I'm not sure how long we stay under. But I'm freezing and my stomach aches from all the water I gulped down. My nerves are shot. If I could've found a way to chew on my fingernails, I would have but that's pretty much impossible when trying to breathe through a hollow stick under the water.
Ryland signals, pointing to the surface.
My belly knots in fear at the idea of him poking his head out to take a look. They could be gone or exactly where he comes up. It's also entirely possible that they know we're here and are simply waiting for us to surface on our own. I don't want him to go.
We can stay under the water indefinitely... can't we?
But the reality is that we can't. He lays a palm across my cheek. The tender movement is fleeting, gone before I can even register the gesture. A moment later, I watch him carefully break the surface. He's above for what feels like an eternity before finally motioning for me to join him. I shoot to the surface besides him.
Releasing a shaky breath I realize that if Ryland hadn't come up with the breathing straws we would be dead right now. Without a word spoken between us, we quietly dart to the other side of the stream. I have no idea what direction the faerie guard headed off in but we can't waste another moment at the stream. It feels as if the faerie guard is closing in on us. We've been lucky in evading them so far but there are only so many times that we're going to be able to slip unknowingly past them. We pull ourselves tiredly from the water. Our clothing drips water and there’s a distinct chill in the brisk night air. My body starts to shiver. Whether it's from the cold or fear, I don't know.
Again we skulk across the ground while snaking our way through the dark meadow. I imagine this is what it feels like to be in the military. Cold. Wet. Hungry. Crawling around on your belly trying not to be detected by the enemy. If I make it through this alive, I can cross that occupation off my list of possible future careers.
Even though it was only yesterday that I walked through this meadow, I can't remember exactly how far the cottage was from the stream. Was it a quarter mile? A whole mile? I just want this over with. Initially the water made my hand feel better but now it's back to throbbing again. The makeshift bandage is soggy and chafes when it rubs against the wound.
Lifting my head, I search the darkness, thinking that this all looks vaguely familiar. Hope sparks within me. We have to be close! Ryland stops and I continue crawling until we lay side by side. He holds my eyes steadily.
"If I'm able to do this," he pauses, "as soon as you see the cottage take form, you run towards it and open the door. I don't know how long I'll be able to hold it."
I nod, ready to run. Trust me, I am so ready to run! I can't believe we've actually made it this far. Excitement spears through me. Relief a close second. "You'll be behind me, right?"
For just a moment he glances away before his eyes slide back to mine. He gives me a tight smile. "Don't worry, I'll be behind you- just run. Don't focus on anything else but getting to the cottage and through the door."
A prickle of unease threads its way through me. Is he lying to me? But there's no time. No time to question him. I have to believe that he has every intention of coming back to the human world with me. Now that we're here, time is of the essence. The faerie guard could happen upon us at any moment. I nod waiting for him to do whatever it is he needs to do. Quickly he presses his lips to mine before pulling away. With a look of concentration, he closes his eyes. My heart spasms.
This is it.
I can barely breathe I'm so nervous. Even though I believe in Ryland, I can't help but wonder what we'll do if this doesn't work. How can we possibly survive in the Faerie Realm any longer than we already have? This is the only way out and if Ryland isn't able to conjure the cottage, we're as good as dead.
Every moment that slowly trickles by feels like an eternity. I keep waiting for the faerie guard to burst across the meadow with their golden arrows ready to fly. My belly spasms in agitation. My swollen hand throbs.
I just want to go home.
I just want to make it out of here alive.
I want to see my parents again.
Another heartbeat, then two, slowly crawls past. My hope, which was so high before, begins to waver. I hold my tongue not wanting to say anything that could distract him. I hold it all inside until I'm ready to explode. The disappointment is all but crushing. My eyes stay fastened upon him. His are squeezed tightly shut as he continues muttering quietly to himself almost as if he's praying or chanting. I can barely make out the words. They come so fast and low.
Shouldn't it have happened by now?
How long does something like this take?
My eyes dart to the meadow where the cottage should appear before bouncing quickly back to Ryland. He continues his quiet muttering. The words come faster now, all slurred together, indecipherable. My eyes dart nervously back and forth waiting, watching for the first sign of the faerie guard.
Why hasn't the cottage appeared? What's taking so long?
Nausea rolls around in the pit of my belly. Any moment it will all come bolting upwards.
It's not working.
We're never going to leave this place.
I'm going to die here.
Tonight.
We're both going to die.
That thought is all but a certainty right now.
At least ten agonizing minutes crawl by before Ryland finally opens his eyes and looks at me. His gaze is full of heartbreak and sadness. Slightly taken aback, I realize that his features are drawn and pale. He looks surprisingly more haggard than a mere fifteen minutes before. Even in the cool night air, beads of sweat have popped up across his brow. A toll has been extracted for trying to conjure the cottage. My heart leaps before twisting painfully. I didn't expect that. I didn't expect that there would be a price to pay. Without him saying a word, I know it's not working. For whatever reason, he isn't able to make the cottage reappear.
With my good hand, I squeeze his fingers. The calmness of my voice surprises even me. "Just try again."
