Maybe there was a subconscious part of him that had known it wasn’t meant to work out between them, either.
Natalie knew the bigger truth of it, though—there was a difference between driving to the city and being there for brief stints and uprooting one’s life to live there. Jason wasn’t about to walk away from his home and his business—from his identity—to become someone he didn’t recognize. Just as his parents still had ties to Port Landon long after they had moved into the city to be closer to Bettina’s doctors, Jason had ties to the town as well, and those ties were wrapped tightly around his heart, keeping him whole.
Natalie had realized he wouldn’t leave before he realized she wouldn’t stay. Jason could only thank the heavens above that their split hadn’t been messier or more complicated than it needed to be, and that she had willingly remained close enough that he could still be in Carlie’s life as much as he was. He would be grateful to her for that forever.
‘I know she’s not Natalie.’ It was easier to focus on that part of his mother’s monologue. ‘But that doesn’t change the fact that Lily is leaving. Or that I’ve only known her about a week.’
Ten days, he immediately corrected himself, but who’s counting?
Jason looked out the window, hoping to see his father’s SUV across the road in the apartment complex’s parking lot. Roderick Forrester was a man of reason, not to mention a man of few words in many circumstances. Jason should have known his mother had something up her sleeve when she sent him out to the store for milk so close to supper being ready.
Clarity dawned on Bettina’s face, and she rounded the end of the kitchen counter that separated the kitchen from the dining room, hands on her hips. ‘Is that what this is really about?’ she asked. ‘That you haven’t known her long enough for it to make sense? Oh, Jason, there isn’t enough time in this crazy world to make love make sense.’
His hands flew up, though as a halting gesture or in surrender, he wasn’t sure anymore. ‘Slow down. No one said a thing about love.’
She winked, and it was the most uplifting and terrifying thing he had ever seen.
Shaking his head, Jason straightened the napkins on the table and set about placing the salad bowl in the middle of the spread. ‘You don’t understand.’ He didn’t look at her. ‘You and Dad knew each other since you were kids.’
‘And you think that made falling in love easier?’ Bettina stepped back around the counter and turned the dial on the stove, lowering the heat of the burner to let the soup simmer. Then, she took a seat at the table, fixing her son with an incredulous gaze. ‘I knew your father around town, yes, but we didn’t socialize in the same circles, Jason. He’s four years older than I am, and that’s a lot when you’re a teenager. We knew each other in passing, but nothing more.’
‘But you knew each other,’ he insisted, driving his point home.
His mother steepled her fingers in front of her. ‘Let me ask you something. How much do you know about, say, Krista Belton?’
Bewildered, Jason shrugged. ‘Not much, really. The usual stuff, I guess.’ He’d gone to school with Krista from kindergarten onward, and the woman now worked at her father’s insurance office on Main Street, a closet-sized office attached to the bank.
‘But you’ve known her your whole life,’ she pushed.
‘That’s different. I’m not interested in Krista.’ Jason could have choked on his own tongue.
Unfortunately, his mother’s Cheshire cat grin was already in place. ‘And maybe that’s because you don’t really know Krista. The spark isn’t always evident from a distance, Jason. It wasn’t until I was talked into going to the county fair with your aunt and her friends—all of whom quickly ditched me after I said I wasn’t going on that confounded Ferris wheel—and wound up on a bench with only my coveted cotton candy to keep me company. Your father was alone when he walked by that bench, having just been stood up by his friends, too. He asked if I was all right. That was it, all it took. I’d known him for more than seventeen years, but I met him—the real him—that day.’
‘I had no idea.’ Awestruck, he stared at his mother, seeing her through different eyes. ‘I always thought you guys just … always loved each other. That it was love at first sight.’ It sounded naïve, even to his own ears.
‘It was,’ she said, nodding. ‘From that day forward, we haven’t looked back. We knew, then. It just took all those years to get to the point where we saw each other for who we actually were, not who we saw from afar.’
