by Melody Anne
“Yes. I’m surprised Rafe didn’t tell you. I’m the lead on this one. It looks as if we’ll have plenty of time to catch up.”
The wicked glint in his eyes left no doubt he was very much looking forward to being stuck on a nearly deserted island with her. Lia had two options. She could either suck it up and do her job, or she could cry about her misfortunes and walk from the room.
Never had Lia been a quitter. With a small glare sent Shane’s way, she addressed the rest of the partners involved.
“First, I’d like to start by saying…”
Lia missed the determined glint in Shane’s eyes, and the way Rafe looked at both of them. If she had known what she was about to get into, she might have taken this opportunity to run.
Chapter Thirty-Five
It was all or nothing. Ari knew he cared — he was just afraid of being in a real relationship. That’s what his family members said. He wouldn’t have said the things he’d said, made love to her. She knew it wasn’t just sex. Perhaps he wasn’t in love with her, but he had feelings.
What he’d said the night before had been him protecting his heart. That was her hope. She knew he could really be finished with her, but if there was even the slightest chance of him loving her, she had to give it a try. So much for her fine words to herself about walking away!
Slipping into the nightie she’d splurged on, then sitting at her vanity as she carefully applied her makeup, Ari couldn’t help the fluttering in her heart. The night was going to go either very well, or horribly wrong.
Yet it ultimately didn’t matter how the night turned out. She needed to tell him the truth, and more important, she needed to know whether he did have feelings for her. If not, it was better for her to know now.
He’d summoned her to his home for the employment talk. He’d had a full night and day to think about what he’d said. Was he rethinking his feelings? He surely wouldn’t bring her there just to let her go, would he? Wouldn’t it make more sense to meet at a neutral place, such as a café? She’d known from the beginning not to fall in love with him, but how could she not?
She’d gone from loathing him, to understanding him, to caring. Now, she had no doubt she loved him. She couldn’t explain when it had happened, but somewhere in the middle of their battles, a door had opened, and over their time together, that gap continued widening until she was at the point that she couldn’t stand back and hide the way she felt anymore.
Putting on her long coat, Ari stood from her vanity and cast a final look in the mirror. She wasn’t trying to be a seductress, but she needed to feel good about herself. She needed to take her destiny into her own hands.
If he denied her love, then at least she would know she wasn’t a coward, at least the door could have a chance of shutting again. Ari refused to give up on love. Never. Even if she wasn’t destined to be with the man she loved, she knew love was real, knew the emotion was strong and pure.
Ari knew she wouldn’t turn into a bitter soul, blaming every man out there for the actions of one. That was a fault that Rafe had to live with, and until he realized that the heart wasn’t something to abuse or toy with, they didn’t have a chance. She only hoped he’d managed to heal what had been broken before he’d ever met her.
Grabbing her purse, Ari slipped on her stiletto sandals and made her way to her front door. She smiled as she thought about her beautiful red lace nightgown. She felt sleek and feminine, even sexy, underneath the soft fabric, giving her that boost of confidence to say to Rafe what she needed to say.
Feeling almost like a teenager sneaking out into the night, Ari made her way to the elevators, then pushed the lobby button. Rafe’s trusted assistant, Mario, was picking her up, and she was grateful — she was too nervous to be behind the wheel of a car.
As she stepped outside, the cool wind blowing in off the bay gave her instant goose bumps. The nightie was sensual and sleek, yes, but it offered no protection as the wind climbed beneath her coat and instantly chilled her.
“Good evening, Ms. Harlow. How are you tonight?”
“I’m very well, Mario. I’m sorry to have you dragged out on such a cold evening.”
“It’s never an inconvenience to pick up such a lovely woman,” he answered with a smile as he held the door open. “It’s nice and warm inside.”
“Thank you, Mario,” Ari said after he climbed into the driver’s seat. The two of them chatted for a few moments, and then Ari turned to look out the window and collect her thoughts.
The closer they came to Rafe’s home, the more nervous she became. Could she do this — lay her heart on the line? There was a good chance he’d reject her love, not because he didn’t want it, but because he was too stubborn to accept it.
Then again, maybe all the emotions were simply in her head. Maybe he didn’t really care about her the way she thought he did. What if she were just wrong about it all?
After they’d pulled through his security gate and Mario came around the car to open her door, Ari nearly asked him to drive her back home. She wondered if he would do that — it was almost worth asking just to see his face.
But no. Ari accepted his hand as he assisted her from the car.
“Have a wonderful evening, Ms. Harlow. I’ll be waiting if you need me.”
His words engendered more nerves than relief. Mario knew more than anyone that Rafe didn’t spend the night with his mistresses. Mario had been the one to take her home in the middle of the night once when Rafe was through with her.
The ugly thought had her again wondering what she was doing. How many times did she have to be a fool before it sank in that he was incapable of love?
As she stepped through his doorway, noting the dim lights on throughout the house, she drew her shoulders up. If it was a fool she had to be to either gain love or set herself free, then a fool she’d be.
