“Yeah, it’s crazy how much he looks like him now that he’s getting older.”
“So, you’re babysitting?” Charlie plays with her wireless headphones, twisting them around her fingers.
“I am. Scarlet—Wes’s wife and Violet’s mother—is pretty exhausted. She’s napping.”
“That’s…that’s really nice of you.”
“You sound surprised.” I watch Jackson ride his bike to the corner and turn around. He’s allowed to go up and down the street as long as I’m out here watching him. We have plans later to put Vi in her stroller and go to the park a few blocks down from the house.
“It’s just…just…I’m not.”
Fuck, I shouldn’t love it when she gets flustered like this. It doesn’t happen very often, making me think seeing me again is doing bad things to her just like it is to me.
Or at least I hope.
Because I’ve spent the last few years telling myself I’m fine, that living it up and being single is what I want out of life. That I’m over her.
And seeing her now…fuck.
“You look good,” she says and then almost looks surprised by her confession.
“I work out.” I give her a wink and she laughs, shaking her head.
“And you haven’t changed much.”
My cocky smile disappears from my face. I have changed. I’ve grown up a lot, though to be fair, I still have some growing up left to do.
But I’m not the same man who told her I wasn’t ready to settle down. And I’ve grown enough since then to realize how much of a mistake I made.
“Why change what’s perfect?” I raise my eyebrows and she rolls her eyes, trying hard not to laugh. “What about you? Has the big city changed you?”
And now it’s her turn to be somber. “Yes. It has.”
“In a good way?”
She looks out at the street, watching a car roll through the stop sign. “I’m not sure yet.”
“I heard you’re getting married.” I don’t mean to blurt it out, but dammit, I need to know. I swallow hard and push my heart back down into my chest. I watch her face, looking for the words she won’t say out loud.
But she gives nothing away, sign of a good lawyer, I suppose.
“Not anymore.”
“Sorry.”
“Thanks.” She shrugs and turns her head down. A sharp ache hits me square in the chest. As much as I want Charlie to be mine and only mine, seeing her dejected like this is killing me. I’d rather have all the heartache, all the pain and regret in the world, than have her feel even the slightest bit of it.
“We’re going for a walk,” I start. “You could join if you want. Unless you need to finish your run. Then, by all means, go ahead so I can watch you leave.”
She shakes her head again. “I’m walking that way anyway,” she confesses. “I can walk with you. It’s only two blocks down and I need to get my heart rate back down.”
“Then maybe being close to me is a bad idea.”
“You are just as I remember.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
I take a few steps back, looking back at Jackson to make sure he’s slowing before he gets to the other street corner. Once he turns his bike around, I hurry up the porch steps to get Violet’s stroller, grabbing it with one hand.
“It’s not good or bad,” Charlie answers, staying in the same spot. I get Violet situated, pull the visor up to keep her shaded, and then double-check the diaper bag, making sure I have extra diapers, wipes, and her bottle.
“You really got this uncle thing down,” Charlie comments as we start down the street.
“I’m the favorite. Don’t tell Logan, Dean, or Archer.”
Charlie smiles and we silently go down the block, walking fast to keep up with Jackson.
“I haven’t been here in years,” Charlie muses to herself when we roll up to the park. Jackson ditches his bike and sprints ahead, seeing some of his friends from school. I keep walking, finding a spot in the shade to sit and give Violet her bottle.
Charlie watches us for a moment before sitting next to me. She smiles at Violet, baby-talking a hello to try and get her to smile.
“How old is she?”
“Two and a half months,” I answer without having to think. “Quinn and Archer’s little one is only a few weeks older.”
“Aww, that’ll be nice to have a cousin close in age.”
I nod. “Quinn and Scarlet have become really close too. They’re both obsessed with their damn cats,” I laugh.
“What’s wrong with cats?” Charlie hikes up both eyebrows.
“Not you too. At least Logan and Danielle have a dog in addition to their cats.”
“I have a feeling I’m missing something.”
