“My mom would never let me have a tattoo,” Shannon said. “You’re so lucky.”
“My dad thinks only gang members and prisoners get tattoos,” Nikolai said with a shrug. “But my mom is cool with it.”
“I wish my mom was a Gypsy,” Shannon said.
“Romany,” three of us corrected in unison, and we all laughed, even Shannon, after she grimaced a little “oopsie” face.
“Hey,” Nikolai said with a shy smile. “Happy birthday, Ana. I got you something. Remind me to give it to you, after.”
My blush deepened. “Uh, thanks.”
“Yeah, happy birthday,” Shannon added quickly.
I thanked everyone, and we all fell into an awkward kind of silence.
“So here we are,” Bea said conspiratorially. “The Four.”
We all looked at one another in turn. During the ceremony, we’d represent the four directions, the four elements, and the four winds. I would be east and represent air and new beginnings, Bea would be the fiery south with her flirtatious passion, Nikolai would be west’s deep mysterious water, and Shannon would anchor us all in earth in the north.
“Are you guys ready?” Nikolai asked. “I am so psyched.”
While everyone else nodded, I didn’t know what to say. At least since things started with me in the east, it’d be over quickly. I hated to ruin everyone’s big night, but at least they could retake the test next year. I felt especially bad for Nik. His Initiation had already been delayed because he was getting some sort of special training from his folks’ people.
“Ana? What’s wrong?” Nikolai’s soft voice cut through my tangled thoughts.
Before I could answer, Bea interrupted, “Her dad showed up tonight.”
“What? No way!” Nikolai and Shannon shouted in surprise, and then began to bombard me with questions: “Seriously? ” “What was he like?” “Is he here?” “Is he a witch?” “What did your mom do?”
Luckily, before I could even begin to formulate a response, the bell that called the meeting to order rang out. We all hushed and turned toward the center of the room where the high priestess stood. Tonight, the high priestess would be Bea’s aunt Diane, who seemed to look directly at me when she said, “I dreamed of tonight. It will be auspicious for these young people, and we shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer. We’ll set up in the grove. . . .”
Diane continued spelling out the administrative things she needed done—where people would stand, what things needed to be preplaced, and where. I knew it all already by heart, and I found myself watching Diane as she talked. Diane was a stout woman, the sort people always said looked as though they came from “sturdy, peasant stock.” Her steel gray hair was cut short. Tonight she wore a simple black button-down shirt and matching jeans that didn’t do much to flatter her gender-neutral, squarish figure. She would have looked severe and decidedly unfriendly had it not been for her quick and easy laugh. Diane found so much humor in the world that she was rarely without a broad smile or a deep, explosive belly laugh. She was a kind and fair teacher, if demanding. I always really liked Diane, even though, at first, I’d been scared of her gruff exterior.
I was glad that Diane would be the one officiating this disaster. If anyone could potentially salvage it, it would be her.
Now Diane was waving everyone off to their respective assignments. After a noisy exodus, the five of us remained in the room. Diane came up to the circle of friends, and gave each a soft smile. “Okay,” she said. “I want you all to take a moment to meditate before you take your positions in the circle. The Initiation is more than just a test. It’s a coming of age. When we are finished tonight, you will be transformed into witches of the coven—full members with all the benefits and responsibilities that entails. While you’re meditating, I want you to consider what you will contribute to our group. When you’re ready, come out with an open and willing heart.”
“In perfect love and perfect trust,” the four of us intoned with a weighty seriousness.
Diane laughed. “Remember to have fun too.”
“Thanks, Auntie Diane.” Bea smiled.
“Yeah, thanks,” the rest of us agreed, though my voice was softer and more nervous than the others’.
Diane seemed to sense my hesitation and caught my eye. She put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a quick, reassuring squeeze. “Nothing ever goes exactly as planned. Make your own destiny.”
I frowned in mild confusion. That was certainly a strange thing to say for a pep talk. “Uh, okay.”
