by Tessa Thorne
Saying he cares for me is a long way from saying he’s in love with me.
Jasmin’s already at her desk opposite mine by the time I get upstairs. Of course she is. I really need to start contributing my fair share to our company. I got a good night of sleep despite everything, so that’s a good start.
“Morning, babe!” Jasmin beams a wide smile at me as I sit down across from her and boot up my machine.
“Hey Jasmin.” I smile back at her.
She narrows her eyes at me and her smile turns into a playful grin. “You’re glowing.”
“Am I?” I ask, trying to stay coy.
“Don’t think you're fooling me, girl.” She laughs.
Her fingers are clattering on her keyboard the entire time we’re talking. I don’t know how she’s so good at multitasking.
“What are you trying to say?” I ask, avoiding meeting her eyes. Am I really that easy to read?
“Okay.” She laughs. “That’s fine if you want to play it that way.”
I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing with her, and feel my face flushing.
“Hah!” she says, pointing at my face. “I knew it! You gotta dish.”
I can’t hold back anymore and burst out laughing. God. It really feels like life is returning to normal despite everything. I should be worried out of my mind. Terrified of what’s coming next. But I can’t help laughing with her, and it feels so good.
“I have to get work done.” I look up at her with a smirk. “I’m so far behind.”
“Okay, fine,” she says. “But we’re going to get drinks or lunch and you are going to tell me everything.”
I nod. “Deal.”
“Look me in the eyes,” she says, tapping her nails on the desk till I look up at her. “Everything, got it?”
“Got it.” I smile proudly. I’ve never been the one with the crazy sex stories. For once it’s going to be me on top.
God. Even that thought makes me want to giggle like a little girl.
I stand outside in the hot afternoon sun as foot traffic flows around us. The weather has matched the day so far; just perfect.
“Seriously, Jasmin,” I say, making my voice firm. “You don’t need to wait with me.”
“I insist,” she says, balling up her fists. “If that asshole dares show his face around here, I’m going to knock his bitch ass to the ground.”
“Okay, fine,” I say. I may be arguing against her staying, but it’s nice to have the company. It’s not that I don’t believe what Rocco said. I don’t really think Harry will show his face around here and try something. But it’s still nice of her.
“I’m fairly sure you just want to get another good look at Rocco.” I laugh.
She grins and shrugs. “Can’t blame a girl for trying after the stories you told me.” She grins and shrugs. “I wanna see him in broad daylight to see if he’s as hot as I remember.”
I grab her arm and pull her in close to whisper in her ear. “He is.”
“You’ve gotta be lying about his dick though.” She laughs. “There’s no way he’s that big.”
I pull her in again. “Bigger.”
She cracks up even harder. “And you’re really gonna let him put it in your…”
“Hey!” I pinch her forearm. “What did I say about repeating what I said?”
“I can’t help it.” She laughs. “You’re not gonna be able to walk for a week.”
“It’ll be worth it.” I laugh back.
“What’s so funny, Mommy?”
I turn around and feel a full-blown blush spreading on my face when I see Ethan’s little head leaning out of the open window. Rocco’s grinning at me as he steps out of the driver’s seat. We were laughing so hard, I didn’t hear them pull up.
“Hey, you.” I rush up to the window and pinch his cheek.
“What were you laughing at?” He twists his cheek out of my fingers.
“Nothing, baby.” I want to stomp on Jasmin’s foot when I hear her cracking up again behind me. “Just a dumb joke.”
“Can you tell me the joke?” Ethan asks as Rocco opens the door for me.
“Uh…” I look back at Jasmin. “What was that joke again?”
“You’re on your own, babe.” She grins at me before turning to Rocco. “Nice to see you again.”
“Hey.” Rocco nods at her as he closes the door behind me.
“You go easy on my girl, you hear?” Jasmin says with a stern look. “Or me and you gonna have a problem.”