“It’s a bit of a running joke between us that started with Quinn being a crazy cat lady, who then turned Scarlet into one.”
“And Scarlet is Weston’s new wife?”
“Yeah.”
“I still can’t get over finding out Quinn and Archer got married. I never would have seen that coming. Well, aside from her having a massive crush on him when she was a teenager.”
“She didn’t have a crush on Archer.”
Charlie lets out a snort of laughter. “Oh, she did big time. How did you not see it?”
I make a face and readjust Violet in my arms, sitting her up a bit so she can have her bottle. “He was so much older than her.”
“He still is older than her.”
“Yeah, but it’s different now.”
Charlie laughs and shakes her head. “All four of you were purposely oblivious to Quinn’s love life back then, you know. But pretending it didn’t exist didn’t mean it wouldn’t happen.”
I laugh too. “I still like to pretend it doesn’t exist. Because Archer’s like a brother and she’s my sister and it’s a little weird.”
“I think it’s sweet. Oh, and I read an article a few years ago online about Quinn selling that app she developed. That’s unbelievable.”
“She’s always been smart.”
“She has. The last time I saw her, she was coming back for a long weekend from MIT.” It’s weird having Charlie here like this. She’s been gone for so long, yet she fits in like she just left yesterday.
Jackson runs back over, taking his bike helmet off and dropping it on the ground before taking off again. I grab a burp cloth and the bottle and start feeding Violet. She gets through not even half before she starts to fall asleep.
“It’s really nice that you’re babysitting,” Charlie says again, smiling as she looks at the sleeping baby in my arms.
“I like it,” I tell her honestly. “Mostly because I get to give the kids back at the end of the day.”
Charlie laughs. “That is a perk. You were always good with kids, though. Probably because you’re just a big kid yourself.”
As much as I like sitting here talking and joking like nothing has changed, it’s starting to mess with my head. Because I know what I’ll be thinking about for the rest of the day.
And the night.
And tomorrow.
But worse, I know how I’ll be feeling. It’s all sunshine and fucking rainbows right now, but once the lights go out and it’s just my thoughts in the dark, the regret will start to creep up on me. It always starts in the pit of my stomach, forming a hard knot that I have to drown in whiskey or tequila.
Yet that fucker is able to float and will rise to the surface and remind me of everything I did wrong in our relationship. How what I thought I wanted then turned out to be the very thing I feared most in life.
Being alone, forced to watch the only woman I’ll ever love move on with her life…and away from me.
Chapter 8
Charlie
“That’s enough sun for now,” Owen calls to Jackson about twenty minutes later. Jackson throws his head back dramatically and begs for one more minute. Owen chuckles and agrees, and then stands to slip the sleeping baby into her stroller.
His biceps bulge under his gray t-shirt and the look on his face as he gently lays Violet down is doing bad, bad things to me. He really loves his niece. He actually does enjoy taking Jackson to the park. Is he a family man after all?
“Hey, Owen,” a group of three moms, one of them pushing a double stroller, comes up the park sidewalk.
“Hey, ladies,” Owen says back with his famous cocky grin. I don’t think he realizes he does it anymore, and that smug smirk just comes naturally to him. “Nice day today, isn’t it?”
The mom with the stroller bites her bottom lip and looks Owen up and down. “It’s a little hot out here, don’t you think?”
The other two moms make a joke about it getting hotter. Owen laughs to oblige them, and the weirdest thing is starting to happen to me.
I think…I think I’m feeling a little jealous.
I squeeze my eyes closed. Stop it right now, Charlie. I’m not in the right headspace to date anyone. And I know better than to get back together with an ex who broke my heart years ago.
Wanting to get married and have children was what drove Owen and me apart in the first place. I wanted to settle down, go ring shopping on the weekends, and pick out baby names.
Owen didn’t.
We wanted different things in life, which no one can fault either of us for. I was willing to wait for Owen, convinced he’d just need a year or two to realize that starting a family was something he wanted to do too.
