by Sarina Dorie
“Brownies,” I said. It was a pretty good excuse. I’d seen Vega set out food for the cleaning staff. “I have a lot of laundry I want them to take care of.”
“That isn’t going to work. It’s school food. They make the school food. They have higher standards than their own cooking.”
“How do you know? Have you ever tried leaving out school food?” I drained my orange juice.
“Why do you never listen?” Thatch asked.
Sebastian Reade sat down on the other side of Thatch, ignoring me. The foreign language teacher was a middle-aged man with silvery hair. He reached for a roll, a dreamy expression coming over his face.
“Wow, I am in love,” he said to no one in particular.
Thatch turned to him.
It was the distraction I needed.
Sebastian smiled and sighed. “I heard Jeb hired a new history teacher. I had no idea she would be so beautiful. I just ran into her outside the library.”
I slid my tray away and backed from the table slowly, not wanting the motion of my escape to catch Thatch’s eye.
Thatch snorted. “That isn’t our new history teacher. It’s the librarian.”
“We’re getting a new librarian too?” Sebastian asked.
“No, that’s Miss Periwinkle.”
Sebastian laughed. “You can’t be serious.” He stopped laughing when he saw Thatch’s stern expression. “Do you think she would go on a date with me?”
“She’s out of your league.” Thatch leaned forward conspiratorially. “In any case, I hear her boyfriend is a sadistic Merlin-class Celestor who removed the eyeballs from the last man who ogled her. I advise extreme caution.”
CHAPTER FOUR
The Emperor’s New Clothes
I headed straight for Derrick’s room in the unused wing of the school. I had to duck under spiderwebs and climb over rubble to get there. The stone walls near his room were painted with murals of me, Cthulhu, and a few of his other favorite things.
I knocked on his door. There was no answer. It was unlocked so I went inside and set down the food. I waited for over ten minutes, but he didn’t return. I didn’t blame him for not waiting. I had taken almost an hour to shower and get food.
His coat was gone, so I supposed he might have gone to talk to Khaba. He’d sounded concerned about his job security.
In my haste to leave the cafeteria, I had failed in my mission to acquire Derrick clothes. He probably still needed some. I couldn’t imagine what he was wearing. I left the tray of food, and I went to Khaba’s office in the administration wing, but the door was locked and the room dark. The principal wasn’t in either, but that was no surprise. Even if it hadn’t been a Sunday, Jeb was never in.
I headed to my room next to see if there was anything I could find for him there. Fortunately, Vega was gone. All my clothes were child-sized due to my diminutive stature. I considered where I would be able to get Derrick clothes that would fit him. Derrick was taller than Pro Ro and most of the other male teachers. The only person his height was Thatch.
Since it was a Sunday, that meant Thatch would have cafeteria duty until nine. If I hurried, I could sneak into Thatch’s private quarters and grab a pair of pants and a shirt for Derrick. Thatch had been livid that one time I’d looked in his desk for Post-its. I tried not to think about how he’d react if he caught me stealing his clothes.
This time, I wasn’t going to get caught. Plus, we were just going to borrow the clothes. Derrick could get dressed and then go into Lachlan Falls to buy something. Then we could wash Thatch’s clothes and return them. Easy peasy. Or so I tried to convince myself.
What Thatch would do if he saw those clothes on Derrick was a different problem. Then again, if Thatch saw Derrick wasn’t invisible, that trumped appropriated clothes.
I powerwalked to the hallway with the tapestry of the dragon and knight in battle. The moment no students were in the hallway, I ducked into the dark passage. I felt along the wall. I wished I had my cell phone to use as a flashlight. I followed a turn in the stone corridor until I walked into a set of armor. I groped the metal man until I found his arm to give him the secret handshake and pulled his arm down. The grinding of stone and a faint glow came from around the corner.
