by Tessa Thorne
“Whatever you say, sweetheart.” He grins.
He knows as much as I do that next time, it’s going to be even harder for me to say no.
Chapter Eleven
Rocco
That’s bacon I’m smelling, and it’s coming out of my own kitchen. I follow my nose out of the bedroom door the moment I’m decent enough to step out in front of her kid. Normally I don’t even like to put on clothes if I'm just wandering around my apartment. It’s one of the advantages of living on the forty-second floor. Nobody to call the cops on you when they see you walking around your house buck-ass naked. But now I gotta fucking put pants on.
That’s some bullshit. But what did I expect? I invited a woman with a six-year-old kid to live in my apartment, after all.
He seems like a good kid though. Kinda reminds me of Pinky back when he was the same age. Around when all that shit went down.
Fuck.
Don’t need to be dredging up those memories when there’s bacon to be eaten. I step in from the hallway into the kitchen and find Caitlyn at the stove over a pan of pancakes with a bunch of bacon frying on the other burner. I smell coffee brewing, too.
“Morning, Caitlyn,” I say and turn to Ethan, sitting at the kitchen bar, holding a fork and knife in his little fists with his sky-blue eyes wide open. Looks like the kid’s a morning person. “Morning, Ethan.”
“Morning, Mr. Rocco,” he says without taking his eyes off the stove.
Caitlyn turns to me and gives me a warm smile to match the glow of her skin. She’s lost the dark bags under her eyes and the split in her lip is fully healed now. It’s hard to imagine that she could look more gorgeous than before, but the proof is standing in front of me. The things I’d do to her if the kid wasn’t here.
“Morning, Rocco,” she says. “You can call me Cat, if you want.”
The smile on her face gives me a strange fluttering feeling in my stomach. “Morning, Cat.” I grin back at her. “Any chance you made enough for three?”
“I’d be a pretty bad houseguest if I didn’t.” She smiles. She glances out of the corner of her eyes at me for a moment after she turns back to Ethan. “You ready for bacon and pancakes?”
“Yeah!” he says, pounding his fists on the counter.
“Syrup or no syrup?” Cat asks playfully.
“Syrup,” Ethan announces. “Duh.”
“You watch that attitude, mister!” Cat chides the kid playfully.
I take my seat next to him and grab my fork and knife and bang my fists on the counter. “I want syrup, too!”
Ethan bursts out laughing, and pounds his fists on the counter again along with me.
“That’s just what I needed.” Cat laughs as she places Ethan’s plate in front of him, followed by mine. “Two kids to feed.”
I grin at her as I grab a hot strip of bacon off the plate and shove the whole thing into my mouth. It’s fucking perfect. Crispy around the edges, with some fat left to chew on. Ethan watches me and picks up a strip of bacon off his plate and follows my example.
Cat blows a loose lock of hair back off her face, shaking her head. She comes around the counter carrying her own plate and sets it down on the other side of Ethan.
“You have to finish all your food, Ethan,” she says. “You’ve got a big day ahead of you.”
He nods silently as he watches me roll a pancake into a tube and shove the whole thing in my mouth. Then he tries to do the same, but only manages to get about half of it in, chewing while laughing with the rest of the pancake poking out of his mouth.
“Whatcha got planned today, Ethan?” I ask as I shove another pancake into my mouth.
He tries to speak, but I hold up my finger to him. “Finish chewing your food first.”
I look up in time to catch the smile on Cat’s face when she hears me say that. She tries to hide it behind her cup of coffee, but I catch her.
Ethan finishes swallowing, drinks a sip of his juice and says, “Going to baseball practice, and then day camp.”
“Sounds like a big day,” I say and turn to Cat. “You planning to take him to all that and go to work, too?”
She nods as she digs into her own food, trying to eat everything quickly. “Yeah,” she says. “I’m behind on my work and can’t afford to fall behind. We’re supposed to show a demo to some potential investors in a couple of weeks.”
