by Tessa Thorne
“No, thank you.” Angella smiles back. “We’re very happy to buy a stake in your company.”
Sanjup nods his agreement. “I wish we didn’t have to leave so soon, but we have another appointment we can’t miss.”
“We understand,” I say. I wait until they’ve exited the restaurant before I turn around and hug Jasmin. We jump up and down crying happy glees, drawing odd stares from the people around us. But it doesn’t matter. We scored the big one.
“I need to do the math,” Jasmin says, “but I think this is going to let us expand and keep operating for two more years.”
“I can’t believe how well that went,” I say, collapsing back in my chair and refilling our glasses of wine.
“Why not?” Jasmin asks. “You’ve been working your ass off this last week, and the demo killed.”
“I know,” I say, flexing the fingers on my off-hand while raising my glass of wine to clink against Jasmin’s. “I swear to God, I’ve got calluses on the tip of every finger.”
“It’s nice to see you back to your old self,” Jasmin says, giving me a sly look. “Maybe it has something to do with Rocco?”
My face flushes with heat, and I gulp down the rest of the wine. “Maybe,” I say from behind the glass.
“You two were fucking that night I watched Ethan, weren’t you?” she asks, her voice loud enough to be heard by the whole restaurant.
“Jesus, keep your voice down,” I say. Then I rest my elbows on the table and grin up at her. “We didn’t not fuck.”
“Holy shit.” Jasmin laughs. “That’s amazing. Where did you go?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure.” I laugh. “Some nearby woods.”
“He fucked you in the woods?” Her eyes go wide in disbelief. “Why doesn’t any guy try that with me?”
I nod with a small grin on my lips. I can feel my face flushing even deeper as I remember the way he took me. On top of his car, my breasts bouncing in the open air, his massive cock slamming deep inside me till I screamed.
“God damn, babe.” She smiles, slapping my arm. “You deserve it. Especially after everything you've been through. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you.” I smile.
I’m happy, too. For the first time in a real long time, I feel safe with Rocco around to protect me. I’m not worried about Ethan. He finally has a good man he can look up to. A man who seems to care for him, too. He volunteered to take him to the baseball game today. I’d been so upset that I had to miss it for this meeting, that I hadn’t even told him because I didn’t want to see that disappointed look on his face. Instead, Rocco saved me. To see that bright look on his face when Rocco told him he’d be there for him made my whole day. It helped me get through this meeting without worrying about him.
I don’t know when I started thinking of Rocco as a good man, and stopped thinking of him as a criminal. But I just can’t see him that way anymore. Not with the way he is around Ethan. And not with the way he treats me. I married a cop, and he wouldn’t stop beating on me. Maybe being with a mobster isn’t as crazy as it sounds.
Jasmin snaps her hand in front of my face. “You lost in your own thoughts, girl.” She laughs. “We should get going.”
I shake my head to clear my thoughts. “Yeah.” I take my phone out of my purse and turn it back on. “Let’s get going.”
As we step out of the restaurant, my phone starts buzzing with notifications of missed phone calls and voicemails. Most of them from Harry’s number.
What the hell is this? I never gave him this number.
“You okay?” Jasmin asks, stopping outside the door with me.
“Yeah,” I say. “I just need to check this message. I’ll see you back in the office, okay?”
“Okay, babe.” She kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll see you later.”
I watch her walk back to the office with her usual quick pace. I’d give anything to be in her heels now. Living an uncomplicated life, with no crazy ex to deal with.
But this is my world now. One second I’m happy as can be, looking forward to a bright future. And the next second, I’m worried that the worst is yet to come. A message from Harry can’t be anything good. It’s not like he’s calling me to wish me well with the rest of my life.
I step by a newsstand to avoid the pedestrian traffic on the street and listen to the voicemail. My stomach sinks as I listen to the message. Then I listen a second and a third time to make sure I heard it right.
The cops took in Rocco after Ethan’s baseball game. And now Ethan’s being held by social services at an NYPD station. They better not let Harry near him!