A bluish rectangle of light shone around another tapestry. I ducked underneath and hurried toward the windows set in the walls. Each window revealed a different bedroom, the sizes and positions of the windows reflecting where mirrors were placed in the rooms. Most of the dormitories were empty, but Pro Ro still lay asleep in his. Grandmother Bluehorse sat in her housecoat drinking coffee at a table. The view into these rooms was silvery and bright, a ghostly version of the world.
I passed the rooms by until I came to Thatch’s. The blanket had been removed from the mirror, and I got an unobstructed view of his unmade bed. Maroon curtains were untied from the posts and draped around the canopy bed.
I touched the surface of the mirror, the glass rippling like water. It was cold and thick, sucking at my hand like a bog. I stuck my hand through the looking glass. My fingers were silvery blue like the scene on the other side. I pushed the rest of myself through the cold surface, arriving in his private quarters.
The room was empty. The door to the bathroom was closed as was the one that led out to the short hallway to his office. I tried not to examine the clothes littered around the floor too closely. At least Miss Periwinkle wasn’t in his bed any longer.
Immediately I went to Thatch’s dresser. Each drawer reflected his orderly existence, everything neatly folded and organized. I found socks in the second drawer and undershirts in the third. There was no way I was going to touch his underwear in the top drawer. There wasn’t a need for ascots or cravats so I skipped that one. I considered whether the loose pajamas in the bottom would be more comfortable or it would be more appropriate to give Derrick slacks and a button-up shirt.
I went for the wardrobe next and selected a pair of gray pants and a button-up shirt from the back. I considered taking the vest and jacket but decided not to. A door creaked behind me.
“What are you doing?” a woman’s voice asked.
I whirled. Miss Periwinkle stood in the doorway to the bathroom, a towel wrapped around herself.
Craptacular. I was caught.
CHAPTER FIVE
Don’t Mess with a Siren
“Sorry, I didn’t know you were here?” The statement came out a question.
I hadn’t suspected Gertrude Periwinkle would be there, not with Sebastian Reade saying he’d just seen her in the library. But apparently, she’d come back for more of Thatch. Maybe this was why Thatch had given Josie his detention duty—so he could spend time with her instead. Maybe that was why he was too busy to search for ingredients for that spell.
Gertrude Periwinkle’s long blonde hair dripped water onto the wooden floor. She was no longer the old wrinkled prune she had been the day before, but a young woman my age. She was inhumanly beautiful, as radiant as an angel. Beads of moisture on her skin caught the vague illumination from above so that each droplet shone like a diamond.
Her perfect pink lips puckered into a frown that would have looked more in place on her old body than this new one given to her through my magic. “How did you get in? Do you have a key?”
I hugged the clothes to my chest. “Yes.”
Her eyes narrowed. Maybe she knew I was lying. Miss Periwinkle was a Celestor, and they were known for their divination abilities. Not that Vega had tried very hard with me.
“What are you doing in my boyfriend’s room?”
“Oh, um, don’t mind me. I just had to get some clothes.”
“For Felix? Why didn’t he ask me?” She looked more hurt than angry now.
“For someone else.” I backed up until I reached the door. “Sorry for the inconvenience.”
“Give me your key,” she said.
“Huh?” I groped for the handle behind me.
; The chill in her voice could have frozen the flames of hell. “There isn’t enough room for both of us in his life. Give me your key.”
“I don’t have a key.” I opened the door, ready to make my getaway.
She lunged forward and pushed the door closed. “Yes, you do. You just told me you had a key. How else did you get in?”
I sighed in exasperation. “Okay, I lied. I used magic to get in.”
She snorted. “I think we both know how inadequate your magic skills are.”
There was no way I was getting away easy now. She was going to tell Thatch I’d been here stealing his clothes. I tried to think of a way out of this.
“Look,” I said. “I’m not supposed to be here. But neither are you. The school rules forbid fraternizing with colleagues. Unlike you, I’m not naked.”
Her face turned red. “Those rules were created for you. For your protection.” She spat out the words like they tasted bad in her mouth.
