I guess you gotta get Jason to be your wingman now, go find yourself a rebound.
Kaseton- Already on it. Good luck tonight! Video it.
9:02pm
Kaseton- Tattoo time?
Declan- Do you even have to ask?
Kaseton- Hell yea! We got lots to celebrate. See you soon.
I sit his phone down feeling relieved. They were just talking about tattoos. I don't know why I even felt the need to look. Do I think there's a possibility that he did it? No he couldn't have. I was with him all day except for when he went and got more of his tattoo done. Apparently it's some after fight ritual. I return to the girls noting they both looked exhausted but they can't nap yet.
"Y'all want a snack?" I ask. I need something to take my mind off what's going on. They both nod and follow me into the kitchen where I prepare their snacks and sit them at the table with the help of Giana. I'm still a wreck but feel like I'm holding myself together considering.
They finish their food and Giana takes them upstairs and reads them a story while I clean up their plates. By the time she's comes downstairs I've done cleaned the kitchen and straightened up the living room.
"Damn Amity, you want to go stress clean my house?" She asks. "Hadley is a pig, god knows we could use a maid or something just for her." I laugh and waive her off. I can't sit still I have too much running through my mind. The one person I would turn to in a time like this is the one person I can't turn to because he's in jail.
"Sit down Amity, you're making me dizzy." She barks at me.
"I can't." I whine. "Have you heard anything? Has Hadley called you?"
"No, and I don't think she will. It's only been a couple hours." She replies.
"Should I call her or go down there?" I ask impatiently.
"No, or she'll be in jail for murdering you and Dex wouldn't be happy if that happened and neither would I." She flashed her left hand at me. "I still don't have a ring or kids and you have two of each." She grins.
"You know, you're really annoying." I laugh at her.
"So I've been told." She replies.
It's dark outside by the time the front door is pushed open. Declan walks in exhausted and pulls me into him. He wraps me into a tight hug and doesn't let me go for a long time.
"What's going on Dex?" I ask into his chest. "That really scared me. I've been a wreck all day. No one told me anything."
"I'll tell you everything after we have a shower." He replies. "How were the girls?" He asks as we walk up to the bedroom.
"They were fine. I told them you were with friends." I reply. He turns and looks at me. "Technically I didn't lie. You knew Joe, apparently."
He pulls me into the room and runs his hands down to the hem of my shirt and lifts it over my head as I unbutton his jeans and push them down. We switch as I pull off his shirt and he does my jeans. I lean into him and kiss his chest while he unclasps my bra.
"Come on, baby." I say pulling him into the bathroom. "Let me wash you up and make you feel better." I start the water and pull him in with me when it's warm enough.
"You have no idea how much I need this." He whispers. He runs his hand up my back to my hair and tugs gently I lean up on my tip toes to kiss his neck and make my way up to him mouth.
I grab the soap and lather my hands before running them down his shoulders and chest. He kisses my jaw and grabs a hand full of my ass.
"They believe it was self inflicted." He mutters when I think he was asleep. I lift my head and rest it on my hand on his chest so I can look at him.
"What was?" I ask. He places one arm around my back and rests it on my hip and the other he props his head up with it.
"Brody's death. They say he shot himself, they found a note. Joe, Hayden, and Charles brought me in for questioning because he was beaten prior to his suicide. They thought maybe I had done it to him but it was at the same time we were getting married."
"What? That's insane." I protest.
"Amity, I know why they thought it. I don't hold it against them it's just what they do." He says.
Brody would never kill himself. He's not that kind of person. I'm surprised to catch myself actually thinking this. I know it sounds crazy but Brody was the one who inflicted pain on others not on himself. It just doesn't make sense that he would do that. The fact still remains someone did beat him and the note. I'm curious about what it says.
"Who did it, Dex?" I ask. I know he knows. He let's out a huff of air.
"It wasn't me." He replies. The way he's acting even if he didn't do it, I know he knows. He's just not telling me. I lean up and kiss him before curling back onto my side in the nook of his arm.
"Sure one of our friends isn't going to prison?"
"No one is going to prison they were all at the wedding. He killed himself. Now go to sleep." His oddly calm behavior this morning while he wa
s getting arrested and his insanely needy mood when he got home irks me. I feel like there's something he's not telling me. I don't think he beat him because he's been with me since he learned of Brody being here. Someone did though and I'd just like to know who.
