For the romantics
Note:
Over time I’ve gotten comments and questions about this, so here you go:
On St. Croix we say on island or off island. “Is Alina back on island? Is Jude still off island?” It’s like, “Is Jude back in town?” No one would say, “Is Jude back in the town?”, and no one says, “Is Jude on the island tonight?” It’s not normal, conversational lingo.
Chapter One
Small waves danced in the harbor, the water a muted purple-grey as dusk fell across St. Croix. I gazed longingly, my heart skipping over the sight of it. It called to me, like a siren tempting a sailor.
Jude switched cameras, bringing his face back into view. I sighed inwardly. We were on Facetime again. He’d started growing a beard, which I thought I’d hate, but I loved it. I loved everything about that face.
“This time tomorrow you’ll be looking at that water for real,” he said.
I nodded, near giddy with anticipation. It felt almost too good to be true, but no—as of tomorrow, I’d be a resident of St. Croix again. Maybe forever.
Jude smiled a little, his calmness belied by the flicker of heat in his eyes. No, St. Croix wasn’t the siren; this boy was, calling me across miles and oceans and time.
“I can’t wait,” I whispered. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“I miss you, too.” Miles, Tommy’s mischievous little brother and an old buddy of Jude’s, wrangled the phone away. He grinned at me, waggling his eyebrows. “But wait…Alina wha’ happen to you? You look pale, man.”
He disappeared as Jude reclaimed the phone. I laughed, glancing at my reflection in the mirror. Miles wasn’t lying; I’d lost a lot of my tan thanks to endless hours in classrooms and study sessions. You’d never know I lived in the Sunshine State.
“Alina,” Caroline called from the bedroom. “What do you want me to do with these books?”
I looked at Jude. “I should go. I have a few last-minute things to take care of.”
He smiled again, flirty this time. “Go do your thing.”
“Bye.” Pretty soon, these long-distance attempts at connection would be a thing of the past, and I couldn’t wait.
Disconnecting with Jude, I hurried to my room, where Caroline and I’d spent the last few days packing my things. Other than a few suitcases, everything was gone—sold, given away, or sent ahead to St. Croix, where Nora had claimed it from the post office. An unexpected wave of sadness swelled up and crested though me, leaving the salt of tears on the back of my throat. I was excited to begin this new chapter in my life, but I’d lived in this apartment, with Caroline, for years.
“They were in the closet,” she said, pointing to a small stack of books on my desk. I ran my fingers over the old wood, the grooves as familiar to me as my own hand. I’d found this behemoth on a curb at the end of freshman year, ready to be thrown out. It’d served me well, and now I was handing it down to my brother Adam. Mom would be by later to pick it up.
“I must’ve missed ‘em,” I said, scanning the titles. “We can donate.” Yawning, I left them on the desk and stretched, listening to the joints in my knuckles and knees crack. I’d been packing and cleaning all week, all day.
Caroline nodded. “And you know I’ll send anything that’s left behind.”
My throat closed as my face crumpled. “Okay.”
“No crying, ‘Lina.” Her voice quavered, thick with tears.
I grabbed her in a hug. “I am really, really gonna miss you.”
“Me too,” she whispered, rubbing my back. “This place won’t be the same.”
After a moment, I took a step back, trying to get it together. “Let’s get something to eat. I’m hungry.”
“Me too.” Wiping her face, she dropped onto the bare bed. “What’re you in the mood for? Choose wisely, now…”
“Pho.” I swept my hair into a ponytail. “Pretty sure I never saw any in St. Croix.”
We stepped out into early evening. A heavy sky the color of bruises hovered thickly over us, hinting at more of the rain we’d been having all week.
I followed Caroline to her car, thinking about the past year. I’d made it—survived my first semester of grad school. It’d been demanding and academically intense, reminding me of old times, when all I’d done was study. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I had other things on the mind now, things like Jude.
We’d been together about seven months, the majority of which had been spent apart. He’d come up to Miami several times: once for Spring Break, and twice to surprise me. We’d spent a lot of time staring at each other’s words and faces on our phones, but now I was going back.
Back to Jude, and back St. Croix…the island I’d dreamt about since the moment I’d left it.
~
Theo was stuck in New York for the summer, taking classes and working part-time as a law clerk downtown. He’d broken up with his girlfriend, so he’d been a grump lately.
“Don’t forget about me now,” he said. We were on the phone as I wandered around the airport, waiting for my flight to board. “That place is like another dimension.”
I side-stepped a woman who’d kneeled to soothe a fussy toddler. “I could never.”
“It’s easy to lose track,” he said. “But that’s what you love about it, isn’t it?”
“Sometimes,” I admitted. “It feels like we’re on the edge of the world, and it’s beautiful.”
He chuckled. “Well, I hope everything works out.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Anyway, I should go. They’re starting to board.”