“Exactly. All that sex magic and fertility stuff might endanger me. You probably were just using the shower in the dungeon because it’s so much less moldy than your wing. I’m sure that would go over well with Jeb and Khaba, especially considering you used to be a siren and people at this school think sirens are the equivalent of succubae.”
A vein pulsed in her forehead. She didn’t look as pretty with the red splotches breaking out across her face. “Fine, have it your way.” She dropped her hand from the door and stepped back. “Just know this isn’t over.”
I hurried out the door.
She shouted after me. “And if I ever catch you in here again, I’ll yank out your entrails and use them to hang you from the highest tower of this school.”
Gertrude Periwinkle and Felix Thatch were made for each other. I couldn’t wait to see what impending doom fell upon me when Thatch learned I had been in his room.
CHAPTER SIX
Invismo Winslow
Derrick still wasn’t in his room when I returned with clothes. Where was he, and why was he taking so long? Maybe he was looking for me? I found a blank page on his sketchpad.
I used one of his fancy markers to write a note:
I came, I saw, I conquered. Actually, I just brought you food and clothes. I suspect you should keep a low profile until we talk more. I’ll be back later.
XOXO
C
I didn’t know what to do now. The idea of Derrick wandering around the school visible made me nervous. I didn’t know how Thatch would react. Maybe I should have just told him. Still, he had forbidden me from seeing Derrick. I couldn’t imagine he’d be happy.
Even if Derrick had gone somewhere like Lachlan Falls for clothes, Thatch might see him walking on the school grounds to get there. If Thatch was working for the Raven Queen, I was in this mess way over my head.
I needed help.
Josie sat behind a tall stack of essays in her classroom. I took it detention duty hadn’t yet begun for her. She moaned the moment I walked into her room.
She removed her black-rimmed glasses. “Please say you’re my fairy godmother come to take me to the ball and you have a herd of small mice to do all these papers for me.”
“Sorry, no such luck. I’m the kind of wonderful friend who’s here to add to your problems.”
She laughed, thinking I was joking. “I wish I had started this three days ago, but I was grading last week’s essays. And before that, it was more essays. I hate teaching Morty Studies. I so much wish I was teaching the History of Fae Studies, but they wanted someone who had lived in the Morty Realm for this.” She laid her head on her arms. Her patched witch hat fell onto the floor. “I need to learn not to procrastinate. Why do I do this to myself every time?”
“I could tell you why I procrastinate.” I picked up her hat and placed it on my head. “But I’ll tell you later.”
She lifted her head, her wan smile conveying little appreciation for my sense of humor. “Funny.”
I sat down at one of the desks that was probably too small for most teenagers but fit me. “I need to talk to you about last night.”
“You’re going to tell me why you told Thatch you spent the night in my room? I take it this had nothing to do with Vega’s snoring and bad breath?”
I glanced over my shoulder. No one was in the hallway. “I have a boyfriend.”
“No way!” She jumped to her feet and snatched her hat off my head.
I thought she would smile and congratulate me. Instead, she smacked me with her hat. It probably hurt the hat more than it did me.
“Have you gone crazy, girl?” She smacked me again.
I backed away. “What was that for?”
“You can’t have a boyfriend. You’ll lose your job. Jeb said no sex. Remember? We don’t want your fertility magic to make this school all Fifty Shades of Magic and set off already horny teenagers.”
“My magic isn’t like that. I think… .” I lowered my voice. “I think maybe Thatch misled Jeb and Khaba into believing my magic would do that. I think he’s been lying, but I don’t understand why.” I went over to the door and closed it before launching into the full story.
I told her everything: about my previous relationship with Derrick and what had happened when we’d kissed when I’d been fifteen; Thatch’s explanation that I was forbidden from seeing Derrick until his curse was lifted because it was too dangerous; his explanation that I could break Derrick’s curse by collecting ingredients for a spell; and I recounted the events involving the invisible man, one of the school’s security staff, and how he had been following me the previous semester. I explained Thatch had given Invismo an incentive to watch me to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid that would get me fired.
