by Cassie James
Pearl, who’s barely been awake through all of this, reaches out to pat my hand with hers. “It’s okay, Juliet. I can go to the death hotel.”
I shoot the doctor a look as his expression turns uncomfortable. See? I want to say. She’s calling the place a death hotel for fuck’s sake. I am not under any circumstances dropping my sole living family member off at a death hotel. I’d sooner take her out to sea and give her a viking funeral than submit her to that fate.
“What is the point,” I start, taking a deep breath when my voice starts to crack. I try again, “What is the point in having more money than any sane person should ever be allowed to hoard if we don’t use some of it for things that matter? Things like this. I’m more than capable of paying for full-time care for Pearl at home for as long as she needs it. Which is hopefully still a hell of a long time. So, if you could just point me in the right direction for that—that’s the only resource I need from you. No more pamphlets for these places.” I shove the long-term care placement pamphlets back at him, which he reluctantly takes.
“When we discussed the options—”
“You’re fired.” My voice is deadpan as the doctor immediately started spluttering. I completely ignore him now as I push the call button on Pearl’s bed. When a nurse picks up the intercom, I ask her, “Is there another doctor available?”
She pauses for a split second before confirming that there is. “Dr. Yorke is here today. He’s with another patient right now but he should be finishing up.”
“Perfect. Could you send him our way when he’s done? We’re in need of a second opinion.” I look at the now fired doctor with a smug look as the nurse tells me it won’t be a problem. If this guy isn’t going to listen, maybe the next one will. I’m done playing these stupid games that seem more like a power trip than actual medical advice. What the hell can anyone really do that an obscene amount of money can’t replicate at home?
As the doctor closes the door a little too hard behind him, Pearl grins at me. “It’s good to see you finally growing into things.”
“What do you mean?”
“No one pushes a Lexington around,” she says softly, already drifting back to sleep. Now there’s a family trait I can get behind.
Chapter Two
Dr. Yorke turns out to be an absolute godsend, and within days Pearl is settled at home in a new state-of-the-art hospital bed that had to be flown halfway across the country on a private plane to get here on time. Every check I sign makes me cringe, but I remind myself that this is barely a drop in the pan that I’m spending. I could live ten lifetimes and not even make a dent in my new finances. It’s all just a little overwhelming.
I put the guys off as long as I can, not wanting to anger Pearl by filling the house with people. They can only be held off for so long, though, so when the doorbell rings—I’m not exactly surprised that they’re here. Well, okay, maybe I’m a little surprised to see Jax with them.
Seeing them, it’s enough to make my whole body sag with emotion. I reach out blindly, not even quite sure who I’m reaching for, and end up pulling Patrick, Ace, and Smith into a group hug. Jax, who’s standing a couple feet off from the group doesn’t participate, but he catches my eye between Smith and Ace’s shoulders. He’s staring at me hard, too, the same way he did when he interrupted my dance with Patrick at prom.
It makes me uncomfortable enough that I cut the embrace short and pull away, smiling to cover up the weird feelings suddenly flowing through me. Why does he keep looking at me like that?
Patrick is the first to talk. “I know you said you didn’t want us to come,” he starts, but I shake my head before he finishes making excuses for showing up unannounced.
“I’m glad you’re all here,” I tell him honestly. I didn’t realize how much I needed them until I saw them standing in my doorway. My eyes cut over to Jax again, looking for a reaction, but he gives me nothing but his stare. My words are the truth. I’m glad they’re all here, even Jax for some strange reason. I can’t tell by looking at him if it matters that I’m including him or not. He looks pretty unfazed by all this, but hell, he’s the one that chose to show up. Realizing I’m still standing in the doorway gawking at them, I step back and wave them inside.
“We meant to take turns so we wouldn’t overwhelm you,” Patrick tells me, turning his eyes downward as he shrugs. “But then no one could agree who would get to come first. I hope it’s okay, we just didn’t want to cause an issue. This way we’re all seeing you at the same time.”