I guess I was wrong.
Though, really…the joke is on me. Because here I am, in my thirties now, and single as ever and still childless.
“Oh my goodness,” one of the moms whisper-squeals as she looks at Violet. “She gets cuter every time I see her!”
“She gets that from me,” Owen says, and everyone erupts into giggles.
Jackson runs over, cheeks beet red and panting. “I’m thirsty,” he pants, and Owen tears himself away from his fan club to get Jackson a juice box from the diaper bag. He sticks the straw in for Jackson and then rustles his hair, teasing him about being sweaty.
“Can we go swimming at Grammy’s?” Jackson asks Owen as he buckles his helmet back into place.
“That’s not up to me, buddy. Grammy will say yes, of course, but we have to ask your mom.”
I watch Owen out of the corner of my eye, thinking that he’s changed a lot. Maybe?
“Are you going to be in town for a while?” he asks me.
“It seems that way.”
“Come to Getaway tonight. You can drink on the house.” He turns his head, flashing that cocky grin again that makes me feel all squishy inside. “You still like sweet red wine, right?”
I nod. “Yeah, I do.”
“Then I’ll make sure to have some. If I remember correctly, which I know I am, red wine always…” He trails off and wiggles his eyebrows.
“Owen,” I start, voice edging on scolding. It’ll be all too easy to fall back to old habits, and Owen would be a hard one to break. It took years for me to get over him the first time…if I even got over him at all.
Inhaling deep, I look down the opposite direction of the street.
“I…I should finish my run,” I tell Owen. “It was good to see you, though.”
“It usually is.”
Smirking, I shake my head. No, he hasn’t changed at all. “Tell your mom I said hi.”
“You could tell her yourself.” He adjusts the sun visor on the stroller. “Come over for dinner on Sunday.”
“Your mom still does Sunday dinners?”
Owen smiles. “She never stopped. Give me your number and I’ll call you.”
“Owen…” I let out a breath. “That’s not a good idea.”
“Why not? Worried you won’t be able to resist me?”
Yes, I am a little worried, actually. I narrow my eyes. “Of course not. But what’s the point?”
He shrugs, getting a cocky glint in his eyes. “You never know what could happen. And if anything, we could just have sex. We were always good at that, if I remember correctly. I always pleased you. Multiple times.”
I come to a dead stop, staring at him openmouthed with a you did just not say that look in my eyes. Then again, I’m not surprised, and suddenly, heat is flashing through me. Owen is good. With his fingers. His mouth. His tongue…and holy shit, that big cock.
“You’re disgusting.”
He raises his eyebrows. “I did remember correctly. And you never thought what we did was disgusting before. I seem to remember one particular night in vivid detail that involved you, me, and the roof of your parents’ house. What you wanted me to do to you…I still think about my head between your legs while balancing two stories above the ground.”
“Jackson might hear you,” I hiss, getting turned on and annoyed by Owen’s open dirty talking.
“Nah, he’s too far ahead. Hey, Jackson, we’re going to Disney World,” he says just to prove his point. The boy doesn’t so much as turn around. “See?”
“And if he did hear you? Have fun telling him Disney was just a joke.”
He shrugs. “Then I guess I’d have to take him. Wes and Scarlet won’t be going anytime soon with the new baby and all. Jackson loved going last year. And it gives me a good excuse to go on all those kiddy rides. The Haunted Mansion ride is the shit, you know.”
All I can do is laugh and shake my head, which is all I’ve been doing since I stepped back into Owen’s presence. I don’t know how someone can go from making my panties melt off to then making me laugh like this. But that’s Owen fucking Dawson for you…
“You didn’t give me your number yet.” Owen stops at a street corner, eyes on Jackson. He steps to the side of the stroller, keeping one hand on it but ready to jump forward and grab his nephew in case he doesn’t stop to let the cars pass. Dammit, Owen. Stop being so attentive and caring and sexy and—stop.