*****
I woke early letting Dex sleep in. If Brody is dead, I don't have anything to worry about anymore. Not only do I want to get my girls, I'm on a mission. I'm going to figure out Brody's killer, more so because I'm curious. I know Brody all to well, he would have never pulled the trigger on his own fate. I dressed for the day, leave a note for Dex, and walked out the door.
I pulled up outside the building not realizing how nervous I'd actually be. I pushed to door open of my brand new SUV and shakily got out. After having gone to talk to Joe this morning to get the authorization persuading them they need to properly ID the body, here I am. His only qualm was that I didn't need to see him like he was. I was adamant, so here we are.
As much as I would have liked to do this on my own Joe refused. I watch him pull his squad car up next to mine and put it in park. When he stepped out he towered over me. I could see on his face he didn't like the idea.
"Declan is going to be pissed Mrs. Xylander." Joe says for the millionth time.
"If it's all the same to you, I'll deal with my husband." I reply steel-faced.
"After everything he put you through, why do you want to see him?" He asks as he opens the mortuary door for me. I enter before him and politely thank him for the chivalry.
"I want to make sure it's really him and that he's dead so I can move on with my life."
"I could have told you that from the mug shot and my own ID." He points out.
"I'm sure you could have, Officer Drayton, but you don't know what he put me through." He goes to open his mouth. I hold my hand up. "I'm not talking physically. I know you've seen the reports."
"Yes ma'am." He nods. The woman at the front desk stands and eyes both Joe and I.
"How may I help you today?" She asks sweetly.
"I'm officer Drayton and this is Amity Xylander. We're here to ID the Jensen body." Joe says smoothly. She walks around the desk and gestures for us to follow.
"Right this way, please. I thought another gentleman already ID'd the body?" She asks curiously leading us down a hall. "A Deacon something or other?" I glare up at the Joe to my side rather angry and he looks at me from the corner of his eye. I know she meant Declan.
Joe places his hand on my lower back and pushes me forward. The receptionist pushes through two huge double doors. She finds the person I'm assuming is the mortician and informs him of why we're here. He also mentions he thought the body had already been ID'd.
"I'm his ex girlfriend. The person who previously ID'd him didn't know him like I had. Now may I please...." I say extremely frustrated.
The doctor nods in my direction and he guides us to a massive wall with lots of perfectly lined small doors in a large open white room that smelled of bleach and formaldehyde. He slowly opens one with the name Jensen scrawled across a piece of masking tape.
"Professional." I mutter amused. The doctor notes my tone.
"They aren't here long, sweetheart." He replies. He pulls out a long tray with a body bag on it then carefully unzips it down to the neck. I inhale sharply and let it out in a rush.
"More." I say and the doctor hesitates.
"Do as she asks." Joe says calmly. He pulls the zipper down to below the torso. Brody is wearing blood soaked jeans but no shirt. I can see where old blood has pooled under the skin leaving dark bruises all over his abdomen, chest, arms, neck, and face. He's already had the autopsy so his chest cavity is haphazardly stapled shut.
"At the time of death he had a Blood/Alcohol level of .31 that alone should have killed him but he's a big guy." The examiner informs us. He conditioned his liver a long time ago. For as long as I could remember he got completely and utterly inebriated so it doesn't surprise me. I could always tell when he was going to beat me because of it.
"Mrs. Xylander?" Joe asks worried.
I look up at him probably as pale as I've ever been then turn back to Brody. He wasn't just beaten he was mauled. I don't see how the person who did this didn't kill him.
"Where did he shoot himself?" I ask nervously not seeing an entrance hole. With a gloves finger the doctor points under his chin. I look and sure enough, there it was. Point blank as close as you could put it, about the size of a dime. I don't know why but I start to cry and laugh at the same time.
"Mrs. Xylander I need a positive ID to close the case for good." Joe says placing his arm on my shoulder and pulling me into him. The tears of joy and relief flowed freely down my cheek as I rested my face on his chest. "It's him, it's Brody Jensen." I cried. "I'm glad he suffered as I had." I add continuing to cry.
"Alright, that's enough." Joe whispers with a cracking voice, he's obviously affected by my words. I watch as the doctor zips him back up and pushes him back into the freezer then locks the door back.
"What's going to happen to him now?" I ask regaining myself.
"We're waiting for a family member to come forth and claim his body so we can send him back to Georgia." The doctor says.