With a nod to everyone, Diane swept out the sliding glass door with a flourish, leaving us on our own.
“What’s with the destiny thing?” Bea asked, jealousy creeping into her voice.
“Shhh,” Shannon admonished, bowing her head. “We’re supposed to be meditating.”
“I’m sure she meant that for everyone,” Nikolai said. “She just happened to be looking at Ana.”
“You guys, you’re breaking my concentration,” Shannon said, moving away from the group to stand on the other side of the built-in stone fireplace.
“Sorry. Jeez, who knew you needed absolute silence to concentrate? I thought you were supposed to be some kind of magical genius,” Bea said, though her eyes stayed locked on me.
I just wanted to shrink away from this whole affair, so I said, “I meditate better outside. I’m just going to step out onto the porch.” Before anyone could protest, I went to the back hall and grabbed my shoes. Without even bothering to put them on, I slipped through the glass door and closed it behind me.
Once outside, I let out a long, slow breath. The glow from the interior electric lights cast soft yellow light on the wide, cedar planking of the deck. A few patio chairs rested against the wall, and I plopped into one and pulled on my tennies.
Bea could be so jealous, and of the stupidest stuff. Honestly, I would happily exchange places and let Bea be the one with all the so-called “destiny” hanging over her head. Why had Diane said that, anyway? Had she dreamed something specifically about me after all? And did it have anything to do with Ramses showing up?
As if tonight needed more complications.
Once my shoes were laced, I got up to lean on the railing. The wood creaked, startling a rabbit from its hidey spot in the peonies underneath. The bright white of its cottontail quickly disappeared into the thick forest.
Was that a good omen?
Honestly, I didn’t know much about animal totems. It really wasn’t my area of expertise. Nikolai would know, though. I thought about going in and asking him, but when I glanced back at the cabin, I could see that he and Bea were holding hands, their heads bowed. Trust Bea to find a way to meditate and flirt!
Turning back toward the night, I glanced up at the sky. The moon rose just above the line of trees. Its cool, subtle light cast a silvery edge on everything. Magic filled the air; I could sense it. Maybe everyone was right. Perhaps I shouldn’t be so doom and gloom. Just because my powers had never manifested before didn’t mean they wouldn’t tonight, did it? The rabbit might be a good sign after all. Weren’t bunnies supposed to be all about fertility? Maybe some wild seed would sprout inside me right now, at this instant, and everything would actually work out perfectly.
Anything was possible, right?
It’s not like I didn’t believe in magic.
Thus buoyed, I skipped down the short flight of stairs and headed for the trail that led to the glen. I was as ready for the Initiation as I’d ever be. Tall grasses tugged at my jeans, and within steps of the cabin the woods became dark. I slapped at a mosquito and stumbled over a tree root. Just when I thought I should head back to the cabin for a flashlight and bug spray, I spotted a candle in a glass bowl. It floated like a flower, shedding shimmering, delicate light on the path. Two more steps revealed another.
It was a beautiful effect. I smiled when I reached a curve in the path that was slightly elevated and could see the trail of flickering lights leading to a natural opening among the tre
es.
Once within the circle of trees, I saw that candles had been placed in a large circle. The coveners stood in single file around the inner edge, a circle within a circle within a circle. Everyone whose eyes met mine smiled warmly and encouragingly. Mom gave me a nod and a proud look. The person standing closest to me stepped aside, and I jumped over the candle barrier and made my way into my designated spot. A larger, unlit candle had been placed at each of the exact cardinal directions. I found the one in the east, and picked up the little book of matches with trembling hands. Diane stood in the center of the circle and gave me a broad wink.
My stomach twisted in knots. I concentrated on taking slow, deep breaths and going over the words I would say in my head. I hadn’t memorized anything specific—I wasn’t supposed to. But there was a sort of order to the ritual that involved welcoming the spirits of the air, and listing some of the qualities that I wanted to invoke for the purpose of the Initiation. But nothing stayed firmly in my head for very long, and I found myself shaking even harder by the time the others made their way along the wooded path to the glen.