“Already? What zone are you?”
I glanced at the crumpled boarding pass in my hand. “Um, five?”
Theo paused. “I have so many miles, Alina. I could’ve gotten you on business class.”
I tugged my carry-on along, edging toward the back of the line. “Coach isn’t that bad, you know. Not for us peasants, anyway,” I teased.
He chuckled. “Just let me know next time you’re traveling. I’ll hook it up.”
I bit my lip. I loved Theo and his generosity, but I had a boyfriend now…a boyfriend he had bad blood with. It wasn’t appropriate to let him buy me stuff, not anymore. “Theo…”
“Okay, okay.” His sigh hurt my heart a little. “Jude Larsen taking care of you?”
My heart thudded. “Yeah.”
“He better,” muttered Theo.
The speaker overhead crackled, announcing zone three. “All right, I really do have to get in line now. Talk soon?”
“Yep; you know where to find me.”
Saying goodbye, I switched over to texting.
About to board.
Jude’s response popped up as I walked across the jetbridge.
Hurry. ;)
Settling into my window seat, I yawned. Staying up late with my mom and Adam had been worth it. We’d ordered pizza and watched Netflix, talking until Adam begged out and crawled to bed. I thought about him as we bumped peacefully through the clouds, wondering if he was going to Dad’s later. He hadn’t been spending as much time with him as before, and though Mom attributed it to typical adolescent withdrawal, I worried it was more.
Which was hypocritical, because I didn’t spend time with Dad, either. But still.
We landed in the afternoon, the sky misty and grey with rain. I texted Jude again, letting him know we’d landed, but he didn’t answer until I’d been at baggage claim a couple of minutes.
Running late. Coming now.
Frowning, I pocketed my phone and stared at the bags circling past on the carousel. Wind blew through the open airport, fluttering the tourism brochures on a nearby counter. By the time I dragged my mortifyingly huge bags off the belt, the crowd had thinned. A new flight p
opped up on the screen. I escaped to the sidewalk as another group of passengers descended.
“Come on, Jude,” I muttered, pushing a strand of hair from my eyes. He and his friends were usually on “Cruzan time”, but being late to pick me up from the airport? I wondered if something had come up at the bar.
This wasn’t the romantic reunion I’d envisioned.
A taxi driver caught my eye, motioning toward his van. “Going to the hotels, miss?”
I shook my head, prickling at the implication I looked like a tourist even though, well, I did look like one. “No thanks. My ride’s coming.” Eventually.
He nodded, tipping his hat, and turned back to his fellow drivers. Just then, a black Jeep with tinted windows and adolescently loud base pulled up. Out jumped Jude, with a grin and a spray of pink roses. My irritation evaporated.
“Hey, babe,” he said, handing me the roses with one hand and pulling me close with the other. My heart leapt at the closeness. “I am so, so sorry I’m late…Maggie called in sick, and the shipment from St. John was all wrong…”
Grasping the flowers delicately, I wrapped my arms around his neck and quieted him with a kiss. “I figured it was something like that.”
Relaxing, he kissed me back. Someone honked as they passed. “So glad you’re here. I missed you.”
“Missed you, too,” I said, breathless. I kissed him again, savoring that I could do this whenever I wanted now. No more long distance. No more looming departure date.
Finally pulling away, he bent and took my bags. “Come on,” he whispered, those dreamy, dark eyes flickering between mine. “Let’s go home.”
~
“You wanted to stop by Eli and Nora’s place first, right?” asked Jude, pulling into a gas station on the side of the road. A gentle rain had begun to fall.
Stopping at the duplex would be the sensible thing to do—I could drop my stuff off and grab my key. Say hi to everyone. But I hadn’t been with Jude for a while, and the wanting was so deep I felt it everywhere. Even now, it was hard to keep my eyes off him. “Maybe later.”
His dimple flashed as he glanced down at me. “Actually, we have to stop there. Eli has something for me.”
“Why’d you even ask, then?” I teased, poking him in the side. “I thought you were as desperate to get to your place as I was.”
He smiled a little, sliding his hand up my thigh as he leaned close for a kiss. His fingers brushed beneath the hem of my dress, a new one I’d worn with this moment in mind. “You have no idea.”
I closed my eyes as our lips met. “I think I have some.”
He squeezed my thigh and sauntered off, glancing back like he knew I was watching through the darkened glass. My cheeks warmed, and then so did the rest of me. I couldn’t wait to be alone with him. Truly alone.
But I supposed there was no rush. It would be good to see Eli and Nora and catch up with them. I missed Sydney and Sadie, who would be home from school by now, and I hadn’t met the baby yet, although I’d seen plenty of pictures on social media.
There were several cars parked in the yard when we pulled up. Jude cut the music, scratching his chin. “Yeah, Nora said they had family in town…”
“Should I just wait in the car?” I asked, uncertain. Nora and Eli were old friends, but I didn’t want to intrude.