“I can drop off the kiddo if you want,” I say.
She stops eating with a surprised look on her face. She turns to me and studies me like she’s trying to dig for some hidden motivation.
I get it. Why would she trust me? I’m a fucking killer. It’s smart of her to question my motivation. Fuck. I should wonder that about myself. Why the fuck am I offering to drop off her kid? He’s already messing up my life enough by living here. Now I’m offering rides?
“Okay,” she says, nodding slowly. “But no stops between here and practice. You need to drive him straight there.”
I hold up my hands in mock surrender. “Got it, boss.” I look down at the little kid and he stares back up at me with his big blue eyes. “Your mom will have to take you to the candy store later then.”
“Yay!” he shouts. I grin at him and ruffle his light brown hair while Cat just shakes her head in annoyance. But she can’t hide that smile from me.
Fuck.
He really does look like Pinky back when he was the same age. Same thin frame. Similar face. Big innocent eyes. Just missing Pinky’s dark hair and eyes. Why didn’t I see it when I first saw him?
Cat gathers her things, texts me the details and puts on her shoes. Then she tugs me aside by the arm and looks me straight in the eyes.
“Ethan’s my life and blood,” she says. “You understand, right?”
I nod. “Yeah. I get it. Blood is blood.”
“Right,” she says. “I can’t have anything happen to him. You understand?”
“Got it, Cat,” I say, putting my hand on her shoulder. “I offered you my protection. Long as you are staying here, I’ll protect you both. In here, or out there.”
She looks deep into my eyes until she finally nods. “Thank you,” she says. Then she leans over his head and whispers, “I think he likes you.”
“I’m a charmer.” I grin. “Everyone says that.”
She laughs. “Yeah. I can attest to that.”
She wraps her arms around her boy and gives him a tight hug. “I love you, baby. I’ll see you when I pick you up from camp. Okay?”
“Love you, Mommy!” he says.
“Bye!” She looks back one last time at the door before closing it behind her.
I look at Ethan, and he looks back at me. Great. Now I’ve got a kid on my hand, and it wasn’t even by accident. I asked for this. Why the fuck would I do that?
“Alright, kiddo,” I say, grabbing my things. “Ready to head out?”
“Yeah!” He bounces on his feet. “I never get to ride in a car.”
“You can even ride up front,” I say, taking his little hand in mine and his equipment bag in the other. “Long as you don’t tell your mom.”
He grins up at me. His bright face recalls memories of Pinky when I’d take him to get ice cream after a good day’s take. Those were the days. Before things got complicated.
I shoulda never brought Pinky into this life. It’s not good for him. He should be like Cat. Coding some app, with a chance to strike it rich and make billions. He’s smarter than those Silicon Valley assholes. Instead I have him running an illegal shopping mall on the darknet, risking twenty-five to life.
We head down in the elevator to the underground garage. I got a great parking spot, right next to the elevator. I open the door and lift the little kiddo up into the front passenger seat and buckle in his seat belt.
“You good, kid?” I ask him, tugging on the belt.
“Yeah!” He pumps his fist into the air.
He squirms under my hand as I ruffle his hair, close the door and get in behind the wheel.
&n
bsp; “I think you’re gonna need a booster,” I say as I back out of my spot and head out of the garage.
He’s quiet most of the way to the park, resting his hands on the open window frame, staring out at the scenery. It’s slowgoing, what with Brooklyn traffic, but we got plenty of time to make it there, and I hardly ever have anything planned this early in the morning.
“You’re a little quiet, kiddo.” I look over at him at a red light. “You good?”
He looks back at me and then turns to the window.
“Yeah,” he says unconvincingly.
“Come on, kiddo,” I say, rubbing his head. “You can tell me.”
He turns back to me and looks me over. “You promise not to tell my mom?”
“I promise,” I say.
“Pinky swear?” he demands, sticking out his pinky.