I nearly jump out of my shoes as a black Mercedes pulls up nearly on the sidewalk next to me. A bicycle messenger has to swerve out of the car’s way so he doesn’t get hit.
I glare at the driver through the tinted windshield. “Are you crazy?” I scream. “You could have killed me!”
My heart leaps into my throat as the driver’s side door opens and a young man with thick black hair and a pair of black aviators steps out and looks over the roof of the car at me. I recognize him from the night I first met Rocco. This must be Pinky.
“You’re Caitlyn, right?” He speaks with a light Brooklyn accent.
His voice reminds me of Rocco. I stand there, in shock, unsure what to say. What the hell is Pinky doing here?
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, gesturing with an open hand. “Rocco sent me to get you. So you can pick up Ethan from the station.”
I open my mouth to say something, but no words come out. I don’t know who to trust right now. The criminal I foolishly trusted Ethan with just got arrested and Ethan’s at the police station, probably scared out of his mind.
“How did you find me?” I don’t know why it matters, but it’s what comes out of my mouth when I try to speak again.
He looks around nervously, with guilty eyes. If he’s a mobster like his brother, he’s not in the right business.
“I tracked your phone,” he says in a low voice.
“That’s just great,” I say. “Way to make me feel safe.”
He shifts his nervous look into a smug smile. He can’t pull off that cocky look like Rocco can, but I can see where he gets it.
“I can help secure your phone better if you want,” he says. I hear the sound of the doors unlocking as he continues. “But we can take care of that after you’ve got your son back.”
I look at the car, then back to him. I might as well. It’s not like this can get any worse. And I can’t think of any reason Pinky would want to hurt me.
I nod, tuck my purse behind my back and get into the car and slam the door behind me. A second later we pull off onto the street.
I pull on my seat belt as he swerves around a cab that pulls over to pick up passengers and swings the car into a sharp left turn. He’s driving very aggressively.
I lean my hand against the dash as he pulls onto a main road, running through a new red light. He looks over at me and smiles.
“Don’t worry. We’ll get there real quick,” he says.
“I appreciate it.” I grit my teeth together to keep bile from rising in the back of my throat.
Reality is crashing down harder on me with every second that passes. My ex did this to Ethan to get back at me. Harry will do anything to get what he wants. I should have ended this. I shouldn’t have taken this half measure.
I put my purse on my lap, squeezing it to feel the reassuring weight of the heavy steel of the gun inside. I could do it. I could just kill him. Finish this once and for all. But what would happen to Ethan? I’d be thrown in jail. Branded a cop killer. No one would believe me that it was for self-defense. Just like when the court kept tossing out my restraining orders.
“You don’t have to be so worried,” Pinky says.
I look over at him, and he’s got a calm expression. Like he’s trying to calm me down. I must be showing every emotion I’m feeling on my face.
“Easier said than do
ne,” I spit out.
Damn it. I don’t mean to be so harsh. It’s not like this is Pinky’s fault. He’s just trying to help.
“My bro’s going to be out of lockup in a few hours,” he says. “And he’s going to have Vini stay with you guys at his place until he gets out.”
I look over at him as I lean into another sharp turn. “Who’s Vini?”
Pinky laughs. “A guy no one will want to fuck with.”
“Can you stay with us instead?” I ask. I’ve never heard Rocco talk about Vini. But judging by the way Pinky makes him sound, I don’t want him around Ethan.
He looks at me and shrugs. “If that’s what you want.”
“Thanks.”
I watch Brooklyn go by for a few minutes in silence, imagining every worst case scenario. I can’t believe this happened. The police should have called me directly. I can’t believe they let Harry call me given our history.
“We’ll be there in a few minutes,” Pinky says.
He keeps looking over at me like he wants to say something. But he keeps silent. Finally I get tired of him looking over at me without saying anything.
“Just spit it out,” I demand.
