by Cassie James
Chapter Eight
“You okay?” Ace nudges me with his elbow.
I smile and nod, knowing if I open my mouth all the sordid details would come spilling out. How my mother tried to sell me to a mobster. How I kissed the hell out of Jax Woods just minutes before finding the guys at the back-to-school party—and then didn’t mention anything about it. It takes real effort to hold in the things I’m not telling them, particularly because I feel guilty as hell about it.
I keep trying to convince myself it would just be easier to be upfront, but then I start picturing them asking questions. I don’t want to talk about either thing. My habit of attracting shit parents or my undeniable chemistry with Jax. If I don’t talk about it, maybe I can pretend none of it is true. Not that it’s working so far.
We’re outside with nearly the entire rest of the senior class, enjoying the last remnants of summer before we go inside to register for classes. I’m perched up on a brick half-wall by the parking lot, Ace standing beside me with his hand resting on my knee. Smith and Patrick are around here somewhere, too, but they’re on socialization duty right now. Luckily I managed to talk my way right out of that. Everyone can keep acting like I’m the new Kathryn if they want, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to start playing into some social mean girl role. I’m sure someone else will step up for that throne eventually.
“J.” I stop looking around at all the people milling about and focus my attention on Ace. “You sure you’re okay?
“I kissed Jax.” Dammit.
Ace blinks slowly for a second before he speaks. “Okay.”
“Okay? That’s all you’re going to say?” Ace is by far the calmest of my three guys, but I still expected a little bit more reaction than that. He taps his fingers along my knee as I try to ignore how distracting it feels.
“Something kind of happened over the summer that you don’t know about.” Ace glances away and I feel my heart drop.
“What?” I whisper, bracing myself. It’s not like I can get mad at him if he hooked up with another girl. It would make me a hypocrite. But god, do I really not want to hear those words come out of his mouth.
Ace runs his hand over his freshly cut hair. “Uh, I’ve been hanging out with the guys. We haven’t talked about why I stopped hanging out in the first place, but they’ve sort of forgiven me for bailing out on them after… you know.”
“Oh, well that’s good.” I don’t know why he sounds so solemn about it. That’s great news. I’m glad they’re rekindling their friendship.
“We’ve been talking a lot about you.” He blows out a long breath. Oh. I gesture for him to go on, even though I’m not so sure I want him to. What if he really is about to tell me something bad? Like the three of them got together and decided I’m not all that great after all. That I don’t even deserve one of them, much less all three of them. He wouldn’t be standing here with his hand stroking your leg if that was the case, idiot. My inner voice really isn’t pulling any punches today.
“What about?” I prompt when he doesn’t continue right away.
“Mostly about how it’s all supposed to work, this arrangement of ours. Everyone is happy with you—” Well that’s a fucking relief. “But we’ve all been trying to figure out how to make it work with each other. None of us wanting to be fighting and shit.” I’m still not seeing the problem. “And, uh, when I say ‘the guys’ I’m including Jax.” There it is.
“What do you mean you’re including Jax?” I slide down off the wall, forcing Ace’s hand off of me. This is one hell of a curveball he just threw.
Ace rubs a hand over his face. I wonder if the other guys put him up to telling me, knowing it would be harder for me to get mad at Ace than the others. There’s something about Ace that makes it hard to raise your voice at him, a vulnerability that makes you want to protect him even from yourself.
“It feels inevitable, J. I know you two have a lot of things you’re still working out, but no one misses the way you look at each other.” His nose wrinkles, and any other time I would take a second to appreciate how cute that is, but dang I’m kind of irritated with him right now. “We all feel better knowing the score. And if it makes you feel any better, I don’t see any problems with it. Jax hasn’t caused any issues between anyone. If anything, he’s been a hell of a lot less of an asshole since we’ve included him in the conversations.
“I do not look at him.” Much. Jesus, I do, though, don’t I? I can’t help myself. I must be a masochist because it makes no goddamn sense.