Jason simply shook his head. ‘Do I dare ask what this has to do with me?’
His mother’s head tilted slightly, taking him in with all the warmth and sympathy awarded to a timid stray kitten. ‘I don’t live with regrets, you know that. Regrets don’t do anybody any good. But if I had to say I regretted anything in my life, Jason, it’s that I would have found your father sooner so I could have loved him longer.’ She reached a hand out and found her son’s fingers, squeezing them with a strength that belied her age. ‘There’ll never be enough days in this life for me to love that man the way he deserves, and I can only pray that you’ll let yourself meet someone—and I mean really meet them—so that you know what it’s like to love like that.’ A ghost of a smile pulled at her mouth. ‘Besides, you’re already interested in what you do know of Lily. You’re halfway there.’
Halfway where, exactly? He didn’t get the chance to ask. Humming a bluesy jazz tune, Roderick Forrester opened the door, milk jug in hand.
Bettina gave Jason’s hand an affectionate pat and stood to go fetch the milk from her husband. He watched as his mother took the jug from him, but not before Roderick leaned down and tapped the side of his stubbled face, earning him a peck on the cheek from the woman he had adored for more than forty years.
***
It never ceased to amaze Jason how having dinner with his parents put his mind at ease. Something about being there, his mother at one end of the table and his father at the other, always managed to bring him as much comfort as if he were sandwiched between the two of them in a tight hug. It was his time to just be. Not a business owner, or a friend, or even a father—he could just be who he was without any pretenses or responsibilities.
The familiar home cooking wasn’t a hard pill to swallow, either.
Coffee cup empty and a healthy—or unhealthy, depending on how you looked at it—dint in the plate of ginger cookies in the middle of the table, he wasn’t only stuffed to the gills with good, hearty food, but also brimming with contentment, something Jason didn’t often find.
‘Do you know if plans have been made for Carlie’s birthday?’ Roderick pushed his chair away from the table, sprawling out in it as he savored the last few mouthfuls of his coffee.
It was bound to come up. Still, Jason winced. ‘I haven’t really asked Natalie about it, yet.’
Over the past few weeks, his daughter’s upcoming fifth birthday had rarely been far from his mind, but he hadn’t broached the subject yet with his ex-fiancée. Carlie’s big day landed during the week, two Wednesdays from then, but he didn’t know what to say to Natalie. In all truth, he had hoped she would be the one to bring it up when he dropped Carlie off a few hours ago. She had said nothing, and neither had he. ‘I’ll call her tomorrow night after work and get the details.’
Natalie had never kept him from seeing Carlie, and she wasn’t vindictive or spiteful when it came to allowing Jason time with his daughter.
It was his own pride that got in the way. He struggled every time he had to ask permission to whisk his own flesh and blood away for an afternoon that wasn’t a part of the usual schedule, or every time he had to attend a birthday or holiday in a house that wasn’t his, with people he didn’t know. Being a third wheel—or fourth, or fifth—at his own daughter’s milestone events broke his heart all over again every time it happened.
But he did it for Carlie, and he would continue to do it for her. Because she was what mattered. His own ego didn’t stand a chance against
that kind of love.
His mother and father exchanged a stricken glance. ‘Jason …’ Bettina began.
Whatever well-meaning statement she was about to make was interrupted by the loud blip of Jason’s phone. Tucked onto the seat of the chair beside him, Jason hurried to read the text message. Rude, perhaps, but he wasn’t ready for what he knew his mother would undoubtedly say.
Hey, hope your day’s been good. Was just curious about the status of Cruella. Mine, not yours. She ended it with a winking emoji.
So, Lily was getting restless. The memory of their almost kiss flooded his mind as he typed back, I should be able to get ’er done by tomorrow, if that’s okay.
No winking emoji accompanied his words.
‘Jason,’ Bettina tried again. ‘I think some things have to change, son.’