Bea looked very poised and pleasantly aware of the eyes on her. Nikolai took his place with a subdued seriousness, while Shannon hopped on the balls of her feet with barely contained exuberance. I slapped at a mosquito that lit on my shirtsleeve, and tried not to barf.
Diane cleared her throat. “We are gathered here tonight on this full moon to bear witness to a momentous transformation.” Her voice was clear, and she turned slowly in place to address everyone in the circle. “Tonight novices will become one with the coven, and be True Witches in their own right. Tonight these novices will come into their power. So mote it be.”
“So mote it be,” replied the coven in unison.
Bea’s dad, who was acting the part of the high priest, picked up his broom from where it lay on the ground beside him and began symbolically sweeping the edges of the circle. He moved in a counterclockwise direction, and said, “I banish negative energy from this circle.” Occasionally, as he moved past someone, he’d take an extra moment to mime brushing them off. Bea’s dad could read auras and could tell when someone was carrying extra negativity. In his day job he was a computer programmer. Other than the thick glasses and bushy beard he wore, you couldn’t tell. He biked to work every day, and had a trim, athletic body, which was currently covered in a dark, hand-sewn tunic and jeans.
When Bea’s dad got to where I stood in the east, he batted furiously at the air, as though trying to chase off a hoard of bad energy. Very self-conscious that it was my bad attitude he was battling, I tried to help by clearing my mind and centering. Closing my eyes, I drew on my inner stillness until, finally, he continued around the circle. I noticed he stopped and worked furiously at each direction, though not nearly with such animation as he had by me.
All too soon he returned to his place and it was time to begin.
I took a steadying breath, and my eyes scanned the coven and the woods beyond. In the oak trees that lined the circle, I thought I saw movement. Yes, definitely. I saw it again, a flash, almost as if there was someone waving at me, trying to get my attention. I squinted until I was almost certain that someone squatted in the branches of the trees, watching the proceedings with penetrating, unearthly eyes. In fact, there seemed to be a number of someones lurking just outside the circle. I thought I could hear their panting breath, like wolves just beyond the fold.
Others seemed to sense it too. Nikolai suddenly twisted his neck to look over his shoulder, up into the branches. Someone in the circle stifled a gasp. Diane raised her hands as though to remind everyone to focus on the Initiation. “The circle is not yet cast,” she said with a note of urgency in her voice. Until the circle was complete, we weren’t safe from outside magical attack. I thought Diane must sense the others’ presence too. With a look to me, she said, “Let us begin.”
I shook out a match from the box. I struck the head, and the flame flared for a second, then blew out. I tried again. The next one went out a moment after it lit as well.
A dark chuckle echoed through the treetops.
Whatever was out there was mocking me. I tried again, and the light disappeared in a puff. My hands shook so hard, the matches spilled out of the box into the low grass, wet with dew. Now they’d never start!
I should probably just say the words and forget trying to get the candle going, but I knelt down and felt around until I found one. Everyone was watching me, even whatever hovered just outside the light of the circle in the trees.
“Welcome, east,” I croaked, my voice cracking with tension.
Just then, as though by my command, all the candles went out with a whoosh. The circle was plunged into darkness.
Seven
In the sudden darkness, someone let out a bloodcurdling scream. I flinched. The coven’s coherence began to disintegrate as people tried to figure out what was happening. No one left the circle, though. Instead, as if by silent cue, everyone turned to face the woods and locked hands. Diane started up the circle song: “We are a circle, within a circle, with no beginning and never ending.”
The coven picked up the words; the song grew louder, more confident.
Something in the woods hooted sarcastically.
I didn’t know what to do. I looked to Diane, but the high priestess was busily concentrating on keeping everyone focused on holding off the outside threat, whatever it was. Bea caught my eye and, with an uplifted chin, urged me to try calling the element again.