I spare a quick glance at Smith, but he shakes his head discreetly. He doesn’t want the others to know he’s already seen me. Once at the hospital, and one quick time here when I first brought Pearl home.
It’s sweet, really, seeing him try to spare the other guys’ feelings. Particularly Patrick, whose little display of jealousy at Prom I definitely haven’t forgotten.
“Pearl’s in the formal room. She’s been pretty lucid today, but if you guys aren’t comfortable going in there, we can hang out in the kitchen for a few?” I’ve stuck pretty close to Pearl’s side, much to her annoyance. We have several full-time nurses rotating shifts that don’t even watch her as closely as I do. I keep telling her I can’t help it, it makes me anxious to leave her by herself with nothing to do and no company. She wouldn’t even let me put a TV in there for her.
“I’ve got my memories to keep me company, Juliet,” she’d said. And apparently that’s really all she wants because I can’t even get her to pick up a book. She did let me pull the family photos out again to look through. I guess those go along with her memories, though, so that makes sense.
Ace is the first to take a step, but instead of pointing his feet towards the kitchen, he moves solidly towards where Pearl is. I hope like hell she won’t be mad that they’re here, but it’s actually a relief when all the guys follow suit, letting me go back to Pearl instead of entertaining them in another room.
“Well, my my.” Pearl pushes the button on her bed that allows her to sit up straighter. “If I’d known I was going to get so many handsome young visitors, I would have started dying a lot sooner.”
The guys shoot each other uncomfortable looks, wholly unfamiliar with Pearl’s new lack of polite, old lady filtering. All except Jax, who snorts out a laugh.
Pearl grins at him, pleased to see someone enjoying her dark little joke. She reaches a hand out to him, and he indulges her by going to her bedside. She looks awestruck as she stares up at him. “If only Hollis were here. He’d be as pleased as a dog with two tails to see Jax Woods back in this house.” Her eyes cut over to me. “The two of you used to be inseparable. The nannies had to put you down for naps together, that’s how obsessed the two of you were with each other. Just babies, but already so connected.”
I don’t bother reminding her that she’s told me that story before. Twice now, actually. Let her have her moment, even if it does make my cheeks flush with embarrassment to hear her describe us that way.
“So connected,” Patrick mocks under his breath, but Smith shoots him a sharp look before I can say anything.
Pearl looks past Jax now, taking her time looking over each of the other guys. “You’re a large bunch aren’t you?” she says. She points a long finger at Ace, pointing first at his face but then letting her finger trail down until she’s pointing directly at his crotch. “Especially you.”
I gasp, jumping forward to stop her before this goes any further. “Kitchen!” I take a deep breath. “We’re going to the kitchen. I’ll make the boys say bye before they leave.” I waste no time shoving them out of the room before Pearl can say anything else to leave me permanently scarred.
Ace drags his feet, staying back with me a little as the others surge forward. They’ve been in this house more than enough times to know where they’re going. Ace’s face might actually be redder than mine, I realize when I take a good look at him. Then, all on their own, my eyes drop to his crotch.
“Jesus,” he groans, putting his
hands down as if to cover himself. “Stop staring, Juliet. Before I embarrass myself.”
Even with him trying to cover himself with his hands, I can see the way his jeans struggle to contain him. Ace is getting hard just from me looking. And shit, I’m still staring. My self-control is clearly functioning at a zero right now. Damn, though, Pearl wasn’t wrong. I’m honestly a little terrified to picture what Ace has in his pants.
“Dammit, Juliet, stop it.” My mouth falls open, fully prepared to protest that I’m not doing anything. “I can still feel you thinking about it,” he tells me, his flush spreading further down his neck.
Patrick pokes his head out at the end of the hall, his eyes narrowing at how close Ace and I are standing. “Are the two of you coming?”