Rocco grins at her as he walks back to the driver’s side. “Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of her.”
“I know you will.” She winks.
“See you tomorrow.” I wave at her as Rocco pulls the car out onto the street. Meanwhile, Ethan’s still asking me to tell him the joke.
I turn around in my seat and look back at him. “Sorry, baby. It’s an adult joke. I can’t repeat it.”
Rocco laughs softly. “She seems like a good friend. She really cares for you.”
I put my hand over his on the gearshift and rub my thumb over his. The way he said she ‘cares’ for me reminds me that that’s exactly what he said.
Friends care for each other. They’re not in love with each other. I keep glancing at his face from the corner of my eyes as we drive back to the apartment.
I can’t keep denying to myself that I’ve fallen in love with him. But is he in love with me? Or does he just care for me?
I turn my eyes back to the street and notice we just missed the turn for his apartment.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“I wanted to take you two out for dinner.” He turns to me and grins. “Figured you wouldn’t mind.”
“I don’t.” I smile at him and turn back in my seat to look at Ethan. “You want to go out and have dinner with Rocco?”
Ethan leans against his seat belt and looks at Rocco in the rearview mirror. “What kind of food?”
“That’s not nice, Ethan,” I say sternly. “You should just say ‘yes, thank you.’”
Rocco laughs softly. “It’s gonna be a surprise.”
It’s a short drive to the restaurant, but it takes far too long in the traffic. Eventually he pulls to a stop in front of a restaurant with a black awning covered with curvy golden script that spells out ‘Corramandel.’
Ethan leans out the window and screams excitedly, “Is that an Indian restaurant?”
“Sure is.” Rocco smiles at me as he puts on his blinkers, steps out of the car and lifts Ethan out of the car.
I smile up at Rocco and take his free hand in mine, and squeeze. “This was a really nice idea.”
He smiles back at me and turns to Ethan. “I know you’ve got really discriminating taste, so I brought you to the best Indian restaurant in New York City.”
The line winding out the door is proof of that. My stomach rumbles as I imagine how long we’re going to be waiting in line. Rocco doesn’t bother parking the car, and leads me by my hand, with Ethan still in his arms to the front of the line.
He hands his keys to a valet and steps past the line into the restaurant. It’s packed inside. Looks like it’s not just a popular restaurant. It’s got a huge bar and it’s overflowing with twenty-something professionals.
The hostess looks confused for a moment as he steps up to her, but her face suddenly brightens up when she recognizes Rocco.
“Mr. Armati!” She beams. “It’s very nice to have you here again.”
“Been a while.” He nods at her. “Can we get a quiet booth?”
“Of course.” She smiles back, flipping through her reservation book.
I lean in past Rocco’s shoulder to get her attention. “How long of a wait is it going to be?”
She looks up from her book and smiles brightly at me. “Mr. Armati never has to wait here.”
I look up at him, narrowing my eyes, and he shrugs and smirks back at me. I guess there are bennies to being with a man like him.
A server leads
us to our table and they bring a booster seat for Ethan. I don’t think I’ve seen him this excited for a long time. He needs my help going through the menu but he wants to try everything, and Rocco’s more than willing to indulge him.
The food lives up to Rocco’s billing as the best Indian food in the city. Ethan’s a tough critic and he loves everything he tries, and he’s tried practically everything by the time we're done. The fridge is going to be full of leftovers when we get home.
He’s in a full food coma by the time we’re ready to head home. He doesn’t complain when Rocco picks him up, resting his little head on his massive shoulder. He complains a lot when I try to pick him up, but he doesn’t seem to mind when Rocco does it. I can’t blame him.
Ethan’s asleep by the time we get home. Rocco carries him into his bedroom and lays him down gently on the bed. He watches me as I tuck him under the sheets and give him a gentle kiss on the forehead.
“He’s a good kid,” Rocco whispers, putting his arm around my shoulders.