My fingers fumbled for a match.
“Forget that,” Nikolai said, shouting to be heard over the singing. “Let the moon be our light. Just say the words. Draw the wind. Kick a little magical ass.”
Diane nodded encouragingly.
Straightening, I stood and faced the east. It was almost impossible to find my calm center when I could see the others, the shadowy things, pacing through the woods and hiding among the branches of the thick trees. Their shape seemed human, but not much else about them did. Tall and powerful figures, they snarled and snapped like animals. Who were they? Some kind of weird gang? Or were they the enemy that Mom spoke of, the ones from the “other side” that the coven was at war with?
“Come on,” whined Shannon nervously. “We need to have a circle. Now.”
I let the familiarity of the repetitive circle song settle my nerves. “Welcome, east,” I said, as loudly as my trembling voice would allow. “Guardian of word, make our thoughts manifest.”
And here was where a little puff of wind would go very nicely. I tried to magically induce a little “oomph,” but, despite all the talk of destiny and my own fervent hope, absolutely nothing came.
Except a kind of creepy, happy growl.
Bea’s dad, the high priest, shook his head. I could see him glancing back at me. He motioned for me to come and take his place in the outer circle. I looked at Diane for guidance. Diane pursed her lips, and then glanced out at the woods where a kind of chortling snort could be heard. “They’ll attack us without a proper circle, child. I’m sorry.”
It was the “you failed” moment I’d been expecting.
“No!” Mom shouted. “Give her another chance.”
“Mom,” I said as I started toward the spot Bea’s dad had held in the outer circle. “It’s okay.”
“No. No! This must be done tonight. Look at them, Diane! They’ve come for her, and you’re giving her to them.”
The song began to falter as the other coveners strained to follow the argument.
I paused. What did Mom mean? Who or what were those things in the woods? And why did they come tonight? Did it really have something to do with me? Could these be the enemies my dad talked about? Or were they on his side?
“No time to argue. They’ll attack soon,” Bea’s dad said. He broke out of his spot in the circle. As he rushed past me, he all but shoved me into position. “Hold the line,” he yelled authoritatively. “I’m drawing the east now.”
“No, wait.�
� It was Mom again. “You can’t do this to her! What about the candles? Wasn’t that wind magic? She needs a second chance!”
“We don’t have time. Anyway, he has every right. He’s the high priest. It’s his call and I happen to agree with it,” Diane said.
“No,” Mom started up the argument again, but Bea’s dad had already begun. I could sense the swirl of the wind tug at my hair and I heard the rattling of the leaves. I quickly grasped the waiting hands and joined the outer circle.
The creatures in the woods quieted at the show of magic.
But one stepped forward, right in front of me.
It was hard to distinguish all the details in the darkness, but it—no, he—was definitely human, and, uh, quite naked. Dappled moonlight revealed a tall, lean, muscular form with pale, almost luminescent skin. Dark hair framed a hauntingly handsome face and yellow, catlike eyes.
Looking me directly in the face, he put a hand to his heart and bowed slightly. “Princess Anastasija,” he said. “My lady.”
The eyes caught mine and trapped them in his gaze. Unearthly as they were, I found myself wanting to lose myself in their golden pools. A calm swept over me, and I felt a sense of homecoming. What was this wonderful, enchanting being? And why shouldn’t I run wild and free into the woods with him—where I belonged?
Just as I was ready to break from the circle and take the creature by the hand, Bea’s dad spoke his own words of power. The coven repeated, “So mote it be,” and the wind pushed the handsome stranger back a step. He lifted an arm to ward it off, but stumbled into the shadows of the trees and disappeared completely from view.
“Wait,” I implored.
But the woman holding my hand squeezed it tightly and shook her head as if to say, “No, this is best.”
Although I couldn’t see any movement, I could feel the others retreating as well. Their presence faded as the magic swelled.
Almost to Die For Page 6