There was no sign of Rafe downstairs, so she made her way up his wide staircase, her heart racing. Why wasn’t he there to greet her? She was too agitated to feel the full force of his rudeness, but a glimmer of his neglect penetrated her brain.
Having been to Rafe’s home only twice, she was a little unsure of the way, but there was a single door open on the floor, with a soft light shining from within. She slowly made her way toward it.
Peeking in the doorway, Ari discovered Rafe sitting in a chair by the window. Unwilling to hurry, she took a moment to look around; yes, it was his bedroom. He seemed so solemn as he gazed out at the stars that she wasn’t sure whether she should say anything. But he’d been the one to call her over, so he must know she was coming.
“Rafe?”
His shoulders stiffened at the sound of her voice — not a good sign. A couple of seconds passed before he stood and turned to face her. The blank look on his face showed her nothing of what he was thinking. Her nerves jumped another level as he stepped toward her. It felt as if her knees weren’t going to hold her up any longer, so without being asked, Ari walked over to his large bed and sat on the edge.
He stilled as if uncertain what to do about her sitting there. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t spent many hours in various beds with him. Was he really so opposed to her sitting on his?
“I’m sorry, Ari. I meant to meet you downstairs. The time got away from me,” he said in an expressionless voice that sent a shiver of apprehension down her spine.
“That tends to happen to me at times, too” she tried to joke, but in the ominous atmosphere her attempt fell flat.
“Thank you for meeting me here. We need to finish our talk from the other night.”
“Yes, Rafe, we do. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking —”
Rafe interrupted her before she could say what she needed to. “I don’t want to drag this out, Ari. Our time is up. I’ll have you reinstated at your old job with no questions asked. I agree with you that it would just be too awkward to have you working right in the Palazzo building here. As for your home, it’s yours. You have no need to move. Monday morning I will hav
e my attorney start the paperwork to transfer the title. Also, I already have a bank account set up for you with a substantial fund that should take care of you for many years to come.”
Ari sat there as she received blow after blow from his words. She didn’t care about any of this. She wanted neither his money nor his condo. She’d made it just fine her entire life without him, and she would make it again after he was gone.
What she wanted to do right now was make a dignified exit from the room. She stood up and nearly did just that. Wasn’t it more than obvious that he wanted her purged from his life?
No. She’d come there to say something, and she’d always regret it if she didn’t get the chance. He might be saying goodbye to her, but if this was her last night seeing Rafe, then she needed him to know how she felt.
“Rafe, I love you. I know you warned me not to care. I know I broke the rules, but I can’t help it that my heart has opened to you. I can’t contain what I’m feeling. I understand that you’re telling me goodbye, but I have to say this. I have to let you know that somewhere in the middle of all this madness, I fell for you. I don’t want to let you go, not today, tomorrow or ever. I want you to let me love you.”
Never had Ari said that to a man before. Never had she opened herself up so far. He could rip her in half right now, and there would be nothing she could do to stop it. She had never imagined how frightening it would feel to be so vulnerable.
Rafe stood before her, not showing a hint of what he was feeling. As he quietly gazed at her, Ari’s heart stopped. She didn’t know whether his silence was a good or bad thing. Would he accept what she was offering him?
Finally, his lips turned up in the smallest hint of a smile, and hope surged through her. He didn’t seem angry — that was a positive sign. If he truly gave them a chance, she knew they could be happy together.
When he remained silent, a shimmer of fear tried crawling in, but she suppressed it. He was just surprised, that was all. He’d been trying to tell her goodbye, and she was telling him she loved him. That would give anybody human pause, wouldn’t it?
“Ari…”
Without realizing she was even doing so, Ari felt her body stiffen. She’d laid it all out there and she could hear the sound of rejection in his tone. With one word, she knew it was over. How could she have been so wrong?
“You don’t need to say it, Rafe. You told me from the beginning that this would never be more than an affair. I was the one who broke the rules. I apologize for that.” Ari was relieved when her voice came out sounding just about as cold as his did.
“Do not presume to know my thoughts, Ari. I can speak for myself,” he snapped, real emotion appearing in his tone for the slightest moment before he once again made his expression blank. He took a step toward her.
“I’m going to leave now.” Ari turned as his hand reached for her. She looked at his grasping fingers, then up into his chilling eyes.
“It doesn’t need to be this way. I’ve planned on ending this, but I’ve been satisfied with you as my mistress. We can forget all about this emotional dilemma and go back to the way things have been.”
Again, his voice sounded almost dead, as if he didn’t care what happened, or what she did.
“Is it so much easier for you to keep screwing the girl you’re familiar with than to go through your application process all over again? Contrary to what you may think of me, Rafe. I’m not a whore, and I’m no longer for sale. Take what you want from me and my mother — I just don’t care about any of it.”
Ari was done with his game. She was done with his brutal ambivalence toward her, the way he blew hot or cold but nothing in between. She’d fallen in love with him, though she didn’t see how, and now she was standing before him completely disillusioned.
“Would you like to see something, Rafe? Look at what I wore for you.” She tore off her coat and revealed the nightgown beneath, the lacy fabric skimming her curves, hinting boldly at her womanly treasures. The only treasures from her that he’d seemed to value throughout their months of intimacy. “Look at it. I paid a fortune for this frivolous confection of lace. And why? To speak to you in the only way you seem to appreciate. Sex… And submission.”