What other choice do we have?
None.
If he's not able to conjure the cottage, this game is as good as over for we can't continue running and hiding indefinitely. Is tonight the night that the Faerie Queen finally wins? Is this how our story ends? If we both die this night, there will be no more spells or magic or enchantments to bring us back together again. It will be over.
We will finally be over.
Taking a deep breath, he nods tiredly before closing his eyes again. He focuses all of his energy on the space where the stone cottage once stood. I watch as he slides into some kind of trance. My heart spasms and almost unbelievably, after a moment of holding my breath, I see the faint outline of the cottage shimmer before my unbelieving eyes. The very air seems unexpectedly charged with energy. My breath whooshes out as I stare incredulously at it. It's the very same one I saw in the woods.
Even though I expected it, prayed for it even, I can't help but be stunned by its sudden appearance on the landscape. My eyes widen because, yes, I was waiting for this to occur but to actually see something so huge simply materialize out of thin air is nothing less than astonishing. It literally takes my breath away. I gasp as the image solidifies. No longer can I see through it. Awed, I glance over at Ryland because it seems unimaginable that he's even capable of something so amazing.
Holding himself absolutely rigid, he doesn't even glance my way but I hear his thick whisper none the less. It slices through the trance that has fallen over me.
"Go! Run! Now!"
The sharp crack of his words snap me from my stupor and I'm just getting to my knees, ready to dash toward the cottage, when I hear the pounding of horse hoofs shaking the ground in the distance. My heart lurches painfully and the insides of my belly twist into a tight knot. I pause, frantically searching the dark horizon until I see them thundering towards us en masse. Ten formally dressed faerie guards bent low over the necks of their massive white stallions as they cr
ush the tall grass beneath their giant hoofs are a frighteningly menacing sight to behold.
What I'm staring at is death.
My death.
Unable to move, my body freezes before I hear Ryland yell, "Go, Lili, run! Now!"
His words are all the impetus I need to sprint madly for the cottage door. Every footfall that brings me closer to my world, has the faerie guard closing the gaping distance between us at an alarming speed. What I don't know is if we can make it in time! The trembling that shakes the ground continues to grow, the noise becomes almost deafening.
"Come on, Ryland! Get up!" I scream the words as I glance back at Ryland. I need to know that he's behind me.
I expected to see him right on my heels, running just as wildly for the cottage as I am. I'm almost there now. Only a few feet separates me from my world, from safety. The ground continues to shake violently with their impending arrival.
With impending doom.
They're coming so fast! Too Fast!
But that quick glance thrown over my shoulder tells me that Ryland is not behind me. My heart ices over with the realization that he's still lying on the ground.
What's he still doing there?
I shriek as sudden understanding slams into me. He has absolutely no intention of leaving the Faerie Realm. My shaking hand rests on the golden knob but I don't look at the doorway, at my salvation. My wide eyes hold Ryland's, pleading desperately with his resolute ones. As I watch the faerie guard thunder down upon us with Ryland still on the ground holding my eyes, I know I have a decision to make. It feels like slow motion unfolding around me even though it's anything but. Everything is happening at lightning speed.
"I won't go without you!" Hot tears gather before falling from my eyes.
I know he hears me because I see the sudden flash of anger erupt across his face.
"I can't hold the conjure much longer, Lili, please, just go! You have to go!"
My heart lurches realizing that he lied to me. He simply told me what I wanted to hear. Holding his eyes, I remove my hand from the door. I've never been more frightened in my life. But I've never been more certain either. The thunder of horse hoofs tearing up the ground grows louder by the heartbeat. For all I know, arrows are being drawn at this very instant.
I don't dare look.
I can't bear to look.
I can't tear my eyes from Ryland's.
With an exasperated growl, he flies from the ground darting towards me. His lips are pulled back into a tight angry line bearing his teeth. He runs full throttle at me. When he's close enough, I place my hand onto the golden knob.
I won't leave without him.
An arrow whizzes closely, frighteningly close, past his head and I scream as another just narrowly misses impaling his bicep. Instead it slices open the skin of his arm. Blood instantly wells where the shirt was slashed. Throwing open the door, I hesitate on the threshold wanting to go through together when he slams into my chest knocking me into the human world.
Screaming, I fly backwards.
My arms flail, pin wheeling helplessly, in surprise. The breath whooshes out of me as I slam into the dirt and rocks on the other side of the door. For a stunned moment I simply lay there. My eyes water as I gasp for breath. I can't move. I can't breathe. Pain radiates throughout my entire body. I think my left shoulder might be dislocated. My ribs explode with pain. I whimper, unsure if I can move. I'm afraid of inflicting even more damage.
My mind clouds with anguish but it's the deafening silence that finally slices through all of it. I realize something’s different. No... something’s wrong. Something is very wrong. No longer are there thundering hooves barreling at break neck speed towards me. There aren't golden arrows whizzing by, trying to impale me. Everything is completely, utterly silent. I hear crickets chirping as if it has always been quiet and serene here. As I bolt upwards, pain screams from so many different parts of my body that all at once I'm dizzy and breathless. I'm not even sure what hurts most, because everything aches.