I can’t help but chuckle at the kid. Pinky used to do that all the time when he was a kid. Too bad he lost his favorite pinky.
“Never question my word, kiddo,” I say, gripping his pinky in mine.
He nods, satisfied with my honor. “I don’t really like baseball.”
“Is it because of the coach?” I ask, my belly heating up. Can’t believe that fuck told this kid he’s hopeless. He’s fucking six years old. I could straighten him out pretty quick. Make sure he never talks cross to him again.
“Not just that,” he says, sticking out his bottom lip. “It’s his son. He bullies me.”
I look over at him. He’s looking out the window again, trying to lose himself in the scenery. Kid’s too soft for what he’s going through. He’s too soft for this city. It’s going to be rough going for him if he doesn’t toughen up.
“What does he do?” I ask.
“He pushes me,” he says. “And all the other kids laugh at me.”
“Next time he does that,” I say, looking over at him as Ethan turns around and looks back at me, “punch him right in the mouth.”
“Mommy told me it’s not okay to hit anyone,” he says.
I shake my head. Cat doesn’t seem to realize the way of the world despite what she’s been put through. You gotta stand up for yourself, or else everyone will take advantage of you.
She should know better.
“Your mom means well,” I say. “But bullies only respect strength.”
I had to give Pinky the same talk back in the day. Toughen him up for the hard times to come. And he’s better for it.
He turns back to look out the window and we ride the rest of the way in silence. There’s a throng of kids already there and the street is lined with double-parked minivans and SUVs. I drop him off at the park and watch him walk to the field with his head down.
When he learns to take my advice, he’ll be able to walk with his head held up high and proud.
I step into Franky’s and see Pinky’s in the back booth, typing away furiously on his laptop.
He looks up at me, nods, and closes his laptop.
“Hey Rocco,” he says as I slide into the booth across from him.
“How you doing, kiddo?” I ask.
“Just checking on the business,” he says with a wide grin.
“Numbers look good?” I ask.
“You know it,” he says, sticking out his fist.
I bump fists with him as Vini steps out of the bathroom. He chuckles to himself as he walks up to the booth and taps Pinky on the shoulder to make room for him.
“Shit,” he says as he slides into the booth. “He got you doing that shit, too?”
I reach over and pat Pinky on the shoulder. “He’s my little brother,” I say. “Blood’s blood, right?”
“The only thing that runs thicker is our thing,” he says.
I flash a grin at him. “I need you to take care of something, Vini.”
“All you need to do is ask,” he says. That’s what I love about Vini. There’s no one better when you need some shit done. He takes this life of ours as serious as anyone I know.
“I need a piece,” I say, lowering my voice. The bar is swept regularly, and the place is empty this time of the day. But it’s just a habit you get into. A good one at that. “Reliable. Small. Something a woman can use.”
The corner of his mouth lifts into a smirk. “You getting heat for a woman of yours?”
“It’s probably for that Irish chick.” Pinky laughs. I shoot a glare at him that makes him swallow the rest of his laughter.
“You mean that broad that wanted a cop clipped?” Vini asks as he leans back in his booth.
“The same,” I say, letting my glare linger on Pinky. I didn’t want to talk about her to Vini, but I sure as fuck ain’t gonna lie to my crew.
“Now it all makes sense.” Vini laughs. “That’s why you didn’t want any of them dime broads at the bar the other day.”
He claps Pinky on the back and pounds his fist on the table. “Fuck, man. Rocco’s finally settling down.” He laughs. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
Pinky’s doing everything he can to avoid my eyes. He knows he fucked up now. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to explain myself to Vini.
Vini leans in toward me on his elbows. “So you gonna tell her to take the cop out herself?” he asks in a quiet whisper.
“Whatever happened to discretion?” I ask.
“Fuck that,” he says, punching me lightly on the shoulder. “We’re family. You gotta tell me if the piece is gonna get that hot. It matters.”
“Only if it comes to it,” I say, gritting my teeth for what I’m about to say.