“That was done on purpose.” I stick my earbuds back in my ears. “Bye, Owen.”
I take off, running down the block before I slow enough to look down at my phone to turn my music back on. My heart is hammering and sweat broke out along my forehead as soon as I turned and ran away. I keep going, not stopping until I’m back on my parents’ block.
Panting, I climb the porch steps and heft into the porch swing. I should cool down and then stretch, but I need to sit right now and sort out my thoughts. Because they’re all over the damn place. Taking my earbuds out of my ears once again, I call Marcus.
“Are you being held hostage?” he answers on the second ring.
“Yes, I am. Send me five thousand dollars,” I say dryly. “Or a new pair of Christian Louboutins, which would be slightly less expensive.”
“Only slightly,” he laughs. “But seriously. You never call. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know,” I confess and lean back, pressing the heels of my feet against the porch and then pushing off to get the swing in motion. “That’s the issue. I have no idea what’s going on. Well, I did, and then I didn’t.”
“Are you having a nervous breakdown or something?”
“I wish I could say that was the reason,” I laugh. “I ran into my ex and was not prepared at all for it. He was holding a baby, Marcus. A little baby girl.”
“Your ex, Owen?” he asks, and I internally cringe over the fact that he even knows Owen’s name. I could have sworn I’d only brought him up once. Maybe twice.
“Yes.”
“He has a baby?”
“No, it was his niece and he was babysitting so his sister-in-law could nap.”
“How sweet.”
“Right?” I close my eyes and push the swing again.
“I still don’t get why you called.” The sound of a busy New York City street comes through the phone. “Unless seeing Owen is making you feel—”
“Nothing. It’s making me feel nothing. I just got out of a long-term relationship. A serious one. Like as serious as you can get, well, without being married and having children. I should be upset abo
ut Todd still, right? Not about—wait. I’m nothing. Nothing toward Owen.”
Marcus laughs. “You’re cute when you’re flustered, and I’m sad I’m not there to see it in person. I’ve never seen Ms. Big-shot Lawyer flustered before.”
“I’m not flustered,” I say, not believing it myself. “I’m a little annoyed, that’s all. Owen is so…so arrogant.”
“Arrogant but looks good with a baby in his arms?”
“Ugh, yes.” I stand up and walk down the steps. “I need to get back to work. All this free time is messing with my head.”
“Honey, maybe you should take a hard look in the mirror. Why is Owen instantly frustrating you?”
“I just told you. He’s a cocky asshole. Ugh, he’s seriously infuriating! You should have heard what he said to me. I cannot stand that man.”
“Mm-hm. I’m sure that’s it.”
“Maybe I’m looking for a rebound. Is rebound sex a thing? Does it help?” I shake my head. “Never mind. I’m not sleeping with Owen.”
“Can I be honest, honey?”
“Your blunt honesty is why I love you.”
“I think Todd was your rebound.”
“My rebound?” I open my mouth but don’t know what to say. “No…no way. He was my fiancé! That’s not a rebound.”
“In the last two minutes, I’ve heard you have more passion in your voice over Owen than I did in the years you were with Todd. And I almost don’t want to say it, but I’m going to. We all know you and Todd were over before you ended things.”
“I…that’s not true,” I stumble over my words.
“I love you and want you to be happy. Just think about what I said.”
“Fine, I’ll think about it.”
“And feel free to send me any pictures of that sexy man holding a baby. You know I’m a sucker for hot guys holding babies. And puppies. Or reading or holding a cup of coffee.”
“So just hot men in general?” I laugh.
“Guilty. I’m about to get in a cab, talk soon, though, okay?”
“Of course.” I end the call and go inside to stretch and shower. Then I get something to eat and go back upstairs. Lying down in bed, I grab a book and plan on reading a few chapters, escaping into a fictional world and not thinking about ex-boyfriends or ex-fiancés or anything of the sort. This fictional land full of witches and sexy vampires is much more exciting, anyway.
Fight Dirty: A Dawson Family Novel Page 5