He gets that nervous look back in his eyes, and smiles awkwardly. “I was being obvious, wasn’t I?”
“No shit!” I yell.
Now I’m snapping at him again like this was somehow his fault. I take a deep breath, put my face in my hands and let the air out slowly.
“Sorry,” I say, lowering my voice. “I shouldn’t be snapping at you. I appreciate you taking me to the police station. I’m sure you were busy… criming somewhere.”
“That’s funny. Criming somewhere. I guess you’re right.” He laughs. “I was just thinking; I can see why my bro cares for you so much.”
I raise my head and narrow my eyes at him. “He told you that?”
“No.” He laughs again. “He’s not really the talking about his feelings type. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”
“Yeah.” I sigh. “I’ve noticed.”
“He’ll probably kill me for saying this.” He grins as he swerves around a city bus. He pauses for a second for the bus’s air horn to stop honking before he continues. “He definitely likes you. Probably more than that. I’ve never seen him invite a woman to his place more than once, let alone give her a set of keys and let her move in with her kid.”
I feel a surge of jealousy roiling my stomach. I know it’s dumb. Obviously with his looks and unbelievable body, he could get any woman he wants.
Pinky cringes and gives me an apologetic look. “Sorry, don’t tell him I said that. But it’s not something you should be worried about. He hasn’t been near another woman since he met you.”
“Really?” It feels stupid and wrong to be happy to hear that, but I can’t help it.
“Yeah.” Pinky laughs. “Back before he met you, when we’d go out, we’d ask him who he was interested in so we wouldn’t waste our time. Now it’s like we’re going out with a fucking monk.”
I smile and open my mouth to thank him for saying that when he suddenly pulls over and screeches to a stop. A car behind us blasts its horn, but Pinky just puts on his blinkers and unlocks the doors.
“We’re here,” he says. “I’ll be right here to take you back as soon as you get your kid.”
“Thanks.” I throw open the door and I’m about to run out when I feel my purse banging heavily against my hip.
Shit. Probably not a good idea to have this gun on me inside the station. I lean back inside, carefully take the gun out of my purse and hand it over to Pinky.
“Can you hold this for me?” I ask.
“Happy to.” He grins back at me as he takes the gun, checks the safety and slides it under the seat.
I slam the door behind me and rush into the police station. It feels like it takes forever standing in line to talk to someone at the front desk.
Finally, I’m directed to an office where I’m told someone is waiting with my son, though he refuses to tell me who’s in there with him.
I follow the yellow line to the office I was directed to and knock on the door. After a moment, I knock again, but there’s no answer. Just as I’m about to turn back to the front desk, the door unlocks and swings open.
My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach at what I see. Harry’s grinning at me, a familiar cruel light shining in his bloodshot eyes. Past him I see Ethan’s sitting at a square table, his chin hanging down on his chest. His face looks puffy and red from crying.
I want so desperately to reach out and wrap my arms around Ethan. To take him away from the monster holding him hostage, but he’s standing in my way.
“Baby!” I cry out. “Mommy’s here to get you.”
Ethan looks up at me and starts crying again. “Mommy, I’m scared!”
I reach out toward him, but Harry grabs me by the arm and yanks me in through the doorway and slams the door shut behind me.
“So you thought you could get away from me by trading in your cunt for protection, huh?”
He spins me around and slams my back against the wall, knocking the wind out of me. My eyes dart around the room for anything I can use to protect myself against him, but there’s nothing. The light is off on the camera hanging from the ceiling, denying me its meager protection.
“You got nothing to say?” He leans in close enough for me to smell his cheap cologne, and spits on my face.
I’m past being shocked by what he’s willing to do, and all in front of my crying son. He grins at me as his spit slowly rolls down my cheek, down onto my chin.
“Where the fuck did you find that prick?” he demands, wrapping a hand around my neck. “You accuse me of being dangerous, and you move in my son in with a mob triggerman?”