He had neglected to tell me Derrick was the invisible man.
Josie stared at me in shock. “Thatch is the most legit bag of dicks ever! You couldn’t see him because of his curse? Is that supposed to be a joke?”
“Yeah, I guess. So now I don’t know what to do. I discovered the invisible man was Derrick. I broke the curse without Thatch’s help. I’ve cured him—which I think Thatch didn’t want me to do because Derrick remembers him being employed by the Raven Queen. He thinks Thatch cursed him or something.”
“Fucking A.” She waved a hand at the stacks of papers on her desk. “Why did you have to tell me this on the day I have so much work to do?”
“I’m sorry. You always give good advice. I didn’t know what to do.”
“Duh. You have to tell Khaba. But don’t tell him you slept with Derrick. Tell him you tried the spell and cured him.”
“Will he believe me?”
“It doesn’t matter if he believes you. He’s like a lawyer. He’s obligated to report your admission of misdeeds.” She leaned forward. “That means you can’t ever tell him you broke a school rule. He’s Fae, and he lives for rules. Got it?”
Ten minutes later, I sat in Khaba’s office with Josie. The smile slid from our dean of discipline’s face as I told him an abbreviated version of events.
Khaba ran a hand over his bald head. “What do you mean Invismo Winslow isn’t invisible anymore?”
“Derrick Winslow,” I corrected.
Khaba paced the small expanse of his office, though I didn’t see how he could stand to walk at all considering how tight his leather pants were. His hot-pink, leopard-print shirt was unbuttoned down to his navel, exposing his washboard abs. Fae magic radiated off him in a cloud. He was so beautiful it made my eyes water if I looked at him too long.
Josie stared at him dreamily.
Khaba ceased pacing. “By the way, is he hot? I always imagined he would be sexy.”
“I think he is.” I cleared my throat. “But let’s get back to the important issues… .”
Khaba crossed his arms and leaned against a hot-pink file cabinet covered in unicorn stickers. “Like the fact that you lifting his ‘curse’ means I’m going to need a new security guard.”
“By important, I meant Thatch’s ulterior motives.”
He ignored me. “Do you know how hard it is to find an invisible man who isn’t a pervert? I had to fire the last one for peeking in the girls’ locker room while students were undressing.” He gazed into a crystal ball on the filing cabinet. “Invismo was a sweetheart.”
Derrick had always been a nice guy. That time my sister had put alcohol and probably a roofie into my drink at homecoming, Derrick was the one who had cleaned up my vomit and taken care of me. He had refused my suggestions to make out, explaining how that would be taking advantage of me. Even as an adult he’d been reluctant to kiss me, afraid he was taking advantage of my affinity.
“But just because he’s visible now doesn’t mean he can’t have a job here, right?” I asked. I’d only gotten him back the day before. I didn’t want to lose him again.
Josie nudged me. “What about Thatch?”
“What are you going to do about him being employed by the Raven Queen?” I asked.
“Honey, I need evidence. Right now, it’s Derrick’s word against Thatch’s.” Khaba drummed his fingers against the pink file cabinet. “Who would Jeb believe? Who would the Witchkin Council believe? A teacher with a … fairly clean record? Or some kid whose memories have been tampered with by the Raven Queen herself?”
“What do you mean by ‘fairly’ clean? What did Thatch do?” I asked.
“People suspected he was involved in experiments with Alouette Loraline, and he was taken into custody. Heck, I suspected he was guilty. He was released due to lack of evidence. Jeb vouched for him, claiming he’d been a victim in the entire thing.” He rolled his eyes in disgust.
Khaba didn’t come right out and say my biological mother had tortured Thatch to near death, but that had to be the reason why Jeb felt sympathy for him.
“But you think Thatch still works for the Raven Queen?” I asked. “You think he has an ulterior motive to teach me dark magic to summon a demon like my mother did all those years ago.”