“Nah, they know we’re stopping by.” He slid out of the Jeep, sending a quick text. “They wanted to see you.”
We crossed the graveled driveway, which looked exactly the way I’d left it. I eyed my door, wondering if anyone else had stayed there in my absence. The girls’ bikes lay abandoned beneath the flamboyant tree, and a familiar black cat lounged nearby. He’d been a kitten the last time I’d seen him.
“Eli,” called Jude, opening the screen door. I followed him inside, feeling criminal as we entered the eerily silent condo. Jude took my hand as we rounded the corner into the living room.
The lights came on with a flash and a cheer. “Surprise!”
I fell back against Jude with a gasp. Nearly everyone I knew on St. Croix was squished into the Taylor’s living room. They rushed forward with hugs and kisses, barely giving me time to respond. Sydney and Sadie squirmed through the crowd, and I crushed them close as they wrapped themselves around my legs.
“I can’t…I can’t believe you guys,” I cried, spying one familiar face after another. Nora and Eli…Bodhi and Jen…Emma and Logan…Tommy, Raquel and Miles. I poked Jude. “I can’t believe you!”
His eyes danced, and he jerked his chin toward Nora. “Can’t take credit…it was her idea.”
“Welcome home, Alina,” she cried, giving me such a solid squeeze, I lost my breath. Baby Silas shrieked excitedly in her arms, allowing me a quick smooch before angling away. He looked exactly like Eli, just as blond.
“Thank you,” I whispered, trying valiantly to choke back tears. “You guys are too much.”
Eli yanked me into a hug as everyone else came forward. People I knew from town, the university and conservation groups…I hadn’t realized how many friends I’d made. No wonder leaving St. Croix had hurt so badly.
That, and the handsome guy to my right. I slid my hand into Jude’s and he squeezed, pulling me into his side as he chatted with Tommy and Miles, his accent deepening the way it did around those boys. Bob Marley came on Eli’s old stereo system and we moved outside, sitting beneath the lit-up lanterns Nora had strung up.
A couple of hours later, with a belly full of pates, cupcakes, and beer, I ventured over to the other side of the duplex—my side. A swell of emotion crested over me as I unlocked the door. Theo and I had come to get away, but I’d found myself here.
The apartment smelled faintly of fresh paint. Jude followed behind, shutting the door. New, green curtains fluttered like leaves in the breeze. There were other changes, too: the furniture had been moved around, and the old, eighties couch had been replaced by a yellow and grey Ikea prototype. Still, the vibe felt the same. Several boxes of mine stood just inside the door, waiting to be unpacked.
I eyed the slant of my handwriting, scrawled hurriedly across the top, remembering the day Mom and I’d brought these boxes to the post office in Coral Gables.
Jude set my suitcases down. “Can I help with anything?”
I shook my head. “Let me just pack an overnight bag, and we can go.”
He nodded toward the boxes. “What about those?”
“I’ll deal with them later.” I looked up as his dark gaze met mine, and my heart stuttered. “I really just… want to go home. To your place.”
His eyes crinkled at the corners as a pleased grin slid across his face. “Let’s go, then.”
I rolled one of my suitcases into the bedroom. Nora and Eli had painted these walls a soft, purply grey. Kind of like the harbor at twilight. I ran my fingers over it, grateful for the change. This was my place now. Jude seemed to like the idea of living together, and maybe one day we would, but I needed to move slowly. I’d never been fully on my own. Jude was a huge part of why I’d moved to St. Croix, but he wasn’t everything.
Even if, sometimes, he felt like it.
But we had time to figure that out—I’d only been back a few hours. Tossing a couple days’ worth of clothes and gear into a bag, I locked the apartment and joined Jude in the now empty driveway.
The sun sank behind the tree line, turning the world gold. Jude turned his music on, giving my knee a quick squeeze as we turned around to go home. Everything was just as I remembered, like I hadn’t been gone at all: driving on the left, trees stretching across the main road, little shacks selling food, their mouthwatering aromas curling through the Jeep’s open windows.
My heart soared, lighter than air. I was exactly where I was supposed to be. “Can’t believe I’m back.”
A smile crept across Jude’s face. “Been thinking the same thing.”
“You had doubts,” I said, glancing sideways at him.
He shrugged, never losing that smile. “Nah.”
“After grad school,” he said, cocking an eyebrow. “That’s four years…you came back after one. Not that I’m complaining.”
I grabbed his hand, linking our fingers. “Talk to me. Tell me what I’ve missed.”
“We talk every day,” he said with a chuckle.
“Yeah, but…”
“Ah, you want melee,” he teased, jerking his chin at me. Melee—gossip; one of Ivy’s favorite words. “Bodhi and Jen broke up again and she left.”
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