I smile up at him. There’s a sense of sadness in his eyes he tries to hide when I look into his eyes.
I lean up and kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you for tonight. He really needed that.”
“I enjoyed it as much as him,” Rocco says.
“Are you going to be up?” I ask.
“Yeah.” He nods at me. “You want to take a bath?”
“Am I that obvious?” I laugh softly.
“You’ve got a routine.” He grins.
“That’s fair.” I smile. “Don’t go anywhere.”
“I’ll be right here.” He takes out his phone and I can see him texting as I head into the bathroom and draw a bath.
God. What a day. If only every day could be like this. Except without the sadness in his eyes. I want to ask him what’s going on, but I don’t want to ruin everything by digging too deep. I’m going to stop myself for once and let the night end beautifully.
I smell the subtle scent of sandalwood when I step out of the bathroom. I step into the living room and see a pair of candles lit on the coffee table, along with a bottle of red wine and a pair of full crystal glasses. Rocco’s sitting on the couch smiling, waiting for me to join him.
“No better way to end a night than with a glass or two of wine and a cooking show.” He pats his hand on the couch next to him.
“I can think of a way.” I bite my lip, and bat my lashes at him as I take his invitation.
“That’s my girl.” He hands me a glass, takes his, puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me against his side. “Salute.”
We clink our glasses together and take a sip.
“This is really good,” I say, taking another sip.
“Broke out a bottle I’d been saving for a special occasion,” he says.
“What’s the special occasion?” I ask.
“You.” He smiles, but there’s that look of sadness in his eyes again.
I bring the glass to my lips and take a long sip to keep myself from blurting out a question. Today has been perfect and I just can’t ruin it. Besides, it’s probably nothing. I’m reading too much into a look. I’m not a psychologist.
We watch the show quietly, drinking away the bottle of wine. When the show ends, Rocco turns to me. “Been thinking,” he says. “You should teach me how to cook.”
I press my head against his chest, and he puts his fingers through my damp hair. “I can do that,” I say, and turn to look up at him. “Why do you want to learn now?”
He shrugs. “Every good man’s gotta know how to cook.”
I kiss him on the chin. “I’ve never had a man cook for me before.”
“Teach me right and I’ll change that for you.” He lifts my chin with a finger and kisses me on the lips. “Nothing would make me happier.”
We lock eyes for a moment in silence. The only sound I hear is the sound of his heart pounding strong in his chest. He leans down again and kisses me on the lips. He lingers longer this time, his tongue tasting at my lips.
I sigh as our lips part. I don’t want this moment to ever end. I open my mouth to tell him I love him, but he kisses me again, stealing my breath.
His arms wrap around me as he leans me back against the couch, kissing me insistently. His lips grow more aggressive, sucking my tongue into his mouth to tangle with his.
I gasp for breath when our lips finally part. I would have let myself run out of air before willingly parting from his lips.
“I want to have you in my bed,” he says.
I nod and laugh as he jumps up from the couch, and lifts me up into his arms. He carries me into the bedroom like a fireman and lays me down across his bed.
“You’ve made me a very lucky man,” he says as he kneels down on the bed above my body and unwraps the belt around my robe.
I breathe in slowly as he parts my robe and trails his fingers softly down my body. He caresses my jaw, moving down my neck and across my collarbone. My breasts swell as his fingers trail across their curves, down my stomach into the hollow of my hips.
“I’d have no regrets if I were struck blind by God,” he says as he comes down on top of me and crushes his lips against mine.
I can feel his hard cock pressing against me as he wraps his arms around me and pulls my body against his. I wrap my arms around him, hook my calves behind his thighs and feel him grind his cock against me.
“I’ve wanted you all day,” I breathe into his mouth as he pulls away, dragging my bottom lip between his teeth.
He braces himself above me, his steely arms at my sides as he looks down into my eyes.