He looked up from the phone and witnessed two sets of eyes, both full of thinly veiled emotion. ‘I know.’ His voice cracked. The lopsided division between Carlie’s two lives weighed on more than just him. So did the fact that it was his own fears—probably irrational and fallacious, but fears, nonetheless—were the reason for such a divide. He had once risked everything by asking a woman to marry him in the erroneous hope that it would keep their family together, and it had ultimately ended with a jagged rip down the middle of their family photograph. Two houses, two separate lives.
Asking for anything more than what he already had could start the gears turning of a mechanism he didn’t want to move. It could have dire consequences.
Yes, he knew he had to do something, say something. But it was a risk, and he knew the damage risks could create.
Another electronic blip of his phone saved him from having to endure another moment of their obvious discomfort.
More than okay. There’s no rush, actually. I’ve been thinking some things through, and until I pay off my debts and get some money saved up, I was thinking I might stick around for a while.
Another message arrived within seconds, an obvious afterthought.
If that’s okay.
Staring at the screen, Jason’s vision swam, turning the words into fuzzy clumps of black on white. His parents might as well have been a million miles away, though Bettina’s comment echoed through his brain, loud and clear. Some things have to change.
His fingers trembled slightly as he tapped out his reply to Lily.
More than okay. He paused, then hit send.
When Jason raised his head this time, he agreed with his mother on a visceral level. Some things did have to change.
They already were.
Chapter 13
Lily
She would never admit it out loud, but Lily’s decision was made as much from want as it was circumstance. She didn’t yet know the full cost of the Corolla’s repairs—Jason had only given her ballpark figures without including labor—but she didn’t yet have enough cash saved up to pay him and still replenish her bank account a little more. Not to mention she was back to square one, looking for a job and an apartment in the city.
Lily was being honest with herself, now. Fleeing from Sherman on a wing and a prayer had been reckless. Silly, even. Thinking she could simply land her dream job and secure an apartment of her choosing had been even more ridiculous. Things were never that easy, and she should have known better.
Which was why she was going to stay in Port Landon for a little while longer. Because it was easy. Too easy, in fact. She had a roof over her and her daughter’s head, she had a job to go to every day, and her car was going to be good as new once Jason was done with it.
Jason. Another reason to stay in Port Landon, and another thing she would never admit out loud.
He had been about to kiss her, she was sure of it. Heck, she’d wanted him to. The way his eyes had glittered with the reflection of the dashboard lights as he kept flitting his gaze toward her mouth, saying all the things she never realized she longed to hear until the soothing sound of them graced her ears.
You’ve got me, he’d whispered. You’re not alone in this.
No matter how many times she played it over in her mind, it didn’t seem to lose its potency, or its conviction. She didn’t distrust the truth of his words. However, Lily did wonder about her own interpretation of them. Intoxicating as it was, it was possible she was reading too much into it all. You’ve got me could be purely platonic, and you’re not alone in this could be as friendly and encouraging as Good job! and a gold star. It was possible she was completely wrong about his intent to kiss her as well.
‘Goodness gracious!’ Lily hissed under her breath, entering the coffeehouse through the rear door. ‘Enough.’ She was going to drive herself absolutely crazy if she didn’t stop all the overanalyzing and overthinking.
Lily’s running shoes made an awkward squeak as she halted mid step, coming face to face with Sonya’s quizzical stare.
‘Oh, sorry, Sonya, I didn’t know anyone was back here.’ The back room was reserved for break time and storage. It was meticulously organized and tidy, but any of the hip, homey vibes had been saved for the front of the coffeehouse where customers milled about. Because of its stark walls and lacking ambiance, staff usually only retreated back there when they needed to. There was just too much to like about the front of the coffeehouse to waste a precious minute in the back.
‘Which means you were, in fact, talking to yourself,’ Sonya concluded. ‘I’m not sure if that’s better or worse. Should I be worried?’
‘No, but maybe I should be. What’s going on out there?’ Tossing her purse into one of the battered lockers by the door, Lily heard voices coming from the front counter. Which wasn’t unusual, except that there was something about the octave in which people spoke, and the rapid fire of words she couldn’t quite make out.