“Yeah,” I answer, annoyance tinging my voice. I can already tell that I’m going to have to have another talk with Patrick. I know I told him I wouldn’t give up on him, but I need to know this isn’t how it’s always going to be. I don’t want to walk on eggshells with Ace or Smith just because Patrick can’t handle it. What we’re doing, this arrangement, it can’t work with that toxicity hanging over our heads.
I start to go but Ace touches my arm. “Cut him a little bit of slack. He’s used to always being on top and never having to share anything.”
Ace’s words make me soften. He’s still integrating into things, merging with the little group I’ve created even though we never really had a conversation about what it is we’re doing. If Ace can give Patrick breathing room to adjust, then I need to remember that I can, too. That thought does bring up another important point, though.
“We never really talked about things with us. I appreciate you going to prom with me after my little faux pas with Patrick and Smith, but beyond that—I never really asked if you wanted to do this.”
He squints at me. “What is this exactly?”
Now that I’ve brought it up, I sort of wish I hadn’t. I’m giving him the chance to ask for an out, even though that’s the last thing in the world I want. He deserves that, I remind myself. This won’t work if I’m strong-arming anyone into something they’re not comfortable with.
“I like you.” I take a deep breath that does nothing to steady me. “And I like Smith. And I like Patrick. Maybe it’s selfish or not fair to want, but I don’t want to choose. Not now. Maybe not ever.”
“I haven’t asked you to,” he reminds me with a hard look.
“I know. I just don’t want you to feel like you slipped into a relationship that you don’t want just because we got so close after what happened over the break…” I trail off, remembering what a shit show all of that was. And all of it still unresolved, too. Cece. My Not-Mom. Hollis. I can’t stomach thinking about any of that now.
“I think I’ve learned my lesson about saying no to things I don’t want.” He grabs me by the hand as he steps closer, kissing me right on the edge of my mouth. It’s not nearly enough, but for now it has to be, since my other two boyfriends are standing in the next room waiting for us. How on earth did I ever get myself into this?
“What about Jax?” Ace asks.
That makes me frown. “What about him?”
“Where does he fit into all of this?”
“He doesn’t.” I glance back toward the kitchen, making sure no one is nearby eavesdropping. “I don’t even know why he’s here.”
Ace studies me so closely that I start to worry I said something wrong. Just when I’m about to ask, he lets out a bark of laughter that nearly makes me jump right out of my skin. He drops his hands on my shoulders and offers me an apologetic frown.
“Sorry.” He calms himself. “I just… He’s here for you. Do you really not get that?” I just stare blankly at him. I know Jax isn’t here for me, because the only person he does anything for is himself. I tell Ace as much, and he barks out another laugh. “I think you’re in for a rude awakening, Juliet.”
“Why?”
He shakes his head and slides one arm across my shoulders as he tugs me forward, toward the kitchen. “Nuh-uh. I’m not getting involved. Woods can figure this one out all by himself for once.”
I’m not a complete idiot. I get what Ace is insinuating—that Jax likes me, in whatever way that demon spawn is capable of liking anyone. But even if he’s right, and this isn’t some new, elaborate scheme to humiliate me, I’m not sure how interested I am. Not only would I be adding a new boy to the mix, but it would be someone that I have insane physical chemistry with and not much else. My guys? They’ve made me feel cared for and comforted, whereas Jax has only ever made me feel cheap, used, and unwelcome.
Neither Ace nor I say anything else about it. He keeps his arm slung over me as we enter the kitchen, the other three guys turning to stare. No one looks mad, so that’s a good start.
Ace lets go of me so I can sidle up onto a stool at the island. Jax is standing on the other side, his eyes still focused on me just like before. It’s really starting to get to be too much at this point.
“Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop staring at me like that,” I finally snap.