Ace raises an eyebrow and shakes his head at me, though it’s more teasing than annoyed. “Is that really all you took away just now?”
“I’m processing,” I admit. “Don’t rush me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he tells me with a soft laugh.
The crowd starts to disperse as the doors to the school finally open. I’m not in any hurry to get in there and wait in line for anything, so I stay put and so does Ace. After a minute, Patrick and Smith wander back in our direction. Jax is nowhere to be found, which I’m thankful for. After what Ace just told me, I feel like I have a lot of shit to process before I’m ready to face him again. I keep telling myself he’s an asshole and that I should want nothing to do with him. That would definitely be the easy answer. But I have to wonder what everyone else sees that I don’t. If the guys were that open to including him this summer—maybe I’m the one who’s not seeing things clearly? And that was one hell of a kiss we had the other day. I’m just not sure I’m ready to even give Jax a chance when he’s shown zero remorse for how he’s treated me.
The other guys? They’ve all apologized for their bullshit. But not Jax. Jax somehow just always ends up adding more fuel to the fire.
“There’s Salma,” Patrick says. I turn to follow the direction his finger is pointing and see her climbing out the passenger side of an unfamiliar car. I wondered why she wasn’t here yet. I take a few steps forward, planning to walk out into the parking lot to meet her, but I stop short when a guy climbs out of the driver’s side.
For a second, I wonder why she didn’t mention having a new guy. Then, she looks over at him and even from here I can tell she’s smarting off at him. Definitely not a new love interest. In fact, as they draw closer, I realize they look a little similar in the face. Salma’s barely come to a stop in front of our little group before she’s exaggerating a pout.
“My parents made my brother come to pay my class fees.” Both my eyebrows shoot up. Salma has a serious spending limit on her credit card, I’m not sure why she’d need him. She rolls her eyes. “I may have gone a tad bit overboard when I spent that week in Spain. Now I’m being punished like a third world citizen.” I snort. That couldn’t be further from the truth as she stands there decked out in designer clothes after pulling up in a car probably worth enough to feed a third world country for a year. “Anyway,” she continues, gesturing to the guy beside her “this is—”
“Kareem,” he interrupts her to introduce himself, his voice smooth like butter. He doesn’t even bother acknowledging the guys as he leans past Salma to hold his hand out to me. I shake his hand reluctantly, already uneasy from the way Smith just tensed beside me. I start to pull my hand back, even more unsettled when Kareem hesitates before letting go.
Trying to brush off that weirdness, I focus on Salma. “We waited to go in because everyone was rushing in at once.”
“Fine by me.” She shrugs. She glances around at the guys, her face nothing but polite as she greets the three of them. “Sorry I didn’t spend more time with you all at Allie’s party. I’m sure you all really missed me,” she jokes, batting her eyelashes.
“Oh, trust me, we saw how otherwise occupied you were.” Patrick grins. He loves giving her shit, I’ve discovered. The two of them have really hit it off with an easy friendship. I was a little jealous at first, mostly because Patrick and I have had a harder time bonding than I have with Smith or Ace, but I’m really glad for Salma’s sake that th
ey’re getting along so well. She needs the friends, and especially friends that aren’t trying to sleep with her.
My gaze slides to Kareem, curious to know how he’s reacting to that insinuation about his sister’s exploits. I’m surprised to find his eyes on me. Not just casually, either. His stare is intense.
I look away, trying to follow the conversation still carrying on around us, but now it’s like I can feel his stare. It’s jarring. Way more so than when I felt Jax staring at me the other night. My lips pull down into a deep frown as I make eye contact with him again. He looks like he’s fighting back a smile, himself.
Salma catches my frown and turns slightly to see what’s causing it. Immediately, her eyes lock on her brother. She smacks him with the back of her hand. “Stop staring at my friend. You’re being a creep.”
He barely flickers his eyes in her direction before he’s studying me again. “I just appreciate a good thing when I see it.”
I can see Patrick’s chest puff out from the corner of my eye. “Stay in your lane, dude.”