Before I can move, I'm slapped with another realization.
Ryland.
Frantically I shoot up again, uncaring of the pain that continues to streak brilliantly through me from the inside out as I search the surrounding area for him. But he's not here. One glance around the quiet forest tells me that he didn't tumble through the door with me.
Where is he?
Why didn't he come with me?
My eyes light upon the stone cottage near the creek. The very sight of it steals my breath away. The sheer magic of it.
I have no choice but to go back for him. I can't just leave him there to fight the faerie guard by himself. I can't bear to wonder if he's dead or alive. I can't live without him. My heart lurches as the cottage starts to shimmer and waver before my eyes. No longer does it appear solid. It looks more like a movie being shown on a flat wall. Nothing more than a projected image that I can wave my hand through.
Grimacing and grunting, I scramble to my feet before staggering slowly over to it. I wrap my arm around my ribs because right now, I feel like they might actually fall right out of my body. The closer I get, the more the cottage flickers, fading with every ragged breath I inhale. My watering eyes widen, I can feel them bulging from their sockets. When I try to grab the golden handle, my hand slides right through it.
Ryland!
Shocked, I scream.
I scream as if I am coming unhinged.
It's a terrifying sound.
Even to my own ears.
"Ryyyyylanddddd!"
I scream his name over and over again until I’m so hoarse no more audible sound croaks out. But I can't stop saying his name. Tears slide miserably down my face.
He's gone.
He's really gone.
Why didn't he come back with me?
How could he leave me like this?
Brokenly I sink to my knees. The sobbing becomes uncontrollable. I'm inconsolable. I wait, hoping the cottage will suddenly, magically reappear. That he'll miraculously step through the door and into my bruised arms.
I don't want to lose him.
I can't lose him when I've only just found him.
Glancing up through swollen eyes, I gasp because now the cottage has completely vanished as if it never really existed at all. And Ryland has disappeared with it. I can only stare speechlessly at where the cottage used to stand before burying my head in my hands.
Everything hurts.
My head.
My arms.
My legs.
My ribs.
My back.
But most of all, my heart.
It hits me that I'm truly back in the human world.
In the forest near my house.
It seems almost unbelievable that I should be here when only moments ago I was running for my life. We were both running for our lives. Where is he now? Is he even alive? My heart shatters at that thought. Tears leak from my eyes once more. I don't know what else to do but wrap my bare arms around my knees and sob with all the useless emotion that keeps flooding through me.
I have no idea how much time slides by.
When I finally lift my head from my knees, I glance around at the forest that surrounds me. Slowly I blink my eyes because my head feels thick and cloudy. Disorientated. Heavy. Nothing feels real. Everything feels off balance and fuzzy. And I realize that I don't quite understand what's going on. I know I understood it a few moments ago but now, for some reason, it's not entirely clear. My hands shake and I can't help but stare down at them as if they don't really belong to me. A shiver of apprehension slithers through me because I can't tell what's real anymore.
What's happening to me?
Even though I was crying just a short time ago, the tears start falling once more. There doesn't seem to be an end to them. In no time at all, I'm back to sobbing uncontrollably. It doesn't stop until there is nothing left inside me but hollowed out space.
No emotion.
Only numbness
and exhaustion.
Even though everything hurts, I curl up into a tight little ball. Before I know it, my mind starts to drift. I have no idea how long I lay on the cold, hard, leaf littered ground. When I finally open my eyes, a new day is just starting to break over the forest. For just a moment, I watch the sun as it rises over the tops of the trees in the east and something pings in the back of my mind but I can't quite grasp hold of it. I stare at the vibrant pink and purple horizon, willing whatever memory this is to the surface.
What is it that I can't remember?
Slowly, groggily, I rise to my feet, which is a major undertaking considering that everything aches or feels bruised and sore. I grimace, hissing out a string of curse words between my teeth.
Frowning, I turn back towards the creek because I'm pretty sure there should be something else there but for the life of me I can't remember what. In fact, I can't remember why I'm even here. None of this makes sense. I look down at my clothing, dumbfounded that I'm such a dirty ragged mess. Gasping, I run my shaking fingers over the dried blood on my tank top and shorts.
Was I out running?
Was I attacked?
But wouldn't I remember something as traumatic as that?
Panic and confusion wash over me again. Something tightens uncomfortably in my belly. None of this makes sense. My heart starts pounding until it feels like it might explode. I never leave the trail through the woods, why did I this time? Tears well in my eyes because I feel so confused and muddled. Any moment I'm going to lose it. Icy cold tendrils of panic spread throughout my chest. It won't be long before they tighten around my throat and strangle the very life out of me.
Why am I waking up in the woods?
Why am I so dirty and bruised?
Why does every part of my body ache or feel possibly broken?
Was I sleeping out here?
Why would I do that?
What's most disturbing is that I can't think of a single reasonable explanation that answers any of these questions let alone all of them.
Forgotten Page 22