Without a word, he storms around the island and right out of the kitchen. A few seconds later, there’s the distinct sound of the front door slamming. I cross my arms on the counter in front of me and drop my head down on them, a headache starting to pulse between my eyes. How is it that Jax spends months being an asshole to me, and yet I snap at him one time and I’m the one that ends up feeling guilty?
Because you know better and he doesn’t.
Raising my head, I look at Smith to say, “Will you please check on him?”
Relief floods his face as he nods. I’m sure he was already trying to figure out how to excuse himself. I can’t say I understand the bond between the two of them, but if Smith isn’t making me choose, then I guess I need to start realizing that I can’t ask him to, either. And Jax? Whatever the hell is going on with him right now, I’m sure he could use a friend.
“How about a walk out back?” I look back and forth between Patrick and Ace, who both nod easily. I really need the fresh air. Maybe if I can somehow get enough of it, I’ll stop feeling like I’m spending all my time suffocating. As I listen to the front door close again, I can’t help but think that then again, maybe I won’t.
Chapter Three
I lose track of the days as summer drags on; the sunlight pouring in through the front windows as Pearl refuses to let me close the curtains even partway. It makes the room unbearably hot, to the point that we’ve got six different fans in here now, each of them pointing a different direction to try to keep the cool air flowing. It’s not even that hot outside really, the huge front windows just happen to turn this room into an overexposed greenhouse. I offered to move Pearl to a different room, but she didn’t want that, either.
She keeps giving me shit for not enjoying my summer, but that’s one argument I haven’t let her win. I’ll have plenty more summers, but I won’t have another one with her.
It’s another day of her begging me to get out of the house when someone pounds on the front door. The nurse, Jan, is a robust woman who talks too fast and spends all day fussing over me as much as Pearl. She stands up to get it, but I gesture for her to sit back down.
“I can get it,” I reassure her.
Answering the door isn’t really part of her job, and even though we’re paying her a small fortune to mostly just hangout drinking our coffee, I still don’t want to take advantage of her. Of all the nurses, Jan is admittedly my favorite. Probably because she feels like a grandmother, something I’ve never had.
We weren’t expecting anyone, but the face that greets me when I open the door is probably the literal last person I ever would have guessed.
“Governor?” I do a weird sort of head nod that probably looks half like I was trying to bow to him. I feel totally ridiculous, but I never expected to be greeting our state governor at the door in my daisy dukes.
He gives me a withering look and a quick once
over. Yeah, doesn’t look like he’s such a fan of the daisy dukes. I should probably be more offended by how dismissively he looks at me, but honestly I’m just relieved when he doesn’t ogle me the way those old men at the country club did that time. That would have been way worse than the cutting way he’s looking at me.
“I’m here to see Pearl,” he announces, not bothering to greet me in any way. He shifts slightly, moving just enough that I see the familiar dark eyes of the person standing behind him. Jax. Noticing my look, the governor adds, “I’m not sure why my son decided to join me, if that’s what you’re wondering. You’ll have to ask him that.”
Jax glares at his father’s back, his jaw clenching. If it were anyone else, the expression would scream anger, but Jax actually looks... embarrassed. Jax Woods is embarrassed. Interesting.
“Come on in, sir.” I step aside so the governor can enter. I’m not particularly fond of the man based on our limited interactions so far, but I’m pretty sure you can’t just say thanks but no thanks when a man like that comes to visit.
A couple men in suits trickle in behind him. I hadn’t even noticed them before, probably because I was so shocked to see Jax back here. After the last time he stormed out, there hasn’t been any sign of him. The other guys have popped in to visit for short periods, but Jax hasn’t made any more appearances—which is really for the best, probably. He’s here now, though.
He walks in behind security, shoving me out of the way so he can be the one to close the door for some reason. I narrowly avoid bouncing off the wall when he pushes me out of his way. Jerk.
“I’d like to speak to Pearl. Alone.” I look over to see that the governor’s talking to Jan. My eyes narrow as I take a step forward, fully prepared to berate him for talking to my stand-in grandma like that.