Gotta tell him the whole truth. I’ve always told my boys that any lie poisons the well, and that applies to holding back the truth, too.
“She’s staying at my place,” I say, and watch as both Vini and Pinky’s eyes go wide open.
“What about her kid?” Pinky asks.
“She has a fucking kid?” Vini laughs.
“He’s staying, too,” I say.
“Holy fuck.” Vini laughs. “She must have had some magic cooze.”
“Watch your fucking mouth,” I snap, and Vini closes his trap. He knows this tone better than most. There’s only so far you can push me on. He may be impulsive, but he ain’t dumb.
“My bad, Rocco,” he says, backing up from the table. “I didn’t know it was like that.”
“Like what?” Pinky asks.
“Fuck, man, you’re hopeless.” Vini shakes his head and chuckles. Then he turns back to me, a serious look returning to his face. “I’ll get you what you need. Could take a few days to make sure it’s clean.”
“You’re a good man,” I say as I stand up to leave. I turn to Pinky before stepping out of the booth. “You visiting Ma tonight, right?”
“Yeah,” he says. He holds my attention with a look on his face that says he wants to say something, but he’s not sure if he should.
“Spit it out,” I say.
“Can I meet her, bro?” he asks.
I can’t help but laugh at that. He fucking wants to meet her. What the fuck have I gotten myself into?
“Yeah,” I say. “I suppose. Just don’t fucking call me bro. I gotta get going.”
“Where you going?” Pinky asks.
“Just buying some things,” I say. Last thing I need right now is to catch grief for where I’m heading.
“Peace,” he says, flashing me a peace sign.
Vini just nods at me as he gets up to make a phone call. He’ll come through for me. He always does. I don’t want Cat to have to do this herself, but I need to make sure she’s got protection when I’m not around. I won’t have him hurt her again.
I step out of the bar, climb into my SUV and head for the nearest baby store. I always tell my crew the truth, but there’s some things I don’t need to elaborate on. Like the fact that I’m heading to a store to buy a booster seat so I can safely drive around Cat’s kid.
I laugh sadly to myself as I wait at the red light. If she still had her mind, this would make Ma so happy.
Chapter T
welve
Caitlyn
I rush through the crowd heading up the stairs out of the subway station, nearly running into a tourist who stopped to look at his phone right at the top of the stairs. Jesus Christ. I want to scream at him. Why don’t they ever learn to get out of the way of the stairs before looking at their phones?
The subway kept stopping for signal problems on my way back from work, and now I’m going to be late picking up Ethan from day camp.
Thank God I worked out an arrangement with one of the other moms to take Ethan from baseball practice to day camp. I didn’t want to have to ask Rocco to do that for me, too. Giving him a ride to practice was more than enough. I’ve been worried sick about it all day.
Now I just want to pick him up and make sure everything went okay. It’s times like this that make me think I’m dumb for refusing to get him a cellphone.
I run across the street during a break in traffic and head toward the YMCA building across from the park. I can see a small group of kids at the front still waiting with their chaperone. Thank God I’m not the only one that showed up late.
I wave as I jog over to the group, and the chaperone waves back. Ethan’s sitting on his bag of baseball equipment with his head in his hands. Why isn’t Ethan waving at me? Normally he’s so happy to see me.
My heart sinks as I get close enough to see his face under his baseball cap. He’s got a black eye!
Oh my God!
I pick up my pace and run over to him. I squat down in front of him, and put my hands on his shoulders. He’s keeping his head down, trying to avoid looking at me.
“Baby,” I say as I wrap him in a tight hug. “What happened to you?”
He just leans into my arms limply and doesn’t answer. I turn to the chaperone and ask her, “Do you know what happened?”
She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, but he was dropped off like this. He hasn’t been talking all day, and we weren’t able to reach you on your cellphone.”
My heart sinks as I realize I never told them I changed my phone number. This is all my fault. How could I have forgotten? I should have been there for him.