I try to speak out, but his hand tightens around my neck. He leans in closer, till his nose is practically touching mine as his grip grows tighter and tighter around my neck. I cough, trying to get air into my face as black dots swim in front of my vision.
I don’t even want to respond to him. I just want to comfort Ethan as he watches the man I was foolish enough to marry choke the life out of his stupid mother.
I’m so sorry, Ethan. I should have known. I should have protected you from him.
With a curse, Harry releases his death grip on my neck, and I collapse to the floor, gasping and choking for breath. All I can hear are the sounds of my child crying and Harry’s villainous laugh.
“See, what did I tell you, Ethan?” he says as he lifts me up by the lapels of my jacket and slams me back against the wall.
My head bounces against the wall, and then snaps forward into a heavy slap against my cheek.
“I told you your mom would come to her senses.” He laughs as he turns to my crying son. “I told you she wouldn’t be stupid enough to stay with a murderer like Rocco. That she’d come back home to Daddy before I kill Rocco, his brother and everyone else he gives a fuck about.”
He locks eyes with me again as he pulls me on my tiptoes to look him level in the eyes. “He can’t protect you from me,” he says, his pupils shaking with rage. “If you don’t leave his apartment by the end of the night, I’m going to tear apart his life. Right till he kicks you out on your ass and you see how little you’re worth to him.”
“You’re sick!” I scream out.
He smacks me with the back of his hand again, and I can make out the metallic taste of blood in my mouth.
“No,” he says. “I’m your fucking husband, and that little runt’s father. And you will obey me like you swore you would.”
He lets go of my jacket and I slump to the ground with my back against the wall, breathing heavily.
He leans down over me and glares. “You have one night to get out,” he says in a deadly whisper. “Make the smart choice for once in your pathetic life.”
He doesn’t even bother looking back at Ethan before he leaves the room and slams the door shut behind him. I want so desperately to curl up in a corner
and cry. But I have to be strong for Ethan.
I grab onto the edge of the table and lift myself up to my feet and pull Ethan’s head into my chest.
“It’s going to be okay, baby,” I say, rubbing his head comfortingly. “I’m never going to let him lay hands on you again.”
We drive back to Rocco’s place in silence. I sit in the back, holding Ethan’s head in my lap as he cries softly.
Pinky pulls the car into a guest parking spot and steps out of the car and opens the door for us.
“I want the gun back,” I say. My voice leaves no room for argument.
He nods, takes the gun out from under his seat and hands it over to me, grip first. I take it from him and stuff it into my purse, and follow him back to the apartment.
I lead Ethan to the couch and turn on the TV. “Baby,” I say, holding his head in my hands. “Can you sit down and watch TV while Mommy takes care of a few things?”
He nods, only whimpering out a soft cry when he tries to speak. I feel a sharp pain in my heart every time I hear him cry. Each shudder of his voice is like an indictment against how I've performed as a mother. I’ve failed at the one thing I needed to do, which is to protect my baby. It’s time to stop relying on other people, and take things into my own hands. Like I should have done in the first place. To think that I had that one chance to kill him, but I was too afraid of the consequences. No more!
I hand Ethan the remote and I go into my room and start packing our bags. I don’t plan on taking everything this time. Just enough to get out of here. I don’t know where I’m going to go, but I know I can’t stay here. I don’t blame Rocco. This wasn’t his fault. It was mine for thinking that he could protect me against Harry.
As hard as it is to admit it to myself, I really care for Rocco. Maybe I’m even starting to fall in love with him. And I don’t want his life to be torn apart because of me. We can’t be together, and he can’t protect me from Harry. So what’s the point of me staying here when it’ll just wreck his life?
I slide out a briefcase from under the bed, put in the combination and pop the locks open. Rocco never collected on what I owed him. But I’m not leaving without paying him. I count out enough bills to total seventy-five hundred dollars and wrap them into three thick bundles. That’s enough for the six weeks I’ve stayed here. Hopefully the money will make up for him getting arrested taking Ethan out to a ball game.