Something was up.
Sonya huffed out a sigh. ‘Whatever kind of day you’re having, it might not seem quite so bad once you hear how Paige’s is going.’ With that, the older woman retrieved a plastic-wrapped roll of paper towels from the top shelf of the supply wall and trudged back out into the mayhem. The door dividing the front from the back swung on its hinge, and Lily clearly heard Allison’s voice ring out, ‘I just can’t believe this is happening.’
As hesitant as she was, Lily had a job to do. She followed in Sonya’s wake, silent and afraid of what she was walking into.
The coffeehouse was about half full, but a quick scan revealed that everyone already had cups in front of them. They were sticking around for the ambiance.
Allison stood behind the counter, hands pressed against it so hard her knuckles were white. Paige was cross-legged at the booth closest to the counter, her head in her hands. The mood in their corner of the café was so riddled with tension, Lily didn’t know if she wanted to stick around.
Sonya, crouched behind the counter, rose to her full, stocky height. She joined the other two pairs of haunted eyes in staring at Lily, as though she had just entered their worst nightmare.
‘Are you … okay?’ Lily didn’t know who she was asking in particular, but it seemed like a good place to start. She scanned Allison’s and Paige’s long faces, giving them both a chance to respond.
‘Far freaking from it.’ Allison’s shoulders slumped as she stared toward the booth at her cousin. Lily had never witnessed her boss so devastated before, let alone utterly defeated. ‘Paige’s dress isn’t coming.’
It took everything in Lily’s fashion-loving heart to resist gasping and reaching for a chair before her legs gave out in despair. ‘By not coming …’ Maybe she was mistaken. She had to be mistaken.
‘The boutique in New York used someone else’s measurements to make my dress,’ Paige replied weakly. ‘They’re dreadfully sorry about the mix-up—’ She made crude air quotations with her fingers, ‘—but unfortunately they won’t be able to make a new dress in time for the wedding.’
Lily’s heart ached for Paige. A woman’s wedding dress was a symbol of new love and new life, a whimsical piece of the puzzle that
transformed every inner little girl into the princess they someday hoped to be, even just for a little while. To think that Paige had handed that important part of her special day over to someone and that they had made such a heartbreaking error was catastrophic. ‘I’m so sorry, Paige. There are no words for how sorry I am.’
‘Mistakes happen.’ But the statement was as empty as Paige’s words were flat.
‘Is there a seamstress in town? Or maybe there’s a place in North Springs where you can find a replacement?’ Lily didn’t know much about the city, but as the closest bigger center, there was a chance.
Allison offered up an undignified snort. ‘There is, but I’m betting our pictures are tacked up behind the register after the kerfuffle we caused trying to find my wedding dress. Come on, Paige, even you’ve got to admit that’s funny.’
Paige shook her head. ‘That poor, poor sales associate. Gosh, what was her name? Mary, Mindy …’
‘Mira!’ Allison snapped her fingers. ‘That’s her name. You know, I could call there, just to see. If Mira answers, she might have to up her blood pressure pills or something, but I’ll risk it.’
‘Who’s on blood pressure pills?’
In perfect synchronicity, the four women swiveled to gape at the owner of the deep, masculine voice. Lily’s cheeks burned at the sight of him. Too many witnesses, too much tension already. The last thing she needed was Jason Forrester added to the mix.
Paige offered him a halfhearted smile. ‘Hi, Jason. We’re just talking about the wedding, that’s all.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘And you need blood pressure medication already? Paige, you haven’t even married him yet.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Very funny. But since I currently don’t have a dress to wear down the aisle, blood pressure pills might be something I’ll need to crush into my coffee pretty soon.’
Hands shoved in his pockets, Jason wore a look of bewilderment. ‘I thought you had one coming from the Big Apple or something?’
A Wildflower Summer Page 17