“You the boyfriend?” Kareem looks at him, seeming to size him up. He must decide he’s not too bothered by Patrick’s posturing because his eyes are right back on me again.
“Seriously, stop.” Salma smacks him again. “They’re all her boyfriends, jackass. You’re outnumbered.”
I can feel a flush creep up my neck as she makes that little announcement so casually. Salma obviously knows what’s going on with my dating life, but it’s not exactly common knowledge. I fight with myself not to look to see if anyone’s around to hear us. I know the news is going to come out eventually, but right now it’s just another thing that I’m not ready to deal with yet.
Kareem lets out a long whistle as he eyes all three of my guys. When he centers his gaze on me again, he’s smirking, not looking the least bit bothered.
“I’m not intimidated,” he tells me as if they aren’t standing right freaking here.
“And I’m not interested,” I shoot back.
“I like a challenge.”
“Still not interested.” I frown and turn to the guys, not wanting to play this game of verbal volleyball any longer. They all look pissed. Not that I blame him. Luckily, none of it is directed towards me. They’re only glaring at Kareem, who’s still wearing that haughty smirk. I’m not interested in stroking anyone’s ego.
“What the fuck’s going on?” a voice cuts in.
Jax.
There’s a dangerous look in his eyes as he sizes up Kareem. I’m not sure how much of that he just heard and I don’t want to wait to find out. Jax has a temper, and right now he does not look happy. “Jax,” I bite out, forcing his attention to me, instead. “Don’t.”
“It’s okay, beautiful. I can take whatever your boyfriends want to dish out.” Kareem winks at me. “Might want to warn you, though, buddy,” he looks at Jax, “You could hit me in the face and give me black eyes so bad my eyes swell shut—but I’d just take that as an excuse to check your girl out with my hands, instead.”
“Shit.” The word is barely out of my mouth before Jax grabs a fistful of Kareem’s shirt, getting right up in his face as his whole body seems to go red with rage.
There’s no time to think, only to react. I jump right in, shoving myself between the two of them and then shoving Jax back as hard as I can. I can feel him tense up, weighing his options, but he lets go of Kareem’s shirt and lets me walk him backward until there’s several feet of distance between them.
“God, with an ass like that I guess I’d be protective, too.” Kareem whistles again, louder this time, like he’s really trying to rub it in that he’s looking.
I have to close my eyes and take a deep breath before I murder this guy. I feel Jax’s chest tense under my hands but my eyes pop open and I shake my head. “Nuh-uh. He’s just trying to keep getting a rise out of you,” I warn him. “Don’t fall for it.”
Salma, who’s been growing more upset by the second, finally snaps. She pulls back her hand and smacks Kareem right across the face. I turn just in time to see it. He winces from the impact, rubbing his jaw as she scowls at him. She says something quietly to him so that I can’t hear, but based on her face I can tell they’re angry words. Kareem tries to look up at me again, but Salma throws her fist at his stomach.
“Go!” she shouts in his face, and that’s plenty loud enough for the rest of us to hear. She points toward the door to the school. Turning to us, she says, “He’s going to go pay for my shit and then leave. I am so sorry about him, Jules. I had no idea he was going to be such an asshole.” She looks at me hesitantly, almost like she’s worried I’m going to send her away with him.
“It’s not your fault your brother’s a creep. Don’t worry about it.” I wave off her concern.
It’s crazy how a girl with so much confidence and self-assurance could turn so insecure when it comes to our friendship. I swear, at some point she’s gonna have to realize that we’re solid. If I haven’t burned bridges with Sadie yet—whose friendship with me is in way worse shape right now—then Salma has nothing to worry about. Especially when it’s seriously not her fault.
“Can we just get this shit over with?” Jax asks from beside me, his voice coming out raspy. I look over at him, but he won’t meet my eye.
Everyone mutters their agreement, the mood totally trashed after what just happened. We manage to make it through the rest of registration relatively unscathed. We only run into Kareem one time when he brings Salma a receipt she needs from him paying her school fees. He’s staring again, but at least this time he keeps his mouth shut. After that, he bails out, leaving Salma with us after I reassure her I’ll give her a ride.
