by Ayn Rand
PART NINE
We have not written for many days. We did not wish to speak. For weneeded no words to remember that which has happened to us.
It was on our second day in the forest that we heard steps behind us. Wehid in the bushes, and we waited. The steps came closer. And then we sawthe fold of a white tunic among the trees, and a gleam of gold.
We leapt forward, we ran to them, and we stood looking upon the GoldenOne.
They saw us, and their hands closed into fists, and the fists pulledtheir arms down, as if they wished their arms to hold them, while theirbody swayed. And they could not speak.
We dared not come too close to them. We asked, and our voice trembled:
"How did you come to be here, Golden One?"
But they whispered only:
"We have found you...."
"How did you come to be in the forest?" we asked.
They raised their head, and there was a great pride in their voice; theyanswered:
"We have followed you."
Then we could not speak, and they said:
"We heard that you had gone to the Uncharted Forest, for the whole Cityis speaking of it. So on the night of the day when we heard it, we ranaway from the Home of the Peasants. We found the marks of your feetacross the plain where no men walk. So we followed them, and we wentinto the forest, and we followed the path where the branches were brokenby your body."
Their white tunic was torn, and the branches had cut the skin of theirarms, but they spoke as if they had never taken notice of it, nor ofweariness, nor of fear.
"We have followed you," they said, "and we shall follow you wherever yougo. If danger threatens you, we shall face it also. If it be death,we shall die with you. You are damned, and we wish to share yourdamnation."
They looked upon us, and their voice was low, but there was bitternessand triumph in their voice.
"Your eyes are as a flame, but our brothers have neither hope nor fire.Your mouth is cut of granite, but our brothers are soft and humble. Yourhead is high, but our brothers cringe. You walk, but our brotherscrawl. We wish to be damned with you, rather than blessed with all ourbrothers. Do as you please with us, but do not send us away from you."
Then they knelt, and bowed their golden head before us.
We had never thought of that which we did. We bent to raise the GoldenOne to their feet, but when we touched them, it was as if madness hadstricken us. We seized their body and we pressed our lips to theirs. TheGolden One breathed once, and their breath was a moan, and then theirarms closed around us.
We stood together for a long time. And we were frightened that we hadlived for twenty-one years and had never known what joy is possible tomen.
Then we said:
"Our dearest one. Fear nothing of the forest. There is no danger insolitude. We have no need of our brothers. Let us forget their good andour evil, let us forget all things save that we are together and thatthere is joy as a bond between us. Give us your hand. Look ahead. It isour own world, Golden One, a strange, unknown world, but our own."
Then we walked on into the forest, their hand in ours.
And that night we knew that to hold the body of women in our arms isneither ugly nor shameful, but the one ecstasy granted to the race ofmen.
We have walked for many days. The forest has no end, and we seek no end.But each day added to the chain of days between us and the City is likean added blessing.
We have made a bow and many arrows. We can kill more birds than we needfor our food; we find water and fruit in the forest. At night, we choosea clearing, and we build a ring of fires around it. We sleep in themidst of that ring, and the beasts dare not attack us. We can see theireyes, green and yellow as coals, watching us from the tree branchesbeyond. The fires smoulder as a crown of jewels around us, and smokestands still in the air, in columns made blue by the moonlight. We sleeptogether in the midst of the ring, the arms of the Golden One around us,their head upon our breast.
Some day, we shall stop and build a house, when we shall have gone farenough. But we do not have to hasten. The days before us are withoutend, like the forest.
We cannot understand this new life which we have found, yet it seems soclear and so simple. When questions come to puzzle us, we walk faster,then turn and forget all things as we watch the Golden One following.The shadows of leaves fall upon their arms, as they spread the branchesapart, but their shoulders are in the sun. The skin of their arms islike a blue mist, but their shoulders are white and glowing, as if thelight fell not from above, but rose from under their skin. We watch theleaf which has fallen upon their shoulder, and it lies at the curveof their neck, and a drop of dew glistens upon it like a jewel. Theyapproach us, and they stop, laughing, knowing what we think, and theywait obediently, without questions, till it pleases us to turn and goon.
We go on and we bless the earth under our feet. But questions come tous again, as we walk in silence. If that which we have found is thecorruption of solitude, then what can men wish for save corruption? Ifthis is the great evil of being alone, then what is good and what isevil?
Everything which comes from the many is good. Everything which comesfrom one is evil. This have we been taught with our first breath. Wehave broken the law, but we have never doubted it. Yet now, as we walkthrough the forest, we are learning to doubt.
There is no life for men, save in useful toil for the good of all theirbrothers. But we lived not, when we toiled for our brothers, we wereonly weary. There is no joy for men, save the joy shared with all theirbrothers. But the only things which taught us joy were the power wecreated in our wires, and the Golden One. And both these joys belongto us alone, they come from us alone, they bear no relation to all ourbrothers, and they do not concern our brothers in any way. Thus do wewonder.
There is some error, one frightful error, in the thinking of men. Whatis that error? We do not know, but the knowledge struggles within us,struggles to be born. Today, the Golden One stopped suddenly and said:
"We love you."
But they frowned and shook their head and looked at us helplessly.
"No," they whispered, "that is not what we wished to say."
They were silent, then they spoke slowly, and their words were halting,like the words of a child learning to speak for the first time:
"We are one... alone... and only... and we love you who are one...alone... and only."
We looked into each other's eyes and we knew that the breath of amiracle had touched us, and fled, and left us groping vainly.
And we felt torn, torn for some word we could not find.