“Ari, please…”
“No, Rafe. I am finally able to tell you my feelings, and they’re not the ones I would have thought. Here they are. What I did disgusts me. And you disgust me. We are both better than our actions suggest, but I’m not sure I can forgive you, or myself. Still, I will walk away with my head held high because I loved you honestly, and because I am leaving you honestly. I am leaving you so I can do what I should have been doing all along. I refuse to submit to you or to any man who does not submit to me. Openly, honestly, and lovingly.”
Ari picked up her long coat and shrouded herself in it. Rafe still sat there unmoving, silent and grim. She knew somewhere inside, she was hurting, but she pushed that away. Too many women allowed a man to upend their lives — abuse them — neglect them — treat them as if they were beneath them. That was over for her.
When Ari resumed speaking, her tone had changed from defiant to sad. “And you, Mr. Palazzo? As long as you continue to blame all women for the wounds inflicted by one, you’ll never be the man you should be. You’ll never truly live your life. And I pity you.”
“Ari. I’ll say it again. It doesn’t need to be this way.”
“Yes it does, Rafe. Goodbye.”
This time when she pulled her arm, he released her, and Ari walked from his room with as much dignity as she could muster. She knew that pain would eventually set in, but for now she felt an odd sense of numbness protecting her shattered heart.
She was free to go. To her greatest surprise, she realized that she didn’t want that freedom she’d so coveted more than three months ago. She wanted him to be somebody that he wasn’t. She wanted the man who had danced on a quiet balcony with her, laughed at a stupid joke, and made her stretch her wings and fly. He was in there…somewhere, but she now realized she couldn’t reach him. Holding her head high, she walked through the door and straight down the steps, making her way outside, where she found the car still waiting.
Rafe must have told Mario not to leave. He’d known she wouldn’t be there long.
“Ms. Harlow, I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon,” Mario said with surprise as he came jogging out from a side door. “I was just getting ready to park the car for the evening.”
“Please take me home,” she said in a firm voice. She didn’t wait for him to open the door, but gripped the handle and flung it open.
“But, Ms. Harlow —”
“Please, Mario. I want to leave now. You can either drive me, or I’m walking.” She didn’t care how she left, but she was getting the hell out of there.
“Yes, Ms. Harlow,” he said before shutting her door and going around to the driver’s side. He started the engine and the car rolled forward. Ari thought she heard her name, but ignored it. It was time to pick up the pieces of her life and move on.
She didn’t notice Rafe running down the stairs after them. Soon, she was pulling farther away from him…too far for him to catch her.
Epilogue
Six months later
“I thought I’d find you here.”
Rafe slowly turned around and gave Shane a semblance of a smile. Of course he was at Ari’s graduation. She hadn’t spoken to him in six months, but he couldn’t get her from his mind. This was a momentous occasion for her, and he had to be there.
“Why are you here, Shane?”
“Because I knew your stubborn, opinionated, stealthy sister would be here and unable to run from me.”
“She’s still refusing to talk to you? I find that amusing,” Rafe said, smiling for the first time in months.
“You know I got called back to South America. She’s refused my calls, and for the past week since I’ve been home, she’s managed to avoid me at every turn. I know how close she’s become with Ari, so I’ve finally corn
ered her. It was either this or wait until next year, when I have her trapped on a private island during the Gli Amanti Cove groundbreaking. I’m not that patient.”
“Good luck.”
“Has Ari spoken to you?”
“Not a word. After the first month, I decided to give her some time. She refused her old job, moved from the condo, and went back to school. I may have to admit I was wrong about her. She hasn’t even touched a dime of the severance money I set up for her, though she’s a fool not to.”
“Why? She seems to be doing just fine on her own.”
“She’s been working at a small café for the past six months. It’s ridiculous! A woman like her, with her talents, her intelligence, her beauty…”
“And her integrity? Not everyone is as greedy as your ex-wife, Rafe. Haven’t you figured that out by now?”
“I’m beginning to see that. It may just not be enough.”
“I know the feeling. Man, you do not want to defy Lia. That girl holds a grudge.”
Rafe laughed at the desperate look on his best friend’s face. Rafe knew more than anyone how stubborn both of his sisters could be.
The two men sat in the back row as Ari walked to the podium and accepted her diploma. Rafe could hear her mother’s cheers all the way from the front row. His sisters were just a decibel level quieter than Sandra.
As Ari turned toward her cheering section, she graced them with one of her award-winning smiles and Rafe’s gut clenched.
He missed her — far more than he could have ever imagined missing someone.
As he watched the diplomas being bestowed, he sat in a comfortable silence with Shane. Once the ceremony was over, he tracked Ari with his eyes, making sure not to lose sight of her. Finally, when she was alone, he made his approach.
“Congratulations, Ari.” The stiffening of her shoulders was his only clue that she’d heard him above the many voices surrounding them. Slowly, she turned, for one brief instant with a slight smile upon her lips before it melted away.