Even after he’s gone, I notice Jax sticks close to my side. He’s like a bodyguard I didn’t want, but I don’t say anything because I can tell he’s still on edge after what happened outside. I hate that I even care, but here I am. Being considerate of his feelings because I’m a goddamn glutton for punishment.
“Are you okay?” Ace asks after registration closes and before we all part ways again. I can’t help but to laugh. After all that drama, here we are right back where this day started. I look at where the others are walking slightly ahead of us, watching the easy way they talk and laugh with each other. I don’t know what I’d do without these people. Even Jax fucking Woods, though I’d never admit that aloud.
“You know what?” I tell Ace, “Yeah, I think I’m gonna be okay.”
Chapter Nine
Most of the first day back to school is a blur. I start feeling myself shutting down less than halfway through the day because of the sheer amount of attention I’m getting. Lunch turns out to be by far the worst because everyone seems to think that’s their chance to snatch a minute of my time. I’m not sure why anyone would want to be the top of the social pyramid—it’s fucking exhausting.
It’s all stupid shit, too. People asking where I went this summer and then acting like I’m being trendy or something when I say I didn’t travel. Asking me things about my hometown and then treating my answer like a novelty item. Sticking my words on a pedestal as if these aren’t the same kind of things that made people treat me like a social pariah when I first moved to Patience.
What a fucking difference a year makes.
After lunch, I finally get some much-needed relief. I have Advanced Photography with Ace, and even though the class is made up of all seniors, they’re the sub-species of Patience students that care more about being artsy than being popular. A couple people still try to chat me up, but then the teacher hands us our first assignment, sending us off on our own with the school grounds as our own personal playground now that we’re seniors.
Ace and I wander outside since the weather is nice. While lots of other people head out to the courtyard, we go the opposite direction towards the parking lot.
“Hey, where’s your car?” I ask, scanning the parking lot. He met us inside this morning, so I didn’t see him pull up.
With a
grin, Ace takes a set of keys from his pocket and fools with them until a beep sounds from a couple rows over. I look over to see a vehicle lighting up but it’s not the one I expect.
“Oh my god, shut up! Is that yours?”
It’s a truck. One of only two in the parking lot. Not that it’s any less expensive looking than any of the other cars in the lot. Its blue exterior is sparkling in the afternoon sun, drawing me in like a moth to a flame.
“I got tired of you making fun of me,” he teases as I peek in the windows to check out the interior.
“Hey! It’s not my fault you looked like Hulk driving a clown car.” I stick my tongue out at him as I run my hand over the length of his truck, walking my way down to the tailgate. I don’t miss the way his eyes track my movement. Suddenly, touching his truck feels way more suggestive than I anticipated.
I pull my hand back, but only so I can unlatch his tailgate and hop on, sitting with my feet dangling over the ledge. Ace studies me, so I study him back. I like the way his green eyes stay so soft, contrasting with the hard lines of his face. Despite his size, there’s something inherently gentle about him, something you can see in the way he’s careful about the way he moves. He keeps his shoulders relaxed—never intimidating. And when he moves, he’s graceful, never bowling people over and pushing his way through a crowd. People move for him when they see him, but it’s so, so obvious that he never expects them to.
Ace starts to lift the camera from around his neck as if to take a picture of me. A churning starts in my gut as I look away from him, turning my head to the side to ruin the picture he was about to take.
“J…” I can hear it in his voice he’s about to apologize yet again for something I like to think we’ve mostly moved on from. I hold a hand up to stop him.
“I know you’re sorry, Ace. I do.” Emotion wells up like a hard knot in my throat. I want so badly to be past this. To be able to smile for his pictures and never even think about the time when he was taking them to hurt me. I know why he did it, I get protecting himself and his friends from the bullshit that happened with Cece, but I still can’t forget that protecting them turned me into a casualty.