"He doesn't have any. Can I make the decision?" I ask hopeful.
"If no one steps forth in the next three days then yes. If you leave your number with the receptionist, I'll give you a call." He replies.
"Burn him, poor his ashes out in the trash, don't call me." I say as I wipe the tears from my face and walk towards the door.
"I'll still need to call for protocol." He says as I push the door open.
"Screw your protocol, that man beat me and raped me in front of my six-year-old twin daughters. His family hated him and he never could keep a friend. No one is going to call." I walk through the door and pass up the receptionist.
*****
I walk into Hadley's and Giana's house surprised to see Jeremy and Kaseton there as well as Dex. Kaseton is on the floor playing a board game with Giana and the girls. His back is too me but I know it's him. Hadley, Dex, and Jeremy are at the kitchen table sitting in front of a box of files, folders, and stacks of papers.
"Hey Kase. Hello lovely ladies." I beam at them. I walk past them because they're too determined to win to pay attention to me just yet. "Hey Amity." Kaseton calls out to me.
When I enter the kitchen Hadley and Dex are hurriedly putting the items back in the box. I walk over to Dex and he kisses me on the cheek.
"How was your morning?" He asks.
"Freeing." I reply.
"What are y'all doing?" I ask looking around at nothing in particular.
"Going over an insurance fraud case." Hadley says tucking in the last folder and placing the lid on the box.
"Someone set their house on fire for the money." Jeremy added. "She asked Dex and I to give our opinion." He added.
"Mm, sounds boring." I say wrinkling my nose. "Y'all have plans today?" I ask everyone. They all shrug and shake their heads. "We should all do something."
"Yea, I could use some fun." Hadley smiles.
"Me too." I say matter of fact.
Dex takes the box and places it on the counter. Then comes back over to us. For several seconds it seems all to quiet and honestly kind of odd. The mood in the house shifted once I walked through the door.
"I'm going to go to the store. Let's throw a BBQ and invite everyone over." I tell them and go to pull an envelope from my purse noticing a piece of scrap paper on the floor. I pull out the envelope and bend down to pick up the paper catching some of the words. When I see what it is I hide it behind the envelope and look at them all staring at me.
“I got my test scores back." I grin and put both the piece of paper and envelope back in my purse.
"I PASSED!" In turn they each give me hugs and congratulate me.
"That's fantastic, babe. You're right, it calls for a celebration. We can all meet back at the house." Dex grins.
"Sounds good." I smile
and leave them to their secrets stopping at Kase on the way out.
Kaseton looks up at me with a smile that falters. I look across from him to my daughters. I know I have nothing to worry about because he loves them. Dex places his hand on my shoulder and I lean into it brushing my cheek across his knuckles. 'Declan's girl' I mouth to Kaseton. Panic washes across his face but he quickly covers it with a smile.
Still looking at Kaseton I smile, "I believe we owe Declan a BBQ for winning his title fight." I inform him and he nods back at me. "Um," I swallow hard. "I went to the morgue." Kaseton's eyebrows shot up. "I had to see him for myself. So....." I pause. "It was him. I also got my grade back for my nursing license. I passed with flying colors." I half smile. "Dex is going to take the girls home. I have some shopping to do and then we can all celebrate. We got lots to celebrate, see you soon." Kaseton stands up and looks behind me at Dex.
"Yea, we'll see you soon." Dex replies huskily from behind me. I turn back to look at Jeremy and Hadley behind me with confusion on their faces.
"I'll see y'all at the house." I lean up on my toes and kiss Declan.
"Elephant shoes."
I'm regretful of the decisions
I've made in my life. I should
Have known better than to mess
With Declan's girl. From the
outside looking in you've only
ever been, Declan's girl. I was just
the only guy stupid enough to try.
I hope one day I will be forgiven.
-Brody
I read the note over and over until I have it memorized and then I repeat in my head a least a thousand more times by the time I make it back to the house with the groceries. Declan's girl. I've only ever been called Declan's girl one other time. When I arrive I'm met by Dex and Kaseton at my SUV. I look at each of them calmly. They know I know.
"I should have known better than to mess with Declan's girl. From the outside looking in you've only ever been, Declan's girl. I was just the only guy stupid enough to try." I recite the suicide note and the conversation I had with Kaseton when we broke up. Their jaws hit the floor.
Insufferable Weight of Silence Page 21