I breathe heavily under him, spreading my legs, waiting for him to take off his shorts and thrust himself into me, but he waits, his eyes roiling with emotion.
“I love you.” His words break the silence like a thunderclap.
I’m stunned, unable to speak.
“I’ve loved you since the first day I met you,” he says as my heart pounds in my chest. “I just didn’t know what the feeling was.”
“I love you, too,” I gasp out as he presses his lips softly against mine.
“No matter what happens, I want you to know that I love you, and I love Ethan like my own son,” he says.
I can’t help but think about those first words. No matter what happens. But before I can dwell on it and let it grow into a thought that could ruin this magic moment, he kisses me again.
This time he doesn’t relent. He rains kisses down my body, and not a part of my body is neglected. He kisses down my arm to the tips of my fingers. He kisses up from my toes to my inner thighs. He kisses the curves of my breasts and their hardened peaks, teasing me with a gentle bite.
He has me gasping and writhing beneath his lips. I’m desperate for more when he makes his way down my belly, and presses his soft lips against my core. He teases me at first, kissing me with only a gentle touch of his tongue. I gasp under him, spreading myself out, inviting him to my entrance. He smiles up at me with his black eyes as he dips his tongue between my lips and tastes my sweetness. I sigh as he dips his tongue inside me, rolling his tongue between my folds.
I groan as he pulls my lips into his mouth and sucks gently, gasping at his teasing nips. My breath starts to come quickly, and becomes increasingly more ragged as he draws his attention up to my clit. Masterfully he flicks it with his tongue, kissing and nipping around it gently. I lift my hips and grind into his mouth as he slips two fingers inside me, curling them inside. He has me so on edge, I cum almost instantly, kicking my heels against his back, thrashing my head back and forth, trying to keep myself from screaming out.
I’m still gasping for breath as he climbs up on me. I open my eyes and finding him staring back at me. He kisses me softly on the lips, nudges my legs open wider with his hips, and presses the tip of his cock against my entrance.
“I want you inside me,” I whisper.
He grins, kisses me again on the lips and slides his length inside of me. This time is not like any other.
He takes me gently, easing himself in till he’s fully inside me. His eyes never leave mine as he pulls out and thrusts back in, quicker this time. I part my lips, gasping softly as he picks up his speed. I never imagined him loving me this tenderly. But it feels just as good. He wraps his arms under my body, lifting me up against his chest.
I rest my head in the crook of his neck, kissing him softly, kissing the shell of his ear as my body begins to tense.
He senses my building orgasm and picks up his speed, his cock hitting the back of my pussy with every thrust. He fists my hair gently, pulls my head back and locks his lips onto mine as I cum. I moan in his mouth, wrapping my legs tightly around him, and arching my back as his body tenses and I feel him cumming inside me.
We cum together for what feels like an eternity before he lowers me gently onto the bed and lies on top of me, his cock still twitching inside me.
“I love you,” he whispers with a smile on his lips. His face is glowing like never before. It’s almost enough to hide that hint of sadness in his eyes.
“I love you too, Rocco,” I breathe out slowly, my body still shuddering under him.
He kisses me softly, trailing down my neck before moving to my shoulder and the curves of my breasts, stopping on the gentle curve of my stomach. There's a look on his face. It’s probably just my imagination, but there’s a look of longing on him. As if he wants me to bear his child.
I reach down and gently stroke his hair, pushing it back from his face. He looks up at me and smiles, and in that moment I realize that I know there’s nothing I would want more than to be the mother of his child. He’s been nothing but kind to Ethan. More of a father in these short weeks than Harry ever was. He’d be an amazing father to our children, and I know he’d never make Ethan feel any less his than a child born from his seed.
He climbs up to my side of the bed and rolls over on his back, putting his arm behind my neck. I cuddle in close to him, his arm wrapped around me, and lay my head on his chest.
“This is perfect,” I whisper, tracing the lines of the tattoos on his glistening chest. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.”